Vegetable jokes for kids

Vegetables can be fun
Vegetables can be fun 

Download vegetable joke worksheet

Vegetable jokes for kids - fresh, clean, playground friendly, and totally silly.  Download and print this free Vege jokes for kids and get your little joker munching away on these funnies.

What's the fastest vegetable?
A runner bean.

What's the strongest vegetable?
A muscle sprout.

What did the lettuce say to the celery?
Quit stalking me.

What do you call a retired vegetable?
A has-bean.

What do you call a fast fungus?
A mush-vroom.

Do you know who the father of all bad jokes is?
Pop Corn!

If you had 5 potatoes in one hand and 6 leeks in the other hand what would you have?
Massive hands.

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Knock, Knock
Who's there?
Lettuce
Lettuce Who?
Lettuce in and you'll find out!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Bean
Bean who?
Bean a while since I last saw ya!

Why are you looking so glum?
I've lost my root vegetable.
Don't worry, it will turnip.

What vegetable can you throw away the outside, cook the inside, eat the outside, and throw away the inside?
Corn.

Why shouldn't you tell secrets in a farm?
Potatos have eyes, the beans-talk and the corn have ears.

What's the coolest vegetable?
A rad-ish!

Why do potatoes always argue?
Because they can never see eye to eye.

What is a plumber's favourite vegetable?
A leek.

What did one snowman say to the other?
It all smells like carrots to me. 

Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares?
Because they take up too mushroom.

What's the difference between broccoli and snot?
Kids don't eat broccoli.

Want more jokes? Check out our list of joke pages here.

Got one we missed? Add your clean and washed vegetable joke in the comments below.

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