It seems my then three-year-old daughter was right when she threw herself to the ground screaming when I cut her toast in squares, not triangles.
I thought she was just being a control freak, but I was wrong. I will never admit to that, of course.
I've since discovered that people have very strong feelings about how toast should be cut and it has been evidenced by an overwhelming outpouring of emotions, over a simple tweet.
Twitter user Hallam Nation, which runs student nights in Sheffield, posted an image showing three ways to cut toast, with the accompanying caption: "Which way would you prefer our staff to do you toast at the end of the night?".
Which way would you prefer our staff to do you toast at the end of a night?! pic.twitter.com/QKLUb5uX5x— 🎅🏼hallamnation 🎅🏼 (@hallamnation) December 9, 2017
The images shows toast cut diagonally, vertically and horizontally – and people have lost their minds. Much like my then three-year-old when I cut her toast "wrong".
"#3 makes me very uncomfortable and now I have to find a safe space. PS: I encourage all of you to give this test to potential future spouses…some things are too important not to be discussed," said one person.
"1 is the only acceptable way," said another.
While this user really let her feelings be known: "If anyone turns down having triangle toast when it is offered, then they don't deserve toast (only sociopaths cut their toast long ways)".
And this user was also set in her ways: "If you prefer 2, you prefer chaos. There is not symmetry to 2! It's like yin and yin. If you like your yin without yang, then by all means go with 2. If you prefer to eat your bread like people who are free to live outside of institutions, go with 1 or 3".
Then to take the argument into a total new direction many people questioned if in fact toast needed to be cut all.
"I literally don't cut my toast I eat it whole," said one person.
To be fair, I am most concerned that in each example there is no butter to the corners. I mean, who eats dry toast?