Mum shocked by son’s sex question

"it's a credit to you that he feels comfortable to ask you the question, even if he didn’t
like the answer.”
"it's a credit to you that he feels comfortable to ask you the question, even if he didn’t like the answer.” Photo: Shutterstock

I try to be open and honest when my kids ask me about sex. Luckily, so far, their interest has been purely theoretical and hasn't extended to asking anything too personal – apart from my son asking, on a scale of 1-10, how sad am I to not have a penis. (I'll survive, champ.)

But one mum of a curious boy hasn't been so lucky, and she shared her plight online.

This mum was horrified when her 12-year-old son asked her how often she had sex with her husband. To her credit, she answered him honestly - after giving him an opportunity to think about whether he really wanted to know the answer.

Then, when she told her son that she has sex with his dad once or twice a week, he immediately told her to "never say that again".

Careful what you wish for, kid.

I can only assume what he was hoping to hear was that his parents had only done it the once, the day he was conceived – all the lights were off and they don't really like to speak nor think of it.

"Am I being unreasonable to be mortified at this question from my son?" the mum wrote on Mumsnet.

"I am a very modest person and never talk about sex with friends at all, but my son has far fewer inhibitions and often mentions things I find embarrassing. I would never in a million years have asked that question of my mother.

"Even though I tried to seem calm and cool, it felt just really odd. Maybe because I was taken by surprise."

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The mum asked other Mumsnet users whether they had similar conversations with their kids, adding that she never expected her son to ask such personal questions.

Commenters were divided: some thought it was great the son felt comfortable enough to ask such a question, while others thought it was stepping over the line into being too personal.

"To be honest, he asked and you felt ok in answering," wrote one parent. "It's not as if you casually mentioned it to the cashier at Tesco or something. It's typical that he'll feel grossed out by it. But there we go. He asked a question and got an answer."

Another said, "I can't say I've ever asked my mum this, but I know when I was learning about sex I wondered a lot about things like this and how much people were having sex. I'd say it's a credit to you that he feels comfortable to ask you the question, even if he didn't like the answer."

Others expressed their disapproval, with one saying she thought the boy "crossed the boundaries" in their parent-child relationship, commenting, "It is inappropriate for anyone to enquire about your sex life. Be that your parents, children or friends. Some things are just private."

Another unimpressed parent wrote, "Did you ask him why he wanted to know? That is a very personal question and to be honest I would've probably told him it was none of his business."

One thing is for sure, whether the question was appropriate or not, the boy probably won't be asking his mother about her sex life again in a hurry.