'Stylish' kids: fashion or farce?
Is "stylish" the new "spoilt rotten"? ... Tom Cruise with daughter Suri. Photo: Reuters
It was American design great Bill Blass who said in perfectly understated terms: "Style is primarily a matter of instinct." What the late Blass might say, then, to learning that a six-month-old is on a "most stylish children" list is probably best left at a long, bored, groan.
Controversial UK website Twisted Twee has gone out of its way to coax public opinion as to the world's most stylish child. The resulting rollcall, a who's who of children in celebrity news, is as boring as it is tacky. (See the full list in our gallery.)
Harper Beckham was recently named most stylish celebrity baby ... and was named, at just two months old, the hottest young celebrity under the age of 25
And the winner is ... Suri Cruise. At the age of six, the progeny of the ill-fated Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes union reportedly has a wardrobe valued at an astonishing $1.96million.
Most stylish celebrity kids
Number 10: Astala Geldof-Cohen, 3 months, son of Peaches Geldof and Thomas Cohen.
While her parents fill column inches for all the wrong reasons, Suri is apparently able to hold her own in the style stakes. All this despite not being allowed to cross the road alone.
Next up is Beyoncé and Jay-Z's baby, Blue Ivy - and this is where the list descends from risible into the downright farcical.
I have seen precisely two photos of six-month-old Blue in which she's not being covered and hidden away from the camera lens. I could no sooner isolate her style as I could guess how many feeds she has a day. She can't sleep through a night or sit up, for goodness' sake, let alone exercise fine aesthetic judgement when it comes to her daily wardrobe needs.
In third place is Willow Smith, of Will Smith fame. Old-timer, Willow, 11, is an edgy dresser (and has been since the tender age of seven). We'll let that one pass.
Capping the top five is Harper Seven Beckham. She may only be one, but Harper is no stranger to sartorial accolades. In fact Victoria and David's girl was recently named most stylish celebrity baby - and was named, at JUST TWO MONTHS OLD, the hottest young celebrity under the age of 25. To put that in perspective, Lady Gaga came in at 99th.
These children (Willow is excused) are wearing clothes bought for them, given to them, gifted to them from designers. Like hand-me-downs and school uniforms, they don't have much choice in the matter - their designer rags are taken care of.
At its best, the list of the world's most stylish children is something of a ludicrous misnomer, perhaps more accurately named the 'richest children list', the 'probably-quite-spoilt children' list, the 'children most likely to be styled'. Or simply, a list of children who happen to have been born to very famous parents.
At its worst, the tally is a terrifying indictment of how fame and money at a young age somehow translate to natural talent and style instinct in the adult world.
See the full list in our gallery. What do you think of this top 10, and other lists like it? Have your say in the comments below.