It's not always easy pleasing all the family at Christmas.
The holiday season can be a magical time of year with its many traditions, religious festivals such as Hanukkah and Christmas, and family gatherings. As our thoughts turn to turkey, parties and decorations, one group of families faces double helpings of stress.
For stepfamilies and blended families, Christmas can often bring a mixed bag of complications as they juggle ex-spouses, multiple sets of grandparents, joint custody arrangements and children with divided loyalties.
For these families holidays can be complicated and conflict-ridden. Sometimes, just the sheer number of people involved turns holiday gatherings into logistical hurdles, as they in turn influence each other’s plans and don’t always share the same priorities.
"There’s a lot to consider," says Steve Martin, Executive Officer of Stepfamilies Australia, "from who spends Christmas Eve at which home, to coordinating schedules and dinner plans. Atop all that juggling there are financial considerations, not to mention the emotional upheaval."
There is undoubtedly a lot to take into account during Christmas for a stepfamily, but it’s not all bad news. With a little proactive planning and forethought many of the difficulties can be avoided.
Stepfamilies Australia recommends the following ten tips:
- Plan ahead – discuss upcoming holiday events and coordinate schedules;
- Set a budget and try to stick to it, don’t buy out of guilt and avoid overspending;
- Set realistic expectations and compromise, accept the fact that you won’t please everyone;
- Establish what works for you and your partner;
Keep things simple; - Be aware of loyalty and loss – consider what the children are going through at this emotionally
loaded time of year; - Talk plans over as a family;
Create new traditions with your step and blended family; - Be flexible and negotiate;
And finally… remember it’s the festive season – relax and enjoy!
This article supplied by Step Families Australia. Chat with other parents from step and blended families in our Parents' Room forums.
