Essential Baby blogger Joseph Kelly
I've always found kids parties a bit of a minefield. What to bring, how to dress the kids, what sort of present to get are all issues to negotiate even before getting to the party. But the big question I've yet to find an answer to is: if one of the kids is invited to a party, can I bring their sibling?
A few weeks ago Frances was invited to the third birthday party of Heather, a girl she goes to kinder with. Before Maisie started school she went to the same kinder and knows Heather as well. In fact, Heather has one of those crushes on Maisie that little girls have for bigger girls. So when the day of the party came I didn't think twice about putting both of the girls into their fairy dresses (I let the girls decide what they were going to wear) and leading them on a short stroll around the block to Heather's house.
Because I treat the kinder pick-up as a sort of military extraction, with me playing the role of Rambo freeing his fallen buddies from a jungle prison, I've never hung around kinder long enough to meet Heather's parents. So as soon as we arrived I introduced myself as the proud father of both Maisie and Frances.
"How nice to meet you" said Heather's mum Pam. "And it's just great that you brought Maisie. Heather will be so happy. That's just great. Wow, Maisie's here as well. That's just great!"
Three "greats" in the one reply wasn't a terrific sign. Pam had made me so conscious that Maisie was an uninvited guest that I spent the whole party making sure that she didn't do anything that drew attention and didn't eat more than a fair portion of food. I also made sure Maisie stayed off the jumping castle, just in case there was an awkward moment where six-year-old Maisie crushed some three-year-old party goer and I would have to confront the "what was she doing here in the first place" question.
As we were leaving Pam gave Frances a lolly bag with her name written in studied calligraphy on a cardboard tag. She then handed Maisie a non-customised lolly bag while again telling me how great it was that Maisie came and how lucky it was that she had made spare lolly bags. I left the party thinking that if Pat was uptight now, her head will probably explode by the time Heather turns eighteen.
Once I got home I studied the invitation. It was clearly addressed to Frances with no mention of Maisie. This may sound like a double standard, but I know that if Maisie is invited to a party it is implied that Frances isn't to come along. This is because older kids don't always like to share their time and space with younger kids, and when parents prepare a party just for six or seven year-olds they may not give any thought to how younger kids will be entertained. But, I had reasoned, the rules were different the other way around. If a six-year-old is happy to condescend to attend a three-year-old's party, then the motto "the more the merrier" applies... doesn't it?
What is the etiquette involved in bringing siblings to birthday bashes? Is it all-for-one or one-unless-otherwise-stated-in-the-fine-print-of-the-invitation?
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