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Embarrassing! Nipple shut in drawer
Who does that???

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#26 Flaxen

Posted 03 August 2012 - 11:55 AM

Not me, but my aunt had a lot of trouble with her 2yo DD, after DD discovered that she could induce a strong reaction from my aunt by giving her a nipple cripple.

At school for her DS prep presentation of some sort, while standing infront of the class, DD was feeling unattended while being held on her hip and let my aunt have it. Aunt dispensed expletives, and couldnt get over the embarrassment.

#27 ComradeBob

Posted 03 August 2012 - 11:55 AM

Not (obviously) one of mine, but many years ago a male friend of mine managed to iron his penis. I understand it hurt like no man's business.

And it was around the time that Levi's introduced staypressd jeans, so he got comments about his staypressd d*ck for a long, long time laugh.gif

#28 MotherClucker

Posted 03 August 2012 - 11:57 AM

Not once, but TWICE, I have nurpled myself with the can opener... I only buy pull tabs now.

#29 ZombieFerretOfDoom

Posted 03 August 2012 - 12:00 PM

I was once sitting down with my arms crossed against my belly, and one of my pet ferretsclimbed up onto my chest, as she did from time to time for snuggles.

Except this time, for reasons unknown, she bit me on the nipple.

She was sitting on my arms at the time, and my immediate reaction was to jerk and fling my arms out.

After flying across the room and hitting the wall, she landed, jumped back up, did a war dance and came at me again, thinking it was a game.

She was banished to a cage for some time after that.

#30 wallofdodo

Posted 03 August 2012 - 12:09 PM

Ferret wrestler!

#31 Sockergris

Posted 03 August 2012 - 12:16 PM

QUOTE (WooBob! @ 03/08/2012, 11:55 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Not (obviously) one of mine, but many years ago a male friend of mine managed to iron his penis. I understand it hurt like no man's business.

I'm loving this thread!
One of my male colleagues came to work with a large, red, V shaped  mark on this chin.  He sheepishly explained that he had ironed his tie.   Whilst wearing it!

#32 hotsonfornowhere

Posted 03 August 2012 - 02:36 PM

My first one is from when I was a baby...

Apparently I could climb out of my cot from quite a young age and one day managed to 'catch' my clitoris somehow on a loose screw on the side of the cot. Mum says that I almost gave myself a clitorectomy!

It all seems to be in perfect working order now at least ph34r.gif

I have also managed to cut my nipple somehow with the razor while shaving my legs! It hurt so much and bled enough that I had to put a bandaid on it - which wasn't pleasant either....

#33 pixiesticks

Posted 03 August 2012 - 07:18 PM

These are so funny!

These are so funny!

#34 whydoibother

Posted 03 August 2012 - 07:19 PM

omg at the clit one ohmy.gif

#35 FeralGiggelosaurus

Posted 03 August 2012 - 07:35 PM

So so so funny.............

#36 *molly*

Posted 03 August 2012 - 07:48 PM

OMG I'm crying real tears with laughter - these are so funny and so  ohmy.gif

#37 Jessley2

Posted 03 August 2012 - 08:51 PM

Like PP I once sliced my nipple with a razor whilst shaving my legs. Fresh twin blade razor of DH's, stood up and somehow razor sliced straight up over lower half of breast and right through centre of my nipple.
So much blood.
After trying to tend to it after showering, thought I would send DH a photo to visually explain why I wasn't ready for dinner.
He was picking up his Mum who was babysitting our kids while we were out at said dinner.
His Mum viewed msg as DH was driving and saw a little more than she should have as I'd taken pic at the mirror thinking it was for his eyes only.
Thankfully she is a lovely woman with a sense of humour.
Could have done without her asking to check to make sure it was ok once they arrived home though  original.gif

#38 nikki44

Posted 03 August 2012 - 09:07 PM

OMG I am quite literally p*ssing myself laughing! Haven't had such a good laugh in ages. Thanks! roll2.gif

#39 Lulu Pumpkin

Posted 03 August 2012 - 09:11 PM

No injury but a good sense of almost instant karma.....

Was out with DS and for the 2nd day in a row he had wet his pants instead of going to the toilet. Even after I kept asking him if he wanted to go. So in the toilet at the shopping centre he got a mini lecture from me....DS is this is two days in a row now, look wet through, now we have to go home, get you changed and come back AGAIN.

So go home and come back, finish what we had to do and it was my turn to go to the toilet. I take a multivitamin that turns my wee a bright yellow and there was some um well little bit on my pants....cue mini lecture from DS with EXACTLY the words and same tone of voice I had used and I knew that there were people in the other toilets....

I never said a word.

#40 3_for_me

Posted 03 August 2012 - 09:24 PM

When I was early teens I was out skiing and somehow got my stock caught, it did an entire 180 and ended up smashing me right in the groin with the pointy end.  

At the age of about 12 I was of course mortified, went and checked to make sure I wasn't seriously injured and then never told a soul. ninja.gif

#41 Sancti-claws

Posted 03 August 2012 - 09:33 PM

Oh my goodness - when I read the title in the sidebar, my immediate thought was "I wonder what happened to her circumspect one?"

My only advice is beautiful spicy dinner with new boyfriend + frisky pre-bed action doesn't always end in tingling nerves of the good kind... chilli juice stays around and can be very - ummmm - sensational.

#42 F.E.B.E

Posted 03 August 2012 - 10:33 PM

Never insert a tampon after chopping chilllies  nno2.gif

#43 PinkSurvivor

Posted 03 August 2012 - 10:50 PM

My Aunt did extended breastfeeding with her daughter but the daughter never understood it was just a "mother and daughter' activity. It really creeped me out as a young teen (16) having this 3 year old oggle my boobs and try to fondle me constantly so I never visited much, she was this way with any close female. We did how ever all go out to dinner with the extended family one evening for a special occasion.

My niece went over to my very prudish/old fashioned Grandmother and stuck her hand down her top to "get a drink" roll2.gif My Grandma was so mortified as was everyone else at the table and dinner was short lived.

#44 mitchp

Posted 04 August 2012 - 07:44 PM

Thanks all for sharing, you've made my week original.gif

#45 ~Delilah~

Posted 03 September 2012 - 11:29 PM

This thread needs a warning - empty bladder before proceeding.

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