Posted 14 August 2012 - 10:21 AM
Tough one! But kids are pretty cluey about what is going on around them - even if they don't have all the skills to deal with the changes!
Surely the pregnancy and the fact that her brother is getting more time with your Mum would be enough (I believe) to cause some adjustment issues.
Add to that the attention (needed of course) given to your son with his other problems and there are some pretty good triggers for acting out.
I would talk to her teacher and maybe get her along to speak to the counsellor - for nothing else than for her to vent any problem she may be having but can't feel she can say anything at home...
Maybe schedule some one on one time with her - hard I know when there is so much going on!
I would also - as hard as it can be - ignore the bad behaviour - clean up the mess - give the wall a wash and the over praise other stuff that she is doing right! It will take a little while but with consistency she will see that bad behaviour is not getting her any behaviour at all and she may start to do the right thing more often to reap your praise!
It sounds like classic regression behaviour to gain some (ANY) kind of attention from you. Anger is attention and although not the best kind, maybe the only kid she feels she can garner from you right now...
it's a hard slog....