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wdyt of cheap parties


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#1 Sal78

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:08 AM

ds was invited to a b'day party recently which was a bit unusual, in a good/bad way.

He invited the whole class and it was held at their house.The house is nice with a nice sized yard. But it was weird. There was not even 1 single game, no structure at all and the all the kids basically ran around crazy doing whatever they wanted.

She put out a bowl of potato chips, some fair bread and sausage rolls. 2 Jugs of cordial and that was it. Home made chocolate slab cake with chocolate icing in a rectangle and cut very small pieces.

A part of me think it's great, cheap and stress free but the other part of me thinks very cheeky and cheap as it's a private school and parents spend around $30 to $50 per present (just from experience).

I honestly could not see the party costing more than $50.

Nothing was really offered to the parents. I didn't drink or eat anything. We bought a $40 lego present. It's very different to any party I have been to. I know some mums will think if it's going ti be so cheap then why invite the whole class.  

Such a massive contrast to my ds1's party coming up this Sat. DH has done so much work, gone all out. I have catering for kids and adults, I'm baking a themed cake, the party favours is probably costing about $10 per child alone! but ds is only allowed to invite 10 friends. dh even made food labels i.e Yoda's Soda and Jedi Juice with labels covering each pack of juice.

Maybe I should have done what she did! honestly, for that party, she wouldn't have to plan anything, just get the food ready 20mins before the party and that's it! no games and the kids still had fun.

Edited by Sal78, 29 August 2012 - 01:11 AM.


#2 3_for_me

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:13 AM

Quite frankly you sound like a total snob!

I hate over done parties, so much work for everyone.  The parties that I have done were everyone has commented about how much they enjoyed themselves were the easy, relaxed ones without lots of random games, etc.

#3 protart roflcoptor

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:15 AM

I think the last 5 words in your OP sum it up nicely.

Who's silly then? And who is trying to impress who?



#4 Sal78

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:23 AM

hmmm it's just weird. It's almost like just a play date and I probably put out a bigger spread than that.

Is that really snobby? I don't think I am a snob. Maybe just a lot more hospitable!! I know most of the mums are coming along and I want to offer drinks and food for everyone.

anyway, it's very unusual compared to other parties and it has nothing to do with private v public...been to many parties and this was definitely very very cheap.

when ppl invite a whole class, you automatically think wow so generous and must be a lot of work!

we invited the whole class for ds's b'day last year and did a mini golf, face painting and pizza delivery for everyone inc the parents...it was easy but not cheap.

#5 Fright bat

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:26 AM

Kids don't care about the crap you describe. Sounds like a lovely old fashioned party to me.

I also disn't realize you were meant to 'get something' for your present. I thought a birthday present was a caring item chosen by the child for a friend as a gesture of goodwill and affection on their birthday.

#6 Sal78

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:26 AM

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 29/08/2012, 02:15 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I think the last 5 words in your OP sum it up nicely.

Who's silly then? And who is trying to impress who?



but u know the kids will have fun regardless. if that's the case i can invite the whole class just for a play date at mine...doesn't even have to be a birthday. but presents from 20+ kids for a $50 investment is cheeky/clever. If I had known I probably would have budgeted $20 for present...I don't usually budget as I just buy what the child likes but if I had known I would have in this case.

and isn't it natural when people put in more effort, you tend to appreciate more? what's wrong with that? I am so glad dh is really putting in the effort for ds's party rather than doing nothing. A bit too much to describe it as 'crap'? I know my ds definitely appreciates the effort!

most dad's i've seen are in charge of games.


Edited by Sal78, 29 August 2012 - 01:34 AM.


#7 GenWhy

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:29 AM

You can't be serious? I wouldn't want my kid going to your party quite frankly. It sounds contrived. Are you a member of the competitive mother's club? Is the party just for your child to get expensive gifts? How dare that other child get an expensive gift for such a CHEAP party. How does she live with herself? Poor people should clearly be excluded from private schools and their children should get a $5 scratchie.

#8 Fright bat

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:29 AM

QUOTE (Sal78 @ 29/08/2012, 01:23 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Is that really snobby? I don't think I am a snob. Maybe just a lot more hospitable!! I know most of the mums are coming along and I want to offer drinks and food for everyone.

when ppl invite a whole class, you automatically think wow so generous and must be a lot of work!

we invited the whole class for ds's b'day last year and did a mini golf, face painting and pizza delivery for everyone inc the parents...it was easy but not cheap.


Yes it's snobby. The worst kind of snobbery is when you don't notice it.

It's still generous to invite the class.

Your daughters party sounds lovely but is hardly necessary. And you don't need mini golf to be hospitable.

#9 Fright bat

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:34 AM

QUOTE (Sal78 @ 29/08/2012, 01:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
but u know the kids will have fun regardless. if that's the case i can invite the whole class just for a play date at mine...doesn't even have to be a birthday. but presents from 20+ kids for a $50 investment is cheeky/clever. If I had known I probably would have budgeted $20 for present...I don't usually budget as I just buy what the child likes but if I had known I would have in this case.

and isn't it natural when people put in more effort, you tend to appreciate more? what's wrong with that? I am so glad dh is really putting in the effort for ds's party rather than doing nothing.

most dad's i've seen are in charge of games.



Are you a troll? Because you can't be real.

No I don't appreciate effort more. What on earth sort of values are you teaching your kids? I doubt they invited the class for the presents. Personally I hate presents. More Lego to clutter up the house. I wish no one brought them. There should be no link between the 'quality' or 'effort' of the party and the presents.

Besides, games for 25 kids is daft.

#10 GenWhy

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:35 AM

Oh and just to point something out to you - the party is for the children to enjoy. Not for the parents. I don't remember having to provide food and drinks for the parents ever. Now I would be calling THAT cheeky. How old are the kids? Surely they can be dropped off with Mum, Dad and siblings not hanging around expecting to be waited on hand and foot.

FWIW all the parties my children have gone to recently have been homemade cake, hide and seek or playing chasey and if the whole class has been invited I expect this. I wouldn't be expecting a huge expensive party. I have better things to spend my time and money on than trying to outdo and impress other parents.

#11 Le-a

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:36 AM

Yes, it's snobby and w**ky, and quite frankly RUDE of you to judge a frigging kids birthday party based on how much cash you estimate the parents have spent on it.

You said the kids had a great time? Perhaps keep that at the forefront of your mind, and next time don't bother "going all out" yourself.

I hope to god there are no parents like you in my DS's class when he gets to school age.

#12 ~Nodnol~

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:41 AM

QUOTE (Sal78 @ 29/08/2012, 01:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
ds was invited to a b'day party recently which was a bit unusual, in a good/bad way.

He invited the whole class and it was held at their house.The house is nice with a nice sized yard. But it was weird. There was not even 1 single game, no structure at all and the all the kids basically ran around crazy doing whatever they wanted.

She put out a bowl of potato chips, some fair bread and sausage rolls. 2 Jugs of cordial and that was it. Home made chocolate slab cake with chocolate icing in a rectangle and cut very small pieces.

A part of me think it's great, cheap and stress free but the other part of me thinks very cheeky and cheap as it's a private school and parents spend around $30 to $50 per present (just from experience).

I honestly could not see the party costing more than $50.

Nothing was really offered to the parents. I didn't drink or eat anything. We bought a $40 lego present. It's very different to any party I have been to. I know some mums will think if it's going ti be so cheap then why invite the whole class.  

Such a massive contrast to my ds1's party coming up this Sat. DH has done so much work, gone all out. I have catering for kids and adults, I'm baking a themed cake, the party favours is probably costing about $10 per child alone! but ds is only allowed to invite 10 friends. dh even made food labels i.e Yoda's Soda and Jedi Juice with labels covering each pack of juice.

Maybe I should have done what she did! honestly, for that party, she wouldn't have to plan anything, just get the food ready 20mins before the party and that's it! no games and the kids still had fun.


So all the kids had a great time playing together and then had something to eat? What's the problem?

Maybe she is a nice parent that didn't want anyone to miss out but couldn't afford to go all out? Maybe she doesn't think impressing a bunch of stuck up snobby other parents is important?


#13 Sal78

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:41 AM

QUOTE (MsN @ 29/08/2012, 02:26 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I also disn't realize you were meant to 'get something' for your present. I thought a birthday present was a caring item chosen by the child for a friend as a gesture of goodwill and affection on their birthday.


That's not the point. If ds's invited to a party but we can't make it, I still buy a present. ds wants to give a present..he's very sweet. I don't know what the point is anymore....I just felt like there was hardly any effort, not a single decoration, balloons etc sure kids had fun but if you ask them to compare what will they say?

next time i will just do drop off and pick up then i wouldn't have any judgements.

#14 protart roflcoptor

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:43 AM

QUOTE (Sal78 @ 29/08/2012, 01:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
next time i will just do drop off and pick up then i wouldn't have any judgements.


I'm sure that will be appreciated by everyone.



#15 GenWhy

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:45 AM

QUOTE (Sal78 @ 28/08/2012, 11:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's not the point. If ds's invited to a party but we can't make it, I still buy a present. ds wants to give a present..he's very sweet. I don't know what the point is anymore....I just felt like there was hardly any effort, not a single decoration, balloons etc sure kids had fun but if you ask them to compare what will they say?

next time i will just do drop off and pick up then i wouldn't have any judgements.


That may be something YOU choose to do but I have never heard of people doing it. Unless it is a family member anyway. I'd say having a whole class of kids in your yard, cooking some sausage rolls and a cake and then supervising is a decent amount of effort. Is there a party rule book I am unaware of that states you must have balloons, a themed party cake and hire a circus?

#16 ~Nodnol~

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:45 AM

You'd be surprised what kids find entertaining.

I'm willing to bet that there is at least one kid from the class that is so thrilled they got invited to a freaking party, any party- and the lack of balloons was the last thing on their minds. She included everyone, didn't worry about stupid appearances but gave her kid and others a fun time.

#17 GenWhy

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:45 AM

QUOTE (ossim roflcopter @ 28/08/2012, 11:43 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm sure that will be appreciated by everyone.



I just spat coffee on my keyboard  roll2.gif

#18 Fright bat

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:46 AM

QUOTE (Sal78 @ 29/08/2012, 01:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That's not the point. If ds's invited to a party but we can't make it, I still buy a present. ds wants to give a present..he's very sweet. I don't know what the point is anymore....I just felt like there was hardly any effort, not a single decoration, balloons etc sure kids had fun but if you ask them to compare what will they say?

next time i will just do drop off and pick up then i wouldn't have any judgements.


Why on earth would you ask your kids to compare? Why would you be actively teaching them to live their lives by other peoples standards.

And why do you need to avoid the situation to avoid being judgemental? You could be a mature adult, attend, and not judge?

#19 GenWhy

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:48 AM

If it weren't for your post count I'd seriously think you were a troll. OP I really mean this.... I think you need to step back and see the wood for the trees. Maybe have a really hard think about whether your priorities are in order. I'm genuinely concerned that you can't understand why the rest of us think you're way off base.

#20 Sal78

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:56 AM

QUOTE (~Nodnol~ @ 29/08/2012, 02:41 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
So all the kids had a great time playing together and then had something to eat? What's the problem?

Maybe she is a nice parent that didn't want anyone to miss out but couldn't afford to go all out? Maybe she doesn't think impressing a bunch of stuck up snobby other parents is important?


Hmm I don't know her that well but yeah she can definitely afford a little more and she can definitely afford to go all out if she wanted to. But for the effort, she could have arranged for the kids to play soccer, 1 or 2 games, some simple decoration...so it looks like a party.

I don't know, I guess I just wanted to see what ppl thought....as expected...a couple of mums at the party did mention it but obviously in a very polite way! The fact and truth is that it is still a very cheap party. Dh asked me how it was and I just said the truth. But it's still a party, kids had fun.. I guess some ppl are just more generous than others, some ppl care a little to make a bit more of an effort.

I know drops offs and pick ups are normal as kids get older...look forward to it in the years ahead..kids alone are so easy to please. This week, I think all the parents are coming along. I don't mind really either way.

Ds wanted a themed party so thats what we are doing but in the future if he just wanted friends over for a play, simple affair, not many mums hanging around then I am more than happy to do a simple party... but knowing me, I will probably throw in a few games for some structure!

that's why i had mixed feelings...I'm glad she threw a simple and cheap party! other mums probably thought the same too...but like I said it was cheap and that's just the truth.

#21 Sal78

Posted 29 August 2012 - 01:59 AM

QUOTE (MsN @ 29/08/2012, 02:46 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Why on earth would you ask your kids to compare? Why would you be actively teaching them to live their lives by other peoples standards.

And why do you need to avoid the situation to avoid being judgemental? You could be a mature adult, attend, and not judge?


of course i would never ask my kids to compare..i'm just saying hypothetically if they were then the answer would be obvious..and ds has said before after going to a party that it was the best party ever and i asked what about all the others and he said they were all good but that was the best...it was because he was into ben 10 at the time and it was a ben 10 themed party



#22 Sal78

Posted 29 August 2012 - 02:11 AM

QUOTE (GenWhy @ 29/08/2012, 02:45 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
That may be something YOU choose to do but I have never heard of people doing it. Unless it is a family member anyway. I'd say having a whole class of kids in your yard, cooking some sausage rolls and a cake and then supervising is a decent amount of effort. Is there a party rule book I am unaware of that states you must have balloons, a themed party cake and hire a circus?


hmmm not much supervising at all..kids were everywhere. Mum and dad chat to parents and brought out some food.

Is this normal for 7 years old? maybe because she does have an older child too and it's the norm as kids get older? I think I'm still in the younger kids part mindset, themes, decorations and games etc

I definitely agree with everybody.....I can see both sides. That's why I said that I can appreciate mums that went through a lot of effort and expenses and I can also appreciate a cheap and simple party but of course I do appreciate the one who made more effort....and not saying that that's what you have to do!



#23 bluesurrender

Posted 29 August 2012 - 02:45 AM

QUOTE (Sal78 @ 28/08/2012, 11:41 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
...sure kids had fun but if you ask them to compare what will they say? ...

Why would you ask them to compare? I think that's horrible!

I had a few parties at home with my whole class (approx 25 children too) but adults, children and younger siblings were always catered for food and drink-wise and we always had a few games to play (like 'Simon Says' and 'Musical Chairs'). We'd often have about 55 people over (some parents and a couple of siblings).

I admit that I think it seems like the party was a little basic but the children evidently didn't care and that is what is important! I think you seem a bit unhappy with the fact that someone is able to produce just the same amount of joy and fun for the kids with a basic party as you are with a more expensive one.

#24 Jacki:)

Posted 29 August 2012 - 05:59 AM

?

Maybe she is a nice parent that didn't want anyone to miss out but couldn't afford to go all out? Maybe she doesn't think impressing a bunch of stuck up snobby other parents is important?
[/quote]

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[quote name='Sal78' date='29/08/2012, 01:56 AM' post='14867625']
Hmm I don't know her that well but yeah she can definitely afford a little more and she can definitely afford to go all out if she wanted to. But for the effort, she could have arranged for the kids to play soccer, 1 or 2 games, some simple decoration...so it looks like a party.

How do you know?? Do YOU have her bank statements?? do YOU pay her bills?? maybe thats all she could afford ATM (bills (espically electricity, school fees) she could have rego etc... (my daughters bday is in Feb and most yrs I get caught out on bills and rego (as they rise ) and those years she has a "cheaper party")

#25 HRH Countrymel

Posted 29 August 2012 - 06:20 AM

You say she has an older child too?

I would imagine that experience has taught her that running around like mad things with a bit of fun food and a cake is what children prefer.

My friend sends her children to an expensive private school too - they live on a large property with shiny new cars, dresses expensively et. al. - they 'could' afford a whoop-de-do 'event' but luckily that kind of party culture hasn't taken hold at her children's school as yet.

Her son's party this year ended up with the kids playing a game they invented themselves... My friend (a teacher who has studied child psychology etc) did have some games etc planned but realised that interrupting the kids to make them do her idea of fun, when they were so obviously having fun already was pretty silly.






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