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Circumcision.... Yes I know!


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#1 Nofliesonme

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:37 PM

Ok so I have DS1 who was circumcised at 1 week old and I will never ever forgive myself for taking him to be circumcised. After that day I have never looked at circumcision the same way. Any way we fast forward and DS2 was booked in by DP to be done but I won the battle and convinced him to not do it...... Thankfully.

I am looking for people who have circumcised 1 of their sons and not the other. Surely there are some? Wanting advice on what to say one day when the time comes that I am asked why? When DS1 asks why am i different to my brother and vice versa....or why dot I look like daddy??

This is not a debate about should I or shouldn't I or pros and cons. So please leave that out of this

#2 threelittlegems

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:42 PM

OP,

DS1 was circumcised for medical reasons - his whole urinary system was stuffed up and he was one of that 10% were circumcision made all the difference in preventing recurring utis. He is now 10.

DS2 has not been circumcised and he is aged 3.5.

To be honest, it's a non issue for us. DS1 noticed at school that he was different, as most kids are not circumcised, and he understands why he was circumised and looks different.

I'm not sure if DS2 has noticed yet - he hasn't said anything anyway.


#3 FiveAus

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:44 PM

My eldest son was circumcised at the age of 6 due to adhesions. His 15 month younger brother was never done. They are 28 and 27 now and I can quite honestly say that not for one single second of their lives has it been an issue.

#4 Cat People

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:47 PM

I'm not in this situation but I know someone who was.  She told her sons she did what she thought was right at the time but then with further research, and medical opinion changing, she realized it wasn't necessary.  

Not quite the same, but it's similar to how we all started solids at 6 weeks and didn't have car seats.   Medical opinion/guidelines change all the time.  You could even say it was medically advised at the time but then guidelines changed, or you researched it further and didn't see as necessary.



#5 Cat People

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:50 PM

Also agree with pp, it may never come up.  ds is nearly 6 and hasn't said anything about being different to his dad.

#6 FiveAus

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:51 PM

Honestly, my boys never asked.

#7 Tesseract

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:54 PM

I don't have sons, but this situation occured in my family. Two boys, close in age, first circumcised and the second intact. When they were little and asked the answer was "everyone is different" (kids are extremely accepting of answers adults give). When they were older the answer was "you were circumcised because that's what was done at the time, then when your brother came it was no longer seen as necessary" - again the kids accepted this. Complete non-issue.

#8 Quack Quack

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:54 PM

I have 3 sons, 18, 17 & 6

My 18 year old is Circd, and my 6 year old is circed. Was a complete non-issue.  Yes, I was in the room across the hall and not one squeak was heard from either of them.

My 17 year old is not circd. he was born 8 weeks prem, and obviously was too small to be done, by the time he was 6 months old he was having apnea episodes in his sleep so it was recommended not to have a general anasthetic to have it done then.

Funnily enough, in my house it is the one who isn't done who is upset that he doesn't look like the others.  He is the one who makes the odd comment about not having it done, and wishing he could do it now.  My 18 year old, when I actually asked him if he was upset that we had circed him... said " No way! I'm glad you did it"

This is a very personal issue, not only for my family but for all others as well and I hope you get the answers you are looking for!


#9 unicorn

Posted 07 December 2012 - 12:57 PM

Neither of my boys have been done, their father has been. DH's 3 boys were all intact until about 12 months ago and the youngest had to get done at 13 years. He doesn't take issue with being different to his brothers.
And honestly, what similarities are there between an adult male penis and that of a young child? There are so many differences between them that a foreskin probably isn't going even register.

#10 Soontobegran

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:01 PM

They most likely will never question it.
My DH is done and our son isn't. Our son's best little buddy at preschool was done for medical reasons and DS has never asked a question about it even though they bathed and swam naked together. He is now 25 and he only just now realises his dad is done...it's a non issue and if by chance there are questions then until they are old enough to understand then you can just say that some little boys have brown hair and some have blonde.There is no need to go into the technicalities until they are old enough to understand that we society evolves and we learn as we go.

#11 Soontobegran

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:04 PM

QUOTE (5*little*ducks @ 07/12/2012, 01:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Was a complete non-issue.  Yes, I was in the room across the hall and not one squeak was heard from either of them.



Sorry but this is not meant to be a thread that is for justifying the decision to circ sad.gif

#12 BetteBoop

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:04 PM

What about a simple "everyone looks different"?

Girls have very different looking bits and it doesn't seem to be an issue. And some men naturally don't have much of a foreskin. I wouldn't make a big issue out of it.

#13 Excentrique Feral

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:07 PM

My DH is the oldest of 4 boys, and the only one circumsized. MIL told them all the truth. DH screamed for a week straight and she refused to do it again.

Its a non-issue.

#14 LB_K

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:07 PM

My partner had it done, and he is one of 9 children (6 boys). His mum has told me not all the boys are done: my partner doesn't even know which.. He has no idea. Is it normal for little brothers to get their bits out and scrutinise them and compare them? Lol

People get so caught up on the 'he will be different from dad/brother'... who in the world is comparing these things?! It is likely that even if they both were done, the size/shape/colour would be totally different too. Who cares?

If you are worried about how they are going to cope with a slight difference in their pants... how are you going to expect them to cope with differences in academics or sports or height or weight or just life in general? I wouldn't worry so much if I were you.

Edited by ladybear.kacie, 07 December 2012 - 01:10 PM.


#15 **Xena**

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:37 PM

My boys have never even realised that their penises look different to their fathers.

Don't feel to bad about making an uneducated parenting decision. I only rear-faced DS#1 for 6 months and I regret that. I just didn't know any better at the time.

#16 Nofliesonme

Posted 07 December 2012 - 01:57 PM

Thanks for the replies. I am glad to hear that it's mostly a non issue. Thats what I'm hoping for anyway. Thanks for the replies. original.gif

#17 EsmeLennox

Posted 07 December 2012 - 02:31 PM

It's a non-issue. DS1 was done for medical reasons at 6 years of age. The only reaction from his brothers was jealousy because he could now wee with sheer force and outside pee for a good couple of meters! Lol



#18 4kidlets

Posted 07 December 2012 - 03:13 PM

QUOTE
If you are worried about how they are going to cope with a slight difference in their pants... how are you going to expect them to cope with differences in academics or sports or height or weight or just life in general? I wouldn't worry so much if I were you



I think you are missing the point - OP's question isnt about explaining natural differences like why one has blue eyes and one has brown eyes or one has more sporting ability - but about why parents made a different decision for each child.


I havent got this issue as I only have one son - but I think I'd go with a simplfied version of the truth - we decided it wasnt neccesary after all so we didnt have it done the next time.

#19 FiveAus

Posted 07 December 2012 - 05:26 PM

Well, the son of mine who wasn't circumcised has a whacking great scar from breastbone to spine, due to kidney surgery and they've never asked why he had it and the other didn't. Both very fascinated with the scar when it was fresh and new though.

#20 Nofliesonme

Posted 07 December 2012 - 06:15 PM

I would like to say that it was the wise world of EB that topped off my decision. More so a clip STBG posted in a thread. Does anyone have that link so I can show hubby why I was against it. It was one of the better videos

#21 123tree

Posted 07 December 2012 - 07:55 PM

QUOTE (unicorn @ 07/12/2012, 01:57 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
And honestly, what similarities are there between an adult male penis and that of a young child? There are so many differences between them that a foreskin probably isn't going even register.



This.

I have aways found the argument "must look like his dad" so bizarre.

#22 Feral_Pooks

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:01 PM

My DP was done, his brother wasn't. His mum just says that she did the first son because she was told "that's what you do, it's better" and by the time she had the second son, she was advised it wasn't better after all so she didn't see the point.

#23 Feral_Pooks

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:05 PM

Dp

Edited by Pooks_, 07 December 2012 - 08:14 PM.


#24 lamarque

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:09 PM

DS 9 has never asked why he doesn't look like his Dad.

#25 Leee

Posted 07 December 2012 - 08:33 PM

Great that it seems not an issue for most. My DS2 was done 2 weeks ago at 11 months due to hypospadias. DS1 is not done. DS1 knows but mainly because he is 5 and DS2 had to go to hospital, he wants his skin cut off he says (no way).

I will just explain that DS2 was done due to medical reasons but usually it is not needed.




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