Coat everything in teflon - even the dog.
Life is about to get gaggingly messy
Embrace your inner wanton-hussy and seduce your husband. Our children are collectively known as coitus interruptus for a reason.
Revel in the peace as you visit the bathroom alone. Don't snigger.
I haven't had a peaceful movement in eight years
These last two items reference the notorious "bum switch" that triggers baby wailing, children fighting/vomiting/shoving things up their noses, the very moment your derriere hits a flat surface.
ETA - Enjoy the freedom of nicking off with just some $ shoved in your back pocket.
When baby comes, a quick pop to the shops becomes a expedition of six-months-to nepal proportions. Actually a sherpa is a very good idea.
Edited by gettheetoanunnery, 14 December 2012 - 03:59 PM.