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#1 OneProudMum

Posted 29 December 2012 - 10:13 PM

For those of you who have not watched the show this is a brief run down.
You swap lives with another wife for a week. For the first half you have to live by their rules. For the second half you get to set rules that must be followed by the entire family.

1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?

4. What are the flaws or difficulties in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?

5. What are the positive "things" that the other wife is likely to acknowledge about your family?

Have fun original.gif

Edited by OneProudMum, 29 December 2012 - 10:58 PM.


#2 baddmammajamma

Posted 29 December 2012 - 10:25 PM

As you keep expanding the questions, I keep editing! original.gif

1) Nightmare would be learning that I am swapping with Margaret Abbott or Ann Romney -- and that I am left with an uber-conservative (temporary) spouse who holds a lot of views that offend me to my core. I really don't think I could rise to the challenge.

2) I think it would be enlightening for me to do a swap with a rurally-based family, particularly with a family who "works the land." I have only lived in major cities/suburbs of major cities, and all of my jobs as an adult have been desk-based/professional services. (ETA: Cezanne's answer is very intriguing)

3) My ground rules would be (1) "All family members should be treated with respect." I wouldn't be able to deal with a temporary partner who disrespected me or the kids, nor could I handle kids who have zero respect for adults and (2) "Let's have some fun." Regardless of family situation, I'd want to smile and laugh at least a portion of each day.

4) I don't consider these to be "flaws" with my family, but these are things that might make a swap with our family difficult for some women:  (1) I could imagine that some would find it tough to (temporarily) parent a child with special needs (2) any woman who needs a lot of positive reinforcement/verbal praise from a partner in order to feel validated/appreciated would be up Shit Creek without a paddle because my husband just doesn't dish it out (though he is a lovely guy).

5) So many pluses! original.gif We are a very laid back, down-to-earth family, and our house is a place where people like to gather.  All of us have very good senses of humor, and we are genuinely good, honest people who care about others. My husband and I have a very equal partnership, and he would treat any temporary spouse with respect. Oh yeah, and we have every cable channel under the sun, great food & a well stocked wine closet. original.gif

Edited by baddmammajamma, 29 December 2012 - 11:00 PM.


#3 cezanne

Posted 29 December 2012 - 10:29 PM

1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?
A family that is intolerant of diversity - can't stand views that are insular/ill-informed/prejudiced etc etc

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?
I guess I have always found it difficult to relate to families that place high expectation on appearance, possessions and the outward facade. I'm sure i could learn more about why people have such values IF they aren't interested in the values of others. Not saying I would necessarily share their views, but I'm sure I would learn something!

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?
Acceptance, love, respect... for everyone in the family group.

I always wonder about those shows - it just illustrates how different we all are!

Edited by cezanne, 29 December 2012 - 10:32 PM.


#4 OneProudMum

Posted 29 December 2012 - 10:36 PM

Sorry guys I just didn't want to offend anyone and start an all in brawl!

Will reinstate my post in the morning. original.gif

#5 Azadel

Posted 29 December 2012 - 10:39 PM

QUOTE (OneProudMum @ 29/12/2012, 11:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Sorry guys I just didn't want to offend anyone and start an all in brawl!

Will reinstate my post in the morning. original.gif


I would really like to reply original.gif

#6 OneProudMum

Posted 29 December 2012 - 10:42 PM

Done! original.gif Fire away! I added another 2 questions for good measure!

Edited by OneProudMum, 29 December 2012 - 10:47 PM.


#7 Gumbette

Posted 29 December 2012 - 10:51 PM


1. Worst nightmare would be with a family who loved to hunt and killed their own meat (I'm a vegetarian).

2. Most enlightening would be a large family who were really good at making do with what they have (I'm a dreadful spendthrift)

3. I couldn't handle a family that was racist or violent, so acceptance of others would be a priority.

#8 OneProudMum

Posted 29 December 2012 - 10:52 PM

Thanks to the replies thus far! It is the exact sort of discussion I wanted to encourage.

Edited by OneProudMum, 29 December 2012 - 10:55 PM.


#9 Azadel

Posted 29 December 2012 - 10:53 PM

1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?

A family with strict ideas of gender roles. (Can I be brutally honest here) A family with a lot of teenagers - not that is my issue with prejudice, I bet they'd be lovely and I hope we would both learn from this. A family heavily into shooting or motor racing, I bet we'd be their nightmare.


2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?

A family with a lot of teenagers. It would scare me at first but I hope I would bring grace. (Edit - I mean grace in how I dealt with things, not that I would give it to them)

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?

It would depend on the originating family's rules! Respect for all people. Work first, play later - the work doesn't get more fun so best get it out of the way.

4. Without elaborating too much, what are the flaws in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?

I'm not sure if it's a "flaw", but we don't have a car. I'm not sure how someone from the outer suburbs would go riding my bike everywhere...

Edited by Azadel, 30 December 2012 - 07:21 AM.


#10 Jellyblush

Posted 29 December 2012 - 11:05 PM

Oh, this is good!

1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?

As with others, a racist or intolerant family.

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?

A large, loud, chaotic family. I would find it really challenging but I think it would do me good.

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?

Respect first and foremost. Value on education as a pathway to future choices about the future.

4. What are the flaws or difficulties in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?

Not sure as from watching the show it is mainly the husband/partner that the 'new wife' has issues with, not the kids....and I don't have one! (hope that doesn't disqualify me from the thread)

5. What are the positive "things" that the other wife is likely to acknowledge about your family?

Strong work ethic, respect for others, lots of love

#11 Jane F. Jetson

Posted 29 December 2012 - 11:12 PM

I don't think I'd do well swapping with anyone (change to my routines bugs me no end) but here goes!

1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?

As with PPs, any family with very traditional gender roles. DH and I are equals, but I have the dominant personality and I would not be able to handle the expectation that I be submissive or subservient to anyone, or be able to SAHM even for a week as I suck at cleaning. A family with a conservative mindset (socially or economically) would be problematic because I am a bleeding heart socialist lefty. I would probably end up with a family full of teenage boys who expected me to do their bidding and baking cookies!

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?

I do think it would be interesting to visit a family with boys - not because I think they're hard-wired differently, but they're certainly socialised differently and I think that could be an interesting experience. I also think visiting a family who really *had* to be frugal would be good for me, because it's been a long time since I lived that way and while I wouldn't say I've forgotten how, a reminder of "needs" and "wants" could be useful.

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?

That all adult family members are equally respected - and that while all children are respected, clear boundaries be set for them. Homework would need to be done, and I would require some alone time prioritised just for me.

4. What are the flaws or difficulties in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?

All the ADHD might make things interesting for the other wife!  laugh.gif  If she was used to having her DH be the boss and being her guide and protector, she would possibly have difficulty being pretty much head of the household (I'm not the boss of DH but he tends to coast and is happy for me to take charge). She might not enjoy having to hold down a full time-plus job either.

5. What are the positive "things" that the other wife is likely to acknowledge about your family?

Um... that nobody ever died from an untidy house, and that it is good to be uber-organised about meal planning, budgeting and packing lunches the night before?

#12 OneProudMum

Posted 29 December 2012 - 11:12 PM

1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?
A sterile home environment and a family where the children receive very little praise or physical signs of affection. A family of children who have limited fun. I don't think I could live with a big drinker, either.

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?
To be completely honest - a family where exercise is a bigger priority. In our family we do sports and we go to the park and get physical exercise, but we should do it on a more regular basis. Also a family that has no I-gadgets! A vegetarian would be interesting too!

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?
Efforts in school and work is a big one for me. Also I love regular quality family time whether it is one on one or a whole family. Encouraging extra curricular activities with children is also important to me where possible.

4. What are the flaws or difficulties in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?
Probably that I'm a bit of a pushover, but DH is quite the opposite.

5. What are the positive "things" that the other wife is likely to acknowledge about your family?
Our children are outgoing, confident, well-mannered and respectful.

#13 back*again

Posted 29 December 2012 - 11:22 PM

I find these questions just too hard to answer!  I consider us to be very "mid-range", I think I'd struggle with a family at any of the extremities of life.....

On the one hand I think I'm a pretty amazing wife....on the other hand I can be kinda high maintenance.

I think my kids have a lot of responsibilities around the house....but there are plenty of times I wish they'd just clean up after themselves a bit more!

I'd be very curious to see what sort of family I would be swapped with....maybe it's a lazy slob of a husband and a dutiful wife....maybe it's a suit & tie workaholic husband and the dutiful wife (hmmm, I'm seeing a pattern here).  Maybe a working mum?

#14 kelliev

Posted 29 December 2012 - 11:29 PM

1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?

Hoarders or lazy people with a chronically untidy or dirty house.

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?

Like PP I would love to spend a week with a farming family or an amish family. I think it would make me appreciate how much easier life is with all the mod-cons.

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?

Most definitely respecting each other and caring for your family. Home cooked meals with all family members at the table is very important to me also.

4. What are the flaws or difficulties in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?

We are admittedly a bit of a 50's set-up. DH works, I look after things at home. It works for us and we both appreciate each others roles but I know it's not for everyone.

5. What are the positive "things" that the other wife is likely to acknowledge about your family?

We are a very close family and my husband and my kids are very respectful. We have a pretty good general routine going to ensure we spend quality time together.

#15 little lion

Posted 29 December 2012 - 11:40 PM

I imagine our opposite family would be a beer swilling, sport mad family. They'd think we were yuppies who treat dogs like people. I would like to see how life works for a stay at home mum with lots of kids or maybe a big Italian family! It'd be hard for the other wife to get used to my husband's night owl tendencies but she might enjoy his attitude to housework (we have a cleaner and tend to eat out a bit).

#16 pencil

Posted 29 December 2012 - 11:55 PM

We are not super extreme in any real way either, but I imagine I'd be swapped with someone who had just one or two children, worked long hours, and had a stay at home dad husband.

1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?

A family with children who are rude and swear. One where they all spend a lot of time playing video games and never do any chores or homework!

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?

One where the husband did a lot of the parenting. I'd be interested to see how I managed not taking over as I am so used to doing it all.

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?

Removing video games, assuming it applied. Reading a lot. Focusing on school work.

4. What are the flaws or difficulties in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?

The noise. The sheer workload (though I'd write my shortcuts/cheats in the manual for her!) One of my children has a very bad temper. The babies don't go to anyone but me, or occasionally my eldest child. I don't drive so she'd have to deal with that for the first week.

5. What are the positive "things" that the other wife is likely to acknowledge about your family?

The kids would probably be very polite (cos, you know, I am not there!) and our house is pretty clean, but not so clean you feel like you can't relax. We have an extensive movie collection if she gets the kids to bed early enough! (though perhaps she'll write my essays for me!?)

I love Wife Swap. The latest American series has had some super extreme families. I am truly shocked at some of them.

#17 vitaechel

Posted 30 December 2012 - 01:46 AM

OP - Great post. Makes me think! I like it. wink.gif

1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?
A racist/intolerant family as with other PP's. Also one that felt obliged to push their religious beliefs on me. I am happy sitting on a fence and will happily discuss and respect others religion, without feeling the pressure of joining in. Also a DH who drinks to much and thinks that the wife is his slave. I imagine violent husbands would not be eligible for swaps.

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?
Hmm this is hard ... I was brought up in a fairly liberal minded, but not very wealthy family. Issues over money can stress me out and I can be a little judgmental of wealthy people wasting money and resources. I would like to experience things from their point of view.

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?
Reuse, Recycle, Renew!  biggrin.gif  I would probably try to instill the value of how things can be reused and how instead of using glad wrap you can put things in Tupperware and save waste. I would prob install compost bin and try to get the kids learning about growing their own vegies. (This could be coloured by the fact I am living in US and it feels like waste is just part of the lifestyle here - it's driving me batty!).
I would also have a tolerance and respect rule. All living creatures deserve respect.
No guns in house (If they own any they can be kept in shed in a locked gun cabinet which children cannot access) and video games are limited.

4. What are the flaws or difficulties in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?
My DS is Gluten Intolerant so she would have to cook food that he can eat. He is hyperactive and impulsive and can be hard work. DH is very self assured and some people see that as arrogance - that can be problematic if you don't understand it. While not poor, we do not have a lot of money, so it would be eye opening for a mum that likes to shop a lot. I rarely buy things for myself and DH loves op shops.
If she hates dogs she would be in for a rough time with our Border Collie x who is spoiled rotten (is an inside/outside dog ie:dog fur everywhere, he gets on beds, couches, DH feeds him from his bowl sometimes) .  grin.gif

5. What are the positive "things" that the other wife is likely to acknowledge about your family?
DS always says please and thank you, he is cheeky but really friendly. He is also really affectionate, as is DH  wub.gif . DD is an Angel of a baby and smiles a lot. DH can teach her how to dance and will sing constantly (this might not be seen as a positive laugh.gif ). DH is a great dad and husband and contributes to play and housework.

#18 Feralishous

Posted 30 December 2012 - 02:02 AM

1. nightmare would be a family which use violence against their children as 'discipline'

2. most enlightening would be a religious closed brethren type of family, as Im a bit technology addicted, and am fascinated by faith (even though I dont have it)

3. would depend on the family

4. breastfeeding my 2.5yo and cosleeping might be an issue  (not that I see them as flaws)

5. We are a very affectionate and open family, with spirited, precocious  children (also maybe a flaw to someone who expects kids to be seen and not heard)

#19 Feral_Pooks

Posted 30 December 2012 - 06:53 AM

1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?
A family that is very go go go. Where they are into some kind of competitive activity and have a busy weekly schedule bursting with related stuff and sports and blah blah blah. I am so laid back and don't have a competitive bone in my body, and we try to structure our lives to have as much chill out time as possible.

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?
Perhaps a family with a lot of resources who spend money on things I consider frivolous, as it would show me how the other half live, perhaps break down some of my prejudices, and who knows I might even enjoy it.

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?
Gratitude and respect matter a lot to me. Giving each other space to be themselves and to have "down time". Material stuff doesn't matter much. Help others where you can. Be kind.

4. What are the flaws or difficulties in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?
Well I do most of the housework but there is only the one baby. Perhaps people would struggle with our overall lack of ambition and cruisy lifestyle. I think some people would get bored.

5. What are the positive "things" that the other wife is likely to acknowledge about your family?
Hopefully they would see that we try to keep our lives simple, keep our belongings and daily schedules simple, so we have time to enjoy one another and help others.


#20 lozoodle

Posted 30 December 2012 - 07:02 AM


1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?
Thrown into a house where people think cleaning is optional. There would probably be the unemployed bum of a dad who thinks living on the dole is far more appealing than actually getting a job too. And there would be inside dogs.

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?
I have no idea, probably one that has more patience and energy when it comes to their kids.

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?
Clean the house, hygeine is important. Im not talking show room standard, just not totally feral like some of the ones you see on there. Kids deserve to have a nice living space (and so do I Tounge1.gif)

4. What are the flaws or difficulties in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?
She would probably find it tough dealing with a partner who works insanely long hours and essentially being a single parent during the week, and probably the shift to full time work if they are from a househould where there is no work happening from either parent. It takes some adjusting.

5. What are the positive "things" that the other wife is likely to acknowledge about your family?
I would hope to learn to become a little more relaxed in some areas and have more patience with my kids. Scale back work a bit too (but that is already going to happen).

#21 OneProudMum

Posted 30 December 2012 - 08:19 AM

I'm still LOL at the pp who said "there would be inside dogs". Haha original.gif

#22 FeralMalinki

Posted 30 December 2012 - 09:23 AM

I couldn't deal with a super hectic lifestyle with two full time working parents and lots of kids.  Also dogs.  Or anyone that looks favourably upon Tony Abbott.

I think an enlightening and beneficial family would be one that grows a lot of their own food, cooks from scratch, has chickens, etc.  I also think it'd be fun where the family are all involved in a particular hobby, like hiking, or rock climbing, or boating, etc.

Rules:  No shagging my husband.  He's mine laughing2.gif

I'm good at organising things and people, so I'd probably be good at de-cluttering people's lives.

Issues with my family others would have - I'm a SAHM, I know a few of you would hate that wink.gif  I let DD eat McDonalds sometimes, and sultanas and yoghurt are readily available.  We're admittedly a bit materialistic.

Positive things about my family - in non-work hours, DH and I evenly split chores, time with kids, etc.  Compared to many we know, we do get a fair bit of quality time together.  We're fairly laid back.  You can usually find what you're looking for, everything is fairly organised.

#23 lozoodle

Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:16 PM

QUOTE (OneProudMum @ 30/12/2012, 09:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm still LOL at the pp who said "there would be inside dogs". Haha original.gif

Lol why? I cant stand dogs inside, i dont think that is so unusual? Im no dog hater either, i have three of my own original.gif

#24 Jane F. Jetson

Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:36 PM

QUOTE (OneProudMum @ 30/12/2012, 09:19 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm still LOL at the pp who said "there would be inside dogs". Haha original.gif


As an afterthought I'm going to add "no hairy pets indoors" to my rules!

#25 Mamacass2

Posted 30 December 2012 - 05:45 PM

Sadly I have thought about this before and have joked to DH that we should go on it, LOL. He does not find the idea funny or appealing!


1. What is your idea of the worst nightmare family to walk into?

Probably a very religious one.

2. What type of family do you believe would be an enlightening and beneficial experience for you?

A family that eat better than we do, have a more natural lifestyle and have less stress. Also one that knows how to manage their money better.

3. What rules do you think you would set (values that are important to you)?

No smacking. Limit swearing. Tidy up at the end of the day. Respect for others, for the environment and our belongings.

4. What are the flaws or difficulties in your family that you are aware of that are likely to be an issue for the other wife?

We are not great with following through with threats for DS and DD. Also I am not a great cleaner my house is usually tidy but not all that clean. I shove things into places that are already full. I am not great with managing rubbish.

5. What are the positive "things" that the other wife is likely to acknowledge about your family?
We have fun. My home is tidy and welcoming.




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