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#26 Milly Molly Mandy

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:49 PM

Hahaha starboard, I remember trying to do those things up while half tanked. I was always happy to have one of the three done up

#27 Brighter future

Posted 05 February 2013 - 05:52 PM

QUOTE
We had door to door salesmen a while back.

P and I were in the bedroom with the door shut. Just talking.

My almost 14 year old son answered the door and said at the top of his voice -

"Sorry. Mum and dad are having sex. You'll have to come back later. About 10 minutes should do it


OM*G what did you say to your son after that....?....original.gif

Edited by ♥~Purple-Bliss~♥, 05 February 2013 - 05:55 PM.


#28 Jax12

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:02 PM

QUOTE (countrymel @ 05/02/2013, 03:24 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I have mentioned mine on here before - I don't think I can bring myself to write it out again.

Do a topic search with the words: Table, dancing, plus the phrase 'any man in this room'....




*shakes self like cat to try and rid herself of the memory*

Being the crazy stalker I am I found your post.  This is the BEST. STORY. EVER!!!

roll2.gif roll2.gif roll2.gif

#29 ollies-mum

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:05 PM

I have so many but one the springs to mind is when i was younger and on my way to work, i spied a very nice looking man in the distance. Just as he got closer the heel of my high heels got caught in a crack in the pavement! It was so stuck i had to bend down and pull it out with both hands. I managed to get it free as mr hottie saunters past with a big grin on his face.

#30 jill1972

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:09 PM

About 15 years ago when I was working in retail.  I was serving a customer & I sneezed.....& farted at the same time.  I wanted the earth to swallow me up!!  I still feel embarrassed when I think about it LOL.




____________

#31 cathstash

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:10 PM

oh dear where do i start? with the one of me trying to act cool in my teens unwrapping a lolly in front of two hot guys only to look down after they passed to realise i was unwrapping a tampon! or when i was almost nine months pg with ds and in a public toilet doing numbers 2's and finding extremely difficult to wipe my  backside, when i flicked a bit of poo onto the bag in the next cubicle. i was mortified and just sat there and waited till i was sure she was gone- i've never told anyone this second story ohmy.gif

#32 PooksLikeChristmas

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:12 PM

QUOTE (Quill @ 05/02/2013, 07:04 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
He's a teenage boy.

He thought it was the most awesome thing he'd ever done.


That is legend. Wait for it. Dary.

I gotta shake the dude's hand, I would never have had the guts.

#33 Super Cat

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:18 PM

QUOTE (jill1972 @ 05/02/2013, 07:09 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
About 15 years ago when I was working in retail.  I was serving a customer & I sneezed.....& farted at the same time.  I wanted the earth to swallow me up!!  I still feel embarrassed when I think about it LOL.




____________



HAHAHAHAHAHAHA Sorry but I almost did the same just laughing at that  roll2.gif

#34 Stellajoy

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:22 PM

QUOTE
or when i was almost nine months pg with ds and in a public toilet doing numbers 2's and finding extremely difficult to wipe my backside, when i flicked a bit of poo onto the bag in the next cubicle.


you win the thread! o...m..g

#35 FeralSingleMum

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:23 PM

When DS1 was about 3 I was standing in line at the chemist. He decided to yell at the top of his voice:

"I'm going to get sooo drunk tonight."



#36 43 other ferals

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:24 PM

QUOTE (amabanana @ 05/02/2013, 04:15 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I once walked out to the letter box with my boobs out after a sleepless night and BFing DD.   oomg2.gif  It was DD#2 so they weren't even perky and worth flaunting.   cry1.gif


I can relate to that one.  I had much less trouble than is usually the case once getting rid of a young guy from AGL trying to sign us up.  I was impressed with how my assertiveness had done the trick until I realized I'd had my boob out the entire time.
Oh and recently a friend asked if the girls from work knew about my pregnancy.  I said, "Yeah, but they were there when I got pregnant."  I meant they were there when I did the test!
Oh and DH and I proudly put a beautiful photo of our son being held up after being born by c-section...only to realize months later my fanny was in the background, clear as day.
I think embarrassing myself is a bit of a gift of mine!

#37 cathstash

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:28 PM

thanks stellajoy wink.gif

#38 HGL

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:29 PM

I had my wisdom teeth out at 22yo. I was single and thought I was pretty hot. Anyway, after the surgery I was back in my room and feel pretty good. The surgeon used long lasting local anesthetic in my gums and wasn't feeling any pain.

A young, male student nurse came in to check my vitals, etc. Being the young, single, hot woman I was I started flirting with him but he kept very professional. I was then allowed out of my bed and to use the toilet.

In the ensuite mirror I realised that
1. I had a bandage wrapped around my head from the top to underneath the chin (pretty much what you see in old war movies)
2. My hair was all messed up with random bits sticking out of said bandage
3. The swelling in my cheeks made me look like a squirrel with acorns
4. I had dried, bloody drool down my chin from the corner of my mouth.
****TOTALLY HOT*****

#39 Swarley

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:30 PM

QUOTE
when i was almost nine months pg with ds and in a public toilet doing numbers 2's and finding extremely difficult to wipe my backside, when i flicked a bit of poo onto the bag in the next cubicle.


This reminds me of a story I'm guessing I read on here... about the piece of poo coated toilet paper floating under the wall to the occupied cubicle next door.
I've never laughed so hard, and am still in stitches just imagining how it happened!

#40 R2B2

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:31 PM

QUOTE (Me+2 @ 05/02/2013, 07:23 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
When DS1 was about 3 I was standing in line at the chemist. He decided to yell at the top of his voice:

"I'm going to get sooo drunk tonight."



This wins biggrin.gif

#41 BetteBoop

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:34 PM

I accidentally grabbed a total stranger on the c*ck at a work function.

I was with my boss and several other important people and we were walking downstairs in the conference centre to go back to work.

I reached behind me to touch a colleague and got this total stranger's wanger. I got flustered, stopped spun and he ended up crotch bumping my a*se.

He seemed to think I was a sure thing then because he insisted on walking with me all the way to my work.


#42 Swarley

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:36 PM

Found it Tounge1.gif

http://www.essentialbaby.com.au/forums/ind...&p=14602510

Awesome thread biggrin.gif

#43 Moffetta

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:46 PM

I remember that poo paper story too. It seriously brings tears to my eyes from laughing so much.

#44 Dresden

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:55 PM

When we lived in Tasmania, and mr 11 was 4, he was very fond of visiting the grandmotherly type across the road and helping her in her garden out the front. One day I was washing the dishes and looking out the front window and could see him, and Mrs Dawes in the garden, and could hear mrs D's neighbours (early 20s men) laughing hysterically. I wandered over to make sure he was behaving, and Then I saw IT. My pink.buzzing.friend...buzzing away, and being used as a garden tool...I mustered up as much dignity as I could, grabbed it, and ran home mortified. :/

#45 nicebitch

Posted 05 February 2013 - 06:59 PM

OK I'm still rather embarressed about this.

I was about 15 yrs old, doing work experience in a chemist in order to avoid school camp. Anyway I was very innocently raised. A lady came in and asked me where she might find the lubricant? I had no idea what she was on about so I said "lubricant for what?". Lady goes bright red and says "never mind I'll go have a look in another shop," and left in a real hurry.  ph34r.gif

I'm very sorry for embarrassing you, whoever you were.  blush.gif

#46 Prancer is coming

Posted 05 February 2013 - 07:19 PM

These are so funny.

Edited by Spotted Giraffe, 09 February 2013 - 01:27 PM.


#47 Bwok~Bwok

Posted 05 February 2013 - 07:32 PM

OMG I'm laughing so hard at the dirty poo dropper!

ETA: Laughing so much I can't type properly

Edited by Bwok~Bwok, 05 February 2013 - 07:33 PM.


#48 Academic

Posted 05 February 2013 - 10:49 PM

I used to be a cookbook editor. I was once on the phone to a (well-known!) author and asked a question about the recipe for his strawberry cheesecake. Except I said strawberry cheese c*ck ph34r.gif.

Something else that comes to mind was a conversation with a colleague about how it would be great to have a pedestrian tunnel through the English Channel so you could hike from England to France. And then I said 'the only problem is, I would find it really claustrophobic. It would take hours and hours and you'd be stuck in the tunnel the whole time.' Thought about it some more and then said 'You know what would be better? If they could invent some sort of above-ground tunnel that went over the TOP of the water.' A few moments' silence from my friend, and then '…you mean like a bridge?'

And I'm supposed to be one of the smart ones.

Edited by Academic, 05 February 2013 - 10:50 PM.


#49 snortle

Posted 09 February 2013 - 10:17 PM

QUOTE (Swarley @ 05/02/2013, 07:36 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>


Can't believe I missed that thread. I am crying with laughter!

I posted on EB about my most embarrassing moment not so long ago. It happened almost a year ago and I still want the earth to swallow me up just THINKING about it  oomg2.gif blush.gif  
*gah*

#50 misscakeandtea

Posted 19 February 2013 - 08:17 PM

LOL!!!




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