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What age for "the talk"


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#1 Fillama

Posted 15 February 2013 - 01:38 PM

Hey guys, what age did you give the kids the sex talk? My daughter is 9 and some girls in her class are beginning to develop so I'm thinking probably some time soon. My son is nearly 8 and I'm not sure he's ready yet, I think he might just be too young, though maybe that's just me. I'm thinking maybe I should talk to my daughter alone first and my son a bit later down the track? What do you think, advice or your stories would be great! original.gif

#2 waawa17

Posted 15 February 2013 - 01:56 PM

I never gave "the sex talk". We've been talking about sex and answering sex questions honestly since my kid could talk and inquire, and occasionally tossed a book his way to fill in any gaps. Now that he's ten I really don't feel the need for a big sit down: he knows about puberty, masturbation, periods, sex, consent, contraception, STDs and their prevention, pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, abortion, homosexuality, transgender and genderqueer people, sperm donation, IVF, adoption... I'm not sure that there's a lot more to add.

#3 sophiasmum

Posted 16 February 2013 - 12:41 PM

My DD is 9 & 1/2 & has definite little boobies & even had some spotting over the holidays, but when I asked her if she wanted to read about what's happening with her body & going to happen, she said no way no thanks. I have 2 books ready to read with her, when she's ready. By 10 I will definitely be doing it.

#4 .Jerry.

Posted 16 February 2013 - 12:46 PM

My daughter is 7 and I think needs to know.  She is asking lots of questions and I always answer them honestly.  I am looking for a good book to read with her about sex.

She already knows how babies get out.  Has known that one for ages.

I think at 9 the talk needs to happen.  I am a teacher and we sometimes see 9 year olds get their period and know nothing about what is going on. sad.gif  Very frightening for them.
Also kids talk.  Others will know and they learn via Chinese whispers.

#5 Jenferal

Posted 16 February 2013 - 12:51 PM

I think it should be an ongoing thing, over the course of a few years as and when they ask questions.
I think by 9 it's getting a bit late as PP mentioned, a fair few girls are getting their periods by then.
It's also a good idea to talk about secrets and personal space well before 8 or 9 to help guard against molesters.
I can't recall a time when I didn't know the basics, certainly by 10 i did.

#6 opethmum

Posted 16 February 2013 - 01:03 PM

I intend to do the talk around seven or eight because I do not want my children to find out and be the last to know and I want them to have as much information as they can to make good choices in their lives. I know it is early for some to start but it will be an on going dialogue and I will do the best I can to not make them feel awkward about their bodies and emotions.

#7 Soontobegran

Posted 16 February 2013 - 01:07 PM

No particular age, it was child dependent but I think for ours it was before age 9. So many young girls are approaching puberty at this age that is probably good to get in early.
We had a great primary school which introduced age appropriate sex education which started in grade 1/2 with the grade 5/6 talk being quite involved.
No child would have left this school to go to high school not knowing about sex and contraception.

I would actively encourage your school to introduce these sessions if they are not already doing so. It seemed there was a real maturity shown when they were educated in the presence of their peers.

#8 handsfull

Posted 16 February 2013 - 01:14 PM

We had the talk about puberty but not sex over the christmas holidays.  DDs are 9.5 years and I thought I'd get in before anything happened.  Very scary for me and for them!! LOL!  I had to have a drink afterwards...... biggrin.gif

We had a great book "Hair in funny places" from the library which they thought was great until I told them it was going to happen to them.......then the hysterics started.  Eventually they calmed down.  Some of it must of sunk in as they queried my mum on something.

I think 9 is appropriate for sure for puberty but I am holding off until 11 for sex talk.  Still too young mentally but they know no one is to touch them etc.

Hopefully they don't get their period until 12 like I did but they do have a thyroid problem and I am hoping that doesn't trigger them early.


God help us when it does....

#9 Fillama

Posted 17 February 2013 - 11:09 AM

QUOTE (handsfull @ 16/02/2013, 11:14 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
We had the talk about puberty but not sex over the christmas holidays.  DDs are 9.5 years and I thought I'd get in before anything happened.  Very scary for me and for them!! LOL!  I had to have a drink afterwards...... biggrin.gif

We had a great book "Hair in funny places" from the library which they thought was great until I told them it was going to happen to them.......then the hysterics started.  Eventually they calmed down.  Some of it must of sunk in as they queried my mum on something.

I think 9 is appropriate for sure for puberty but I am holding off until 11 for sex talk.  Still too young mentally but they know no one is to touch them etc.

Hopefully they don't get their period until 12 like I did but they do have a thyroid problem and I am hoping that doesn't trigger them early.


God help us when it does....


Lol I think I will be needing a good drink after this as well handsfull! I think I'm going to do it very soon, they do know the correct terms for their private parts and know how baby's come out, but they don't know how they get in there lol! They haven't asked but I have to agree with others that I want them to hear it through me rather than their friends. We were watching David Attenborough last night and a couple of rhinos got randy lol! The kids were laughing and I thought yeah.....it's time lol. Thanks for your feedback guys xx




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