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I'm sick of being judged for 'still' breastfeeding


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#26 Tikiboo16

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:14 PM

I stopped when DD was 2 yrs and 4 months. Luckily, I had a lot of support, although my Mum thought it was a bit odd, and DH sometimes suggested it was probably time to stop. 16 months is really not too old at all. I find it really weird that people think it's normal to stop breastfeeding at 6 months but not bottle feeding? They obviously still need milk, so why would formula be preferred after 6 months? strange..

Don't change what you are doing OP. You know you are doing what's best for your DD and don't let anyone tell you to stop. Just enjoy it while you can still do it.

#27 Justaduck

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:18 PM

Judged if you don't breastfeed, judged if you do!  I have been asked this question since DD was 4 months old "Why don't you just give her formula?" Well I am happy to bf her, it is free and we have no problems preventing her to feed. I have dropped the day feeds & switched them to cows milk but am happily feeding away with early morning feed & last feed before bed.
It is your choice and you are doing what you feel is right for you both original.gif


#28 Pooks Combusted

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:21 PM

You can't win, can you? I cop crap for bottle feeding, you cop it for breast. How about we just tell people to butt out? I'm so over this feeding thing! Leave women alone, we can ****ing figure it out, thanks!

#29 liveworkplay

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:33 PM

I bf mine till they (basically) self weened. So 15mths, 23mths and 30mths. I used to receive a few good natured 'Are you STILL feeding? Ha ha" from some school mums and my DH did ask a few times with DD3 at the end just when she was going to stop.

You MIL is probably just feeling she needs to justify her decision to not BF. Your friend needs to pull her head in. Why is it ok for her DD to still have a bottle and yours not to have a BF?

#30 B0612

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:33 PM

I find some people judge for the number of times a day you breastfeed. My DS is 9 weeks old and demand fed and sometimes will eat every 2 hours rather than every 3 to 4 hours and I will have family members saying "why don't you just give him formula" and making comments that I am always breastfeeding him! Yes sometimes his cluster feeding can be exhausting but I prefer to breastfeed and see it as being beneficial for my supply. DS is also gaining weight and settles well with the breast and with feeding so I will continue until he has decided he has had enough.

Good on you op for feeding for that long. I will be extremely happy if I can make it to a year!

Edited by Bron1206, 18 February 2013 - 02:35 PM.


#31 boatiebabe

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:36 PM

My DD went to 2 (gave up when I was 7 months pregnant) and DS self weaned at 2.5yrs.

I got a few comments, some from doctors, but I took it as an opportunity to 'educate' people on the benefits of breastfeeding. Most people didn't ask me twice!

DH was super supportive and I have a very thick skin and felt entirely comfortable in my choices.

While some of my family raised an eyebrow it was my dad who was quite supportive - he remembered when he was little (born overseas) kids of four and five dragging up a chair for their mum to sit down so they could have some mumma milk. I think he thought it was 'quaint' that his professional city slicker daughter was just like the mums of his poor faming community childhood.

I never hid it away though. I didn't care where we were, I would breastfeed them if they wanted/needed it. I looked at it as a way of normalising extended breastfeeding. There were often a few eyes agog particularly as they got older but never comments from strangers.

My only regret is that they both weaned so young.  wink.gif

#32 cinnabubble

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:38 PM

I'm "still" breastfeeding a child who is three weeks from her third birthday. I'm sure my (why don't you just give her a bottle) MIL would be stunned into a rare display of speechlessness if she knew.

#33 BeYOUtiful

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:43 PM

Put it back on her.  Ask her why it is so wrong?  I bet she backpedals.
I ignored DH/family when they had digs at him still feeding (I fed until 2yrs 5mths).
It's their issue/s they are putting on you.

#34 GoneWithTheWhinge

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:58 PM

tell them to mind their own business! Ask how YOU breastfeeding YOUR baby impacts on THEIR life. For sure there'll be some umm backtrack umm  whilst they try to come up with something. If its just the 'they don't need it after **months/weeks' again ask how its impacting on their life and that you'll continue to feed until you and your baby are happy for it to stop.

There is so much info around on the benefits of extended breastfeeding that a little research should arm you with heaps of facts you can educate people with. After all if they are so keen to raise it with you they should be up for a little discussion or education on the subject shouldn't they?!

I loved feeding my youngest, was tough at first (she was tongue tied and subsequently diagnosed as failure to thrive) but once we got through the first hellish 4 months or so it was fantastic. I encouraged her to wean at 3.5 as I'd just about had it by then and it was down to the odd feed every few days so although she'd have been happy to have access for longer it was more my decision to say stop than hers.

#35 Soontobegran

Posted 18 February 2013 - 02:59 PM



Unfortunately you must desensitise yourself to the comments of others. You will have comments about your parenting/feeding regardless of whether you are breast or bottle feeding......for some reason it is what women do to each other. sad.gif
Having said that I never ever experienced negative comments to my breast feeding in the 11+ years of feeding I did. It seems to be far more prevalent these days for people to give judgemental and unwanted opinions to other mothers.



QUOTE (Leeloomina @ 18/02/2013, 02:45 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I find that our parents' generation has a different attitude to breastfeeding because formula feeding was so popular back then. And some of those who judge have never done it or didn't have a good experience with it.



I agree with the second part of what you have said that there may be some negativity from women who chosen to not breast feed or couldn't breast feed but as I am probably your parent's generation I disagree with the fact that formula was popular back then. There was actually a much higher breast feeding retention rate in the 80's and 90's than there is now.
All my peers breast fed, all my relatives breast fed.

#36 lucky 2

Posted 18 February 2013 - 03:16 PM

To follow on from stbg, formula feeding reached a peak/bfing declined around 1972.

#37 Nataliah

Posted 18 February 2013 - 03:40 PM

QUOTE (cinnabubble @ 18/02/2013, 03:38 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
I'm "still" breastfeeding a child who is three weeks from her third birthday. I'm sure my (why don't you just give her a bottle) MIL would be stunned into a rare display of speechlessness if she knew.


How does this work with you working cinnabubble?  I would like to BF beyond 1 year, but need to go back to work too.  I assumed I'd have to compromise on one...

#38 zzgirl

Posted 18 February 2013 - 03:46 PM

If anyone asks WHY??  Tell them you can't afford a boob job, and this is a cheap way to get bigger boobs!!!! hahaha

#39 Jenflea

Posted 18 February 2013 - 03:50 PM

My boobs never got bigger, just droopier sad.gif


#40 somila

Posted 18 February 2013 - 03:52 PM

QUOTE (Nataliah @ 18/02/2013, 03:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How does this work with you working cinnabubble?  I would like to BF beyond 1 year, but need to go back to work too.  I assumed I'd have to compromise on one...

Presumably a child of nearly three could eat and drink a lot of other things while his/her mother is at work?  By the second year it is usually pretty easy to do a feed in the morning and one at night when mum is out during the day.

#41 Lainskii

Posted 18 February 2013 - 03:54 PM

There are still Drs/CHCN that tell women that there are no benefits to breastfeeding after 6 months. My SIL and brother came out with this one the other week when I asked if she was still BF her 10 month old. I asked where they heard this and they said the CHCN, they asked the Dr who agreed.
My brother then went on to say they don't get any nutrients from breast milk after 6 months, I corrected him as gently as I could but it is no wonder people still think it is strange to BF after 6 months.


#42 Ianthe

Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:00 PM

I always replied that we were both happy with the arrangement so we would continue while we both were.

#43 cinnabubble

Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:03 PM

QUOTE (Nataliah @ 18/02/2013, 04:40 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
How does this work with you working cinnabubble?  I would like to BF beyond 1 year, but need to go back to work too.  I assumed I'd have to compromise on one...

My non-bottle-taking kids from the ages of 6.5 and 8.5 months respectively just had to get used to solids and water in my absence and breastmilk in my presence. Children and supply both adjusted quite easily. I did quite a long post a month or two ago and I'll try and dig up the link when I get home.

Edited by cinnabubble, 18 February 2013 - 04:04 PM.


#44 Nataliah

Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:08 PM

QUOTE (cinnabubble @ 18/02/2013, 05:03 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
My non-bottle-taking kids from the ages of 6.5 and 8.5 months respectively just had to get used to solids and water in my absence and breastmilk in my presence. Children and supply both adjusted quite easily. I did quite a long post a month or two ago and I'll try and dig up the link when I get home.

Thanks, I seem to have these vague ideas of how things will be but really I have no idea...  I should probably be spending this time (2 weeks to EDD) reading about being a parent rather than posting on EB...

#45 mumandboys

Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:15 PM

QUOTE (zzgirl @ 18/02/2013, 04:46 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
If anyone asks WHY??  Tell them you can't afford a boob job, and this is a cheap way to get bigger boobs!!!! hahaha


I like this!

I fed my children (bottles for the majority) up to the age of 2, and one up to almost 3.

I also got judgements and comments that my children didn't need bottles at their age.

I think people will always judge parents - it's unfortunate, but it happens.


#46 Justaduck

Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:17 PM

QUOTE (Lainskii @ 18/02/2013, 03:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There are still Drs/CHCN that tell women that there are no benefits to breastfeeding after 6 months. My SIL and brother came out with this one the other week when I asked if she was still BF her 10 month old. I asked where they heard this and they said the CHCN, they asked the Dr who agreed.
My brother then went on to say they don't get any nutrients from breast milk after 6 months, I corrected him as gently as I could but it is no wonder people still think it is strange to BF after 6 months.


Yes DP came home from work one day to tell me his co-worker told him this as well. He often asks me when I will stop feeding (he personally doesn't like idea of bigger kids feeding but that is his problem) and I am not sure really

#47 Nataliah

Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:21 PM

DH read this article about breastfeeding in Mongolia and how they love it because they believe breast milk produces the best wrestlers.  DH does MMA and BBJ and has always wanted to go to Mongolia, so he's totally bought into the breastfed-wrestler idea original.gif  It think that will be my default response to these kinds of comments (if I get them)...  "It's for his wrestling career."

#48 Kellykopter

Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:26 PM

I b/fed my children until 18m, 22m and 26m.

MIL threw me the 'when will you stop' questions with #1 : my answer was 'when we want to' or 'well she likes it so I see no reason to stop' etc.

She never asked again with #2 or #3 and I would like to think that now shes actually bragging to the other grandmas about how long I fed for.

I think its an achievement to do extended breastfeeding, not and ambarasment.

Do what you and baby wants, not what everyone else thinks is right.

PS - ETA only stopped #1 at 18m cos I fell preg with #2 and it hurt when she attached.  The other two just slowly became less interested.

Edited by KarenBubMachine, 18 February 2013 - 04:28 PM.


#49 Natttmumm

Posted 18 February 2013 - 04:31 PM

You get judged if you BF too long and if not long enough. People should mind their own business

#50 lucky 2

Posted 18 February 2013 - 06:02 PM

QUOTE (Nataliah @ 18/02/2013, 05:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks, I seem to have these vague ideas of how things will be but really I have no idea...  I should probably be spending this time (2 weeks to EDD) reading about being a parent rather than posting on EB...

You could do both??
There is a pinned thread in this forum where members have shared their experiences of combining breastfeeding and work and another about our breastfeeding journeys, the good, the bad and the ugly!




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