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I'm sick of being judged for 'still' breastfeeding

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#51 bjk76

Posted 18 February 2013 - 06:16 PM

I'm 'still' breastfeeding DS at 22mo and plan to let him self-wean. I haven't had any negative comments, but then we rarely feed when we're out. He's had a couple of feeds at playgroup recently and I've only had positive reactions there.

My MIL (who's passed away) breastfed DH til he was 5. She was a Maternal and Child Health Nurse and very forthcoming with her opinons and she probably would have been having a go at me if I didn't breastfeed DS until at least 2!

#52 cinnabubble

Posted 18 February 2013 - 06:22 PM

QUOTE (Nataliah @ 18/02/2013, 05:08 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
Thanks, I seem to have these vague ideas of how things will be but really I have no idea...  I should probably be spending this time (2 weeks to EDD) reading about being a parent rather than posting on EB...


Here's a link to a recent thread with lots of resources.

My advice? Spend this time sleeping! You'll learn parenting on the job.

#53 Nataliah

Posted 19 February 2013 - 02:34 PM

QUOTE (cinnabubble @ 18/02/2013, 07:22 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Here's a link to a recent thread with lots of resources.

My advice? Spend this time sleeping! You'll learn parenting on the job.

Sleep? ha that would be nice, insomnia is a b**ch!

Thanks for the link:)

#54 Sassenach2

Posted 19 February 2013 - 03:02 PM

Not only are you following the WHO advice to feed to 2 years and beyond, but you are going to be a lower risk of contracting breast cancer at a later age. Yay!

#55 43 other ferals

Posted 19 February 2013 - 03:19 PM

I breastfed my son until he finally consented to be weaned at 2.5 years.  For the last year or so of that I kept it secret, because I got fed up with comments from my Dad and my MiL, which made me feel like I was doing something a bit deviant.

Towards the end it was just a night feed or a feed when he was upset or unwell and looking for comfort.  I hate women are treated like freaks for doing something that benefits their children.

#56 bailee

Posted 19 February 2013 - 03:27 PM

QUOTE (Lainskii @ 18/02/2013, 04:54 PM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
There are still Drs/CHCN that tell women that there are no benefits to breastfeeding after 6 months. My SIL and brother came out with this one the other week when I asked if she was still BF her 10 month old. I asked where they heard this and they said the CHCN, they asked the Dr who agreed.
My brother then went on to say they don't get any nutrients from breast milk after 6 months, I corrected him as gently as I could but it is no wonder people still think it is strange to BF after 6 months.

I have been told this by Drs, professors in fact, in an allergy clinic. Fortunately I ignored their 'advice' and continued feeding my son. However there would also be a whole lot of people who would criticize me for not following the Drs advice despite the fact it was wrong and it was wrong for our needs at the time.

I think that the toddler stage is the best time for feeding. You are past the newborn difficulties and your toddler has a special appreciation for feeding. I love that you can have a conversation about it with them and just share a special time with them. I fed my first till he was 3 and my second is currently 2.5. I select who I speak to about bf (I don't mention it to my colleagues for example) and I'm lucky that I have found people who accept/support it. Sorry OP that you don't have the same.

#57 kissy10

Posted 19 February 2013 - 03:38 PM

My "baby" who was 3 in September still feeds to sleep sometimes..... I would like him to stop, but also enjoy the closeness at the end of the day.

#58 mivimummy

Posted 19 February 2013 - 03:55 PM

Yeah I got this from my MIL & SIL also.  I fed DD1 until she was 2yrs  and DD2 until about 2 yrs 3 mths. I got eyerolls and snide comments about going to school to feed the girls lunch when they are older.

MIL in particular was sour I never used a bottle (complete with a hole cut in the teat to make it bigger) filled with  milk and mushed up plasmon biscuits. That, not endless bfing, is how you grow healthy babies.  Yes, I am a stubborn, ignorant "girl". Lol.

For what it's worth, both my two self weaned, and it was a very special time with both of them - wouldn't change it for the world.

#59 Guest_Sunnycat_*

Posted 19 February 2013 - 04:02 PM

I'm still breast feeding my 16 month old DS. He has one feed before his sleep at night. I could probably push him to wean as he is more than capable of going to sleep without boob now. No one has really said anything to me about still breast feeding.

Although someone did say that I'm not "really" breast feeding because I probably don't have any milk at the moment because I'm pregnant so apparently it doesn't count.

#60 Castrophic

Posted 19 February 2013 - 07:12 PM

I just hit 2 years with my DD the other day so am feeling very chuffed! Congrats to everyone who is going along so well. It's lovely to hear that I am not alone!

I've just been selective who I tell. All my family on both sides know but I don't really talk about it and they are too polite to mention if it bugs them. The only time when I have felt bad is turning down a kid-free holiday interstate with my sisters as I want to have her self wean and my hubby won't look after her unless she is booby free (feeds to sleep every night so 100% support him lol).

Nearly no-one at work knows and I feel like it is not something I can talk to people about. I do think that unless you have experienced feeding a toddler you don't quite get how incredible different to a newborn it is - I was one of these people prior to having DD. I'm considering joining an ABA group just to be able to talk about the experience - is it strange to start when you don't have a newborn??

I don't really hide it as DD will ask me anytime of the day if she is feeling tired so it does come out and I am truly proud of us, but I also don't feed out in public if I can help it. I love the comment about the Mongolian wrestlers! It reminds me of this post I read about an American woman's experience feeding in Mongolia

It has been the most amazing experience and the thought of stopping saddens me. I am hoping to tandem feed and am looking forward to peoples opinions on that biggrin.gif

I think I needed to get that off my chest!

#61 ImpatientAnna

Posted 19 February 2013 - 09:13 PM

I know my father (he's 65) thinks it's a bit odd that I am 'still' feeding a 15month old. But he has the manners to not say anything. I think my mum will start thinking it's weird around 18 months. But once again has the courtesy not to turn it into a big deal. I just see it as us having very different parenting philosophies and leave it at that.  Because neither of them have had exposure / experience with BFing due to medication, I understand to a degree why they can't get their heads around it. Meh, I could care less if they said something that was outright ignorant and rude anyhow. I am pretty thick skinned.

#62 Goggie

Posted 20 February 2013 - 08:45 PM

I know this thread is from a couple of days ago, but I just wanted to say OP that my MIL is exactly the same.
She constantly drops hints that a bottle is much easier because anybody can give it to him (never mind the fact that I'm at home with him all day and bottle feeding is much more work than getting your boobs out). She often comments that he is small and formula would 'fatten him up'.
She bf for 6 weeks with both of her kids and her reasoning to me was her milk dried up. I doubt that actually, I think she just didn't enjoy it and found it exhausting and relentless. She suffers from anxiety and doesn't manage stress well and I think the stress of feeding was difficult for her. But rather than be honest about it and support us in our choices she constantly feels the need to subtly (as a sledgehammer) question or make passive aggressive statements about Breastfeeding.

What's really interesting is that my mum and dad are the same age and totally pro breastfeeding. Mum bf all 4 of us kids until at least a year and my dad just thinks its normal. In fact I think he's a little proud.

I'm not sure why there is the lack of understanding about breastfeeding, I'm hoping to get to 12 months and then cut back to 1-2 feeds a day when I'm back at work. Reading EB has made me want to continue well past that though, there are so many lovely stories on here of long term feeders I hope I can be one of them.

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