Jump to content

Extremely clingy 4 year old


  • Please log in to reply
4 replies to this topic

#1 bmieke

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:00 AM

Not sure if anyone can help here. It is just that I am so over my daughters behaviour and I have to get it out.

DD is now 4, but has always been a bit of a clingy child. She started preschool at the beginning of last year and cried hysterically every morning, and started up again in the afternoons every day that she attended for the first term (2 days a week). But then it stopped. She was happy, she had friends, everything was good. She also started swimming lessons in that time, absolutely loved it. And she was doing dancing one morning a week, which she loved because 3 of her friends also attended.

Then last October (I think), DH and I were attending a concert and my mum offered to have my kids overnight (their first ever sleep over)....... DD, DS (7) and my niece (also 7). Since then, DD has completely regressed..... Crying at preschool, crying and refusing to swim at swimming lessons and crying and refusing to dance at dancing. I am over it. The other day, she fell asleep in the afternoon and DH arrive home, so I asked him to stay with her while I picked up DS from dancing. When she woke up and found I was not home she lost it.

We have one year til she starts school and I am starting to worry that we are going to have a crappy year, and then she won't separate at school.

Just wondering if anyone has any suggestions on helping her separate again. Just so you know, I don't give in to her..... Eg when she cracked it at swimming last week, she stayed in the pool crying for the lesson rather than getting her out. And her dance teachers and preschool teachers are lovely, so I have no fears in leaving her somewhere that I feel is a safe environment.

#2 CharliMarley

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:10 AM

I think you need to give in to her, as she is obviously suffering badly from separation anxiety and by being hard on her is only going to make her terribly unhappy and she will remember this time for the rest of her life. I was one of those clingy children and you just have to wait until they grow out of it and get more confidence. Be kind to her. bbighug.gif

#3 Cat People

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:11 AM

If it was me, I would withdraw her from the non-essential activities until she gains her confidence back.  I don't see the point in doing them if she's upset and not enjoying it.

Lots of reassurance, 'love bombing' - basically just smother her until she feels the confidence to go out on her own again.  IME, trying to push them into things, to push them into independence when they're not ready, makes it worse and they become more clingy.  FWIW ds attends a class with 3-6 yr olds and it's quite common - there a few 3-4 yr olds who have a real struggle separating from mum.



#4 wombat

Posted 21 February 2013 - 09:16 AM

Unfortunately I think some kids are just like that, and try as you might no matter what you do school next year may not be fun for her or you.  My DD was very similar and 7 years on, whilst she has no problems going to school, activities etc, she wouls still rather hang with me on weekends.  A lot is in the personality I think.  It doesn't help that society as a whole places stupid amounts of pressure on us to all raise, independant, self sufficient kids by the time they start school. some kids get there by 5, some not til 15. I honestly don't think we get much say in it.  Good luck.

#5 Jenferal

Posted 21 February 2013 - 02:47 PM

I don't see how leaving her in the pool crying for the whole lesson is doing her any good, let alone the other students.
Maybe she;s scared of the water as well, I was and it took me about 30 years to get over mum making me do swimming lessons every January.





1 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 1 guests, 0 anonymous users

 
  • quotes-320

    Wise words from kids movies

    The movies we watched as kids had a lot more to offer than just entertainment. Here's ten wise quotes from kids movies.

  • ek-toysales-thumb

    Best buys of the 2014 toy sales

    We have rounded up some of the best from this year's half yearly toy sales from the big stores around Australia.

  • yoda

    31 iconic family films from the 1980s

    If you grew up in the 1980s there will be a number of films that are close to your heart. Here are 31 of the most iconic for you to watch with your own kids.

  • cruella

    10 live-action remakes of famous animations

    After the success of "Maleficent" at the box office Disney is opening their vault to re-work the classics into live-action movies, and a number of other film studios are following suit. Here are ten live-action remakes to look forward to.

 
Advertisement
 
 
Advertisement
 
 
 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.