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It's not a beer gut its a bump!

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#1 Fifi1987

Posted 03 March 2013 - 11:08 AM

Hi Ladies

I am currently 20 weeks along at the moment with my first child. Prior to getting pregnant I had lost a lot of weight for my upcoming wedding in April and managed to get myself down to a size 8. After the surprise discovery of my pregnancy (I have PCOS so didn't think it would happen naturally for us) both my partner and I are elated, but I feel like it has taken a lot away from our wedding next month.

I have gained a whopping 10kgs so far (my Obs said it's ok as I was slightly underweight anyway) but I dont really have a defined bump and I'm so stupidly obsessed with the weight gain. I just look chubby. Even one of my work colleagues commented as I was walking to the gym yesterday "that's not a baby that's a beer gut". I was devastated. I feel like I have to tell everyone I see that Im pregnant so they don't think I'm just fat.

I've been eating well and exercising, but my self esteem is just shot. I want to love being pregnant but I'm just not feeling "it".

Is this common or am I just nuts? I probably sound really vain and horrible sad.gif

#2 RellBell

Posted 04 March 2013 - 07:29 AM

I don't know if it's vain... it probably is, but I feel exactly the same way!

I'm 23 weeks, due 30 june/1st july... and I feel like a whale. I've popped, so I have a belly, but i've also gained about 10 kilos (I was healthy weight to begin with). I get hurtful comments like "you're huge!" and "are you SURE you're not having twins" (i've had that one about 10 times). Also, "you're not far enough along to need maternity pants, how much of that is actually baby?".

I have been eating a lot of junk though (only got rid of morning sickness a few weeks ago so it was all potato chippies and softdrink).

I'm really regretting the weight gain and feeling really terrible about my body. So keen for it to just be over so I can be thin and attractive again sad.gif

#3 WhimsicalDragonfly

Posted 04 March 2013 - 07:45 AM

I'd prob feel the same way if I had a little baby bump in the lead up to my wedding. Weddings are stressful and there is a focus on your weight. Sounds like you've done an amazing job slimming down for the wedding, and wahoo you're pregnant! Two incredible achievements! Try to focus on these two things and not people's insensitive/rude comments.

I also had some comments like that though, someone at work kept saying around 20 weeks, "Oh, you're getting fat!".  I'd just reply with, "Um, no I'm pregnant!".

When I first told everyone at work I was pregnant, at around 15 weeks, a couple of people said things like "I thought you were getting chubby!" and "I just thought you'd been eating too much pasta!". I'd actually only put on 2kg at this point, and have put on a total of 6kg so far, so just shows people will make funny comments about any type of weight gain.

Another person at work told me she knew I was pregnant because my skin broke out early on. Yeah thanks for that! Then later she told me she put on a lot of weight while BF and took great delight in telling me that it would probably happen to me too! I think part of it can be related to people's own unresolved issues about their weight.

Try not to let it get to you. I'm sure you look wonderful! And good luck for your wedding & your baby - two amazing, exciting and wonderful things on your horizon!

Edited - to fix typos & spacing
Oops! Just realised this was posted in a DIG! I'm from the March DIG  blush.gif

Edited by WhimsicalDragonfly, 04 March 2013 - 07:52 AM.

#4 Bazinga

Posted 04 March 2013 - 08:28 AM

People will tell you you look huge or fat no matter how small or big you are during pregnancy. They seem to lose their brain to mouth filter when babies are involved.

Losing weight with PCOS can be the perfect way to fall pregnant wink.gif as little as 3% can make a huge difference.

Please don't focus on the numbers on the scales. Your body is providing life support for this little babe. Once he/she out and breast feeding that might help with weightless.

I gained 21kg while pregnant and had lost 25kg by the time he was 5 months old and I wasn't on a strict diet, I ate lots of junk to be honest.

Congrats on getting married, I got married late last year so I understand the pressure we put on ourselves to look perfect in our dress but just think in the years to come you can look back with your child and say that they were their on your big day original.gif

#5 Fifi1987

Posted 04 March 2013 - 08:42 AM

Relly23 & WhimsicalDragonFly, thank you so much for your response. I'm glad I'm not the only one who has felt like a beached whale and had people rude enough to comment on it.

Relly, I was wearing maternity pants from 16 weeks, they are so bloody comfortable. Potato chips got me through my morning sickness too. Im finding that increasing my exercise to 40 minutes 5 times a week is starting to help me feel better. Even if I can't see visible changes. Is this your first baby? From what I can gather from other mum's its very common for big weight gains in the first pregnancy. I just hate the fact that there are so many "guidelines" about what weight gain you "should" be having. No doubt they were all written by men.

Whimsicaldragonfly, I cannot believe that someone from work said you are getting fat!! Especially not even knowing you are pregnant is horrid! I had a lot of people at work telling me I looked like death walking, in saying that I had shocking all day vomiting for my first 18 weeks. Thank you for your lovely comments.

#6 Fifi1987

Posted 04 March 2013 - 08:49 AM

Hi Bazinga (great name by the way). You are spot on about people losing their brain to mouth filter when it comes to pregnancy. My step mum even genuinely asked me to change the name we have chosen if it is a boy (We chose Ethan) because she doesn't like it. So she said she is now praying we have a girl. Who says that!! Congratulations on getting married last year, weddings are not exactly a walk in the park to plan. 21kgs is what my obs said I will probably put on too. I nearly fell off my chair. I think once I start to feel the baby moving around, it will all just make sense to me.  biggrin.gif

#7 AJV29

Posted 04 March 2013 - 09:19 AM

You poor thing. Some people really lack social skills and manners...

I have also felt a bit big, rather than pregnant. I expected a cute little belly bump however have 'rounded' out everywhere much to my suprise.

On the train I have to stand and no one offers me a seat. I think it's obvious that I am pregnant however others tell me maybe it isnt obvious enough. I hope so - because otherwise people are simply rude!

I think it is very normal for women to feel big, or bad about the weight gain during pregnancy (so you are not alone). It sounds like you are exercising which is great. Obviously it is also important to eat healthy, however otherwise there is not much else you can do. Nature will take it's course.

Dont forget women gain weight differently. For instance, I retain a lot of water so I am sure I will look like a balloon at the end. Some women (lucky) barely gain any weight. Try to not focus on it too much providing you and the baby are healthy biggrin.gif

#8 RellBell

Posted 04 March 2013 - 10:16 AM

I worked out a lot until I got pregnant, but haven't worked out at all since about 10 weeks. So i'm going to ease myself back into it slowly with a half an hour walk each morning (just wish that the rain would go away). If it's not gone by tomorrow morning, i'm pulling out an umbrella and going for a walk (or if its heavy, I will actually go to the gym).

My DP works at my gym, so EVERYBODY (staff wise) knows me there... and they like to sticky beak on how i'm looking, how i'm doing, and so on and so forth. So i've actually been avoiding the gym in my current fatty state (so counter-productive I know).

I really think that i've been a bit cheeky with my food though, and now that the morning sickness is gone I really need to eat healthy. I've probably gained enough weight for my entire pregnancy by now, so it's time to eat clean and think about that size 12 bridesmaid dress that I have to fit in to by the 14th of December!

Congratulations on your wedding by the way! How exciting original.gif

#9 Fifi1987

Posted 05 March 2013 - 08:44 AM

Thanks Ladies. AJV29 I find the same thing, Im an interstate FIFO mine worker and not a single person has offered to help me with my carry on baggage and I fly 12 times a month! You're right about the water retention, I forgot about that part. People can be so rude on public transport, my girlfriend is 7 months along and she regularly has to stand on the trains in Perth.

Relly, I feel your pain, my fiance is a Physical Trainer in the Navy and I was working out with him on my days off doing up to 2 hour sessions daily and all his colleagues were impressed with my dedication. Now I only go to the base gym to pick him up from work and I just wait in the car  unsure.gif

I think we need to ban the scales and buy a trick mirror for pregnancy that makes us feel like Miranda Kerr!

#10 Ali2013

Posted 08 March 2013 - 12:04 PM

Ive put on 7 kgs in 20 weeks, but my father in law calls me "fatty" whenever he sees me. However he is the most offensive, politically incorrect person Ive ever met, so it comes as no surprise!

I did a lot of weight training before I got pregnant, but have done nothing since, despite wanting to. I really miss it. I cant walk more than 20m without puffing, I get constant headaches, I also get a lot of painful cramping and ligament pain, so by the end of the day Im waddling around in agony, despite not having a big bump. Going to the gym after work is out, Id rather stick bamboo skewers in my eyes.

Im finding it hard to get in and out of the car and incredibly hard to sleep, so Im planning on stopping work around 30 weeks. My midwife has said that the pain should ease off soon so Im really hoping she is right! When I stop work Ill start walking in the mornings, its the only time I feel good enough to do it.

#11 Bubba_Mumma

Posted 13 March 2013 - 08:09 PM

Hi Everyone,

Some people are just rude!

With my DS i gained around 25kg and my MIL kept calling me fatty all the time too...I couldnt get over it and I began to hate her...still struggle with it now, 2 years on (agree with the unresolved weight issues idea..she got gestastional diabetes with her 3rd and blames the kid for her obesity).

This time around Ive only gained 5kg at 21weeks and am freaking a little already. I had really really bad swelling of my legs and ankles with DS to the point that I was in constant pain....and I think this was because of the large weight gain or maybe it was water retention?

If its really bothering you so much just walk away...or start crying. The offensive person will feel so bad they'll never mention your weight again!!! hahaha

P.S. Fifi1987 I love the name Ethan, your MIL should understand its your baby which means you get to choose their name..not her.

#12 Fifi1987

Posted 19 March 2013 - 02:24 PM

OMG Bubba_Mumma you should've said it back to her, atleast you had an excuse!

I figure if Beyonce can stack on 26kgs and still look fabulous then I have nothing to worry about.

Oh we aren't changing the name. I refuse to budge on that. Swelling feet are my biggest fear at the moment, I bought a pair of blue Manolo Blahniks 4 years ago to wear as my wedding shoes and they have been patiently waiting in the cupboard for their big day, I will squeeze my feet into them come hell or high water  original.gif

Edited by Fifi1987, 19 March 2013 - 02:24 PM.

#13 MegsyC

Posted 12 April 2013 - 12:14 PM

QUOTE (Fifi1987 @ 03/03/2013, 11:08 AM) <{POST_SNAPBACK}>
"that's not a baby that's a beer gut".

I can't believe someone said that to you!  sad.gif

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