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IVF Multiple Cycles and the Long Haul BG #16

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#76 MRae

Posted 19 June 2013 - 05:25 PM

Amber I often have the exact same thoughts.  I've put my life on hold now for 4 years.  I quit an aspect of my job which earned me really good money 3 years ago thinking that I was putting myself under too much stress and not falling pregnant because of it. But no, that obviously wasn't the reason. I also used to stress about how I would cope when I got pregnant and if I got morning sickness and blah blah. . So restricted my advancement at work.   We haven't bought a home over the past 5 years due to funding my husbands change in career and then the cost of IVF.  Its REALLY frustrating.  But it just had to happen because there wasn't any time to put it off any longer.  I guess we are all at the same age and getting to the same point of thinking maybe we cant be mothers.  sad.gif

So this year we decided that "this was it".  We HAVE to move on.  I've taken on that extra work again starting in July and we are going to buy a house at the end of the year.  We'll put away enough money to do one more egg pick up after we use the 4 we have frozen.  I told my husband I will need lots of fur-babies to pour my all my pent up love into if I cant be a mother - we might even do pet rescue work.  I will also consider fostering children at some point.

Do think about what you can do and move on when you're ready. Slow steps. You have invested so much time and effort into it, you deserve to achieve all the goals you want for yourself - and if after all of that we fall pregnant then we will be stronger and more appreciative of all those things than the others who haven't gone through what we have gone through.  You can always quit a job or reduce hours, work load etc.  I wish I'd done this sooner by my heart just wasn't in it.

What do you want to do everyone?  What have you been putting off? Lets put it down on paper.  They say its a way of holding yourself to goals.

Me: I'm going to buy a home in 2013, get a dog, succeed in my promotion and earn more money (and hopefully have a baby along the way).

P.s sorry for long posts - Im making up for lost time original.gif

Edited by MRae, 19 June 2013 - 05:28 PM.

#77 Sariele

Posted 19 June 2013 - 07:01 PM

Amber - I can totally relate hun. I essentially quit my job to do IVF, and more than a year of unemployment later I'm still going. I've brainstormed so many hobbies etc I could be taking up to make me feel less like my life is "on hold", but because of how crap this has all been so far, I just lack the motivation to do anything with my life. Then there's always the "next cycle will be the one!" voice that tells me I shouldn't take up anything I couldn't do while UTD, "just in case"... It's so frustrating. sad.gif

Thank you everyone for all your thoughts and good wishes. I'm thrilled to confirm that I am currently PUPO with two beautiful blasties, and I have another two early blasts in the freezer. They are also watching three embies that are trailing but could still make freezing by tomorrow! But even if they don't, I'm blown away by how amazing this cycle has been.

Here's a pic of Vernon and Petunia (Vernon's the fat one, lol):

#78 estel2

Posted 19 June 2013 - 11:25 PM

Sarielle - I'm glad to hear that it's gone so well - best of luck!

Amber - I think these are absolutely normal things to think: this kind of experience really makes you think about who you are and what its all about.  And there is so much invested in this that moving on is hard.  As others have said setting some goals or doing something new can help.  Also, some people find that counselling can be helpful: I did.  

MRae - I hope the transfer goes ok.  and also is you're dad ok.  We will be transfering 1 - we have exactly one seven year old blast to transfer.

AFM - just jogging along.  A whole lot of things up in the air at work - looks like another restructure is on the horizon.  Ah well.

#79 AmberSpark

Posted 20 June 2013 - 09:52 AM

Thank you MRAE - I am 38 andknow that my time for all this to end is coming soon. We have also decided that after this cycle, we are putting it to rest. We bought our home a couple of years ago but it needs renovating and that has been on hold for 2 years now, why we keep having to find money for the next cycle. I am the bread winner in my house, meaning that I earn the more money and there is no chance at all of me quitting my job, we just wouldn't be able to afford it. DH is looking for a new job but its not great out there at the minute.

I have two major goals that I want to look into if this next cycle is a bust.

1) go overseas, possibly to USA for a big tri....Vegas baby

2) Foster --- I have been looking into it and I know that I could give some child the life they deserve, I have the papers and just waiting for DH to say yes to continue the application.

Sariele - they are gorgeous.....BOL for this next two weeks. hands.gif

Estel2 - what a time, why can't things just be relaxing for us....I hope it settles in your favour of course.

#80 Dadora

Posted 20 June 2013 - 12:23 PM

Amber - bbighug.gif  bbighug.gif
I think like MRae said, I've had the same thoughts. I've always thought that I would be a mother. My mother got pregnant at the drop of a hat (with 5 kids) and so I also thought it would be easy for me, too.
After our last failed cycle it really hit me that "maybe this isn't going to happen". I was really shocked that I was thinking like that. It is a horrible to be faced with a prospect like that but as everyone has said I like we should make plans for a future. And if babies happen then we can fit them in, too original.gif

MRae - I've been putting off travelling. Hard to do when you think you need to squeeze it in between cycles. So my husband and I have decided that we will go on a big trip at the beginning of next year. Probably Europe original.gif
Also I'd like to work less original.gif I know that seems a bit backward but I own my own business and don't really need to work full time anymore (just habit I guess). Instead I'd like a little more time to do what I love, which is renovating our house, gardening, sewing, painting and making soaps. I've always thought I should scale back my hobbies but instead I should be doing what I like to do. So I will! original.gif

Sariele - Your Vernon and Petunia are beautiful embies. Couldn't ask for more perfect original.gif I'm hands.gif that they are snuggling in good and deep right now for you. Best of luck with your 2ww original.gif

Hi Estel and Sparky waves.gif

AFM - AF post home insem arrived finally. 2 days late (weird) and not in the normal fashion of intense cramping. Oh well, we will try again this month with the insem but if we have no luck then we're going to Fiji in July for my sister's wedding and I'm going nuts on the cocktails original.gif wink.gif

Edited by Dadora, 20 June 2013 - 12:45 PM.

#81 MRae

Posted 20 June 2013 - 02:26 PM

Oh Sariele they are beautiful original.gif  good luck!

Estel hope the restructure works out well for you.  My dad is receiving treatment for Non Hodgkins lymphoma.  Its an ongoing process but we are sticking together and getting through it.

Amber I could never even think about not being able to have children it upset me too much. In the past 6 months I seem a bit more resigned to the fact.  I'm very curious about Fostering, but like your husband my husband isn't as interested.  I will start looking into it after we use our frozen embryos and we buy our house.  Vegas would be awesome.  

Dadora sorry AF arrived but i'm glad you have something nice to look forward to. Overseas weddings are so much fun.  My DH and I went to Europe five years ago for my brothers wedding.  We had such a great time and we got engaged there.  I'm so jealous you can pull back on work and spend more time doing the things you love.  Good on you for getting to that point in your life.  original.gif

AFM: just trying to relax as much as possible in this crazy life I'm living in just now they should call me tomorrow with my time for Mondays transfer.  I'm going to Slava's Snow Show tonight.  My DH bought tickets for us because our life has been so stressful of late.  I'm looking forward to it.

#82 AmberSpark

Posted 21 June 2013 - 12:52 PM

MRAE - Good luck with the transfer and with the show, what a great hubby you have, I hear you on the stressful front. I have booked a weekend away in Apollo Bay in a couple of weeks time to just get away from it all and DH is pulling a sickie from work. LOL. DH is okay about Fostering as he was adopted, so understands the whole thing.

Dadora - yes my mother said dad just had to wink at her and she was pregnant. That is why she can't understand that it could be me and my eggs. She said nonsense, its hard to explain to her. Sorry AF arrived, I had to giggle on the go nuts on cocktails but Fiji sounds devine.

#83 AmberSpark

Posted 25 June 2013 - 10:05 AM

A bit quiet in here at the moment! How is everyone?

The DHEA is starting to kick in, my hair by the end of the day is like an oil slick and I have to wash it daily now, can't even leave it a day. No pimples or Acne but I am trying to do my facewash every day.

#84 Sariele

Posted 25 June 2013 - 11:17 AM

I'm sorry I've been absent, the TWW sends me a little crazy sometimes and I need to keep my distance.

I'm 6dp5dt and have been getting faint BFPs the last two mornings, but it wasn't much darker this morning so I'm not convinced it's anything more than a chemical/ectopic right now. Hopefully tomorrow's test gives me more reassurance.

On the plus side, it's my first ever "real" BFP (apart from chemical squinters), so that in itself is pretty exciting!

Amber - My skin and hair were awful on the DHEA... funnily enough now that I'm off it, my skin has been terrible the OTHER way; the past week it's been so excessively dry that even moisturising every few hours it's still getting dry and flaky, yuck!

Just think about all the good things it's doing for your ovaries. original.gif Look at me, three months on the stuff, and I end up with 5 blasties and a possible BFP. Amazing.

Edited by Sariele, 25 June 2013 - 12:17 PM.

#85 AmberSpark

Posted 25 June 2013 - 02:20 PM

Woo Hoo Sariele - that is amazing and I have everything crossed for you. I have never had a BFP so I can imagine how excited your are trying not to feel. I will be watching tomorrow. ph34r.gif

#86 Sparky10

Posted 25 June 2013 - 06:44 PM

Sounds very promising Sariele. That is early to be getting a positive so any line is a good line at this stage. FX this is the one. Now if only we can all get such great results from DHEA  hands.gif

Not much happening with me. I enjoyed having a bit of a break from IVF but really want to get back into it now. I really wish I could start this month but unfortunately I still have another 5 weeks to wait for the DHEA to work it's miracle (I hope). I'll be testing on Saturday to see if I get a natural BFP this month but don't have very high hopes as I haven't had any symptoms.

#87 MRae

Posted 25 June 2013 - 07:22 PM

Hi, I'm here too.  All went well with my double embryo transfer yesterday. This time I had acupuncture before and after the transfer so I hope it makes a difference.  Now the TWW... Testing next Friday.

Good luck Sariele.  I hope you get a nice sticky one (or two!) there.

#88 AmberSpark

Posted 26 June 2013 - 10:24 AM

Good Luck MRAE - I hope the wait until next Friday doesn't send you too crazy.

Sparky 10 - Its funny how we just want to jump back on. I am only 3 weeks into the DHEA, so have a long way to go.  I am praying for the miracle in between too.

AFM: My mum rang me the other day to tell me she had a dream the night before about a grandson, that was calling her nanzy and tell her to jump in the water with him. She was totally freaked out by it and felt she had to ring and tell me straight away. I hope it was an omen. I'm an only child, so no chance for her to be getting this grandchild from anyone else. !! Freaky

#89 Sparky10

Posted 26 June 2013 - 12:46 PM

Good luck MRae. I hope this is your time.

Amber - Hopefully it's a good omen.

#90 Sariele

Posted 26 June 2013 - 03:19 PM

Good luck for the TWW MRae. I hope it doesn't send you crazy like mine is. wink.gif

Amber - sounds like a good omen to me. original.gif

AFM I had a darker line again today, and a positive digital. I'm still not convinced this is a sticky, and I already feel sick at the thought of seeing the lines fade away, or getting a bad beta next week. Not to mention way down the track getting to 7 weeks and finding out there's nothing there... I hate that repeated IVF cycles have deprived me of being able to find joy in the BFP I've longed for for 3 years.

#91 Sparky10

Posted 26 June 2013 - 05:56 PM

Hi Sariele - I agree. It completely sucks that the process takes all the excitement out getting a BFP. If I ever get one again (I had one 2 years ago but it resulted in MC) I won't be able to relax until at least the 12 week mark.  It really isn't fair. That said, I still think it is a great sign that you are getting lines so early so I think you should try to hold onto a decent amount of hope that this is the one for you. I really think it is. The first twelve weeks will suck but at least after that you will still have 5 months to enjoy being PG. I'm crossing all my fingers and toes for you. When is your official test?

#92 Sariele

Posted 26 June 2013 - 06:37 PM

Thanks Sparky original.gif My BT is on Monday. I'm going to the GP for something unrelated tomorrow though, and I was wondering whether to get a sneaky early BT from her. I wouldn't mind getting my progesterone checked too.

I stupidly did an evening test on a whim just now, because I hadn't peed for a few hours and was wondering if it would be darker than this morning's... but it's FAINTER than YESTERDAY morning's! ohmy.gif I threw the stick out; I don't want to see a much fainter line right now. I just have to keep believing that tomorrow morning's will be fabulously dark.... unsure.gif

#93 estel2

Posted 26 June 2013 - 08:33 PM

Hi everyone,

Sarielle-it sounds very hopeful. Monday must seem along way off.  But hopefully things will keep heading in the right direction so hang in there!

MRae - good luck for the TWW. Best wishes for a good out come.

Amberspark - hopeing this DHEA treatment will go well for you.

AFM -I had my scan yesterday. All seems ok- had the right thickness (even had 6 follicles but they shouldn't cause any problems) so its all go. I thought I'd be having the transfer on Saturday - but it has been set for Tuesday so still a way to go.

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