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Day 14: Choose one moment when you stop what you’re doing and really listen to your child.
7 replies to this topic
Posted 17 September 2013 - 01:37 PM
Kids do appreciate our attention. We can't give our kids our undivided attention every day all day. That isn't realistic - and in fact, not even ideal. Kids do need to learn that they are not the centre of the universe!
But it is lovely to give our kids some undivided attention when we can.
Choose one moment today where you stop what you're doing and really listen to your child.
In the same way that you really listened to your partner or friend on Day 09, this time really listen to your child. Ask them a follow up question, get them to talk more about something that's occupying them, and really listen.
It can be an enriching moment for both you and your child.
Posted 17 September 2013 - 02:06 PM
My 4 year old and have a long conversation in bed last night, she shared a few fears with me and by really engaging with her I felt like I was more able to set her mind at ease.
I was also really amazed at her ability to articulate her fears to me.
Posted 17 September 2013 - 08:21 PM
Gawd this made me realise how often I'm not really listening...just trying to get through everything I've got to do!
Posted 17 September 2013 - 10:45 PM
Amy that's wonderful!
I try to engage with my children every day and am working on getting better at it because I know that it can prevent those horrible melt downs! It's not always easy that's for sure. Dinner is a regular time that I ask my 3 and a 1/2 year old how she is and, on the days she's been at day care, what things she did that day and if she enjoyed herself. I'm trying to get better at watching for signs that things are heading to a bad place and intervening by sitting down with whichever child needs it before that happens. I've definitely been working on ways to encourage my daughter to talk to me about how she's feeling, but it's hard because when she's in an overtired/hungry stage she just plays with me! I suppose like a lot of things with children, we have to be ready when they are!
Posted 18 September 2013 - 10:46 PM
I think you are spot on Morgaine71 there is no formula and most of the time we have to work with their schedule and try to be available when they are ready. No easy feat!
Posted 19 September 2013 - 02:33 PM
I've been going for walks with my daughter and chatting about her friendship issues. It's lovely and brings us closer too!
Posted 26 September 2013 - 05:08 PM
Similar experience here on friendships with me & my Dd- she's moved up to the bigger 3-5yr old room in her childcare so there are older Kindy kids there with established friendships so i know she's still settling in, establishing her own sense of identity and belonging in that room and amongst her peers.
One night last week I was serving up her dinner and she mentioned that one of her friends told her to 'go away' when she tried joining the group for play. I stopped what i was doing and took a few minutes to listen & talk about the circumstances around that, how that made her feel and I reassured her that this girl is her friend and didn't mean to hurt her feelings and was probably not aware of how it made her feel, and that she should try to play with her again next week when she goes. I tried to not make a big deal out of it for my Dd as I know kids these age are still really young and don't fully realise (or can process) the consequences of their words & actions:) hmmm am not looking forward to primary school then when real schoolyard bullying can happen! 0_0
Posted 20 November 2013 - 04:12 PM
My bed time routine with my 4yo DS is always "talk time" (when he talks and I listen about anything he wants to talk about!) and then "story time" (he picks the books he wants me to read)
So, I discovered in our recent talk time session that he sometimes has an 'argument' with a friend over some toys but they always seem to patch up soon! or atleast I can now check on it and encorage him to let go of any hard feelings
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