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Parents Chat - Born November 2013
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Posted 10 February 2014 - 10:48 AM
Thought I'd kick off the new thread.
There has been a group of women chatting from IVFers DIG Nov 2013 and now we've moved over here. Come and join us
Posted 10 February 2014 - 06:28 PM
Found you! Thanks for setting this up gc_melody.
I hope your DD's reflux is getting easier each day. Definitely great news that she's achieving her milestones. It can be worrisome when something like a choke episode puts doubt in your mind that all is okay.
Milano, you've given me inspiration on going to a Mums and Bubs movie session. I've wondered how we would get to see a movie now and so I'm going to suggest it as an outing with my mother's group. You make me smile at how much you're enjoying your DS. I hope all is still going well. I'm like you with the frozen embryos, I'm happy with my DD and not really looking much past that at this stage. She's all that I can manage right now!
April, well done on your DS's weight gain! Woohoo! Keep up the good work!
clrw, another great post on your DD's weight gain. 95th percentile! Wow! That is impressive!
Bree, hope all is going well with you and the family. How has it been with your DD going back to school? She must have hated going back when it was so hot. How is the feeding with your DS going? Gotten any better?
Sorry I've been quiet of late. DD and I have been having a time of it wrt BF'ing that's for sure. I'm still walking around the house to get her to feed properly. The only time I don't have to do this is at night when she's sleepy. I've now bought a sling as my arms and shoulders are shot. She is putting on weight and growing well so I'll keep doing whatever it takes. The LC was no help really which was a shame. I'm going to go to another one.
Edited because it formatted terribly!
Edited by Tranter, 10 February 2014 - 06:31 PM.
Posted 14 February 2014 - 12:06 AM
I hope everyone can find us ok on the new thread.
Tranter - clrw deserves the thanks for our new meeting place I'm sorry to hear you're having a rough time of it with BFing. Any ideas on what's causing her to be so distracted? DS was little like your DD. He seemed to want to be concentrating on everything except the job at hand. I never could work out why myself. The sling is a great idea ! What kind did you get and has it helped any? Is it tricky to feed with a sling? You sound like you're doing a wonderful job under trying circumstances with DD putting on weight. I hope your shoulders are feeling better with the sling.
clrw - thanks for suggesting the move across. It probably makes more sense than being 'archived' How is everything going for you? I haven't tried the chart yet as I haven't had the time to make one that will engage him. I had thought of putting on a few things. 1. Listen to Mummy and Daddy 2. Using our inside voice 3. No jumping on or off furniture 4. Picking up toys after play. I figure if I give him a stamp for each successful day doing each of them each day (so four stamps and before bath time), he can put his own sticker on. What do you think? Have I complicated it?
milano - Movies ! Oh my goodness, I've forgotten what's it's like to sit in a cinema. You've inspired me. Maybe I could treat myself and go to a Mum's and bubs session. How did your DS go with the loud noise? Did you enjoy the movie. The book has long been a fave of mine. Re: Sleeping - Yes, DD is the same as your DS. When I think I have her waking/sleep/feed times understood, she changes. She's a bit all over the shop at the moment and I'm not sure how much is due to her reflux and how much is developmental. I hope you're getting some restful sleep.
Hi Bree and April. I'm looking forward to an update from you two.
AFM - DS's behaviour has been erratic but on the upward trend. I've been making an effort to have one on one time and we're both really enjoying it. There's still meltdowns but nothing like what was happening (thank God!). DDs reflux is taking it's toll on the whole family. She choked on the acid the other night and DH and I felt our gut go into knots watching her trying to breathe. She cleared it just before I cracked and went to call and ambulance. I called her paeds and he's made an emergency appointment available to us tomorrow to talk about where to next. The choking was the last straw among a few symptoms and issues. It's scary and I hope he has some suggestions for us....or a magic wand. Other than reflux and cmpi, she's a dream baby. Such a happy, smiley and contented little girl. She has an easy temperament and is a joy to spend time with.
Hope you're all tucked into bed safe and sound and getting some decent zzzz's. Night all xx
Edited by gc_melody, 14 February 2014 - 12:14 AM.
Posted 14 February 2014 - 12:41 PM
Glad the parents thread has kicked off. I'm good, just a bit busy. I'll write soon.
Happy Valentines to all. I hope you can all grab a special moment with your partners. I'll be making a Red Velvet cake (don't panic, just a packet one) with DS when he wakes up for DP.
Posted 15 February 2014 - 02:44 PM
Oh wow GC that sounds scary. I hope the peed came up with some useful answers yesterday?
CLRW Yum I love red velvet cake (even packet would be great) I have always wanted to make it, but I never have food coloring in the house so never tried.
I made DH Rocky Road with marshmallow, nuts and raspberry lollies (i don't like cherries)
I'm taking photos of DS each month in a theme and in December will make a calendar for grand parents. January theme Aust day, February Valentine's ect it's also designed to show his growth. So I found a box of chocolates in a huge Hart so bought that so I have my Valentine's prop.
I think I'm slowly getting on top of the sleep issues, but as you said GC as it's sorted, he goes and changes the rules.
I have always wanted to go to a mum's n bub's movie. But have not done it yet.
My understanding is they turn the sound down and leave light on so it's easy to deal with bubs if required.
We are off on your first family holiday next weekend, for 10 days, just going to Margaret River region (about 2 hrs drive) I'm really looking forward to it.
Posted 15 February 2014 - 09:41 PM
Happy Belated Valentines ladies
clrw - how did your red velvet cake go? I've never eaten one but I got excited at the thought. I'm thinking claret, moist, maybe white chocolate...ok I'm drooling now
april - Wow, a holiday ! Enjoy every moment. I hope you have a wonderful time. Ahem, I love the Margaret River. Never been there but the wine is excellent imho I love the idea of a themed 12mths worth of photo's. I might pinch that idea so we can make a family calendar for ourselves. I usually give them as one part of a gift to my own parents, siblings and ILs but got a groan this year from BIL. He won't be getting any more ! The Rocky Road sounds delish, can you post a recipe please?
AFM - We had out appointment with the paeds yesterday and he is as concerned about things as I am (thankfully, you know how sometimes they give you that ...'ummmm you're Mum who is panicking for no real reason' looks). He made an appointment for this coming Tues morning for DD to do a barium meal test to check her GI tract. He also upped her dose of meds to 20mg and asked me to give her adult antacids instead of infant ones. They're stronger apparently. Next step is a referral to a paeds gastroenterologist and allergist to work out what else is happening for her. No-one really is sure whether the reflux is being influenced by the cmpi or are two singular things. I feel a lot better that we have an action plan as things can't go on the way they have been. one foot in front of the other...DS has had days and days in a row of being a treasure to be around. Like I said before, there are still tantrums but nothing of epic proportions like there used to be on a far too regular basis. DH is passed out on DS's bedroom floor, poor guy is working way too hard. DD is asleep in her Moses basket and I'm about to eat a beautiful veg Thai curry I made. The house is quiet and I'm feeling blissed out. Doesn't get much better does it?
Hope you are all having a great night. xx
Posted 16 February 2014 - 08:51 AM
Hope you are having a nice weekend.
Tranter -'I am so sorry to hear of your BF issues. Wow, having to walk around to feed must be so hard. How is your back? Mine has been so sore just from lifting DS constantly so I had a remedial massage last week which helped. I hope things settle down for you in the feeding department soon.
GC - gosh you poor thing, and your poor little DD, the reflux issue sounds terrible. I hope you get some answers on Tuesday, you and your DH must be exhausted. It's time you had a break from this reflux! Yes you should go to a mums and bubs movie. It's great. I went again this week. They dim the lights so its dark but you can still see. DS didn't mind the loud noises, he fell asleep for a bit and sat on my lap for the rest. Everyone else there is in the same boat so some are crying, some people are standing and rocking their little ones. But you can still manage to watch the movie surprisingly. I wasn't sure about it before I went but now I wouldn't hesitate.
Hope you enjoyed you Thai curry - yum!
Clrw - how did the red velvet cake go down? Sounds yummy!
April - your calendar idea sounds fun, I wish I had thought of that! And how nice about your up and coming holiday. Sounds lovely. Have you got a travel cot for DS? We are going to go away for the VIC long weekend in March so I will have to get a travel cot this week.
Hi to Bree!
AFM, things are going well. DS has settled into quite a good sleep pattern. He goes down between 6.30 and 7, up between 3 and 4 for a quick feed then down again until 7ish. We are very lucky.
He is growing so quickly - into most 00 clothes now. He is very long. And he is quite strong with his neck and likes to try to sit up already. My little newborn is no longer!
We got our frozen embryo invoice in the mail this week. I am going to pay it and put it away for the next 6 months. Definitely not ready to make any decisions on that yet.
Hope you are all well.
Posted 18 February 2014 - 02:56 PM
Thanks clrw for suggesting the new thread. Much better than being archived! Did the mod ever get back to you? You inspired me with your red velvet cake and I got to baking on Valentines day too. I made an orange syrup cake and it went down a treat.
gc_melody, great to hear how well your DS is going. Are you still managing to get the one on one time? Your DD's reflux sounds really awful and I feel for you. I like how you're taking it one step at a time and sounds like you've got a good paed how is taking her condition seriously. I hope her barium meal test gave some insight as to what's going on. On a lighter note, I wouldn't be giving your BIL a present this year either and recipe for the thai veg curry please!
April, your rocky road sounds perfect. I don't like cherries either I absolutely loved the Margaret River when I visited and indulged in WAY too much wine. Enjoy the holiday. 10 days is great, we only managed 4. I love your monthly photos idea of your DS! It will make a fantastic calendar. Although I'm a month behind... I'm going to steal it
Milano, wow! What utter bliss your DS's sleep schedule is! Do you mind sharing what a typical day of meals and naps looks like too? I'm really at a loss with my DD. He sounds like he's just thriving. 00's already! What a great job you've done after all your BF'ing stresses. I did the same as you on the frozen embies. Not ready to make that decision just yet.
AFM, I'm still walking my DD around to BF. My back is actually getting used to it but my wrists are giving out. Our night feed used to be the exception but on Sunday night I walked every one of those too. She's also taken to sleeping only in 3 hour stints and feeding every 3 so we have both moved into the nursery at night so that DH can sleep. I haven't cried so much over this mum caper as I did Sunday night. Just when you think you're doing okay and sort of know what you're doing, they change it all up again. Yesterday I spent most of the day at a friend's place who has a DD a week younger than my DD. We talked a lot about the struggles we are both experiencing and I came home feeling like I don't totally suck at all of this
Posted 19 February 2014 - 06:42 AM
Hi everyone, sorry I've been MIA
As usual I keep meaning to reply Don't get to it once I've read everyone else's updates. This will be a quick one and hopefully I get back in later.
Everyone sounds like they are doing fairly well at the moment which is good news. Although GC it sounds like you and your DD are doing it tough with the reflux. It must be terrible to watch her in pain. I hope the increased meds can make things a bit better. How did the barium test go?
Milano that's a great sleep routine you are in.
We have been sick here the last week. So DD2 and DS have had very disrupted sleep so I'm feeling a bit sleep deprived after having DS sleep 8 hours at night since 6 weeks.
DS 's choking issues have got much better although he still has some issues
so still following it up but not as bad as before thankfully.
He has reached that stage where he gets distracted during a feed and keeps pulling off during a feed. Great when you are feeding in a waiting room and milk sprays everywhere when he pulls off during let down!
How dies everyone settle the babies? I've never been good at settling without feeding (except after sleep school). DS is awake until 11.30/12 each night. He will go to sleep feeding or sometimes with walking/rocking but will not transfer to bed without waking and will not settle in bed. He is better in the day, I can usually pick up the tired signs and walk/rock him until he is asleep. Occasionally he will go to sleep when drowsy and not asleep. I really want to avoid sleep school this time if I can. I think I will borrow The Gentle sleep Solution book again bit wondering what everyone else does.
Edited by bree18, 19 February 2014 - 06:43 AM.
Posted 19 February 2014 - 12:30 PM
Milano - great sleeping routine ! What's your secret? Does your DS nap well through the day as well? Wow, your DS is developing well, trying to sit up already? DD can hold her head well but slumps forward still when I sit her on my lap. I have to hold her head otherwise it drops forward or backward. You've sold me on the Mums and bubs movie sessions. I think I'll take myself to one next week as a treat.
Tranter - you poor thing. You must be exhausted. You do not suck at being a mother. Your baby is just developing and getting more interested in her surroundings. This is a good thing ! The issue is once you've settled into a routine, the little monkeys go and change it on you. It happens to pretty much most of us at some time or other.
Your post reminded me I got sore wrists with DS and the Dr said something about Mothers Wrist. It goes away but can be quite painful from memory.
I've been thinking of some suggestions for you re: feeding. I'm sure you've thought of seeing a LC or CHN but have you considered Chewlery? I've just bought a couple of necklaces and I'm trying them out. We're only on day 2 so I can't really tell you if it's working for us or not.
The idea is that they are funky looking necklaces that are BPA free, teething beads as well as something for baby to focus on instead of being distracted by other things. DD is doing the pull off thing but it's increasing lately. I know I have a slow flow which she has always been impatient about but expressing, I'm still managing to get at least 70-80ml or more which is about 3/4 her feed. She feeds 6-7 times p/day so on her weight of 5.5kg, she should be taking roughly between 92-107ml p/feed.
The ABA has links for breastfeeding necklaces here http://www.shireaba....eding-necklace/
I went straight to the Chewlery so I didn't double up on teething stuff. The Chewlery I got from here http://babybutton.co...teething-blings and here http://close2baby.co...cone-jewellery/
Re: BIL - yep, no photo gifts for him from now on. He can take his own if he wants photo's of his niece and nephew. My bet is he'll have a whine about not getting any photos around later this year. The Thai curry was delish but I cheated. I used shop bought red curry paste for this one. I'll write out a great Chiang Thai curry recipe for you from the Spirit House in Noosa for you and post it up. It's d.i.v.i.n.e ! One to make when you have time for spending in the kitchen.
Bree - great to hear from you ! Not so great you and the kids have been ill. I hope you're feeling a bit better today. Great news about your DS's choking episodes as well. It seems like he is starting to grow out of it - very happy news ! As for settling.....DD has done the double change on me again. She settles ok at night times probably because she is so exhausted, but she is an imp though the day. I do a lot of rocking and pacing. I'd be a sixe 8 now if I stopped eating so much I've just introduced a comforter. I noticed she was starting to need to either hold my fingers or a wrap or something to settle. So I got her those little comforters. I have several actually so they can be washed. It seems to help. I have one that is a 'tag' blanket with little tags sown around all the edges, one side is fleecy and the other is textured. One has a little bell sown inside Tigger's head and works as a rattle for her as well as comforter. The other is a cute organic cotton elephant head one I got from a local chemist. This is her fave at the moment, she mouths the trunk and ears and rubs the cloth in her fingers and hands. She snuggles into them and settles much easier with them than without. I've also introduced a dummy so I'm not the comfort sucking machine. Both help her settle better but I'm still doing the pacing and rocking until the sleep association with the comforters kicks in. Maybe this could help you?
AFM - DD's barium went well. She doesn't have any major structural problem other than refluxing frequently. This she should grow out of. In the meantime, she's on adult antacids and 20ml of Losec. It seems to be taking some of the pain away for her but we're still having screaming sessions, just a little less frequently. DS and I are getting some 1:1 time when I can swing it. If DH isn't home, we do things like play doh, drawing, play car games (he seems to want to crash them atm...boys!) and we dance to The Wiggles together. All the while DD looks on from the bouncer thinking we're bonkers I'm sure. When I have him on his own, we go to the park usually or play on the slide in the yard or with the hose. What kid doesn't like running under a sprinkler. This big kid still likes it DH is working away a lot more so it's busy and tiring during the day and during the bath/dinner/teeth brushing/ bed routine it's a wing it thing. It's working mostly but I am totally knackered. I can't work out if it's an age thing being an older Mum or the usual reality of life with two littlies. Doesn't really matter in the end I guess. We're all good though. If it'd rain sometime soon, it'd be even better !
Posted 21 February 2014 - 02:44 AM
This update is more of a vent really. It seems that we all have our struggles with our precious babies and mine and DD's is reflux. This is a bit of woe is me post and tomorrow is a new day and I'll probably feel differently but I need to tell someone.
We've had an exceptionally bad day today. DD has basically cried, screamed, kicked her legs and arched her back through the days and nights since my last update. It's the wee hours of the morning and she is finally asleep, exhausted. I'm more spent than I ever thought possible. I've been in tears from helplessness, overtiredness and simply just being over being the rock for the family.
DH is depressed and said the other night he wished we didn't have a second child. He was fed up with DSs toddler emotions, fed up with DDs crying and fed up that he isn't getting enough sleep. I almost slapped him (I did mentally) but had to walk away to keep my mouth shut before I said something that would be damaging for all of us. We've waited so long to have our beautiful babies and went through so much to meet them it feels cruel that they have both had additional challenges. DS being prem and all that brings and DD with reflux and choking episodes. Where I am finding the patience for the children is anyone's guess but there is none left for anyone else, including DH.
I'm having a little pity party for myself tonight. I wish I had someone who could come and care for the kids for a little while so I could have a decent shower, sit in silence, have a swim in the ocean, anything just for myself, with only myself. I've been envious of others who have outside help but know that I should count myself lucky both my kids issues are most likely to resolve with age and maturing of their little bodies. But right now all I can say is this is getting really challenging and I so wish I had people who would take turns to look out for me. Bring dinner, hold DD so I can shower or sleep, talk to without judgement. But I don't. My family are interstate, my closest girlfriends are too. The friends I have where I live have their hands full with their own lives.
I thought tonight if an adult presented to the ED or a Dr in the pain DD is in, they'd be given very strong pain relief and every effort to work out asap what is happening for them and fix it would happen. Why as Mums are we told to ride it out? To wait? To manage with meds that don't bloody work? It's not fair to our kids or us or the other members of our families. Why is it Mums are supposed to be the rock ALL the time?
Reflux is a tough, tough gig to manage. I didn't think anything would be as challenging as having a prem. Well, this is. Silent reflux - you suck.
I needed to get that out. Thanks for giving me a space to do it.
Posted 21 February 2014 - 05:09 AM
Oh gc if there was ever a time I wish I could jump on a plane it would be now. I'd give you that time to swim in the ocean or shower or snooze or do whatever you desired because you are an amazing mum. You have that patience because you're strong and will always be there for your kids. It's okay to cry and get angry because this silent reflux sucks balls! Then coupled witha toddler I'd have been sending invites to my pity party WAY before now! Yes you'll probably feel better tomorrow (and I do hope so) but this is what we're here for. To provide support and a place to vent in times when you want to scream, cry, slap your partner or all of the above!
I hope you managed to get some sleep and know that I'm thinking of you. I really appreciated your post and links to the chewellery. There's been no change with myDD so am looking into making some purchases. Thank you
Edited by Tranter, 21 February 2014 - 05:10 AM.
Posted 21 February 2014 - 02:15 PM
Oh GC, I really feel for you. I hope you and your DD managed to get some rest. It must be terrible. It would be very hard without support people to help you out. Is there any chance of a family member or friend coming up to help out for a little bit, a long weekend even?
It's hard when your DH is depressed and feeling the way he is about parenting at the moment. My DH felt like this for a while and it felt like I'd lost the one person who was supposed to understand and share the parenting with me. It makes you reluctant to ask them for help etc.
Do you have child are or occasional care centres around that you would feel comfortable using? I can't remember if DS is in childcare now or not. Would you feel comfortable leaving DD for a morning once a week or so to get some time out?
I know it's not the same situation but when I'm feeling over it all I put both the little ones in the pram and walk. Usually DS goes to sleep and DD is quiet and it makes me feel better and almost like I've hard alone time. Being a mum is so hard but it sounds like you are doing an amazing job in difficult circumstances. Vent whenever you need to. Sending hugs to you.
Posted 21 February 2014 - 04:48 PM
Oh GC you poor thing, wish I could help you in some way. You say that the friends you have near you are busy with their own lives but I'm sure if you tried to talk to one of them and tell them what you've told us that they would give you that time out you need. It doesn't hurt to ask for help. You really need a break.
I hope you have had a better day today and were able to get out for a walk or something as Bree suggested. Fresh air can do you the world of good.
Please let us know how you are.
Posted 22 February 2014 - 01:22 AM
Thanks so much for the support gals. You've made me cry with gratitude xx
Bree quote - It's hard when your DH is depressed and feeling the way he is about parenting at the moment. My DH felt like this for a while and it felt like I'd lost the one person who was supposed to understand and share the parenting with me. It makes you reluctant to ask them for help etc'
You hit the nail on the head bree ! I know I should care more about how he is feeling but I don't right now. I'm cranky with him and want him to put his game face on. Easier said than done I know. But this is what I want him to do right now.
DD has had a better day today. Only two serious episodes today which is a big improvement on the past couple. My outlook is better too. Sometimes a pity party, a cry and a vent with some 'to hell with it' foot stomping does some good.
Getting out is hard, too hard sometimes. She's more than unsettled, it's full on screaming and back arching. I have to hold her upright and pace and rock and pace and rock until she conks out. I also have to have meds close by as they have to be mixed up and taken immediately. I take then everywhere, as I've been caught out once and it was horrible. I had to run into a chemist and buy some antacids and ask them to help me mix it up. I do get out, but not on the kind of days we've had.
My Mum isn't well atm and she's really the only person who could come up and help out a little. My Dad is the sort of grandparent who will send card and gifts but he hasn't even made any mention of even flying in to meet his grand-daughter yet. but that's a whole other saga. All my siblings have small children and one is going through a divorce. DH's family are hopeless. I've mentioned them before. They say in front of others to just ask if we need anything but when I ask for help, they always have something else to do or it's 'a bad time'. My friends here have newborns themselves or run several businesses while juggling school kids and after school/weekend sports so they're really not in a position to help out as such. The one friend who babysat DS while we were doing IVF has had an operation last week so I can't ask her. It's just us, DH and I. He worked a 12hour day today but looked after DS this morning so that was something and I managed some extra sleep which made a difference.
Today I arranged an appointment for a massage and facial tomorrow (I told DH he has both kids tomorrow afternoon and I told him it was non-negotiable). I've also booked in a hair appointment next Tues to get my hair cut into a new style to make it easier to care for (I have waist length hair and I'm going to have half the length cut off for easier maintenance). DS is in kindy that day and DD will come with me. Unless she has a serious reflux day we can hang together at the salon. I've also made a tentative champagne catch up afternoon next Tues afternoon with a friend for a couple of hours. I told DH this is also not negotiable and he has to make himself available to care for the children. I'm also going to check out what movies are showing and go to a Mums and Bubs movie. Again this will be pending her reflux. I feel better having made a few plans to look after myself.
Uni starts again next week and I'm wondering how on earth I'm going to do the work I need to do if this keeps up. But I'll work it out. I intend to graduate in October and after working towards this for years, I want my graduation dress up.
Again, thank you for your support and kind words. It means a great deal. You're all very kind women. xx
Edited by gc_melody, 22 February 2014 - 01:33 AM.
Posted 23 February 2014 - 03:38 AM
Gc I'm so sorry for your issues, but glad you seam on top of it now and your making appointment to do things.
You will feel better for a haircut and refreshed look.
Have you looked into seeing a councillor or similar, you may be suffering from post natal depression, and if you are you have ever right to, but even if it is just a pity party you may get real value from taking to a professional, DH as well. If you get refered by your GP it is then claim-able from Medicare and once over the threshold ends up costing less then $20 I believe (my dh went through depression and anxiety for a bit and found it so worthwhile once he got over the initial unease of taking to a stranger)
AFM we have started our holiday and it is amazing just to get away.
Yes DS has a port-a-cot and we had him sleep in it the week before we left so he was use to a new bed in familiar soundings. It's done him well as he started to only have one wake up at night fingers crossed.
It's my b'day today (Sunday) I generally make a real big fuss, but this year feels different, I guess for the first time I'm not the most important person to me :-)
I am trying to get enough ebm so I can have a few drinks but I onlyget about 30 mls each time and start a bit late, so my need to save it for through the week.
Oh well back to bed.
Hope everyone else is doing well.
Posted 26 February 2014 - 09:50 PM
Thanks April for your kind thoughts and suggestions.
Happy Birthday ! I hope that you are having a wonderful time in Margaret River and the whole family is enjoying a relaxing and celebratory break. I think I know what you mean about birthdays feeling different now. Before it used to be all about me and now, well....it isn't and that isn't a bad thing. Just different if that makes sense. Have you managed to get enough EBM for a feed? Expressing is a pain but when the goal is worth it, bearable. How's DS going in the portacot? I hope he has settled easily in it for your holiday.
How's everyone else going?
Sorry I haven't gotten back to you earlier. It's been a bit full on here and there's not been much time for myself to write a reply.
April, I had PND with DS so definitely know what to look out for symptoms wise. I don't feel that I'm in that space now thankfully. Just sleep deprived and over feeling like I have to maintain the being strong position for the family all by myself. DH on the other hand, well.....he is exhibiting similar signs I recognised in myself with DS. My take is that his life didn't really change all that much when DS was born because he left a lot of it to me. This time however, he has to step up and I think this is a bit of a shock for him. That and lack of sleep and never really having been around babies and little children before. It's all new for him. We've talked about seeing a counsellor before and being a typical guy, kaboshed the idea. He did have a chat with the GP and has started antidepressants so on some level he has recognised he needs to be proactive and something isn't quite right for him.
I think I just need a place to vent and feel supported. I always pick myself up after I end up in a heap but I find a vent is pretty cathartic. Well, that and a sob session Helps the tension out. My massage was fabulous. In fact so good I booked another one in 2 weeks time ! The hairdresser had to cancel so I've rescheduled that and I caught up with one of my crazy-busy girlfriends and had a glass of wine the other night. It felt good to be me without DH and the kids for two hours.
Posted 28 February 2014 - 02:24 PM
GC, I'm so gald you feel on top of things now, and can see the difference between PND and what you are going through, and yes it is hard to get men to get help, but it's great your dh has spoken to the GP, one step at a time.
Please feel free to vent, that is why we are here.
My dh bought me a voucher for a massage last yr for my birthday and 2 weeks latter I found out I was pg, so didn't get to use it. I did go and get it done in January this year, and trully loved every minute of it. And I also book in another 2 weeks later I have one massage left. Bliss :-)
DS is doing well most nights he has been having 2 wake up as usual, but last night was 3 and he didn't want to go back down so dh got up at 5.30 with him MIL got up at 6.30 sent dh back to bed and looked after him until9 when we go back up.
I have managed to get a full feed took a 3 days and 6 express sessions but accomplished. So dh and I are going out for dinner tonight.
How is everyone else going?
Edited by April2608, 28 February 2014 - 02:28 PM.
Posted 06 March 2014 - 05:06 PM
Just touching base. How are you and you bubs going?
April - have you had your massage yet? Hope it was nice and relaxing. How was dinner with DH?
AFM-all good here. DD looks like she's turning a corner. The reflux is settling (I think, no serious episodes for a few days now). Life is good
Posted 06 March 2014 - 06:40 PM
GC- I'm glad to hear that DD's reflux seems a bit better.
Hope the holiday went well April. Happy (very) belated birthday.
DS's sleeping in the day has gone haywire. He barely sleeps and it's starting to catch up with him. He has gone from sleeping a lot and being happy to sleeping very little in the day time and being grumpy. It's making it very hard to get anything done. I'm going to have to really work on getting him in to a day sleep routine because this is not working for anyone. I need to work out a way to get him to settle without feeding or walking around rocking him.
Posted 06 March 2014 - 07:18 PM
GC I am glad to hear you are feeling better about things. Makes such a difference when you feel good and positive about life. Fingers crossed the nasty reflux stays away!
Bree sory to hear that the sleeping has become non existent during the day. I hope for your sake its a growth spurt or a leap and passes quickly. Sounds like he just wants comfort all the time. Must be exhausting!
April how was your dinner with your DH? Hope it was a nice night.
AFM, DS has his first cold poor little thing. His nose is running and watery eyes and sneezing. He is not too unhappy though and temp is ok so I'm just trying to ride it out. He had a big 3 hour sleep this afternoon and went straight down at 7pm tonight so at least he is getting rest. Hopefully it'll be better by the morning.
Posted 07 March 2014 - 09:59 AM
I've heard there is a sleep regression around 4mths which can last a couple of weeks. DD doesn't sleep through the day but cat naps in 10-20min stretches so I know how difficult it can be to get stuff done through the day. I've modified what is possible to achieve in any one day. I feel like crap if there is a bit to do and it doesn't get done, so I plan on one or two things a day. If that means a quick and easy dinner, so be it. Only doing the washing, so be it. I'm hoping to ride it out and reassess in a months time. As for how to get her to sleep, Ido the pace and rock, pace and rock. Sometimes I try and feed her to sleep, anything that works atm. Hope things improve for you soon.
Hi Milano - I hope your DS is feeling a little better today. Have you tried Fess for babies? It works a treat on clearing snuffly noses from colds. DS had loads of ENT issues and we lived by Fess to help him breathe easier and feed ok.
Posted 07 March 2014 - 11:33 AM
GC- your DD and my DS seem to have very similar day sleeping habits! I remember DD2 having her four month sleep regression. She was always a bad sleeper but it just got worse from that point on and didn't get better until we went to sleep school to save my sanity. At least DS still sleeps through once he gets to sleep at night (even if it is 10.30/11.30). DD2 didn't sleep through until after 1
Milano- I second FESS. Fantastic stuff. DS has had a couple if colds and it's horrible. I get the drop one and put a few drops in before a feed or anytime he needs it and usually that helps clear him up a bit. I was told by peadiatrician not to use the sucker bulb that comes in the pack as it can damage the lining of the nose.
Posted 08 March 2014 - 11:36 PM
Sounds like it Bree. If we lived closer to each other I'd suggest getting together and they could entertain each other and we take turns doing stuff ;-)
Do you dream feed just before the next wake a night? I've found it works to set us up for a happier day following.
Posted 10 March 2014 - 07:19 AM
Hi lovely ladies,
Sorry I've been so absent. The weeks just keep flying by...
GC - I'm glad things are looking a little better with the reflux. I can imagine it really rocks a household. Like everything else it will pass but it would be hard for hubbie to see it like that if he is depressed. Big hugs to you.
I think we have had the 4 month regression here too. We had a couple if very grumpy catnappy weeks with night wakings. She is now too aware to sleep in the living room so the bassinette is in our bedroom in the day and the living room at night. We are now back to normal night sleep and more defined day naps. There isn't much overlap with DS's day sleep so we are more housebound on my days with both of them but we are busy enough on the other days anyway.
I've also noticed she is easily distracted at the boob now. A wrap over her head helps. I haven't had to feed in another room yet though. Little missy is also chomping down on my nipples and turning her head the last two days. Ouch! (Teeth?? No!!!).
I have to confess I've been addicted to a Facebook baby & kids buy, swap, sell page for my area. Whoopsie. Been buying up big for the little lady.... I've got three tubs of clothes ranging up to size 3. I can't help it - so many bargains! Designer stuff with tags still on for $10 that would be $60 new (which I would never pay!) and things like used tights for $1/$2 each instead of $10-13 per pair new. I think she is sorted now though and DS's winter wardrobe is sorted. No more buying!!
We also bought DP's cousins car as she is going OS. It's a i30 hatch so just that little bit bigger than our Micra. The anchor points for the car seats are most importantly at the back of the seats not at the front of the boot so no more working around straps in the boot!!
Have a great day!!
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