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What to do about this kinder issue?

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#26 Mumma3

Posted 27 March 2014 - 02:56 PM

As the parent of a child who did not receive his diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome until yr 2 (almost 8 years old) I would bow at the feet of a kinder teacher who raised concerns about my child.

I would also ensure that the paediatrician is a developmental paed. And, it is important to note that many, many parents find that the initial "normal" assessment of their child is turned over a couple of years later, and a formal diagnosis made.

A good, experienced kinder teacher who has seen your child in a group for 12 hours, will have a much better insight than a paed who has seen him for an hour by himself.

#27 katniss

Posted 27 March 2014 - 03:00 PM

OP, teachers are not qualified to diagnose but they do notice things to bring to the attention of the parents. It's up to you if you want to follow it up or not. I don't think they are judging or pigeon holing him.

My DS4 has been at Kindy 8 weeks & his teacher has recommended he see OT & speechie. They might turn around & say he is absolutely fine. But I'm happy to have checked.

My DS6 on the other hand, got all the way to the end of the year, had a bad report which the teacher still didn't recommend an interview then I find out they think he has auditory processing issues. I would have rather heard their concerns earlier in the year so he wasn't struggling all year.

View Postmayahlb, on 27 March 2014 - 12:57 PM, said:

In WA there is no 3yr kinder either. 4 yr kinder yes but not a 3 yr old program unless some sort of thing is run through daycare.

WA does have 3yo kindies. They are privately run & are standalone (not part of a day care).

#28 Fright bat

Posted 27 March 2014 - 03:45 PM

I think it would be nice if people stopped giving the OP a hard time.

She didn't fob off the advice of the teacher. She took it on board. She went to see a paediatrician. The paediatrician gave her no cause for concern. She is happy with that advice for now especially since she herself previously had no concern.

I don't think the OP is resting on her laurels. I am sure she will be vigilant to watch her son and take him back to see the paed (or a different one) if she or others also notice things of concern.

Of course diagnoses have been missed. But lets not forget that there is a huge spectrum of normal. And while I fully support campaigns to raise awareness of disorders on the spectrum, and the provision of early intervention to allow kids to reach their full potential - I also don't think that attempting to diagnose every kid who is actually just a bit individual is especially helpful either.

I think it is also important to keep in mind that these diagnoses are hard for anyone to make - because not all kids on the spectrum present in the same way, and because there is a huge range of perfectly normal.

While i accept that the advice that not all paeds are created equal is well meaning and heartfelt from many PPs, it is also pretty misplaced to suggest that a paediatrician who does not have a long waiting list is less worthy than one who does. Lets not forget that new specialists are minted every year, and many of these new specialists go away and do extensive additional training (usually at their own cost) with world experts in specific areas of their interest. To the point where their knowledge and skill is more up to date than someone who has been in practice for 30 years. All these people have to set up rooms at some point - and at a time when their knowledge and skills are approaching a peak, they may not have a long waiting list.

Lets also not forget than not all specialists wish to have long waiting lists - some with specific areas of interest refer on patients who do not need their specific skill set. A paediatrician COULD see every referral that comes through the fax machine and work 100 hours a week. Or they could refer 80% of it (the diabetes, the asthma etc) to a colleague and only see kids needing an developmental assessment - thus keeping their waiting times down.

We are finally training and graduating enough specialists that not all specialists HAVE to see and treat everything - there are actually enough people around that people can develop their particular skill set - and this is a good thing for patients. And what we will see as years go by is that waiting times will go down.

You cannot judge a paediatrician (or any medical specialist) on their waiting times, their website, their fees, the make of car they drive, the public hospital they are affiliated with, or anything else. The best person to speak to about who is good is usually another health professional - and most nurses, GPs, physios/OTs and others are pretty clued in.

The point is that right now, the OP is not worried and feels that there is an alternative explanation for the concerns raised. Despite this, she has gotten her child checked out and the paediatrician is not worried. And the child is only at the very start of 3 year old kinder. There is ample time for early intervention if it turns out that it is needed.

Personally, I don't think the OP needs to drag her son from paediatrician to paediatrician. I think she needs to find an environment in which she thinks her son will thrive - and if he does great. If not, or if someone else raises the same concerns, I am sure she will seek another opinion.

#29 Newdisplayname

Posted 27 March 2014 - 03:52 PM

Not every Pead everywhere has a six month wait list. Our new FREAKIING AWESOME Pead had a less than month wait list. Must be our area.

#30 ..-

Posted 27 March 2014 - 03:59 PM


Edited by Jazzie123, 19 November 2014 - 11:30 PM.

#31 Fright bat

Posted 27 March 2014 - 04:12 PM

View PostJazzie123, on 27 March 2014 - 03:59 PM, said:

I will have to respectfully disagree with you.

Generalists Paeds are not the go-to specialists to assess possible developmental delays/disorders, Developmental Paeds are. Some Dev Paeds are better than others. Allied health professionals get things wrong. Some allied health professionals are very switched on, others are well meaning but clueless.

I don't think anyone is trying to diagnose the OPs child. What we are saying is that the teachers may or may not be correct, however to ensure you have the best professional advice possible, please see a well trained, experienced and reputable Dev Paed and ensure your child is assessed using the correct tools.

Many of us have had our concerns dismissed, or know people who have, only to find one, two, five years down the track that there is indeed an issue. Isn't it better to follow up with the right professionals and be as sure as you can be at this stage?

Presentations for various disorders/delays vary hugely. You do actually need a very skilled professional to tease this out. A regular Paed simply doesn't cut it.

Um... why are you going on about this? The OP has ALREADY SAID that she has been to a developmental paed that she is very happy with?

At no point in my post have I suggested that a general paediatrician is the best (or even appropriate) person to assess a child for developmental disorders. ALL i have said is that a waiting list is not a good indicator of anything, as there are a whole heap of reasons why an exceptionally good specialist may not have a long waiting list for appointments.

Nor did I say an allied health professional was the best person to do an assessment. I said that nurses, other doctors and allied health professionals usually had a very good idea WHO the good specialists in any specific area of medical subspecialisation are.

And finally - this is NOT the same as someone who has had their concerns dismissed. The OP did not have concerns. One random teacher had concerns. The OP took her child to a developmental paed. The paed did not have concerns. The OP (who presumably knows her child well) thinks that a different environment might suit her child better. She is attempting to provide that environment for him and then will assess how he goes.

I think you need to actually read what is written rather than just go on and on and on about the same point. We get it. Developmental paeds are good. The OP has seen one. :shrug:

View Post3rd time lucky, on 27 March 2014 - 12:59 PM, said:

Ah - just accidently deleted my post.
Here's a short version...

Zombie Mum - I am totally confident in this Paediatrician. He is on the list of Paed's in Victoria who can assess for ASD etc. It was a 3 week wait for initial appointment.

See Jazzie? :doh:

Edited by agnodice, 27 March 2014 - 04:15 PM.

#32 ..-

Posted 27 March 2014 - 04:21 PM


Edited by Jazzie123, 19 November 2014 - 11:30 PM.

#33 Fright bat

Posted 27 March 2014 - 04:23 PM

View PostJazzie123, on 27 March 2014 - 04:21 PM, said:

Er, yes. I do see. The OP said she has seen a Paed not a Dev Paed. No need to beat yourself up about it. :-)

"A paed who can assess for ASD"

#34 ..-

Posted 27 March 2014 - 04:28 PM


Edited by Jazzie123, 19 November 2014 - 11:31 PM.

#35 Caitlin Happymeal

Posted 27 March 2014 - 04:29 PM

OP, I hope you are ok. This is stressful. It's awful to be told someone thinks something is "wrong" with your child.

We knew our daughter had issues, I actually thought she was autistic from very early on, because of her preference for sorting things by colour, and stacking/lining up/lack of eye contact. But when the kindy teacher mentioned it, it hurt. It was the catalyst for us to put a rocket up the process of assessment though. And by that, I mean, getting in with a good developmental Paed (essential that they are developmental, not just run of the mill).

If you are comfortable with your childs' assessment with the Paed, and comfortable that the Paed is qualified to assess for developmental conditions, then you have done what you can.

As for Kindy, only you really know the "vibe" - none of us can tell you to keep him in, or take him out. I believe that my children have benefited greatly from 3 year old kindy, and are now thriving in 4 year old kindy (And as a benefit of one of our DDs ASD diagnosis, she attends a sort of special school kindy for part of the week, so has gotten a massive amount of support as a result of her diagnosis).  There are skills they learned at 3 year old kindy that I wouldn't have even thought to try to teach them at home.

If its purely social stimulation you are aiming for, I think you could manage that nicely with all the other activities you are doing.

#36 Fright bat

Posted 27 March 2014 - 04:39 PM

View PostJazzie123, on 27 March 2014 - 04:28 PM, said:

ASD is one thing  Dev Paeds may look for. There are numerous other delays/conditions/behaviours/disorders they might consider, depending on how a child presents.

Ummm... duh.

Dude, seriously, let it go. The OP has no issues with her child, no one else in the childs life has an issue with the child, and a paediatrician whom the OP believes is able to assess for 'ASD etc' and is confident in has no issue with the child. Many children referred to developmental paeds are neurotypical. Some have clear diagnoses from an early age. Some have evolving symptoms and issues and require ongoing surveillance before a diagnosis is made. On the basis of provided facts, its unlikely this child has a clear diagnosis that has been missed. Its possible that in the coming months/years things will become more apparent - or it will become clear that he is entirely neurotypical (like a huge number of children who see a developmental paediatrician).

The OP sounds like a good mum who is trying to sort out the best for her son.

The last thing she needs is being spoken down to by someone like you repeatedly telling her that her choice of paediatrician is not good enough. She has seen someone, is confident in them, and is happy with her child.

Whats it to you? Why are you so offended that she has either not seen the 'best' person around, or perhaps hasn't used the 'best' terminology to describe the person she has seen?

Edited by agnodice, 27 March 2014 - 04:40 PM.

#37 baddmammajamma

Posted 27 March 2014 - 05:14 PM

Hi OP:

I commend you for actually taking the teacher's concerns on board and following up with a paed -- I know parents who have immediately launched into defensive mode and have refused to probe things further.

If you feel comfortable with the paed's expertise and the rigor of his assessment, then you should also feel perfectly comfortable telling the kinder: "Thanks so much for flagging concerns about Lachlan. We were able to see Dr. Smith, a well regarded paediatrician, and after our initial consult, Dr. Smith doesn't believe that there are any developmental issues and that Lachlan might just need some additional time in settling in. We trust his professional judgment but of course we want to keep the dialogue open with you because Lachlan is still growing and developing ."

By not going on the defensive, yet confidently communication the outcome of the appointment, the kinder should appreciate that you are an in-tune, reasonable parent who neither wants to have her child pigeon holed OR have potential issues go unflagged. See how things proceed from there.

At this stage, I would give the kinder the benefit of the doubt -- that is, assume that they were acting with good intentions in raising concerns as opposed to rushing to judgment. As several others have said, in the whole scheme of things, it is better to have teachers who err on the side of caution.

Since the primary school has a strong reputation for dealing with more complicated/sensitive kids, I would try to assume that the kinder does as well.

However, if over time you get a vibe that the school is unduly pigeon-holing your son, by all means, reconsider. We have been big fans of 3-year-old kinder for both our child with multiple SNs as well as our sensitive NT one, but that doesn't mean it's necessarily the right call for every child. I would be inclined to keep an open mind for now, but also know that it's not the end of the world if he doesn't attend this year.

Good luck!


Now, switching gears a bit, and more broadly speaking (beyond OP's situation)I think ZombieMum and Jazzie123 raise some very important points for EB at large.

Not all paeds are equally adept or rigorous in ruling in or ruling out developmental issues(...and that includes developmental paeds, too!)

The reason so many of us mums of kids with SNs suggest seeing a developmental paed is that, generally speaking, they are better situated to look across a child's entire developmental profile. A generalist paed might not have the depth of expertise, for instance, to spot Asperger's profiles or gifted with ADHD, etc. etc. and other more "subtle" presentations.

At the same time, not every developmental paed is rigorous in his/her assessment.

For instance, there is a developmental paed in our metro region who appears to be an Asperger's/ADHD skeptic, and he has sent many a child away with a gut feeling diagnosis of "just quirky" before their actual conditions were uncovered by experts who used gold standard assessment tools.

Having been through more assessments than I can count with my daughter (and even my son), here are some things that have stood out about the stellar specialists:

* If a school is raising concerns about a child, the stellar professionals have insisted on having direct input from the teacher (via survey, live conversation, or teacher's notes) as opposed to just having it funneled via me.

* Our dud paed was willing to rule out major developmental concerns on a "gut feeling" -- the two stellar dev paeds and clinical psychologists we have seen were very transparent about the processes they were using to discern what was going on.

* Our dud paed made me feel like an alarmist mother for coming in to see her -- our amazing specialists took my concerns on board and really listened to me.

* Our amazing specialists were recommended to me by multiple parents of kids with various SNs and (NT) profiles.

Edited by baddmammajamma, 27 March 2014 - 06:16 PM.

#38 Heather11

Posted 27 March 2014 - 05:51 PM

BMJ, has made some excellent points, as usual :smile: .

Did you get the kindy to put their concerns in writing so you could provide a bit of a detailed background to the paed? Did the paed offer to contact the kindy to discuss the issues?

BMJ also gave a great example on how to discuss it with the kindy. I also think you are jumping to conclusions about the staff just like you are afraid they will do with your DS.

Edited by Heather11, 27 March 2014 - 05:53 PM.

#39 ..-

Posted 27 March 2014 - 06:21 PM


Edited by Jazzie123, 19 November 2014 - 11:31 PM.

#40 PeninsulaGirl

Posted 27 March 2014 - 06:31 PM

Are you in Vic so doing three year old kinder for two or three hours a week? If so, I'd just pull him out and do fun stimulating activities with him like play group, library story time, swimming etc. I really don't see the benefit of three year old kinder in Vic, being only a couple of hours a week I think it's too brief and infrequent. Also lots of kids simply aren't ready for it! Trust your instincts, you know your child, and the pead is the expert. Try kinder again next year and enjoy the time with him in the meantime. It goes too fast!

Edited to add... And trust BMJ's advice, it's sensible and informed as usual!

Edited by PeninsulaGirl, 27 March 2014 - 06:38 PM.

#41 saxa

Posted 27 March 2014 - 06:38 PM

I would rather a kinder teacher who has spent 12 hours with my child raise possible concern that I follow up than something possibly go undetected.

#42 eachschoolholidays

Posted 27 March 2014 - 07:00 PM

You are worried that the Kinder teacher has labelled your son, but you have made a decision about her in the same amount of time?!

She identified a cause for concern.  The paed thought your son was fine.  Great result.

Move on.

ETA Spelling

Edited by eachschoolholidays, 27 March 2014 - 09:20 PM.

#43 lizzzard

Posted 27 March 2014 - 07:57 PM

OP, just something to think about: how do you think the kindy teacher is treating your DS that would be detrimental to him? I guess I'm thinking that if the teacher does feel there are some concerns, if anything she might be more sensitive and supporotive towards him, and that can't be a bad thing?

#44 Mpjp is feral

Posted 27 March 2014 - 08:14 PM

It's very unsettling when this happens isn't it.

I echo the others that suggest you go back to the kinder and let them know what the paid has said, share his suggestions, and catch up with the kinder every few weeks to have a chat about how your son is travelling.

Not to alarm you at all....but my kids all attended the same kinder. For my middle child we had a similar situation....after a couple of months after she started they called me in and shared their concerns about dd. the examples they gave to me I felt quite defensive about (not saying you are responding this way) and I thought they were describing some pretty 'normal' childhood behaviours and reactions - albeit from a kid that was a little left of centre.

I also took her for a visit to a paed, who gave the all clear, and I went on my way. The kinder did raise other issues with me throughout her time there....but as my dd has a complicated history we put some of their concerns down to this. We were seeing a psychologist at the time too...who assessed her with trauma related behaviour and we worked on that.

At school in became clear that there actually was an issue and we now have a diagnosis for dd.

On reflection, I wish I'd listened to the kinder teachers more. The teacher was a 30+ year experienced one and had seen just about everything! The experience she had trumped a general paeds in my opinion.

Had I had my time again I probably would have looked for a dev paed much earlier than we did.

Not saying you should...just saying don't write the minders concerns off just yet and work with them and get their observations over the coming months.

#45 Fright bat

Posted 27 March 2014 - 08:16 PM

View Posteachschoolholidays, on 27 March 2014 - 07:00 PM, said:

You are worried that the Kinder teacher has labelled your son, but you have made a decision about her in the same amount of time?!

She identified a cause for concern.  The ped thought your son was fine.  Great result.

Move on.

Its very hard to move on when, despite evidence to the contrary, a kindergarten or teacher continues to treat a child in a way which is not appropriate to that child's needs.

While I'm grateful that there is a lot more awareness of developmental disorders in early childhood, and I'm hugely grateful that there are early interventions that will hopefully give some of these these children the insight and skills to deal with the challenges that undiagnosed now adults have had to face and continue to face... I also worry that perhaps there is less tolerance of normal difference.

I hope awareness results in children who need and would benefit from additional intervention having access to it; I don't want awareness to result in a homogenous classroom, if that makes sense. I also don't want teachers to think that any difference is appropriately and fully managed by referral to a developmental paediatrician - I would hope that a teacher can offer differential teaching within a classroom to incorporate the needs of neurotypical but nevertheless unique children in the class.

This is why the dismissal of a paediatricians opinion has caused me some dismay (in a setting where no one, including the parents, are especially worried). And Jazzie, I'm really sorry for getting snarky at you.

I am not suggesting by any stretch that all paediatricians are created equal, and my reservation is not about the kids who have substantial issues (for whom intervention is a wonderful wonderful thing). Its about the ones on the borderline. The ones that are unique individuals, and will be ok just as they are, even though they might not be exactly like everyone else. It worries me that these kids are being sent off to a paed, and then if a paed clears them, people wonder if the paed was really up to the task of making the diagnosis at all.

I know university academics and medical professionals and successful lawyers who have in recent years been diagnosed with ADHD or 'mild ASD' (and been given medication!) because this will help with their 'concentration' and 'productivity' or whatever. And that makes me deeply uncomfortable - these are people who have by all conventional indicators of success done well for themselves - stable career, married, kids etc - with no behavioural or pharmacologic intervention. They read about these diagnoses, they go off and get themselves tested, the diagnosis is confirmed, and they are 'treated'. Sure they might be different in some measure - perhaps a bit flighty at work, or have a slightly unusual personality - but they are normal happy people that we are 'treating'!

I worry that these the kids that we are now 'capturing' with 'gold standard' tests and offering interventions to. And if so, is that the right thing to do?

This is a question specifically for BMJ (but open to anyone), coming from a place of respect and genuine curiosity - what do you see as the value in a diagnosis that only a very few number of people are capable of making, and one which respected professionals in the field have differing opinions about? (Given we know that the DSM is a highly subjective, culturally and morally biased document, and even the 'gold standard' tests are subjective creations validated only against subjective diagnoses - in comparison to, say, and X ray or CT scan which are gold standard investigations to diagnose a broken bone, which is an objective finding). Do you worry that we are homogenising our children? Where and how do you draw a line between kids that have a diagnosis and would definitely benefit from a variety of interventions, and those that probably have a diagnosis but are coping in their own way and will be fine in the long term? Because I don't see that as being an especially easy line, and I am uncomfortable with the notion that there is NO line and we try and bring all children towards a specific norm. I'm aware that we can't always predict who will be fine and who won't and we won't know without the fullness of time... but is 'just in case' a reason enough to potentially overdiagnose?

I should add that I am not a skeptic - I have a twice exceptional ASD/gifted cousin who I have watched struggle his whole life to the point of now being suicidal... I am not suggesting that neuro-atypical kids don't deserve every skerrick of support they can get because I wish daily that my cousin (and his whole family) had had access to diagnoses and early interventions. I just don't know where the grey line ends. And I worry that by not accepting the 'coping different' child as normal, we are telling our children that difference is inappropriate and will not be accepted or catered for by our schools (unless it comes accompanied by a diagnosis, extra funding and a care plan).

I know Jazzie that you had the OPs best interests at heart and I'm sorry for snapping - but (even though its wonderful that we are normalising diagnosing disability) I worry that we are actually overall as a society becoming less tolerant of difference by expecting children to only fit into one of two boxes (and I genuinely mean overall, not you specifically).

#46 FeralZombieMum

Posted 27 March 2014 - 09:07 PM

View PostChocolate Addict, on 27 March 2014 - 01:03 PM, said:

WOW!! seriously?? Could you be any more judgey and wrong??

The pead we attend is one of the best in the area but we have never had to wait '6 months' to get in, 6 weeks, maybe but not months.

6 weeks for developmental/behavioural issues, or medical issues? As there can be a difference in waiting times - medical are seen more urgent and easier to get an appointment sooner.

Plus - an assessment can't be done in an hour. My DD's assessment took a day - hence my surprise that they had this amount of time available so soon, but going on from another thread by the OP, it seems this paed only spent an hour with her and her child.

View Posthills mum bec, on 27 March 2014 - 01:37 PM, said:

So you would take the diagnosis from a kindy teacher over a paed who can't possibly be any good because the waiting list isn't long enough?  How do you know if a paed is any good?  What is the minimum waiting time to see a paed to assess if they are a good one?  Crazy!

Paed doesn't sound very good because they only saw this child for an hour. That's not long enough to assess a child.

Some children have obvious behaviours that can fall under the ASD 'label' that can be picked up by some kinder teachers.  I've picked up autistic behaviour in siblings of my kid's classmates, long before these children received an official diagnosis. Just by watching them in the waiting room outside kinder. 10 minutes here, 10 minutes there. Sometimes it's extremely obvious, other times it isn't. I also find it easy to pick out many of the kids in school that also have ASD, because of their behaviours. (it's also easy to work out who they are because some of their classmates have worked it out too, and like to get them upset. :( )

View PostMumma3, on 27 March 2014 - 02:56 PM, said:

As the parent of a child who did not receive his diagnosis of Asperger's syndrome until yr 2 (almost 8 years old) I would bow at the feet of a kinder teacher who raised concerns about my child.

Wished my DD's kinder teacher had said something. I found out years later that this teacher would have had access to a kinder support worker who could have come out to observe my DD and could have helped with services and referals. The teacher was fantastic in not pushing my DD when my DD was moody (she must have known my DD had an ASD because of the way she dealt with her), but I really wished she'd spoken up - could have saved us years of pain. :(

I really wished we'd known that DD1 wasn't being naughty when we were 10 minutes late to drop her off at creche - we thought she was attention seeking because she refused to go into the kinder room and clung onto us. It wasn't until years later that I realised we broke her routine on those days - she needed to go into the other room first, to have a quick play. Then she needed to walk into the kinder room when the teacher arrived.
A label would have helped us not make all those mistakes. :(

My DD was 9 when she FINALLY received her diagnosis. She'd been seeing a general paed every 6 months since she was 5 years old. He dismissed in the first session that she could have Aspergers because she was 'playing' with the toys in his room. If he bothered to pay closer attention, he would have seen that she wasn't playing with the toys in a normal way. She was using a 'script', something I didn't know about until years later.

View PostFranni, on 27 March 2014 - 03:52 PM, said:

Not every Pead everywhere has a six month wait list. Our new FREAKIING AWESOME Pead had a less than month wait list. Must be our area.

Was this for an assessment in relation to behaviour and/or development, or medical related?

View Postagnodice, on 27 March 2014 - 04:39 PM, said:

Ummm... duh.

Dude, seriously, let it go. The OP has no issues with her child, no one else in the childs life has an issue with the child, and a paediatrician whom the OP believes is able to assess for 'ASD etc' and is confident in has no issue with the child.

I believe the OP has posted issues with her child in the past.

Unfortunately it's an all too common theme - that general paeds are dismissing concerns brought on by parents or teachers. Parents struggle with parenting their child, because they are doing what is supposed to work, but reality is the child needs a different approach of parenting.

Child misses out on early intervention.

Child misses out on being eligible for the Helping Children with Autism Package. I know way too many kids that have been seeing paeds for years, and just when it's too late, the paeds admit maybe it is ASD they have been dealing with and these kids are too old for the package. Or they are diagnosed just in time, but can't access any of the services because of lack of specialists and long waiting lists.

Parents miss out on the Carers allowance and health care card (and reduced medications) because some paeds are too afraid to 'label' kids.

Sometimes parents aren't willing to accept their child might be different and cover up for their kids. I know I did that when my DD1 had her 3 year old assessment with the MCHN many years ago. I also dismissed some of the behaviours as being related to her 'giftedness'.

#47 eachschoolholidays

Posted 27 March 2014 - 09:19 PM

View Postagnodice, on 27 March 2014 - 08:16 PM, said:

Its very hard to move on when, despite evidence to the contrary, a kindergarten or teacher continues to treat a child in a way which is not appropriate to that child's needs.

But there is nothing in the post that says that that was the case.  The issue appears to be that he was referred in the first place.

#48 twinklestars

Posted 27 March 2014 - 09:34 PM

Hi, I haven't read all the responses so sorry if I repeat what someone else has said.

My DS started preschool this year (we're in the NT). He's 4. My DD went to the same preschool but started when she was 3 due to where her birthday fell in the year (they are only 14 mths apart in age but will be 2 school years apart). I was glad it worked out that way, my DS wouldn't have been ready to start preschool at age 3 and I probably wouldn't have sent him. I do feel they would have indicated some kind of developmental issue. But what a difference a year made! He turns 5 in July and has slotted into preschool life with no dramas at all. No separation anxiety, he's made friends easily, he's excited to go each day etc.

It would most definitely not have been the case if he had started when he was 3. My DD was a bubbly little 3 year old with heaps of confidence so was fine, but my DS really benefited from that extra year with me.

So, it just may be he's not quite ready and you'll find 12 months down the track will be a totally different story xxx

#49 yellowtulips74

Posted 27 March 2014 - 09:37 PM

Hi OP.  I have three short things to add:

1. My nephew has autism.  The first paediatrician they saw (when he was 4) was adamant that it was only a language delay, definitely no autism.  It was another year or so before he was diagnosed.  That was a very difficult year for my sister.

2. As a teacher of young children, I have had to raise concerns with parents on a few occasions.  It is not easy to do.  You are lucky to have teachers who care so much.

3. Your Kinder teachers have (I assume) years of experience - they would have taught many many children who are slow to settle in.  It's unlikely to be just that.

If I were in your situation, I would get a second opinion, just to be on the safe side.

#50 blimkybill

Posted 27 March 2014 - 09:38 PM

Just wanted to say - Agnodice you have articulated all of my discomforts and worries around this whole issue, but which I couldn't work out how to say. I work in the field but I have some niggling discomfort around expanding diagnoses. I also have discomfort around what I think is the likely reality that some diagnoses are being made to chase funding.

Anyway - my view OP is that 3 year old kindergarten is not necessary.  In my state most children do not do it. Only keep sending him if you think he is gaining something from going there. Otherwise do lots of appropriate stuff with him like drawing, puzzles, construction, sand play, socializing, playdough etc, and send him to Kinder next year. Good luck. .

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Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.