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12 Year Old Bored


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#1 luv2travel

Posted 06 November 2014 - 12:49 PM

A couple of times recently, my 12 year old daughter has had her ipad taken away.

My problem is, although she does have controlled time on her ipad, when she knows she doesn't have it for a length of time she becomes unbearably annoying!

She says she is 'bored', doesn't know what to do etc etc so she ends up annoying her younger sister, annoying me, making silly noises, being naughty etc etc. She's turned into this crazy hyperactive tween. It gets to the stage where I just want to give the ipad back (which I won't!)

I'm not sure if she's doing it so I will give it back or she is genuinely bored. It worries me that she can't find anything else to do. In addition to her ipad she likes to make videos with the camera but I have banned that too - in fact no electronic products for a week. She's at the age where she doesn't want to play with toys and finds it hard to play outdoors without a friend.

Any suggestions on what she could do and what activities your kids like to do? I have tried suggesting reading, drawing, cooking but "that's boring" etc. I have also given her lots of chores to do which she hates in the hope that she will go and amuse herself instead but it doesn't work.

Thanks!

#2 SplashingRainbows

Posted 06 November 2014 - 12:54 PM

Sport?
Music?
What videos does she make and why don't you want her to do this? IS she creative? Does her creativity need extending by helping her edit her films, develop story lines and characters etc?
Does she write?
Drama club?

#3 Therese

Posted 06 November 2014 - 12:57 PM

What about listening to music ? That seems to work sometimes for my 14 year old when she is bored.

#4 Rachel70

Posted 06 November 2014 - 12:58 PM

Sport or some kind of after school activity.


#5 Hellbent

Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:00 PM

Something outdoors.  Do you have a trampoline?  I find DD 12 likes to "bounce" out her frustrations.

#6 Seven of Nine

Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:02 PM

How about this book? It's full of self directed projects kids about her age.

#7 luv2travel

Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:13 PM

She does taekwondo and girl guides but I'm talking about stuff at home. She makes videos about putting on makeup (yes!) and I've banned access to the video camera and other electronics because she didn't follow rules. This includes any editing of her movies on the computer.

I don't want her to join any other clubs or other things out of school or home, just to be able to amuse herself at home without annoying everybody else!

#8 jcricket

Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:13 PM

If she is creative and likes working with her hands then there is lego, meccano, pottery, papier mache etc.etc.

eta.giant pizzles or 3d puzzles?

Edited by jcricket, 06 November 2014 - 01:15 PM.


#9 luv2travel

Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:14 PM

and yes we have a trampoline, that lasts about 5 minutes.

#10 beccaj

Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:24 PM

read, do the dishes, the laundry. lego, wash the windows, dance party, sweep the porch.

pretty much the order of ideas I give my 9yr old seems the lego and dance party win most times.

#11 aprilrainatxmas

Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:26 PM

I think sometimes it just needs persistence. Yes she may be bored, but not enough to entertain herself. I think it is a learnt skill.

Does she do it to get your attention? Could you try to give her ALL of your attention for 1/2hr and then she might be happy to drift off.

This was a suggestion in a Florence Littauer book, saying that her (Younger than yours) daughter would follow her around nattering about a Dr Suess book. She realised if she just took a small amount of time and really focussed on her she was happy to go off and do her own thing.

Good luck. I have 4. The oldest and youngest can entertain themselves with next to nothing. The middle two - aarrgghh!

#12 DM. 2012

Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:35 PM

I am interested in this too, I have an 11 year old boy who never has any idea of what to do when he doesn't have a screen.

Your daughter may like to do this this link is for Australia Geographic but I have also seen it at Dymocks book shop.

http://shop.australi...lay-charms.html




#13 4ORmore

Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:45 PM

How about learning how to make her own (natural) makeup and body products?  it might give her something to vlog about when she gets her electronics back??


We get ours to hang the washing or another chore, outside play(trampoline,bike,chalk, waterplay when hot), or quiet bedroom play (read, lego, draw).  My kiddies however are aged 3-9 so a bit younger than your DD.

#14 luv2travel

Posted 06 November 2014 - 02:21 PM

I like the idea of making her own makeup. It prevents her stealing mine!

#15 remlab

Posted 06 November 2014 - 02:26 PM

Put them out in the backyard with a packet of balloons and lock the door.

#16 JustBeige

Posted 06 November 2014 - 02:33 PM

I went through a stage where I think my most used phrase (apart from No)  was "Its not my job to keep you amused.  If you want me to find something for you to do you can do XYZ (list of chores).  You have tonnes of things / activities /crafts that you can do"

I would say this if I knew that they were being painful.


If I thought that they are genuinely needing company, then I would get them to help cook dinner or talk to me about school - ' the 3 good things about school today ' is a good way to get them to start talking.  Also asking them about their peers and what makes them such good friends.

I make them a milo / hot chocolate and they can sit and drink and I listen while I am (usually) cooking dinner.

#17 dancermum12

Posted 06 November 2014 - 02:38 PM

View PostJustBeige, on 06 November 2014 - 02:33 PM, said:

I went through a stage where I think my most used phrase (apart from No)  was "Its not my job to keep you amused.  If you want me to find something for you to do you can do XYZ (list of chores).  You have tonnes of things / activities /crafts that you can do"

I would say this if I knew that they were being painful.


If I thought that they are genuinely needing company, then I would get them to help cook dinner or talk to me about school - ' the 3 good things about school today ' is a good way to get them to start talking.  Also asking them about their peers and what makes them such good friends.

I make them a milo / hot chocolate and they can sit and drink and I listen while I am (usually) cooking dinner.

This is exactly how my mother used to deal with it. She was always willing to spend time with us when we needed it but it wasn't her job to keep us constantly entertained. There is a neverending list of chores she could help with and if she's not interested in that she can find something else to do.

At that age I used to read and write a lot while listening to music. Making her own makeup and body products is also an awesome idea if that's something she's interested in. Could she also call a friend on the landline and have a conversation the old fashioned way :)

#18 Anemonefish

Posted 06 November 2014 - 02:39 PM

Get her some books to read? Or get her started with some craft projects (sewing/crochet/painting/friendship bracelets) that she can pick up whenever she's bored. My 11 year old is making some cross-stitched bookmarks as end of year presents for her 2 class teachers, and she does a bit every weekend (hopefully they'll be ready by the end of term!).

I also like the PPs idea of making her own make up & vlogging about it. Google 'Crunchy Betty' for ideas.

#19 lucky 2

Posted 07 November 2014 - 08:45 AM

Dd has a water bomb kit that she can spend ours with ($8 Kmart).
She likes to make lists and plan things, like play dates and parties.
Like you the trampoline will last for 5 mins.
She spent 45 mins without any "entertainment" whilst I was at an appointment the other day.
She whinged a little and had her pouty face, I explained (again) that this is normal, that there will be times when waiting is unavoidable and she could count the freckles on her arm is she needed something to do. And I avoided looking at her.
I'll be having her without any input or distractions more and more, good luck to me. I refuse to provide all the entertainment.
When we are at home and I need to get things done, having her join me and chat can help and she sometimes gets an idea for another list. She loves her lists.
This is a timely thread, this issue does my head in a bit.

#20 EmbraceTheScrunchy

Posted 07 November 2014 - 08:51 AM

Recently my 12 yr old dd started gym classes. She loves it.

It's nothing fancy - just a bunch of kids on gym mats in a big tin shed, but a good enthusiastic teacher has helped.

She has dragged out the spare mattress and practices her cartwheels and somersaults.

It is something perhaps she could get her younger sibling involved in too.

PS - a small local drama class has been a hit as well.

#21 wilson99

Posted 07 November 2014 - 08:54 AM

My girls are into taekwondo and when they are bored they make up their own pattern to music or practice their moves on the trampoline

#22 coolbreeze

Posted 07 November 2014 - 09:21 AM

Being not bored is a learned skill.

We have had only very limited internet via our iphones since July. Long story with getting our NBN connected.

My dd has reconnected with the pleasure of reading, cooking and scootering, jumping on the trampoline, trying new dance moves and improving her flexibility (this was a skill she wanted to acheive this year and she is finally making the effort, rather than just saying she is bored or on the ipad.)

Honestly the joy I get seeing her reading for pleasure far out ways the lack of internet sevice at present! I remember the feeling of being totally captivated by a book when I was her age and I am glad she finally gets it too.

She is quite busy with dance three times a week and she has a friend over for a play every second weekend or so for the afternoon. But mainly she just learning how not to be bored when she is at home. It is a great skill to learn.
CB

Edited by coolbreeze, 07 November 2014 - 09:27 AM.


#23 Sentient Puddle

Posted 07 November 2014 - 09:38 AM

Yep - like pps - any child who declares themselves "bored" in my house gets a list of jobs to do.  Any child who is here on a play date and wants to play on a device after I have declared them off limits first gets a list of jobs then the option to go home.  I do have slightly younger children though OP at 7 and 9.




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