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I haz bebe <3

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#1 c.sanders

Posted 13 December 2014 - 05:56 PM

Our bub is 8 days old and it’s so hard to write this as he keeps waking up every time I sit at the computer and I’m just a mix of emotions. I feel really really sad that I can’t be there for DS1, can’t pick him up or tickle him, can’t bathe him or change his diaper. DS1 has been sooo good. He knows it’s mummy’s baby. Only he and I are allowed to hold the baby. He hugs and kisses and bathes him. It makes me teary. I have been irrationally angry at DH. He did all the right things, cooked, brought me things I would like. But he was so emotionally cut off from me. He told me 2 days ago that it’s hard for him to be close because he doesn’t want to put any pressures on me…which is selfish…I guess I shouldn’t undermine his feelings either. At least I understand it a bit more and it’s made me less crazy. Being stuck at home is really tough too…but I’m so paranoid that bub will catch something.

I made countless lists and even sent ones to DH to make sure that everything went to plan. I wanted a spinal, I wanted staples and I wanted skin to skin contact.

I literally traipsed into admissions on Friday morning (last week) excited but absolutely terrified. Last time I went through this I was in so much prolonged agony that the surgery was a relief…this time I was wide awake and I felt like I was going to the execution chamber. I couldn’t focus on the fact that we would be meeting our baby.

I was  so nervous, I forgot to take off my underwear and only realized once they had wheeled me in. In the prep room the anesthetist explained everything including the side affects. The canula hurt like hell. As did the anesthesia in my spine. But once the spinal was in, I started tingling all over…and suddenly…I couldn’t stop laughing! I asked them between bouts of laughter if this was also a side affect…but they said no, and started laughing at me. I felt so great! Our dear son was born soon after, and his cries were so loud. They let us have skin to skin contact and I was able to take him to recovery to breastfeed.

He was healthy and bigger (height and weight) than DS1. But he has some kind of button like bump just above his bum. It’s a form of spina bifida but it may be mild since his legs are functioning well. We have to take him to a specialist next month and it may require surgery. This has plagued us since our morphology scan so I’m just not going to think about it because there is nothing we can do for now.

Proud to say we came home 2 days later on Sunday and it has been so amazing. Worlds apart from the first time. I actually feel like I could do it again. Not that I want to now. tbh I don’t think I would want to try naturally conceiving again with all the problems we have had.

There were some negatives, like having to wait in recovery for a bed for 5 hours…that first shower (I was so dizzy and nauseated)…and some crappy nurses and doctors, but overall…it’s not worth thinking about and we are so lucky that our public health system has so many well trained and dedicated staff …I really don’t know how they do it.

Can’t help but add a wdyt:

1. DH suggested that since I am leaking so much, why don’t I express the milk and give it to our 2.5yo…is that weird or normal? I’ve never considered it before.

2. Do people really wait 6 weeks to dtd??? I was very traumatised and depressed last time…

i would love to add a pic but EB won't allow me to upload anything.

#2 Furfeathersfleece

Posted 13 December 2014 - 06:11 PM

Big congrats!

Glad to hear he has arrived safely.

#3 a letter to Elise.

Posted 13 December 2014 - 06:28 PM


I gave expressed milk to my 2.5 year old. He asked if he could have some. I wouldn't let him breastfeed directly as he wouldn't have remembers how to suckle. He had it in a cup and thought it was very funny.

I won't tell you how long it took for us to DTD, but it was many many months. So six weeks doesn't seem that bad! Breastfeeding kills any interest for me.

#4 JustBeige

Posted 13 December 2014 - 06:37 PM

Congratulations to you :D   I hope everything settles down soon.

1> I have heard people do this.  a mum I knew used to put it in her coffee :blink:

2> *snort*  No way for me!  I was still a walking zombie at that stage.

#5 Coffeegirl

Posted 13 December 2014 - 06:45 PM

Congratulations!   I'm sure everything will be going smoothly very soon.

No reason not to give DS1 some milk if he asks.  I gave some to DD in a cup as she was curious and didn't remember being breastfed (I only fed her until she was 8mths)

As to DTD. We did about 3 weeks after DS as I felt amazing, even though I had a vaginal birth.  OB said it was fine as long as I was comfortable.  But it was closer to 6 mths after DD as we were both too shell shocked to even think about sex.  We did have lots of hugs and cuddles though.

#6 GlitterFarts

Posted 13 December 2014 - 06:51 PM

Aaww congrats! Love a positive c/s story!

Breastmilk - do it! I did it for all my kids, its great stuff and also good for gunky eyes of all ages :grins:

Edited to add -I was still in and out of hospital at 6 weeks due to complications,  and I'm so scared of falling pregnant that 9 months later we still haven't DTD. Lol

Edited by GlitterFarts, 13 December 2014 - 06:53 PM.

#7 HolleyShiftwell

Posted 13 December 2014 - 06:55 PM

Congratulations x

In asnswer to 1, I don't see why not?

2. With DS1 about 6 or 7 weeks, DS2 no tearing so about 4 weeks - no section with either so that may make a difference

#8 omongomong

Posted 13 December 2014 - 06:59 PM

Congratulations on your new baby!

It's not weird - it is human milk after all. But I found my DS didn't always like the taste of breastmilk when it wasn't from the breast directly. So I used to hand express into tiny molds and freeze it. He LOVED it, said it tasted like chocolate ice cream.

When he was 3 years 3 months, he suddenly asked if he could breastfeed again, and I said yes, and his latch was perfect - even though he weaned at just shy of 2! He has fed here and there ever since.

With regards to sex (do I have to say DTD??) - with DS1, 9 weeks after. With DS2, probably 9 months after! My DH and I sort of hibernate when they are small - we are just too tired. Then when the baby is around 1 we get back to it.

I can't stand the so called 6 week rule. What a joke. Have sex when you feel like it, and any partner who pressures you to have sex when you don't feel like it can go jump.

#9 BetteBoop

Posted 13 December 2014 - 07:56 PM

Congrats OP.

Save that precious milk for anyone who will drink it. There is nothing weird about a 2 yo drinking milk.

#10 BetteBoop

Posted 13 December 2014 - 07:57 PM

Not happy about the lack of photo. Instagram link?

#11 greenthumbs

Posted 13 December 2014 - 08:24 PM

Congratulations c.sanders!

How lovely, I'm glad it went well for you.  Even though our DS2 is only 10wks, I'm jealous of a squishy new one!

Human milk for human babies/toddlers - go for it!

Sex for us, 7 or 8 weeks first time around. 6 weeks this time as I missed the closeness. But only once since. Too tired and I'm not fully recovered and feel funny about certain bits of my body. There is no hurry, everyone is so different.

Not sure if you're wanting to or not wanting to. I think you're supposed to wait until bleeding has stopped, but on the other side, only try when you feel ready.

#12 PooksLikeChristmas

Posted 13 December 2014 - 08:33 PM


#13 Future-self

Posted 13 December 2014 - 08:46 PM

Congratulatiosn and thank you sharing some of your story!

1. Not weird at all.
2. Ha. Lol. I don't how long it was after DS but definitely in the months camp. We hugged and held hands and cuddled though and enjoyed that intimacy.

I don't  think I really understand what's going on with your DH or why he's being distant but I'm glad you;re communicating and he's started sharing his thoughts with you.

#14 Eggg

Posted 13 December 2014 - 09:10 PM

Congratulations on the new bub!

#15 c.sanders

Posted 14 December 2014 - 12:01 PM

Thank you. I really didn't think it was possible for me to have a positive birth story.

To clarify...i don't think i can wait 6 weeks this time...tmi :p

I guess it is hard for dh since he doesn't have all these hormones rushing through him and he is feeling like his usual self.

This bub is sleeping 4hour blocks at night...which is very diff from ds1. But he completely loses the plot if he doesnt have skin to skin contact even when sleeping. He regularly opens his eyes to check or wont let go of my finger. I love the newborn stage too!!!

Funnily dh said that bub's breath smelt like chocolate...so maybe breastmilk does taste like chocolate :)

#16 greenthumbs

Posted 14 December 2014 - 09:07 PM

View Postc.sanders, on 14 December 2014 - 12:01 PM, said:

To clarify...i don't think i can wait 6 weeks this time...tmi :p

I thought that's what you meant. Yeah, pretty sure it's a case of wait until the postpartum bleeding stops, otherwise you risk the chance of introducing stuff you shouldn't as your cervix could still be a little open (I think that's why anyway).

But seeing as you had a cs, check with your GP or even phone your midwives to ask. Perhaps you're good to go whenever!

Just thought I'd add about the expressing though, don't forget your breasts will settle into supply and demand, so if you're regularly expressing a whole breast regularly, they'll keep making that much. If you're just expressing for relief, shouldn't be a problem. I just wouldn't want to trigger a larger supply than necessary unless I was planning on expressing it regularly (although the boobs will always adjust if you stop I suppose).

#17 c.sanders

Posted 14 December 2014 - 10:44 PM

Good point pp. I really can't be bothered..ds2 has hung off me all day...a pump wont be fun and ds1 weaned only 6 months ago.

any ideas as to why eb won't allow me to upload pics??

#18 froglett

Posted 22 December 2014 - 08:58 PM

1. Go for it! Milk is milk ;)
2. After Ds, DH and I got back into it 2 weeks pp. He was very gentle, but I really wanted to. I think it was a case of loved up hormones taking over post birth. I had an emergency CS, but still felt ok.

Enjoy those newborn snuggles x

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