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Do I have to send my DD to 4yo Kinder? (vic)

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#1 Baggy

Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:43 AM

I have a DD in prep (grade1 next year), and a DD who starts FYOS 2016.

Next year, she's supposed to start 4yo Kinder, but I didn't enroll her. I wanted to keep her home the year before school and work with her myself.

She comes with me to help out in her sisters classroom, while I do readers etc. She joins in with her sister listening to the teacher and what not.

I believe she will be fine going to school without 4yo Kinder behind her, and I was looking forward to working with her at home. Plus, the Kinder hours are all over the place, so I just find other eaiser to keep her home.

However, I have recieved quite a bit of feedback of friends and family. Most have said they think 4yo kindy is a MUST, and its mandatory to send her.


#2 Gudrun

Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:52 AM

No you don't.  Life's easier without it.  I wouldn't bother.

It made no difference with mine starting school.

#3 JRA

Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:53 AM

It is not legally necessary. If you are working and finding the hours difficult, daycare has kinder rooms which she could be part of (assuming you can get her in).

I must admit I am surprised a younger sibling is joining in the classroom of older kids.

#4 Mooples

Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:53 AM

It's not compulsory but very beneficial. The reasons you want to keep her home are for you, not her. Being at home with mum isn't going to help her social skills or develop the school routine.

At the end of the day though it is your decision.

#5 dadwasathome

Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:55 AM

The nationally agreed target is for all kids to have access to and attend preschool of some form in the year before starting school. I agree with Mooples.

#6 annodam

Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:55 AM

I don't see anything wrong with it but they'll be plenty of others that will come in here & state otherwise.
My 2 went straight to school so were with me until they turned 5yo.

Oldest will be in Yr 8 & youngest starts Prep next year.
I was/am a SAHM though, not that that makes any difference.

Do what's right for you & your kids, don't worry what others do/say.

#7 Ritaroo

Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:02 AM

For me, going to kindergarten is just a normal part of their schooling and I woundn't even think about skipping it.

It's not only about the academics, she will also learn about how to be more independent, work to a routine, be familiar with and learn to listen to other adults part from mum etc.

Of course you don't have to send her but I can't see why you wouldn't.

#8 Baggy

Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:04 AM

JRA, it's a small school and there was only 14 children in her class this year.  

She's very good at following instructions, and doesn't disturb any of the other students, so the teacher doesn't mind her joining in for 45  - 60minutes, while I'm helping with readers/show and tell etc. She also comes to some school excursions with me.

#9 Gudrun

Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:13 AM

Totally normal younger siblings coming in when their parents help out with reading at my granddaughter's very large primary school.   They'd be mighty short on help if they discouraged that.

#10 Hollycoddle

Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:19 AM

Agree with Mooples, I thought the point of preschool was socialisation and introduction to routine eg. lining up, listening and focusing on what the teacher is saying, manners, etc.  I'd be sending her, if you can get her in.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 30 December 2014 - 11:20 AM.

#11 deedee15

Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:24 AM

Even if she is going to school with you while you are reading, she is not socialising with children her own age in that more structured format.
I think you are doing her a disservice by not allowing her to go at all. You don't have to have her attend every kinder session.

Edited by deedee15, 30 December 2014 - 11:24 AM.

#12 MrsWidget

Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:37 AM

View PostJRA, on 30 December 2014 - 10:53 AM, said:

I must admit I am surprised a younger sibling is joining in the classroom of older kids.
My DS1 was in prep this year and I often took DS2 in when I helped out or went on excursions.

H, I guess it depends why you want to keep her home. I suspect you could do a lot at home but the two areas you'd need to look at are socialisation with similar aged kids and the introduction to a more formal environment.

Does W want to go to kinder? All up you're no dummy so im sure whatever you decide will be thought out.

#13 MrsWidget

Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:39 AM

Just a thought, why not enrol her and see how you feel later in the year.

#14 Datrys

Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:46 AM

I started a similar thread a while back and got flamed for even thinking of keeping DD home.

I can see benefits and drawbacks either way.  If you do keep her home, I'd think it'd be helpful to be quite intentional and strategic about how you structure that year for her.  

But I don't see it as inherently wrong or causing disadvantage.  Good luck!

#15 Mrs Claus

Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:49 AM

No it's not compulsory but it is of great benefit. 3 kids in my DSs class this year hadn't done kinder and you could tell. They didn't know how to listen to instructions, they didn't know the routine and 2 of them have ended up repeating

#16 Expelliarmus

Posted 30 December 2014 - 11:56 AM

It's not compulsory but I wouldn't contemplate not giving children access to preschool.

#17 fols

Posted 30 December 2014 - 12:01 PM

I personally think the benefits definitely outweigh the negatives but it is your life and your children so I respect your decision. Here's a couple of my thoughts.

I do think socialising with children their own age is important. Does your younger DD have play dates with kids she will be going to school with? Are there some younger siblings from your older DDs class?

I also think its good to be learning and following instruction in a group situation away from you. This could be swimming, dance etc if you choose not to do kinder.

#18 caitiri

Posted 30 December 2014 - 12:08 PM

I think for most kids kinder is beneficial but I don't think it's essential.  My DS had a disaster year of 4 yo kinder I wish I had pulled him out and kept him home.  We have one other child at DS school who went for 2 weeks before her parents pulled her out and it certainly hasn't  negetively affected her FYOS

#19 MerryMadrigalMadge

Posted 30 December 2014 - 12:15 PM

My DD starts prep this year and there are very firm guidelines that no siblings allowed at parent help sessions, so I suppose it depends on the school.

DD loved her local kinder - the hours were 9-3, 3 days a week, just a local community kinder and I found the hours fantastic.

I know I could have never replicated the learning by play at home, let alone the amazing array of craft she did. It's only 10 weeks a term, 3 days a week - so 120 days in total, so she still spent two thirds of the year with me.

To me, it was an essential part of her development and I never considered not sending her.

Ps because I was a SAHM and without her 3 days a week, it meant that the 4 days with her were all about family time, visiting friends etc, because everything - shopping/cooking/cleaning/me time was all done in her kinder hours. I think her going actually enhanced our time together.

#20 Phoenix13

Posted 30 December 2014 - 12:26 PM

I don't think it's a problem if you decide not to send your DD to kinder.

However I do agree with fols re spending time away from you. If she doesn't attend any activity/care where she has to deal with a large group of other children away from you, that might make the transition to school a bit more of a shock for her (even though she is familiar with the school environment).

#21 JKTMum

Posted 30 December 2014 - 12:28 PM

It is up to you in the long run, 4yo kinder is not compulsory but in my experience is beneficial.

With DD2 I was taking her into DD1's Prep classroom on a weekly basis to help (we were there for 90 minutes on the days we helped, the entire first session). She was already reading simple books by then (she taught herself to read) and was happily engaging in the class for that 90 minute lesson. The teacher had also taught my DS for Prep so knew DD2 very well and would even let her answer questions if her hand went up first in grouptime. :)

She still got heaps out of 4 year old kinder when she went the following year. She learnt how to interact with peers and other adults without me being there in the room. She learnt to take care of her own belongings, she learnt that she was ok on her own and I would come back and get her at the end of the day (her kinder had 5 hour sessions so it was quite a long day for them).

We did have a couple of kids in each Prep year who didn't attend kinder and yes you could usually spot those kids. They often didn't separate well (although even kids who go to kinder can have separation issues starting school) but other things like not being willing to ask for help (or conversely being too dependent on the teacher to do everything for them), not being able to take turns and wait, not being able to talk infront of a group of other children or listen appropriately when others are talking and they need to sit still.

There are usually a fair few options for kinder in most areas, as others have said if sessional kinder hours don't suit then often you can do long daycare kinder.

As I said at the start the ultimate decision is yours but really look into why you want to keep her home and what other avenues there are to allow her to experience activities away from you and in group settings to allow her to get used to those things before starting school. School can be very daunting even to the most independent of children, being one of 20 or more children (even 15 if the Prep numbers stay the same as your older DD) and having to deal with the larger playground numbers, taking instructions from teachers, having to follow rules about when to eat, asking to go to the toilet, not being allowed to go out of the room or out of the designated play areas at recess and lunch can be quite overwhelming for a child who has only ever had the full attention of their parents and a small number of other carers.

#22 Therese

Posted 30 December 2014 - 12:32 PM

Preschool (in NSW) was wonderful for both my girls. They learnt so much but not in an academic way. They learnt how to cope with a 9-3 routine, how to eat lunch like they would at school, how to do so many of the practical things that that school life would bring.

But if you didn't send her, I don't think it is the end of the world. It was the right choice for us and our children though.

#23 Jingleflea

Posted 30 December 2014 - 12:39 PM

I'm sending my DD to preschool (same as 4yr old kinder I think) for a few reasons.
One being I need a break form her! She's full on sometimes and isn't' good at entertaining herself.
She has no siblings, and none of my friends have kids of a comparable age(all 2 and under).

She loves craft and the preschool has resources I don't have, and more room. And more patience for mess lol.

But the main reason I'm sending her is for the socialisation with a large group of kids her age. Listening to the teacher etc she learnt at Playschool(10 in a class) but her class next year will be double the size almost. I can't give her that at home. And I think she needs to for school in 2016

. She has noise issues already, I'm hoping preschool next year will help her cope with lots of noise in a class room.

I can still remember the kids in FYOS(in 1980!) who never went to preschool. They were the ones crying on the first day.

My DD needs to learn how to be away from me, in gradual amounts. Few hours a day, a few days a week. They also integrate with the attached primary school. Meet the teachers, visit the library etc.

She won't cope with 5 days a week from the word go in 2016. I think it'd be a massive shock to the system for a child who's never been in any type of preschool or daycare. Well, it would for my kid, that's for sure.

#24 annodam

Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:31 PM

I never attended Kinder, in fact I didn't know a word of English when I did start Prep & I coped just fine.

If you wanna keep her home, keep her home, take her swimming, dancing etc., she'll soon learn to take instruction from teachers etc.

#25 Bridandzar

Posted 30 December 2014 - 10:50 PM

I would not ever think about not sending them.  The benefits IMO really out weight the negatives.  I see kinder an essential step in their education.

I think it is good for a child to be able to learn to be away from there parents, kinder I believe provides this essential step in children learning this.

I understand the hours are not great but sometimes as parents we have to make sacrifices.  

My DD has just finished kinder and too get honest it wasn't a great year but the benefits our weighted the negative stuff.

Good luck with your decision

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