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#1 Kkiimm

Posted 09 November 2015 - 01:38 PM

Hi guys, I've never done this before so please be kind! I just felt I needed someone to reach out to as perhaps someone else has gone through what I'm going through. I apologise in advance if this is a long post!

I have been with my partner for 5 going on 6 years now and I suffer from Endometriosis. As I am unable to conceive naturally my partner and I have decided to go for IVF. Here is my issue:

My partner has been struggling with depression for years and has only just recently got the help he has been needing. He has just recently decided that he is going to go to school for study to get his life back on track and I fully support him and his goals. The issue with him studying full time is that the course is 5 years and he will not be seeking employment throughout. Currently I work casually and have just found out I am losing my job in 6 months due to it relocating. My partner is currently not employed. The decision to go to through IVF was made a year ago and if we go ahead, it will be in about a month. My worry is that with we will be financially in a somewhat difficult place for the next five years, let alone adding a child into the picture. I have wanted to start a family for years although as my partner has been depressed we did not think it would be the right time. The IVF treatment has been paid for we are just waiting for the go ahead.

I am very concerned that as my partner has told me he wants to just focus on his schooling and not work between, so he can work on achieving his goal to have a career and support the family properly at the end.

I really would love to start a family! Although I am concerned about losing my job in the next few months and then not being able to work with having a bub for a good year (including end of pregnancy and maternity leave).

Has anyone else been torn to make the decision on whether to start a family based on finances?
If anyone could offer any advice or opinions I would be very grateful.

I am aware that most families happen naturally and some babies may even come as a pleasant surprise. This eases my mind as I know I can be prepared with going through IVF but feel maybe the situation won't be too different as if it were a surprise conception.

Thanks in advance guys!

#2 mfpea

Posted 09 November 2015 - 01:55 PM

I guess I would just look at your budget, what money will be coming in- will you get the 18 weeks paid parental leave? What centrelink payments will you get when the baby is born? Do you own your own home or are you renting? You might receive rent assistance.

Lots of people bring up children on a very small income, will you go back to work after the baby is born? Could you and your husband both work casually to save on childcare? It would mean one of you could be at home with the baby.

My contract ended while I was on maternity leave and my partner had occasional casual work, I was the breadwinner. I fell pregnant by accident and now nearly two years down the track I am working four days a week, my partner is closer to finding work and we are getting on our feet financially, things like buying a house are starting to seem like a possibility( a distant one). It is stressful having money worries on top of having a baby, but there is no right time and if your partner is studying for 5 years then it looks like your financial position won't change anytime soon. If your budget allows it I would say go for it, by the time your baby starts school your husband will have finished his study and your financial situation will improve.

Good luck :-)

#3 Ellie bean

Posted 09 November 2015 - 02:24 PM

Oooh that's tough. You don't want to miss your chance for kids because of finances, but then it's no fun to struggle either. How old are you? How long do you think it will be before your partner feels it's the right time- if it's 5 years plus what will your chances of ivf success be then? Can you get some counselling around this from the I've clinic? Good luck :)

#4 Kkiimm

Posted 09 November 2015 - 05:15 PM

Thanks guys! It means a lot.
Sorry some of the last post didn't make much sense too.

I am 24 and we have been trying to conceive for about 3 years now to no avail. We went though IVF around this time last year and that was obviously not successful. I own my own home now so I unfortunately cannot claim rent assistance

Thanks again guys!

#5 Renovators delight

Posted 09 November 2015 - 05:48 PM

Most jobs you won't qualify for maternity leave until you've been employed at least 12 months. This means even if you do go seamlessly from one job to another, and qualify for governments paid parental leave you will be unemployed as soon as you commence maternity leave.

I completely understand the need and longing to pursue fertility treatment.

From the sounds of it, your partner will be studying for the next several years (I think this is better than him going in to some stop gap job) so you need to think about being financially able to pay your mortgage etc.

Will your partner consider a part-time job?

If I were you I would seriously consider postponing IVF until you have been in a new job for three months.

#6 Kkiimm

Posted 09 November 2015 - 07:29 PM

Thanks Tarantara
The thing is I have been employed by my current job for almost 3 years and will hopefully continue to until the relocation. I'm not sure how that works with maternity leave?

#7 Fossy

Posted 09 November 2015 - 07:45 PM

Can you work full time at your current job or find one elsewhere?? That way you can save the extra money to use when you have the baby?
What is your partner studying? Could he work casually as well? Most people manage to work and study, even friends who did medicine had casual jobs.
If it were me I'd look for full time woke elsewhere now to save a nest egg and ensure my job was secure when I wanted to return (as mentioned you have to be there 12 months when you start mat leave).  Postpone IVF for a few months until I was settled into the new role.  Also I'd help my partner find casual work.  Financial worries can be very stressful, not something you want with a newborm baby if avoidable.
Good luck with it all, I hope you come up with a plan that works for you and that IVF goes well x

#8 Renovators delight

Posted 09 November 2015 - 10:25 PM

View PostKkiimm, on 09 November 2015 - 07:29 PM, said:

Thanks Tarantara
The thing is I have been employed by my current job for almost 3 years and will hopefully continue to until the relocation. I'm not sure how that works with maternity leave?

if you end up unemployed for a couple of months while finding a new job, you may not be eligible for paid parental leave from the government, as that's dependent on continuity of work before baby is born. I can't remember off the top of my head but it's something like only an 8 week break allowed. The employment only needs to have been 8 hours a week or more, but it's not averaged out.

However, what I meant is that your new employer won't be obliged to hold a job open for you if you go off on maternity leave if you've been employed less than 12 months.

So assuming everything goes perfectly, you get a new job straight away, the IVF works - you will only have been in your new job for 6 months when you go on maternity leave.

It would mean the employer can legally let you go, and you then need to find another new job with your tiny baby, a very different prospect to negotiating a return to work in your existing job.

#9 Kkiimm

Posted 09 November 2015 - 11:28 PM

Thanks for everyone's opinions it's given me a lot to think about. I think now we (my partner and I) will make our decision keeping all of this in mind.

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