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HG Pregnancy, emergency birth and disappointing fourth trimester
3 replies to this topic
Posted 04 February 2016 - 02:07 PM
I just need to get this off my chest.
Hubby and I cross checked against work calendars to find the best time to fall pregnant. Managed to first cycle! Then this -
Week 3 - implantation could barely have happened and I spend every night this week lieing on my daughters floor too sick to even pat her.
Week 6 - the nausea is now ever present and starting to impact my work
Week 8 - too weak to get out of bed. Have lost 1/11th of my pre-preg weight. GP starts meds for HG.
Week 10 - taken to emergency following a fit caused by dehydration and malnourishment. GP requests an urgent OBs appt, can't get in for a month.
Week 11 - have a bleed. Attend emergency
Week 12 - HG getting worse. GP can't manage with doses he is comfortable prescribing. Directs us to emergency in the hope they will get me in with one of the OBs. Instead put in contact with mental health team. No PND...yet...likely to develop if physical symptoms not managed better. Suggests private OB. Prescribes max dose of everything he uses. So drowsy from drugs, I don't recall my 12/13wk ultrasound.
Week 14 - have a workable non-steroid drug combo. Return to work.
Week 16 - nausea back with vengence. Add steroids into the mix. Bleed returns, only old blood.
Week 18 - another round of bleeding. Still just old blood.
Week 20 - hospital OBs deny shared care. Only now told at risk of PROM due to bleeds.
Weeks 22-28 - regular health and wellbeing scans. Every visit results in a trip to ORC for further monitoring.
Week 30 - PPROM. Thought it was just incontinence.do nothing for 4 days. Call birth centre when contractions start. Bub is lieing transverse, back up. Advised I will be admitted until Bub born due to cord prolapse risks. Delivery will be via a classical c-section.
Week 32 - routine ultrasound to review lie and quantity of fluids results in emergency c-section. Hand through cervix.
Ultrasound was indicating something in cervix. OB in dilemma about how to get me from ultrasound bed onto trolley. Did I take 3 steps and risk further penetration into cervix or did he carry me and risk dropping me??? I walked - less dodgy than an incident report! Rushed to ORC for visual inspection. Speculum whipped out in record time when they view a hand waving to them. Hubby told to be here in 30 mins or they deliver without him. He made it. I spent the timing badgering to get my tubes tied like I'd asked everytime OBs did rounds - consent form had never been provided even though they agreed.
Trouble inserting spinal. My glasses were removed to get a tighter curled up position. Never returned to me for c-section. Too bewildered to ask. Curtain not dropped when Bub delivered as he needed immediate work by paeds. I was pointed in his general direction when they left for NICU....but no glasses so I was blind. Taken to NICU after recovery but heights of bed and isolette blocked view. Too bewildered to realise they would be adjustable. Never saw my baby until 24 hours plus after he was delivered.
Spent 8 weeks commuting to the nursery. Still desperately trying to establish breastfeeding. Have an oversupply and recurrently blocked ducts. Bub is unsettled all the time. He doesn't sleep, unless on his tummy or snuggled up to one of us. Live in constant fear of mastitis and SIDS.
The reality is so different from our hopes 12 months ago.
Posted 04 February 2016 - 02:27 PM
Im sorry to hear you been through all that OP. Sounds very traumatic.
I don't really have any helpful advice expect that from my experience with 3 little ones - pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding and those early weeks can be tough for some of us. I found different challenges with each bub but over the 3 experienced a fair bit too.
I hope in the coming weeks things get a lot easier for you. With my toughest pregnancy and baby I remember actually enjoying the tantrum toddler years as it was far easier than what I had experienced.
Posted 04 February 2016 - 02:44 PM
I'm so sorry to hear about your experience. I have just been through a complicated pregnancy resulting in a premi Bub and yesterday in the car I was trying to explain to my husband how I am feeling. He described it as 'grieving for how things could have been.' I think that's exactly it. I think mourning the loss of what you had hoped for is a very valid process and not an easy one.
Are perinatal mental health still involved? Maybe they can help you work through this?
I hope things improve. It sounds like you did an amazing job looking after your baby in extremely difficult circumstances.
Posted 04 February 2016 - 04:21 PM
No advice, but I have experienced something similar (though different). In my case, three years of TTC led to easy, uneventful pregnancy and then...unsettled, baby. I had so looked forward to lovely, long days pottering around my clean and tidy house with my much-wanted bundle of joy and the reality was just so different from what I'd expected.
But things did get better.
It's still early days. Allow yourself to grieve the way it 'should' have gone. And give yourself permission to feel disappointed and overwhelmed. You've just been through a really traumatic and difficult year.
And don't hesitate to seek help when you need it.
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