I feel like giving up BF
I feel like giving up BF
, Jan 07 2005 03:19 PM
8 replies to this topic
Posted 07 January 2005 - 03:19 PM
My DS is nearly 4mths old and I feel like giving up BF. I have had endless probs with feeding even though attachment has always been ok. My boobs are still sore as are my nipples and I hate the pains I still get with let down and when my milk is filling up again between feeds. My nipples are either a pinkish, white or bright red raw looking colour and I have been treated for various infections and been to a breastfeeding day stay program, contacted the ABA numerous times and seen a specialist lactation doctor, all of who have helped to a certain degree but I just feel that I am stuck at a point where I am over BF and I am not and haven't really enjoyed it
I read on this site somewhere about nipple vasospasm and wonder if that is what I have, it is about the only thing left that hasn't been ruled out, lol! But no one I have seen/spoken to seems to know anything about it. Deep down I know I want to continue BF but don't know if I have the mental capacity to keep going. I am feeling pretty down about it at the moment and I think really I am just looking for lots of encouragement to keep at it.
Bec (28) & Adam (26)
DS Corbin 16.09.04http://www.babiesonline.com/babies/c/corbinb/
Posted 07 January 2005 - 04:17 PM
I am just here to offer some words of encouragement. I felt like giving it up on numerous occasions with DD even after 3 months. I must say how happy I am that I continued until just recently. I was able to feed her when she was ill and could not eat or drink anything else - which meant she got better quicker. I was able to comfort her when she was sad and offer her the best nutritious meal available to a growing baby. I eventually loved bf and was sooo sad to give it up. It is hard work - especially for something that is meant to be 'natural'. It takes a lot of persistence and patience but once you break through that rough patch - you will be glad that you did it.
But if all gets too much, you know that you did your best and in the long run your child is not going to be any better or worse for it.
Hope this helped
BTW I am sure you have already tried it but I found Lansinoh to be fantastic for sore nipples.
Me - 31
DH - 29
DD - 23/06/03
EDD - 2nd Sept 2005
"Focus on being thankful and you will find much to be thankful for!"
Posted 07 January 2005 - 05:33 PM
The thing you need to decide is 'is it ever going to get any better?'
Perserverence is great if there is a light at the end of the tunnel - I kept going through the first few months of 'adjustment', then a kept going through the period of 'boredom' (I hated just sitting and feeding), and all the other stages (including biting). But i knew each stage would come to an end!
There is absolutely nothing wrong with bottlefeeding if that turns out to be the best choice for you! Have a look into any possbile solution and give breastfeeding your best shot but dont feel bad if it turns out that BF doesn't work this time round!
I really hope you find a solution!
Posted 07 January 2005 - 06:49 PM
Poor sausage, I sympathise, the first 5-6 months of BF with my first bub were awful, I felt so inadequate, what helped emotionally was a lactation consultant (very kind soul) pointing out that babies are not BORN knowing how to BF and mothers are not born knowing how to feed them either. Lots of learning on both sides.
By way of encouragement first bub ended up being BF till he was 12 months and weaned himself. With second bub it was so much easier I was actually laughing about it, it's a very "smug pride" thing to have it figured out sooner the second time around! (something to look forward to?) Second bub BF till 18 months.
You have done so well to get this far, anyone who's done it knows what an achievement it is to get to the 4 month mark, there's a lot of love and sacrifice in what you've done and you should be proud of yourself.
TTC#3 Mar/Apr 05
Posted 07 January 2005 - 10:38 PM
I agree, you've done well to get this far. When I read posts in my parents group by the BF mums saying they either get up during the night for feeds or expressing, I'm in awe of how they can do it.
I BF DS exclusively for about the first month (I can't even remember) but then it became too hard for a number of reasons that aren't really relevant. I introduced formula and eventually used formula only when I couldn't even express anything anymore.
To cut a long story short, if you feel like switching to formula then go for it. I bawled when I made up the first bottle because I felt like I had failed my child (I was sleep deprived at the time and feeling crap in general). I wanted to punch the next lactation/BF consultant who told me to persevere (I had gone to BF clinic and spoken to people). My MCHN was so supportive and when I got used to using formula things became happier around the house.
If you don't feel you may have the mental capacity to continue, don't stress yourself out about it. Nothing wrong with switching to formula!
DS#1 August 2004
Posted 07 January 2005 - 11:11 PM
Wow - you've got to 4 months, that is fantastic. I got to 2 months with my first and only lasted 3 weeks with my second.
If you really want to continue, then go for it but if you're not enjoying it I don't see the point. I got myself that stressed out with my first baby that I would dread feed time and think "oh god not again". That was when I weaned him and the relief was immediate. I did have major guilt feelings about bottle feeding my first, but I was a much happier mum when bottle feeding.
Good luck with however you choose to feed your baby.
Posted 08 January 2005 - 09:23 AM
(((hugs))) Bec. It can be so hard! 4 months is fantastic! Gee, it's hard to know how to word things so it sounds right
Have you visited the ABA website and forum? I know you've contacted the ABA, but a message on the forum might find some mums or counsellors with experience with vasospasm (or however it's spelt). Also, www.kellymom.com has great info - might be worth a search.
Please pm me if I can offer any more support. If bf is what you want to do, keep trying
It does get better.
DD Lucy (17/08/03) One year and still breastfed!
We love cloth!
Posted 08 January 2005 - 02:10 PM
Well done on getting this far- you have done a great job. I had an up and down time in the beginning and it settled down until ds started teething which made him change his attachment. I ended up with cracked nipples from when he was 5mths - 9mths. I was so close to giving up but I had really wanted to bf until he was 12mths. I also spoke to ABA, had lactation consultants come out but had little luck until I did as little feeds as possible for 3 days to give my nipples a rest (ds had EBM). DS is now 16mths and we are going strong- something I never thought would happen.
See if you can find out more about vasospasm from the ABA website. From memory there is a bit of stuff there. Kellymom is a great site too.
If you feel you can't do it anymore that is OK! Don't beat yourself up over it. You have done a great job and have given your ds a great start. Perhaps see if you can get anywhere with the vasospasm info, then if that doesn't help make the decision that feels best for you (don't forget that you are just as important).
DH Pete 41
Benjamin Graham 14th September
Mum, do I really have to mow the lawn?
Posted 08 January 2005 - 09:54 PM
You have done well to get to 4 months. According to my CHN many mums have given up by the time they go for their 6 week check!
I had Vasospasam and it sucked! I feed until DD was 9 months and it was just about non existant by then but it was very painful when I had it. It is apparantly a result of nipple trama. Keeping your breasts warm can really help if it is vasospasam, chemist actually sell inserts for your bra which keep your breasts warm. I never actually tried them but the lactation consultant I saw suggested them to me.
I don't really know much more about it but feel free to PM me if you have any other Q's.
Deffinately don't beat yourself up about stopping though if that is what you feel is best for you as you being happy will lead to your baby being happy.
Tia Rose 7/02/04
2835gms (6lb 4oz) 49cm long
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