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What our parenting generation does well


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#26 ~J_F~

Posted 15 March 2016 - 06:13 PM

View PostAcidulous Osprey, on 15 March 2016 - 05:24 PM, said:

My generation did it perfectly.

Doesnt every generation think that ;)

I do agree with the others a specific age or generation would be helpful.

I dont agree we are doing more than ok.

Some stuff is better, sure. Other we are worse at. Thats the way it rolls and will continue you to forever and a day!

View PostAsperHacker, on 15 March 2016 - 05:56 PM, said:

Because those of us with more than one child aren't helicopter parents because we can afford to lose one or two of them?!?

Im glad someone else was WTF at this comment!!

#27 SCG23

Posted 15 March 2016 - 06:13 PM

I agree with a PP that things seemed to have swung too much the other way.

FYOS/Kindy children being mollycoddled by their parents/grandparents at school drop off RUNNING (when the bell rings) to their child's bag which is lined up ready for the start of the school day and putting said bag on the child's back. They are not allowing the child to learn independence.

They hang around the assembly area for up to 30 mins just to watch the child walk into the classroom, like they're incapable of dropping them off, saying goodbye and getting on with their day. Blind Freddy can see that there is so little room for the children because of the mass of parents and grandparents congregated there.

During the day, some children, due to having never heard the word "no' from their parents or had simple rules to comply with, refuse to do what is expected in the classroom & playground. "But I don't want to" is a commonly heard phrase.

Then at the end of the day, said children are incapable of fending for themselves and carrying their own bags. Some children are even scooped up like toddlers and carried to the car.

Helicopter parents are not doing their children any favours. I've had to pull myself up sometimes and remind myself that I would be doing my kids a disservice if I went into battle for them. They have to learn to face consequences and speak up when they're not happy about decisions that have affected them.

#28 Acidulous Osprey

Posted 15 March 2016 - 06:21 PM

But those parents existed back in my day as well.

#29 Coffeegirl

Posted 15 March 2016 - 06:32 PM

View PostSCG23, on 15 March 2016 - 06:13 PM, said:


During the day, some children, due to having never heard the word "no' from their parents or had simple rules to comply with, refuse to do what is expected in the classroom & playground. "But I don't want to" is a commonly heard phrase.


LOL. Pretty sure my mum will tell you that was my favourite phrase back in the 70's.

#30 6lilhillbillies

Posted 15 March 2016 - 06:33 PM

View Postkatpaws, on 15 March 2016 - 04:03 PM, said:

Hmmm... I don't agree with a lot said in the blog. And what generation are we talking about? I am a way better parent than my mother (I'm Gen X) but that's because i don't believe in abusing children and i believe in being an educated and informed parent. And i think i am a better parent that some Gen Ys out there, who, for example, do the negotiation thing with three year olds that last for ages but doesn't achieve anything and pander to their kids. When my daughter was growing up negotiations were short and sweet and when she was asked to do something it was done in an age appropriate manner. My sister who is Gen Y is not a glowing picture of parenthood; she doesn't fit into the positives as mentioned in the blog.

I'd probably be considered a helicopter parent but i've only got one kid and i don't want to lose her. I don't consider myself a crap parent, although i would like to provide more material things for her (having a child killed my career opportunities).

Wow. Only one so you don't want to lose her? So five of my six babies are just spares that I can afford to lose?

#31 AsperHacker

Posted 15 March 2016 - 06:36 PM

FYOS parent here. Molly coddling isn't my experience. Admittedly hes my second child so I just don't care as much about him as my first... but most kids parents don't even stay in the morning anymore and those with siblings are just dropped at the drop zone. The only reason I stay until the bell now is because I actually have a couple of parent friends for the first time.

I'll admit to carrying him to the car in the first week or two because he was exhausted but I rarely even carry the two year old (third child rates even lower than the second).

Of course the 75 kindys at our school aren't representative of the entire population but where are these excessively helicoptery parents who aren't just worried about safety but moving into molly coddling? There might be one or two at school but they're not the norm for the generation of parents I see.

#32 cinnabubble

Posted 15 March 2016 - 06:40 PM

View PostAshildr, on 15 March 2016 - 06:33 PM, said:

Wow. Only one so you don't want to lose her? So five of my six babies are just spares that I can afford to lose?

Oh FFS. I didn't think Katpaws was implying that those of us with more than one child hold their lives cheap. I thought she was saying that there's something especially horrifying -- beyond the acknowledged unimaginable horror of losing a child -- about being a parent with no child.

#33 AsperHacker

Posted 15 March 2016 - 06:42 PM

View Postcinnabubble, on 15 March 2016 - 06:40 PM, said:



Oh FFS. I didn't think Katpaws was implying that those of us with more than one child hold their lives cheap. I thought she was saying that there's something especially horrifying -- beyond the acknowledged unimaginable horror of losing a child -- about being a parent with no child.

More horrifying than a parent who lost a child but still has two left?!?

#34 SCG23

Posted 15 March 2016 - 06:49 PM

View PostAsperHacker, on 15 March 2016 - 06:36 PM, said:

FYOS parent here. Molly coddling isn't my experience. Admittedly hes my second child so I just don't care as much about him as my first... but most kids parents don't even stay in the morning anymore and those with siblings are just dropped at the drop zone. The only reason I stay until the bell now is because I actually have a couple of parent friends for the first time.

I'll admit to carrying him to the car in the first week or two because he was exhausted but I rarely even carry the two year old (third child rates even lower than the second).

Of course the 75 kindys at our school aren't representative of the entire population but where are these excessively helicoptery parents who aren't just worried about safety but moving into molly coddling? There might be one or two at school but they're not the norm for the generation of parents I see.

My experience is with a large school with high immigrant population and parents treating their offspring like they're gold.

This is also not exclusive to kindy/FYOS either but in older years, too.

Edited by SCG23, 15 March 2016 - 06:49 PM.


#35 SCG23

Posted 15 March 2016 - 06:51 PM

View PostCoffeegirl, on 15 March 2016 - 06:32 PM, said:

LOL. Pretty sure my mum will tell you that was my favourite phrase back in the 70's.

Perhaps it was but if I said it to my parents, my head would have rolled and I know I would not have dared say such a thing to any of my teachers. I would not have thought to not comply with a teacher's request let alone stand there and refuse point blank, or outright defy.

Edited by SCG23, 15 March 2016 - 06:52 PM.


#36 Riotproof

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:00 PM

View PostJJ, on 15 March 2016 - 05:39 PM, said:



As a parent of a teen born in 2001, that scares the crap out of me! LOL

I think one of the things we're doing better than, say, when I was a child (late Gen X here) is treating children as individuals and accommodating their individual strengths and weaknesses. We have a much more accepting view of what constitutes "normal" IMO, plus we're generally not so hung up about being normal and fitting the mould anymore.

Sorry!

#37 Cimbom

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:04 PM

View PostKylie Orr, on 15 March 2016 - 03:44 PM, said:

As a result, we are much more tuned in to our impact on the world and committed to educating the next generation in sustainable living and global responsibility.

I disagree with this. We have one of the highest per capita carbon footprints in the world. One person in Australia uses as much resources as three people in France and they're hardly slumming it.

#38 AsperHacker

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:11 PM

View PostSCG23, on 15 March 2016 - 06:49 PM, said:



My experience is with a large school with high immigrant population and parents treating their offspring like they're gold.

This is also not exclusive to kindy/FYOS either but in older years, too.

Ours is probably a mid sized school for the area. In terms of Australia-wide we probably have area ridiculously low immigrant population, not just in my local area but in the two councils that make up the central coast.

I'm not sure you can look at differing cultures when people have only immigrated in the past two or three generations even as indicative of a trend in Australia and compare them to previous generations who were raised by 3rd, 4th, 5th generations parents or those who immigrated from countries with similar parenting practices.

Edited by AsperHacker, 15 March 2016 - 07:12 PM.


#39 28 Barbary Lane

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:13 PM

View PostSCG23, on 15 March 2016 - 06:51 PM, said:

Perhaps it was but if I said it to my parents, my head would have rolled and I know I would not have dared say such a thing to any of my teachers. I would not have thought to not comply with a teacher's request let alone stand there and refuse point blank, or outright defy.
I was too scared to speak at all when I was at school. Our teacher used to hit us on a fairly regular basis so am more than happy those days are gone!

I quite like the way kids are nurtured and listened to now instead of being expected to shut up and follow orders. It probably is a bit over the top but the alternative was pretty miserable from what I remember.

#40 AsperHacker

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:15 PM

View PostCimbom, on 15 March 2016 - 07:04 PM, said:



I disagree with this. We have one of the highest per capita carbon footprints in the world. One person in Australia uses as much resources as three people in France and they're hardly slumming it.

While I agree with your statement, wasn't the blog comparing current parenting generations with previous ones? Not comparing Australia to France? I think that we are more aware than my parents generation. Not in comparison to France and not enough, but still making progress on where we were...?

#41 Feraldasherie

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:18 PM

View Postdad2two_, on 15 March 2016 - 05:41 PM, said:

There seems to be this bizarre notion that parents who give their kids a healthy diet think they have done something wonderful and are deserving of praise. Hey look at me everybody my 5 year old eats broccoli aren't I the best parent in the world.  Father of the year right here. :rolleyes: Giving your kids a decent diet is parenting 101, my kids eat veggies and fruit and salad, that's it. They haven't composed symphonies or painted a masterpiece. If your kid eats cucumbers, that is not a major achievement. That is not something anyone should be proud of or think is some kind of wondrous event, unless of course the child is ill or has a disability. We have friends going mental because our kids eat fish or cabbage like they have just smashed out moonlight sonata on the violin. How effing ridiculous. This is now the situation we're in - people mention their kids have a healthy diet and it's regarded as a brag, how sad and pathetic. You don't pat yourself on the back for doing the most basic of parenting duties FFS. You'll want a medal for wiping their ar$e next.

Jaysus, who p!ssed in your biodynamic cornflakes?

#42 Cimbom

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:20 PM

View PostAsperHacker, on 15 March 2016 - 07:15 PM, said:

While I agree with your statement, wasn't the blog comparing current parenting generations with previous ones? Not comparing Australia to France? I think that we are more aware than my parents generation. Not in comparison to France and not enough, but still making progress on where we were...?

We are more aware but the actual outcomes have not changed positively. There's been a pretty noticeable increase just in the last 10 or so years

#43 AsperHacker

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:34 PM

View PostCimbom, on 15 March 2016 - 07:20 PM, said:



We are more aware but the actual outcomes have not changed positively. There's been a pretty noticeable increase just in the last 10 or so years

So, what the op said was accurate... just not enough to make a positive impact...? Instead of disagreeing then, should we be saying, yep this gen of parents has done that right compared to the one before, what's the next step? (What is the next step?)

#44 Hands Up

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:44 PM

View PostABabyPlease, on 15 March 2016 - 05:26 PM, said:

My kids diet is way better than mine was. I was fed formula milk....
Yeah all those failed breast feeders like me should hang their heads in shame. Are you f*cking kidding me?

#45 Literary Lemur

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:45 PM

dad2two I think getting kids to eat vegetables in a world full of processed food is great and obviously those recent stats show its making a difference population wise.

But the thing we need to focus on I think is the fact that lower socio economic areas are more likely to have overweight children.  Clearly there are structural issues way beyond individual choices.

I think we, as a generation, can pat ourselves on the back when  we do something to break down the inequities.

#46 AsperHacker

Posted 15 March 2016 - 07:56 PM

View PostHands Up, on 15 March 2016 - 07:44 PM, said:


Yeah all those failed breast feeders like me should hang their heads in shame. Are you f*cking kidding me?

Disgusting. I ebfed and find the comment vomit worthy. Im guessing the canned veg had more of an impact on the pps iq than the ff.

#47 seayork2002

Posted 15 March 2016 - 08:00 PM

View PostHands Up, on 15 March 2016 - 07:44 PM, said:


Yeah all those failed breast feeders like me should hang their heads in shame. Are you f*cking kidding me?

They didn't have breasts back then - they are a new invention or something like that

#48 panda eyes

Posted 15 March 2016 - 08:01 PM

View PostKylie Orr, on 15 March 2016 - 03:44 PM, said:



Shared load and gender equity (well, working on it)

As parents in this day and age, we share the parental load much more equitably.

In a standard household there may be one parent working full-time, while the other works part-time. Out-dated rigid roles where the full-time worker comes home to dinner on the table at 6pm, after which they remove their shoes and pop their feet on the ottoman whilst smoking a pipe, as the other parent takes care of children’s bath and bedtimes, are long-gone. The household and child-rearing load is shared.

Which parent works full-time and who works less hours is a completely individual decision made within the four walls of a family’s home. It’s no longer dominated by society that the man works, and the woman works at home.


I'm sorry, but this is essentially trite claptrap. There is at least one (long) thread each week that covers in great detail exactly how deeply entrenched gender roles still are. Most of the male workforce works full time. Most of the female workforce doesn't. Men who work part time are either considered less effective or lucky bastards. Neither are helpful. Women who don't work at all are judged. Women who work full time are judged! To suggest that we've moved so far from a "man works while the missus mans the home front" that all these decisions are made solely on what suits the family unit best is ridiculous.

I actually found a lot of this article quite ingenuine and saccharine. That's disappointing.

#49 SCG23

Posted 15 March 2016 - 08:19 PM

View PostAsperHacker, on 15 March 2016 - 07:11 PM, said:

Ours is probably a mid sized school for the area. In terms of Australia-wide we probably have area ridiculously low immigrant population, not just in my local area but in the two councils that make up the central coast.

I'm not sure you can look at differing cultures when people have only immigrated in the past two or three generations even as indicative of a trend in Australia and compare them to previous generations who were raised by 3rd, 4th, 5th generations parents or those who immigrated from countries with similar parenting practices.

I understand what you're understand what you are saying, but capital cities indicative of a more multicultural Australia and have been for some time? And haven't previous generations also included immigrants? Or, are we only talking about Caucasian/white Australians?

I mentioned what I have noticed, and while some of these children lack independence and responsibility for their own belongings because there's an adult hovering over them taking care of that for them, it is not exclusively the immigrants doing this. I've noticed it  with other families and at other schools, too.

The lack of discipline or minimalistic approach to discipline is also evident in other families, too.

I've heard of parents lamenting how they can't get their kids to do things at home. They seem to not know how to say no to them.

#50 Paddlepop

Posted 15 March 2016 - 08:25 PM

View PostABabyPlease, on 15 March 2016 - 05:26 PM, said:

My kids diet is way better than mine was. I was fed formula milk, orange sugary drinks instead of water, lots of canned food, a handful of salt with every meal, jam or processed meat every lunch. The only vegetables we had was rehydrated peas and beans, potatoes and occasionally carrots or pumpkin.
Seriously? Formula is that bad in your opinion? Go away.




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