Jump to content

Give Formula overnight for a break?


  • Please log in to reply
71 replies to this topic

#51 Ellie bean

Posted 01 April 2016 - 12:58 PM

View PostLou-bags, on 01 April 2016 - 12:22 PM, said:


And because I had developed quite a visceral reaction to the suggestion due to busy bodies suggesting formula to me to solve DS's apparent problems. For sleep, or because he was so big I couldn't possibly keep up and I didn't need to martyr myself etc etc. These types of comments were thankfully infrequent but incredibly undermining and upsetting to me. It really got my back up!


Thanks for explaining, I totally get that. On the flip side but I think the same thing really, my back goes straight up and I have a visceral reaction when I hear formula described as an "artificial" food :)

#52 Lou-bags

Posted 01 April 2016 - 01:18 PM

View PostEllie bean, on 01 April 2016 - 12:58 PM, said:



Thanks for explaining, I totally get that. On the flip side but I think the same thing really, my back goes straight up and I have a visceral reaction when I hear formula described as an "artificial" food :)

And I get that too. FWIW I don't use that term ever. It's insensitive.

#53 AsperHacker

Posted 01 April 2016 - 01:23 PM

View PostEllie bean, on 01 April 2016 - 12:58 PM, said:



Thanks for explaining, I totally get that. On the flip side but I think the same thing really, my back goes straight up and I have a visceral reaction when I hear formula described as an "artificial" food :)

As a exclusively breastfeeding mum my back went up too! It's a horrible term.

#54 lazycritter

Posted 01 April 2016 - 01:32 PM

Yeah, 'artificial food' makes no sense in describing formula.

Op I'm glad the night went better for you. I never did baby led weaning myself; it wasn't a thing back when my youngest was a baby. I think there might be some babies that baby led weaning might work and some like mine that would cause ww3 if not helped!

Your description of the manner of crying when waking reminded me of my eldest immediately.   He was just hungry!   the milk intake only dropped when I gave him more food.  He still eats like crazy and gets so very grumpy when he hasn't eaten properly.

eta my eldest is 10 yr old. Can't wait for his puberty growth spurts. I may as well open an account at Woolworths and send them my pay.

Edited by lazycritterisferal, 01 April 2016 - 01:35 PM.


#55 HappyTapper

Posted 01 April 2016 - 01:54 PM

I'm getting quite a bit of pressure to introduce formula to DD. Mostly because I work full time so I do a lot pumping. But I don't mind enough to quit so I don't see why anybody else cares.

For me I want to get to that 12 month mark with her ebf mostly (and I know this is weird) to make myself feel better about going back to work when she was 2 weeks old.

DS always had a bottle of formula before bed and he was a much better sleeper than DD. OP, do what you need to do to be sane and enjoy your bub.

I have found for both my babies that increased solids intake did lead to better overnight sleep. We did a combination of spoon food and baby led weaning.

#56 ~Winter~

Posted 01 April 2016 - 02:41 PM

It sounds so much like my now 14 month old. He was a fabulous sleeper from about 3 months til 5.5 months (went off reflux meds) went back on his meds and he got better than worse than better. On and off with wonder weeks and teething. But he hit a bad patch about 9/10 months with waking more overnight and he's refused to take a bottle overnight or be settled by dh. He would just scream more! So it was boob or scream until he was hysterical. Very tiring! If he will take the formula, do it! Most likely he's doing it for the comfort because my ds is a big eater and can still wake for a long feed overnight but nothing else settles him.

He also went through a patch of waking and feeding but not going back to sleep and it broke me! I ended up being diagnosed with mild pnd from the sleep deprivation and several other things going on.

I wish I had persevered earlier with dh settling him. He used to take a bottle all the time but we missed a few weeks and now he will only take one at childcare or just a mouthful or so with us.

#57 triangle

Posted 01 April 2016 - 02:47 PM

You can't win. A question was asked. I tried to answer it. Would processed be a better word than artificial? I was simply answering a question that was asked, I never said it was unsuitable, no good etc or that it shouldn't be used if parents chose that.

This thread was not meant to be a formula vs breastmilk debate. The OP had a genuine question, many of the replies suggested using formula. The OP said she was uncomfortable doing so, so where is the support for continuing breastfeeding? What I find lacking is that it is ok to not introduce formula too! Several of us have explained why we chose not to, and how formula is pushed on to many mothers who don't use it, and the judgement is there, trust me.

The question about why some people chose not to introduce formula was asked. Formula IS an artificial food. I answered in the context of the specific question that was asked. Did I say that it was bad? No. Just that IF a parents chooses to stick with breast milk and other foods, why should they not be supported to do so? It really is frustrating that you can't answer a question without there being a suggestion of underlying malice or nastiness. It is just not that.

#58 AsperHacker

Posted 01 April 2016 - 03:04 PM

Replace "an artificial food" with "formula". Simples.

#59 jem_cat

Posted 01 April 2016 - 03:54 PM

Hey OP - glad to hear you had a good night. We also found that including good high protein or good fat sources (fish, avocado) made a difference as well.
Hope it keeps up!

#60 Ellie bean

Posted 01 April 2016 - 05:16 PM

View Posttriangle, on 01 April 2016 - 02:47 PM, said:

You can't win. A question was asked. I tried to answer it. Would processed be a better word than artificial? I was simply answering a question that was asked, I never said it was unsuitable, no good etc or that it shouldn't be used if parents chose that.

This thread was not meant to be a formula vs breastmilk debate. The OP had a genuine question, many of the replies suggested using formula. The OP said she was uncomfortable doing so, so where is the support for continuing breastfeeding? What I find lacking is that it is ok to not introduce formula too! Several of us have explained why we chose not to, and how formula is pushed on to many mothers who don't use it, and the judgement is there, trust me.

The question about why some people chose not to introduce formula was asked. Formula IS an artificial food. I answered in the context of the specific question that was asked. Did I say that it was bad? No. Just that IF a parents chooses to stick with breast milk and other foods, why should they not be supported to do so? It really is frustrating that you can't answer a question without there being a suggestion of underlying malice or nastiness. It is just not that.
Look I get that but its kind of like when people say to BF mums "its fine if you feed in public, just do it discreetly under a cover, what's the problem." They might mean well, but there is a whole history of why such a comment is offensive. Same with the term "artificial milk." Anyway I am really sorry, I did not mean to turn it into a BF v FF debate either, I only wish the OP well.
ETA I appreciate there are judgments both ways, no matter whether you BF or FF, and I am sorry if I have added to that in any way.

Edited by Ellie bean, 01 April 2016 - 05:17 PM.


#61 Nobodyelse

Posted 01 April 2016 - 05:55 PM

View Posttriangle, on 01 April 2016 - 02:47 PM, said:

You can't win. A question was asked. I tried to answer it. Would processed be a better word than artificial? I was simply answering a question that was asked, I never said it was unsuitable, no good etc or that it shouldn't be used if parents chose that.

This thread was not meant to be a formula vs breastmilk debate. The OP had a genuine question, many of the replies suggested using formula. The OP said she was uncomfortable doing so, so where is the support for continuing breastfeeding? What I find lacking is that it is ok to not introduce formula too! Several of us have explained why we chose not to, and how formula is pushed on to many mothers who don't use it, and the judgement is there, trust me.

The question about why some people chose not to introduce formula was asked. Formula IS an artificial food. I answered in the context of the specific question that was asked. Did I say that it was bad? No. Just that IF a parents chooses to stick with breast milk and other foods, why should they not be supported to do so? It really is frustrating that you can't answer a question without there being a suggestion of underlying malice or nastiness. It is just not that.

No it isn't. It is real food made from real food stuffs and made into powdered form where it is then mixed with real water to make real liquid  milk.

Edited by Hmmhuhwhat, 01 April 2016 - 05:56 PM.


#62 JaneMummy

Posted 01 April 2016 - 06:12 PM

OP, I have four kids, the youngest is 20 months. They all got settled into great routines and things were going well.  Without fail at 8-9 months all the wheels fell off and what used to work no longer worked.  They were unsettled with feeding, they were up all the time at night.  They just wanted Mum to settle who is already desperately tired.

It happens to all of us and it will pass, it just takes time.  Until it does, just do what you and your family need to do to survive.  Hang in there; I promise it will get better.  It is a stage that is no fun and I understand the desperation and sleep deprivation.

#63 triangle

Posted 01 April 2016 - 07:25 PM

View PostEllie bean, on 01 April 2016 - 05:16 PM, said:


Look I get that but its kind of like when people say to BF mums "its fine if you feed in public, just do it discreetly under a cover, what's the problem." They might mean well, but there is a whole history of why such a comment is offensive. Same with the term "artificial milk." Anyway I am really sorry, I did not mean to turn it into a BF v FF debate either, I only wish the OP well.
ETA I appreciate there are judgments both ways, no matter whether you BF or FF, and I am sorry if I have added to that in any way.

I appreciate that, and I'm sorry if I upset you, definitely wasn't my intention.

I was just trying to explain that for a baby who is thriving on their current diet of breast milk and solids, introducing formula is simply replacing a breast feed with formula. Where as that isn't necessary and increasing solids would be fine. The milk needs are already met with the breast milk, if that makes sense? (But like I said previously, if someone wants to use formula in addition to/in place of breast milk it's a personal choice and no one else's business and perfectly ok too)

#64 JinksNewton

Posted 01 April 2016 - 07:38 PM

.

Edited by HandsOnNewton, 01 April 2016 - 07:39 PM.


#65 echolalia

Posted 01 April 2016 - 08:31 PM

View Posthappygoluckyinoz, on 01 April 2016 - 11:18 AM, said:





The cot won't fit in our room unfortunately.

For me it's a personal thing. I didn't think I would like breastfeeding, it was really tough in the beginning and for me it was like something took over and I became determined to breastfeed and not give him formula (I think because it was hard it made me even more determined - I'm stubborn like that). It's almost like I've set myself this personal goal to only breastfeed and I do love it, so I don't want to mess with my supply by giving formula. I don't know if that makes any sense at all, I really struggle to articulate how I feel about breastfeeding, because it was such a mind-shift for me!

We have if he was screaming and inconsolable, most of the time it's him stirring and then grizzling, so more like he's unable to put himself back to sleep rather than being in pain. He's just had six(!) teeth come through in the past couple of months so we have been dosing him up for that - but it didn't seem to make much of a difference to his sleep.

Update on last night -
Well he only went and slept from 7pm - 4am! Fed and back to sleep by 4.15am and slept until 7.15am this morning. That is the best (and longest) stretch of sleep he has done in about 4 months!! :) so I'll be continuing to make sure he gets fed properly at meal times. I don't normally bother with breakfast, but today he had scrambled eggs, blueberries and strawberries!

Good news about the sleeping through.
I agree with what pp said about babies wanting their Mum at night.  I don't think there is anything wrong with continuing to bf overnight and there is no reason to feel guilty or that you are doing things wrong, just because other people are doing things differently to you.
On the other hand if it is too exhausting there is nothing wrong with trying night weaning/ responsive settling either.
I can't see the point of your partner bottle feeding overnight (Ebm or formula) as if the baby knows you are around he probably just wants Mum.
Perhaps your sons's caregivers could give him formula when you are at work (while continuing to bf the rest of the time), to save you the hassle of expressing?

#66 EmmDasher

Posted 01 April 2016 - 08:39 PM

View Postecholalia, on 01 April 2016 - 08:31 PM, said:


I can't see the point of your partner bottle feeding overnight (Ebm or formula) as if the baby knows you are around he probably just wants Mum.


The point would be that partner and bub can build that relationship so baby doesn't just want mum. When I went back to work it simply wasn't an option for me to be up all hours while DH slept. Yeah there were a couple of rough nights but DD is very much an either parent is fine but Daddy is better kind of girl now. And that's a beautiful thing at 5am!

#67 lucky 2

Posted 01 April 2016 - 10:45 PM

Quote

For me it's a personal thing. I didn't think I would like breastfeeding, it was really tough in the beginning and for me it was like something took over and I became determined to breastfeed and not give him formula (I think because it was hard it made me even more determined - I'm stubborn like that). It's almost like I've set myself this personal goal to only breastfeed and I do love it, so I don't want to mess with my supply by giving formula. I don't know if that makes any sense at all, I really struggle to articulate how I feel about breastfeeding, because it was such a mind-shift for me!
What you say makes sense to me.
I'll pose a rhetorical question, how would a substitute to breastmilk (infant formula) help with your nighttime parenting when there is no evidence that the substitute will give you a guaranteed, positive outcome in terms of less night waking and more sleep for all of you?
I think it makes sense to work with what you have going on rather than add more to the mix.

I hope things continue to go well with bfing, foods/meals and sleep, your update sounded hopeful! :)

#68 lucky 2

Posted 01 April 2016 - 11:43 PM

Please be considerate of the fact that this is the Breastfeeding forum.

Members and guests would be aware that infant formula, a breast milk substitute, is readily available in the community.

Championing the use of formula when the OP has shared her desire to continue to breastfeed and avoid formula at this stage is inappropriate, especially in the Breastfeeding forum.

I have removed one post.

#69 Quay11

Posted 02 April 2016 - 12:03 AM

View Posttriangle, on 01 April 2016 - 07:25 PM, said:

I appreciate that, and I'm sorry if I upset you, definitely wasn't my intention.

I was just trying to explain that for a baby who is thriving on their current diet of breast milk and solids, introducing formula is simply replacing a breast feed with formula. Where as that isn't necessary and increasing solids would be fine. The milk needs are already met with the breast milk, if that makes sense? (But like I said previously, if someone wants to use formula in addition to/in place of breast milk it's a personal choice and no one else's business and perfectly ok too)

The baby was thriving but the parents weren't. I'm happy the OP has found a solution that appears to be working for them.

#70 triangle

Posted 02 April 2016 - 08:47 AM

.

Edited by triangle, 02 April 2016 - 09:24 AM.


#71 echolalia

Posted 02 April 2016 - 02:43 PM

View PostEmmdash, on 01 April 2016 - 08:39 PM, said:



The point would be that partner and bub can build that relationship so baby doesn't just want mum. When I went back to work it simply wasn't an option for me to be up all hours while DH slept. Yeah there were a couple of rough nights but DD is very much an either parent is fine but Daddy is better kind of girl now. And that's a beautiful thing at 5am!

I'm commenting here from my experience. In a breastfeeding relationship, often the baby does prefer Mum over a bottle. It's not just about nutrition. The baby can still have a strong emotional bond with the father..

If the mother is away from the baby for most the day, then those night feeds will help maintain the bf relationship.

I'm not suggesting that the OP should be getting up all hours of the night. But if the baby wants to bf once or twice a night then that is normal and giving bottles might not really help everyone get more sleep.

There are ways to help get through this time that some people have suggested - e.g. co sleeping, dream feeds. You can also go to bed straight after the baby goes to bed to get a stretch in before the baby wakes (at least on work nights). When the baby doesn't go back to sleep straight after a breastfeed the dad can settle him back to sleep.

Edited by echolalia, 02 April 2016 - 02:48 PM.


#72 echolalia

Posted 02 April 2016 - 03:01 PM

It's the experience of many (not all) breastfeeding mothers, not just me.
The OP has said that she wants to keep breastfeeding, and her baby has clearly indicated a desire to breastfeed overnight, so my response was written with this in mind.




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 
 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Viewed Articles

 
Advertisement
 
 
 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.