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Need some positive over 40 pregnancy stories (update)


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#1 Belladorn

Posted 10 June 2016 - 10:07 AM

So found at a week ago I am pregnant at 41 nearly 42 with my second (there will be a 7 year gap between this bub and Dd)  Whilst I am very happy, I am also ridiculously anxious. I have stupidly been googling and stats for the over 40's are quite grim. I haven't even called the Dr yet to make an appointment as I have worked myself up so much that something bad will happen. I am 5 weeks today and just need some good stories to counteract all the bad ones.

So can you lovely ladies please hit me with your positive over 40 and carried to term stories.  Thanks

Edited by Belladorn, 06 April 2017 - 09:03 AM.


#2 JRA

Posted 10 June 2016 - 10:20 AM

my MIl was 45 when she had her first child, my Dh. This was 55 years ago when there was no where near the medical help that people have now, the pregnancy and birth all went well.


My best friend had her first child 6 years ago, she was 45 at the time.

My mum was a bit younger when she had me, she was only 40.  That was 51 years ago.  

I can list and continue listing positive stories of family members who have had children in their 40s.

Enjoy.

#3 Esseffaz

Posted 10 June 2016 - 10:30 AM

Congratulations!!  

I'm 41 and currently 22 weeks pregnant with my first.

I still have moments where I feel like a 'fraud' when people congratulate me because I think something will go wrong and I won't have a baby after all.

I was told when I was in Week 5 to relax and not 'worry myself'. Easier said than done and more than once I wanted to scream, "IT'S OKAY FOR YOU!". That said, there was nothing I could do but relax and try and have faith that it would work out.  

The worry doesn't go away. In the early days you worry that you're not sick enough, or tired enough. Then you do start to feel sick. Then you have a day when you're not and you panic. Then you worry before scans and love the sweet relief when you see that little heartbeat. I'm now enjoying feeling our baby kick. But then I worry when it doesn't kick enough.

#4 bubzillaiscoming

Posted 10 June 2016 - 10:31 AM

Close friend had her first at 38/39 and the second at about 41/42.

Both girls gorgeous and healthy. Stress free pregnancies and deliveries. They are now 5 and 2.

Wishing you all the best 😀

#5 Christmas tree

Posted 10 June 2016 - 10:33 AM

I know the statistics suggest otherwise - but I really don't know any more 'negative stories' for my friends who have had kids over 40 than I do for those who have had kids in their twenties. Most of my friends have had kids in their late thirties and early forties and whilst some have had fertility problems - Those that have conceived have had healthy babies. My mum was over 40 when she had me (over 40 years ago) and I think I'm ok!

#6 monet

Posted 10 June 2016 - 10:33 AM

Congratulations!  I had my first at 39 and second at 42.

#7 Belladorn

Posted 10 June 2016 - 10:39 AM

Thank you everyone for your replies, they have helped lift my spirits.

#8 Dustyblue

Posted 10 June 2016 - 11:18 AM

Congrats!

I'm 41.5 and currently 37+4 with my first. I had 2 m/c along the way, one at 11w when I was almost 40, so I know that endlessly-nervous feeling well.

Agree with Esseffaz that it really doesn't go away. I felt mildly better after all the 12w testing went well but you find other things to stress about. Part of me still doesn't believe I'll end up with a baby, even this far in! And if all goes well, no doubt in a few weeks I'll be playing the 'asleep or dead?' game with my newborn.

BUT I also agree with Goldenash that you hear a lot more positive stories about over-40 mums than negative ones and I cling to that. I'm going public and you do get more attention (and stress) from some of the medical staff, but you hear some great stories too. The midwives I've seen are utterly unfazed by us over-40's (unlike the doctors) and are full of positive examples.

All you can do is be cautiously optimistic. I found distraction was my friend in the early scarier days- literally just not think about it while I got on with something else.

Wishing you all the best xx

#9 Belladorn

Posted 10 June 2016 - 11:27 AM

Good luck with the birth Dustyblue, it's lovely to hear another positive story. X

#10 sueratbag

Posted 10 June 2016 - 11:35 AM

My mum was 41 when she had me......but is that a positive outcome? :omg:

Seriously, though, even "bad" statistics that say a 5% chance of something still mean that 95% of outcomes won't be bad.

And I'm a bit eccentric, but pretty harmless really. Relax. Have fun.

#11 Grape Jelly

Posted 10 June 2016 - 11:40 AM

Congrats!  I understand the concern, and the stats can be scary but individuals prove the stats wrong every day. I fell pregnant one month before my 40th birthday after much effort and struggle. I was terrified throughout the pregnancy but my little one is 18 months old now and he is perfect. Best wishes to you.

#12 Nutty nut

Posted 10 June 2016 - 11:41 AM

40 with my second. Dream pregnancy. Elective Caesar only because my first got completely stuck, no complications.

We are even half heartedly trying for a third now, and I'm 42. Probably won't happen but I'd be pleased if it did.

#13 FunkyOwl

Posted 10 June 2016 - 11:55 AM

I was 28 and doing IVF with my husband when his much older brother accidentally got his new girlfriend, who was 43, pregnant. She had a great pregnancy and delivered naturally and without complications at 44. They are now engaged with a beautiful 6 year old daughter.

One of my closest friends met a man online, dated long distance for 2 years, married, moved overseas with him AND had a baby in less time than it took my husband and I to conceive. She was in her early 40's. A year later they had a second baby - both natural and healthy.

My husband and I eventually went onto have two healthy children in our early 30's, but my pregnancies and births were riddled with complications. Age stats mean absolutely nothing on an individual level and I think people don't tell their "boring" stories so much. It's always either the bad or the "miracles".

Good luck!

#14 Shapir0

Posted 10 June 2016 - 11:56 AM

I had my 3rd baby at 42- he was a surprise holiday package <3 & now is a healthy, gorgeous, full on nearly 5 year old that keeps me on my toes ( and dare I say, feeling young :-) )

Oh and there's a 5 year gap between him and his older brother and they get on so well, adore each other

All the best in your pregnancy :-) xx

#15 Caribou

Posted 10 June 2016 - 07:43 PM

Stay away from Google! You're more likely to find the worse case stories than the good ones. Often news can be outdated and people waffling about case studies with no actual degree. It's a bit like the whole anti-vaccinations.. Dig through the web and you will find so called Research with grim findings. It sounds plausible and it's not!

Book that GP appointment. Congrats on pregnancy!

#16 Dionysus

Posted 10 June 2016 - 08:48 PM

DS turned 1 today, I was almost 42 when he was born

DD turned 7 on Monday

So, similar age to you and similar age gap for the kids!

Pregnancy was uneventful, although I was VERY tired and actually finished work at 32 weeks (I am a teacher so that worked well with end of term plus I was exhausted!)

It was my 5th pregnancy, so I had miscarriage fears for a long time and also all the fears that come with being old

Each milestone was quietly celebrated

I wish you well for your pregnancy!

#17 Guest_canadianmum_*

Posted 10 June 2016 - 08:57 PM

Me!

I had my last baby at 40 and I would go again!

Congratulations!

I did deliver early BUT I have with all my pregnancies, even my first at 23.

Wishing you safe and quiet time.

#18 Belladorn

Posted 10 June 2016 - 11:35 PM

Thanks so much to everyone who has taken the time to reply, you have all helped me a great deal. I will make my Gp appointment next week. Fingers crossed it all turns out well.

Madnesscraves, I think I need to take your advice & step away from Google, it will only make me crazy if I don't.

#19 tinselfoil hat

Posted 11 June 2016 - 12:39 AM

I'm a bit young to be chiming in on this thread but I recently had a baby and heard some interesting wisdom. Doctors sometimes seem quite concerned with things like this because they spend the majority of their time dealing with the anomalies... The ones that go wrong. Midwives see the ones that go wrong and the ones that go right and if they are not concerned that tells you that your chances are actually pretty good. Congratulations and all the best OP.

#20 Etta

Posted 11 June 2016 - 01:20 AM

I was on over 40 first time mum. Read those stats again - they all say that you are more likely than not to have a healthy baby and safe pregnancy. All the best and congratulations.

#21 zaza5

Posted 13 June 2016 - 04:09 PM

Hello - I had DD1 at 40 and DD2 at 41.  Both are thriving.  I was seeing an specialist ob due to some blood disorder issue and he never mentioned my age at all.  So I did bring it up once and he brushed it off.

I will say that some 'people' did make comments here and there about being lucky at this age, and hope all goes well.  But i think if you do anything slightly outside of the majority, comments will come.  but i know a few older mums so is not really that extraordinary.

I would follow the advice above and just ignore the stats.  There is enough evidence from what i see around that you should not be too concerned.

Congratulations!

#22 Lallalla

Posted 13 June 2016 - 04:31 PM

My grandmother had my father at 40 and his brother at 42 about 70 years ago. They both turned out fine, if a little eccentric, but that's just a family trait as their much older sister is too...

#23 gemgirl

Posted 19 June 2016 - 01:35 PM

Two women in my DIG were 44 and had healthy babies. I was in my 30s and got pre-e and a very sick baby (now healthy). Good luck!

#24 Natttmumm

Posted 20 June 2016 - 03:17 PM

Both of my closest friends from mothers group were over 40 with their second child. They has easier pregnancies and births than I did.

All the best OP - try not to be to anxious

#25 Kirra29

Posted 20 June 2016 - 03:30 PM

A friend of mine has just had her first at 46! Pregnancy went well, mum and baby are as happy and healthy as can be




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