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Delusional MIL (fluff)

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#26 CallMeFeral

Posted 04 July 2016 - 10:45 AM

- apparently DH and his sisters were no trouble and just looked after themselves as kids and never fought or were impolite or played up (I guess kids are a lot less work when you have a cook, maid and driver to help with the chores)
- FIL (according to MIL) was the perfect father and spent so much time with the children (contrary to DH's experience of only developing a relationship with his dad as an adult when they moved countries)
- MIL is a devoted mother who worships her only son disproportionately to the sisters and does everything for him (but will travel interstate more often than travel the 45 mins it takes to visit us - by a ratio of about 5 to 1)
- Adores her grandchildren (but can't be bothered to see them)

And on and on.


Posted 04 July 2016 - 10:50 AM

I am a bottle blonde and throughout childhood my hair was dark.

Although many photos are in B&W, you can clearly tell my hair is dark especially when compared to my sister who was always blonde.

My dad staunchly believes that I was always blonde....

#28 Fresh Start

Posted 04 July 2016 - 07:06 PM

View PostSoontobegran, on 04 July 2016 - 08:55 AM, said:

My MIL has nothing in common with me, she has said some truly ridiculous stuff which I have been vehemently opposed to for FORTY years but I have kept my mouth shut.

She is a loving mother to my husband and she raised a really good person under extreme conditions so for that I am grateful. She is also loving to me and the kids in her own special way.
Sometimes I have asked myself whether I really need to be right when it comes to what she says or whether I keep it to myself as criticism of her hurts my DH and walking away is what I have always done.

My lesson was to tell myself as a MIL to not do the same thing...I thank her for that lesson, I do not believe any of my children's partners will be able to have the same vent about me...this is something we all need to be mindful of.

This is interesting. I often think to myself I will never be like my now exMIL.

Then I remember the early months after meeting her. She would complain about her (by then deceased) MIL and tell me how she never wanted to be that sort of MIL.  I naively said well that's easy, just don't be like that you know it annoyed you.

Then I moved in next door and married her youngest son.  I was the third to marry in (well 3rd and 4th came at pretty much the same time). She'd had a son-in-law and a daughter-in-law for about 20 years before the two of us.

She did EVERYTHING she had b**ched about her MIL doing!

#29 Handsfull

Posted 04 July 2016 - 07:38 PM

My MIL has said and done so many things over the years that are truly awful that the silver lining in my cloud when I split with DH was that I never have to see her again if I don't want to.  Even he acknowledged how awful a MIL she had been.  All her children have their own dysfunctions which carries on from her parenting.

#30 lynneyours

Posted 04 July 2016 - 07:43 PM

View Posttriangle, on 04 July 2016 - 10:17 AM, said:

MIL told me that me, her son, and our children are all going to burn in hell when the LORD comes back because we aren't spirit filled and won't get any salvation.

Oh yes, I have had this many times too.  She stood up at her own father's funeral and told the entire funeral the same thing.  And that the minister presiding over the funeral was no good and to come to her church and her minister to be saved.

Cause that is going to make non-religious people see how great Christianity is....

#31 Princess VFR

Posted 04 July 2016 - 07:51 PM

When I was newly pregnant, hormonal and emotional, MIL told me I had to have a boy otherwise DH wouldn't be interested in our child.

Our daughter spends more time helping daddy "fix" things in his mancave than she does in the house with me

#32 Coconuttie

Posted 04 July 2016 - 07:59 PM

Gosh, where do I start???

Upon hearing that DH was going to propose: "are you sure, people from her culture don't take marriage very seriously" (I'm white Aussie, DH is not)

Upon hearing our first child would be a girl: "oh good, you don't have to worry as much about getting good schools and university degrees for girls."

Upon hearing that my bridesmaids would wear black dresses: "But everyone will think its a funeral."

Continually telling me how hard having children is, even though she had one child and had in house hired help. She actually told me once that DH cried so much one day that she couldn't watch her favorite TV show.

I could go on, the woman is a flipping living soap opera!

#33 Figmoon

Posted 04 July 2016 - 08:01 PM

My MIL told my DH not to marry me as it's awful for the children when people get divorced.....well,she was wrong as I have been married 27 yrs and not divorced yet.Now I'm a fantastic Mum to our 3 kids .  :)

#34 Jenflea

Posted 04 July 2016 - 08:11 PM

I got my hair coloured (three shades darker) for the first time in 5 years(basically since I had a baby) and when I said no one commented on it Mum said she had no idea what my natural colour was so she hadn't noticed.
Even though she's known me since birth and I was 40 at the time.

#35 Wacky Wobbler

Posted 04 July 2016 - 08:40 PM

We had just found out our baby had no heartbeat on my SIL birthday. Of course ex MIL asked how our scan went and my ex told her. The first thing she said was we were not to tell anyone as it would ruin my SIL's birthday dinner.

She came to my house (when ex was at work) and told me that we would not be telling our unborn child how he was conceived (IVF, even though my ex and I had decided we would) as it didn't really matter and made her family look bad.

I've been told I read too many books to my DS and that's why he is a clingy child.

Edited by Wacky Wobbler, 08 July 2016 - 07:49 AM.

#36 c.sanders

Posted 04 July 2016 - 08:43 PM


Edited by c.sanders, 04 July 2016 - 08:50 PM.

#37 c.sanders

Posted 04 July 2016 - 08:50 PM

my mil still thinks she had 10 pound babies...reminds me every pregnancy. ..this is my fifth...I must be defective since I can only manage babies around the 2.7kg mark. I very much doubt she had 10 pound babies..genetically it's impossible from our cultural background and her kids are normal size now and she's never had diabetes...but hey....aren't most MILs a little crazy??!!

just give me a few more days and I'll be posting a mil vent. it's only been 1day since I've been here

#38 LenaK

Posted 04 July 2016 - 09:19 PM

Some of these are jawdroppingly awful.

My MIL pales in comparison although she told me I had abandoned my children because I left them with DH for two weeks while I travelled home to see my family whom I hadn't seen for more than two years.

She expressed surprise that I had "actually come back for them" and said she hoped they didn't experience any long term consequences of my abandonment.  DH of course was the man of the year for 'letting me go' and looking after the kids.

I usually pull her up when she makes comments like this.  I told her that it wasn't a very nice thing to say and then politely asked her if she thought her children had suffered any long term consequences of being 'abandoned' with their grandparents every year while she went on holidays.

#39 Jenflea

Posted 04 July 2016 - 09:22 PM

lenak, what did she say to that??

#40 CheekyChia

Posted 04 July 2016 - 09:26 PM

My mil is pretty amazing the only kinda of argument we have had is that she thinks gay people should not be parents as the children will get teased at school. I corrected her with ok so your telling me that's its worse for a child to stay in foster care and be bounced around or live in a orphanage then with people that can provide them a loving stable home? What about children from 3rd world countries? oh well just leave them to starve instead of letting a same sex couple have them because they might get some flack at school because the have 2 mummies or daddies.

That shut her up real quick.

Edited by CheekyChia, 04 July 2016 - 09:42 PM.

#41 LenaK

Posted 04 July 2016 - 09:36 PM

View PostJenflea, on 04 July 2016 - 09:22 PM, said:

lenak, what did she say to that??

DH very kindly interjected. He told his mum that the comment was a little insensitive, said he didn't think he had suffered any long term consequences of being abandoned, and commented that he had loved having extra quality time with the kids and then promptly asked if anyone wanted another cup of coffee indicating that it was the end of the conversation. He's good like that :-)

#42 Mummy_Em

Posted 04 July 2016 - 11:52 PM

Mine is a funny one, MIL is not a silly woman but she must have had a brain fart this day. But she kept a completely straight face so I don't know whether she registered how dumb her comment was.

I had a difficult birth with dd1 and I had a choice between another vaginal birth or planned c/s with dd2. Eventually I decided on a planned c/s and MIL asked me if I was relieved. I said was a bit, but I was also a it nervous about the surgery, particularly the actual incision. MIL made the comment that she thought theses things were usually done by keyhole surgery! I kind of just stammered that it would be about a 15 cm incision.

I mean, I'm having a baby, not a Silvanian family figurine.

#43 88k

Posted 05 July 2016 - 12:09 AM

Mummy_Em - that made me giggle. I've no idea how she thought the baby would fit through the key hole!

That reminds me, in a moment of panic (MIL doesn't do well in stressful situations) she told me how lucky I was to have had a c-section because her births were so traumatic - they were lightening fast hospital corridor affairs, but perfectly healthy bub and mum. Nothing wrong with the comment except I was still in ICU following a massive PPH and c-section with a failed epidural. DS was in NICU intubated and generally not doing well. She apologized a few days later when things had calmed down and it had dawned on her what a silly thing to say it was!

Edited by 88k, 05 July 2016 - 12:12 AM.

#44 88k

Posted 05 July 2016 - 12:11 AM

LenaK - you have a keeper there!

#45 LenaK

Posted 05 July 2016 - 12:12 AM

View Post88k, on 05 July 2016 - 12:11 AM, said:

LenaK - you have a keeper there!

Sure do :-)

#46 j-gray

Posted 05 July 2016 - 08:21 AM

View Post88k, on 05 July 2016 - 12:09 AM, said:

Mummy_Em - that made me giggle. I've no idea how she thought the baby would fit through the key hole!

That reminds me, in a moment of panic (MIL doesn't do well in stressful situations) she told me how lucky I was to have had a c-section because her births were so traumatic - they were lightening fast hospital corridor affairs, but perfectly healthy bub and mum. Nothing wrong with the comment except I was still in ICU following a massive PPH and c-section with a failed epidural. DS was in NICU intubated and generally not doing well. She apologized a few days later when things had calmed down and it had dawned on her what a silly thing to say it was!

Wow. If my MIL ever apologises for one of the hundreds of offensive or manipulative things she has done you would be able to knock me over with a feather ! In the 15 years I've been with DH, she has not once apologised for anything, to anyone !

#47 Mistletoe Kisses

Posted 05 July 2016 - 09:14 PM

View Post88k, on 04 July 2016 - 01:16 AM, said:

Holy guacamole T&C I think you win this round! I hope you told her exactly where to deposit her sentiments?!

I turn to her and said 'ya know 40 years ago you had to fight for your right to have that abortion, now where the f*** is my right to keep it?'

Im still yet to get an apology.

#48 c.sanders

Posted 06 July 2016 - 03:07 PM

View PostR2D2, on 04 July 2016 - 09:08 PM, said:

C.sanders, genuinely curious what do you mean impossible from your cultural background?

I know generally mice don't breed rats so to speak (as one charming ob once put it to my v small colleague's equally small wife!), but it does happen doesn't it? And gestational diabetes was not picked up so much a generation ago and does not always turn into diabetes?

Just curious, my very petite aunt had absolute whopper babies, the largest coming in at 11 pounds....

That's ok. I just mean that our ancestry is a mix of Asian and Indian blood and we are all quite small people so to be birthing over 4.5kgs babies is very unusable especially since the average is 2.7kgs.  added to that my mil was particularly small I can't imagine her giving natural birth to such big babies unassisted either. as far as I know she told me she has never had diabetes and she is the type to constantly be at the doctors with some imagined and real ailments all the time. I'm pretty sure the testing was available back then because I was born in the same country but in a much smaller town and my mum was diagnosed with diabetes.

#49 c.sanders

Posted 06 July 2016 - 03:09 PM

ok I am officially going batty. but I just wanted to say that yes my mil is crazy....but so are my own mum and dad. they probably annoy me a lot more in smaller doses than mil. I genuinely feel like they think the only reason I had kids was to give them grandkids who need to worship them. so fricken annoying!!!

#50 DrFeral

Posted 06 July 2016 - 03:22 PM

View Post88k, on 04 July 2016 - 12:28 AM, said:

We had lunch with the in-laws today during Mr3's nap time and he had a very minor, very shortlived tantrum to which (my normally delightful and easy to love) MIL exclaimed "I never know what to do when he tantrums because my boys never had them".

Look lady, I've been married to your son for some time now, and he is a gem, I'll give you that, but I have seen him chuck a tanty or 2 - if he can do it at 35 he sure did it at 3.5.

What is the most out there/delusional thing your MIL has ever said?

My MIL said the very same thing. Totally delusional!

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