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A note about bullying


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#1 F.E.B.E

Posted 06 July 2016 - 12:22 PM

Recently myself and the moderating team have noticed an increase in nasty, unsupportive posts and bullying of other members.

I would like to remind everyone that bullying is against our code of conduct.

As a forum member you are part of a community, and you are responsible for contributing to the tone and vibe of that community and helping new members feel safe and supported. If you don't feel you can contribute to the site in a positive manner, perhaps it's not for you! This behaviour will not be tolerated. This includes joining in on others bullying as well as sending nasty PMs.

Some particular situations we are aware of include:

Repeatedly targeting certain members
Sometimes personal disuptes can result in a member, or a group of members, following certain members around and commenting negatively on their posts and invoking a member's personal life or post history.

If a member has offended you, we suggest you report the post and leave admin to sort it out (we do give warnings regularly) and then leave the matter alone. If you don't like another member's posts but they are not offensive to you, we suggest you use the 'ignore' function.

Mocking and teasing members with different views
In a forum of this size there are bound to be a variety of different social and political views, some of which may be a minority opinion amongst the members. While we encourage lively debate it cheapens the conversation when members mock, tease or humiliate other members because of their views. Fight fairly, with facts if you would like threads to remain open. If you don't think a member is here for a genuine reason, use the report function to alert the moderation team.

Being unsupportive to new members
Try to remember what it was like the first time you made a post on the EB/EK forums. New members don't know which questions have been asked before, or what the prevailing 'view' on certain topics is. The forums are a supportive place where people often reach out when they are at the end of their tether. Some compassion would be appreciated.

You should be aware that the moderation will be taking a harder line on bullying and may issue warning points for past as well as future infractions of this policy.

Thanks for your understanding - we all want the forums to be the best community they can be.

#2 dad2two_

Posted 06 July 2016 - 12:37 PM

Is this open for discussion or simply a "sticky"?

#3 F.E.B.E

Posted 06 July 2016 - 12:41 PM

Happy to discuss it however it will be stickied too.

#4 dad2two_

Posted 06 July 2016 - 12:52 PM

View PostEBeditor, on 06 July 2016 - 12:41 PM, said:

Happy to discuss it however it will be stickied too.

I agree with everything you've written, however there are a number of individuals who seem to be quite vindictive, mean-spirited people and they naturally receive more criticism and  negative responses to their posts than most other members. 3 or 4 people criticising that person for their vitriolic replies could be regarded as bullying, if you looked at that thread in isolation, but you look at that members EB posting history and it's easy to understand why people don't reply with a little bit more charity.

Edited by dad2two_, 06 July 2016 - 12:54 PM.


#5 F.E.B.E

Posted 06 July 2016 - 12:58 PM

View Postdad2two_, on 06 July 2016 - 12:52 PM, said:

I agree with everything you've written, however there are a number of individuals who seem to be quite vindictive, mean-spirited people and they naturally receive more criticism and  negative responses to their posts than most other members. 3 or 4 people criticising that person for their vitriolic replies could be regarded as bullying, if you looked at that thread in isolation, but you look at that members EB posting history and it's easy to understand why people don't reply with a little bit more charity.

We do factor in if someone "gives as good as they get" when moderating a thread, however if you think someone is mean-spirited or nasty it is probably a good idea to use the ignore function.

#6 nup

Posted 06 July 2016 - 01:19 PM

I've only recently had the misfortune of being on the receiving end of these baseless bullying claims. For members who aren't focused on the complaining member beyond contributing to a thread that they have started, it makes no sense. Perhaps there is a history I'm unaware of, but to have attention seeking threads locked for members receiving... (dramatic pause) attention, doesn't make sense. Particularly where the people making the claims fail to explain why and how. If there was history as previous mentioned I could understand it, but to only have been on the receiving end of this person's issues and facing baseless claims seems absurd.

If people wish to keep in contact with some but exclude others then surely the PM system is a better idea than a public discussion board. Isn't excluding some from publicpublic discussion hypercritical? Attention seeking threads that contradict posts elsewhere looks more like a web of lies that obviously gets a bit difficult to navigate for members who are perhap not aware of whatever claims are being made.

#7 F.E.B.E

Posted 06 July 2016 - 01:56 PM

Nup we do also take action against members who repeatedly post attention-seeking/provocative content and derail threads to become all about them. Thankfully this is a very small percentage of members.

We also don't just take bullying complaints or reported posts on merit, we investigate each allegation and see whether it is fair or not.

#8 Acidulous Osprey

Posted 06 July 2016 - 06:57 PM

This probably needs pinning :D

#9 JinksNewton

Posted 06 July 2016 - 07:09 PM

View PostAcidulous Osprey, on 06 July 2016 - 06:57 PM, said:

This probably needs pinning :D
I would say so.
Fair point on the new members.
As a rule I tend to go very easy on them if they come in with general stuff that's maybe just a little ill-informed, though if their first post is something along the the lines of "What are your children doing while you spend all day on the computer" or "Don't you know that polio is just a harmless childhood diseases" then the gloves don't tend to stay on too long :)
There have been times, however, that I've winced on a poor newbie's behalf as they said just the wrong thing and got torn to shreds for it.

Also I agree with Dad2Two's post. He said it much more diplomatically than I could have

Edited by HandsOnNewton, 06 July 2016 - 07:25 PM.


#10 JRA

Posted 06 July 2016 - 07:19 PM

I have to agree with the others, in concept I agree with what is said. EB /EK is meant to be supportive and the last thing that anyone wants is a bullying environment.

Quote


I agree with everything you've written, however there are a number of individuals who seem to be quite vindictive, mean-spirited people and they naturally receive more criticism and  negative responses to their posts than most other members. 3 or 4 people criticising that person for their vitriolic replies could be regarded as bullying, if you looked at that thread in isolation, but you look at that members EB posting history and it's easy to understand why people don't reply with a little bit more charity
But this is so true. The people that seem to be the most likely to say "Leave me alone you are nasty" are the actual people that start threads/add to threads to gain attention and give sh*t to everyone else. It seems that when anyone responds they then get all "it's not fair". And the whole attitude of them stinks.

#11 F.E.B.E

Posted 06 July 2016 - 09:04 PM

That is so true Chomskysite. We never know what is going on behind the scenes of someone's online life.

#12 SCG23

Posted 06 July 2016 - 09:54 PM

I've been a member here for a couple of years and noticed the bullying and harsh responses ramping up.

I rarely post but when I do I can almost be guaranteed that particular of posters, and they are usually long term ones with Feral and the like added to their usernames, that will swoop.

No longer will I post here, and I'll wean myself reading. There's a lot less threads these days - that's very telling IMO.

#13 SCG23

Posted 06 July 2016 - 09:55 PM

View PostJRA, on 06 July 2016 - 07:19 PM, said:

I have to agree with the others, in concept I agree with what is said. EB /EK is meant to be supportive and the last thing that anyone wants is a bullying environment.

But this is so true. The people that seem to be the most likely to say "Leave me alone you are nasty" are the actual people that start threads/add to threads to gain attention and give sh*t to everyone else. It seems that when anyone responds they then get all "it's not fair". And the whole attitude of them stinks.

And they're the posts that long term members such as yourself should avoid. You've been here long enough to know who they are and what they're about. Just scroll on by :smile:

#14 AsperHacker

Posted 06 July 2016 - 10:15 PM

View PostAcidulous Osprey, on 06 July 2016 - 06:57 PM, said:

This probably needs pinning :D

Ya think?

#15 SCG23

Posted 06 July 2016 - 10:36 PM

View PostAspoHacko, on 06 July 2016 - 10:15 PM, said:

Ya think?

Yeah especially when posters then contact you via PM to continue to harass.

#16 Acidulous Osprey

Posted 06 July 2016 - 10:39 PM

Just to make it very clear, I've never harassed SCG23 in PM.  I would hate for anyone to make that inference.

#17 ~J_WTF~

Posted 06 July 2016 - 10:42 PM

View PostSCG23, on 06 July 2016 - 10:36 PM, said:

Yeah especially when posters then contact you via PM to continue to harass.

I have to admit I didnt realise people did this until recently. Its just plain nasty. If you cant say what you need in the thread then you know damn well you are out of line and shouldnt be saying it at all!!

#18 Acidulous Osprey

Posted 06 July 2016 - 10:46 PM

Admin  are interested in seeing them though.

#19 SCG23

Posted 06 July 2016 - 10:59 PM

View PostAcidulous Osprey, on 06 July 2016 - 10:39 PM, said:

Just to make it very clear, I've never harassed SCG23 in PM.  I would hate for anyone to make that inference.

Sorry, did not mean to infer you, AO. Just one of the Feral brigade with a guilty conscience.

#20 Burro

Posted 06 July 2016 - 11:06 PM

What have I missed?

#21 JinksNewton

Posted 06 July 2016 - 11:07 PM

Acidulous Osprey, you can PM me and say my mum had ugly babies or something.

I think this thread may have vanished in the morning, but I'll poke my head in carefully to check...[attachment=6569:roadwindow.gif]

Edited by HandsOnNewton, 06 July 2016 - 11:10 PM.


#22 Datrys

Posted 06 July 2016 - 11:41 PM

View PostSCG23, on 06 July 2016 - 09:54 PM, said:

There's a lot less threads these days - that's very telling IMO.

To be fair, I suspect Facebook has as much to do with that as anything else.  Lots of interactions which used to happen here now happen there.

On topic, another forum I'm a member of has also noticed an increase in conflict and difficult behaviour.  Long term members there tell me that it is a recognised phenomenon there that this happens every election time.  Anxieties rise, opinions fly, and filters drop... and then after a while they go back to "normal."  (That forum makes EB look tame by comparison, I might add).

I wonder if a similar thing is happening here?

#23 F.E.B.E

Posted 06 July 2016 - 11:55 PM

Just a note that this is not the place to air individual grievances. If you wish to report a post or PM please use the report button or post in the 'Messages to Mods' forum.

#24 IkeaAddict

Posted 07 July 2016 - 12:23 AM

What I find the worst, moreso than the "bullying" is the exclusion of other members from certain discussions. Once a certain group of certain members starts chatting about something inside a topic, and not necessarily one they started, its almost like the rest of the world doesn't exist. Nothing anyone contributes gets noticed and heaven forbid you go against the grain, you will be pounced upon like the mortal enemy. I have felt so bad for a few people who have had this happen to that I have PMed them just to let them know that it's not about them and that it certain peoples personalities and to not take it persomally. Me, I am too old for that crap. And I don't take criticism from anonymous people seriously at all

#25 FiveAus

Posted 07 July 2016 - 06:05 AM

A lot of people seem to forget that EB is a very, very public forum that anyone with internet access can read. Posting anything here is akin to standing in a busy city street and shouting it out loud to passers-by. Some will keep going and not take any notice, others will stop and listen, engage with you, argue with you, agree with you etc.

The very "private" conversations that crop up from time to time never cease to amaze me. As does the mentality that certain forums are "private" and you need some sort of credentials to post in there. No they are not and anyone can post in there.




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