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We may be about to buy our first house


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#26 Bearynice

Posted 07 February 2017 - 10:02 PM

It's not a good idea to consider a loan with those two parents in law involved.

I understand it's frustrating, but I would be avoiding a loan involving them

#27 Lunafreya

Posted 07 February 2017 - 10:05 PM

I know.

I wish I could approach my parents. My dad doesn't own his own home any more but he would help us. And my mum and stepfather maybe would if we asked but I'm not comfortable with them having that hold over us.

This isn't just a house though. They could help us out in a big way financially.

#28 BECZ

Posted 07 February 2017 - 10:05 PM

Hmmm...does sound rather strange.

Maybe he was happy to help you out with the deposit, because that way it's only the total of the deposit he's putting at risk, where to use their house as security, he's risking a lot more.

#29 Lunafreya

Posted 07 February 2017 - 10:07 PM

 BECZ, on 07 February 2017 - 10:05 PM, said:

Hmmm...does sound rather strange.

Maybe he was happy to help you out with the deposit, because that way it's only the total of the deposit he's putting at risk, where to use their house as security, he's risking a lot more.
No, you're being logical. FIL isn't logical. I'm starting to think its financial abuse. He's got her in a position where she paid for everything and can't leave him.

#30 BECZ

Posted 07 February 2017 - 10:41 PM

 Lunafreya, on 07 February 2017 - 10:07 PM, said:


No, you're being logical. FIL isn't logical. I'm starting to think its financial abuse. He's got her in a position where she paid for everything and can't leave him.

Oh!  That doesn't sound nice at all.

#31 Lunafreya

Posted 07 February 2017 - 11:09 PM

The worst thing is, we aren't even asking for much. Not money (which they keep offering, $30,000 which won't do much for a mortgage anywhere nowadays) but just give us a head start with the house they own outright for what probably will be 2-3 years while we work to pay down the debts and the stamp duty the loan is also covering.

They live in a different reality. It's so infuriating when you try and ask for the help people promise and it doesn't happen.

#32 MadnessCraves

Posted 08 February 2017 - 04:31 AM

First up, your MIL can and will be entitled to assests if they broke up. The court isn't going to award him the entire house even though her name isn't on the deed.

Second up, selfish or not, based on their situation I think it's pretty stupid to try use their house as security. You
Don't think your FIL won't use that as a hold over you like you feel your mum would? Based on what you've said I would not be surprised if he did.

Honestly, look at other lenders without needing secuirty of someone's home. If a broker was useless to direct to banks.

Like PPs I found CBank very accomodating. St G was great before we went to CBank try credit unions as well.

#33 ACT mum

Posted 08 February 2017 - 05:52 AM

While your kids are young and expenses are high, consider doing interest only payments. It just eases the pressure At the start while Yu settle into later payments and moving expenses, and also while Yu have childcare costs etc.

I did a calculation on our house when we bought. Interest only payments were a bit more than the rent we would have to pay anyway, but averaged over five years as far less than the increase in house prices. So w were much better off buying sooner rather than later, when house prices would have gone up even further.

#34 Wonderstruck

Posted 08 February 2017 - 06:27 AM

Borrowing with a guarantor, even when it is family - is very messy. While I am lucky to have had accomodating parents who really wanted to help get us on the property ladder I can also understand while help of this nature may be difficult to offer.

Essentially a partial mortgage is put over their home. This will restrict what they can do with it until you pay off that portion of the loan. Offering a simple financial gift doesn't have those strings.

We considered what you are to avoid LMI but my ILs still had a significant mortgage on their home and my parents had business was the unencombered one and their home was mortgaged for the business. We decided not to in the end.

We ended up with a mortgage and paying for a wedding in the same year - our parents helped with the wedding costs.

Is it possible for you to take the financial gift to help clear the debts and to save for the deposit and stamp duty over the next year or so. Banks prefer to loan to people with a good savings history.

I know how frustrating it can be, while I own my own home (well the bank does) appartment living sucks - our place is too small and our neighbours cause issues all the time (filling the bins with bottles from a party rather than the recycling so we have no where to put our rubbish amongst other things). So even though it's my place and am on the strata committee it still feels like I don't own my own home as I can't do things the way I would etc. Unfortunately, I'm due with no.1 in a few weeks and we won't be able to afford a bigger place for a while so need to suck it up.

Have a look at the other options and see if there is another way to do it.

Good luck OP - house hunting and mortgage hunting can suck but in the end this may not be the one as circumstances may not allow but there will be others :)

#35 IkeaAddict

Posted 08 February 2017 - 07:08 AM

 Lunafreya, on 07 February 2017 - 06:26 PM, said:

We are thinking of a fake turf mat. Easier to keep green.

That sounds great, and easy maintenance too!! When we eventually do something with the front garden thats what we plan on doing.

hugs OP, just read your latest update

#36 Fresh Start

Posted 08 February 2017 - 08:12 AM

Sorry you had your hopes raised and dashed OP.

To avoid damage to family relationships I think you do have to calm down and try to see it from their side. It is risky for them to out their house up for your mortgage - if there was no risk your bank wouldn't want a guarantor.

At their stage of life that risk will feel huge - I think I'd feel it was a huge risk and I'm 43.

Good luck with it all, I hope something works out.

PS if it works out and you get this place I wouldn't use artificial turf for your DS to play on, it gets VERY hot. My neighbour put it on the nature strip and my DS kicked his thongs off to feel it one day, it was very warm on a warm, not hot, day.

Edited all my typos!

Edited by Nasty Start, 08 February 2017 - 10:56 AM.


#37 paddington_

Posted 08 February 2017 - 10:49 AM

I would avoid using parents assests as much as possible.
My brother used my parents fully paid for house as a 'loan' which meant they had to re-mortgage.
His circumstances changed,  now my parents are left with a $150k mortgage that they can't pay.
My bro is paying the interest off very slowly, but it's still a huge burden for my parents who are now in debt in their 70's.
No way I would put them or my PIL at risk for my own gain.

#38 Lunafreya

Posted 08 February 2017 - 11:07 AM

MIL said that if it was up to her she would say yes. She paid for FIL's house even though the deed is in FIL's name.

And he doesn't "get" using the house as a guarantor. It's not that he thinks it's risky, he's just never heard of it. This is a guy who has never had a ATM card.

#39 Charlies Angel

Posted 08 February 2017 - 11:30 AM

I can understand your disappointment - having your own home is an exciting proposition.

But given that you 'do have a bit of debt already' and don't have a deposit, most would probably view you as high risk. This is not your PILs fault.

Given that this is in the 'managing money' forum I would focus on clearing your debt and saving towards a deposit. Your PIL might then top it up so that you achieve your goal sooner - or maybe not. Go your own way.

PS moving out of Sydney sounds like a great plan with cheaper house prices. Would moving now (and renting) help with the savings? Something to consider as it will give you a chance to settle into the community you want to be in the longer term.

#40 Wonderstruck

Posted 08 February 2017 - 11:48 AM

PP makes a good point that this could be a good opportunity to rent something similar to see if you like the area etc. the likely cheaper rent will help you to save/clear the debts.

I actually have relatives who sold up in Sydney, rented for a bit up on the central coast and ended coming back as they didn't like it. Not to say you wouldn't but you wouldn't want to lose a lot in transaction costs if you disliked it and then wanted to sell.

#41 MadnessCraves

Posted 08 February 2017 - 11:50 AM

 Wonderstruck, on 08 February 2017 - 11:48 AM, said:

PP makes a good point that this could be a good opportunity to rent something similar to see if you like the area etc. the likely cheaper rent will help you to save/clear the debts.

I actually have relatives who sold up in Sydney, rented for a bit up on the central coast and ended coming back as they didn't like it. Not to say you wouldn't but you wouldn't want to lose a lot in transaction costs if you disliked it and then wanted to sell.

Wonderstruck is right. You should rent in the area you feel is good for you and the family. you may love or hate it or find the next suburb is better. Once you've bought the house, its much harder to up and move. Definitely try renting especially in new areas out of your usual zone.

#42 Gumbette

Posted 08 February 2017 - 02:25 PM

I grew up not far from there - Boyce Ave, Wyong to be exact!  TBH back then there really were no great restaurants and everything was / is bit run down, but honestly the place would be yours and you get to leave behind the drunks and the rat race.  The train service was also pretty good, plus they've upgraded the train station.  I hope you find something soon.

#43 Cimbom

Posted 08 February 2017 - 06:39 PM

Canberra is really affordable and has lots of jobs too - just as another option :)




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