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First time postpartum


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#1 MrsG2

Posted 03 June 2017 - 09:18 PM

DS was born six weeks ago via forceps.. because he was in distress , I had an episiotomy and got a third degree tear in the rush to deliver hum. I do feel healed, but haven't had sex since the delivery (scared lol ).. anyone with a similarl experience ? Does it hurt the first time? Does everything work? Sorry for The awkward topic .. just wanting to know...

#2 afterlaughter

Posted 03 June 2017 - 09:25 PM

I waited till 8 weeks, wasn't painful unless hubby hit the perineum which only happened once. We took it slow overall. Sex was often painful for me pre birth though and has been better for me since my daughter was born.

#3 Mooples

Posted 03 June 2017 - 09:31 PM

I can't remember how long we waited but it was after my 6 week check up. I was still a bit tender. It was pretty uncomfortable, we took it very slow and used quite a bit of lube. It got better every time and soon enough it was back to normal. Congratulations on the birth of your ds.

#4 Jingleflea

Posted 03 June 2017 - 09:36 PM

I couldn't even THINK about it till DD was about 4 months old.

Be aware breastfeeding and hormones can make you drier than usual and lower your libido(so there's no second baby taking the first one's nutrients, biology FTW!)and you can't use breastfeeding as contraception, no matter what you've heard!

#5 Paddlepop

Posted 03 June 2017 - 09:41 PM

Forceps, no episiotomy, 4th degree tearing. I waited until 8 to 10 weeks post partum. I was too nervous and tender to try before then. It did hurt a bit but nothing awful or particularly painful. Mainly I was tender from the damage. Take it slow, have plenty of lube and/or foreplay, and be prepared to stop if needed. You might need to adjust positioning to avoid scar tissue. Everything worked.

It got better with time, and more like it used to be before birth. After a year or two it was completely back to normal. Seven years on, and it's all completely normal except for one tiny patch of scar tissue internally that only bothers me in one position, so we either avoid that position or make adjustments to it to avoid it being an issue.

If you do find that you have pain that doesn't improve with time, you might need to see a gynaecologist to have your scars and stitching redone.

And yes, contraception!

#6 seayork2002

Posted 03 June 2017 - 10:13 PM

I had a straight forward delivery but waited 12 months - no way was i letting anything go there unless it was medical but by then it was all back to normal

#7 MissMilla

Posted 03 June 2017 - 10:55 PM

For me it did hurt a little and i brought it up at the 6 week appointment. Dr said its very normal, looks healed and all and just be careful and slow the first few times and it will get better each time we have sex. She was right after a few times it went from pain to discomfort and about 12 weeks after birth i finally enjoyed it again. The pain wasnt constant it was mainly at the beginning and just a little. If you do feel some sort of pain maybe mention it to your dr just to make sure its all healed properly. They should check that anyways at 6 weeks though.

#8 Wonderstruck

Posted 04 June 2017 - 07:33 PM

I'm 14 weeks pp and haven't gone there yet. I'm not sure what to expect especially as I laboured and started pushing but ended up in an emergency caesarean (tiny tear but traumatic birth) I found it actually uncomfortable when pregnant so I haven't been rushing back just yet.

Since breastfeed didn't work out for us (I stopped at 8 weeks pp) I can go and get the pill rather than mini pill so will do that and take it from there. I also am get to have AF rock up so I'm all confused.

I think the anxiety about how it might go makes it more scary.

Edited by Wonderstruck, 04 June 2017 - 07:36 PM.


#9 Hands Up

Posted 04 June 2017 - 07:53 PM

With DS1 I was ready at seven weeks after a second degree tear. We took things very slowly, with lube, and I only had minor discomfort. Within a month things were back to normal.

With DS2 I had a first degree tear but was completely shattered with the two kids. I wasn't ready for four months.

Everyone recovers differently. Don't push yourself. There are other ways and means!!

#10 Bono25

Posted 04 June 2017 - 09:21 PM

I didn't have forceps,  but did have a third degree tear and epi. It was probably 4 months before I wanted to be touched and I did have alot of pain.  I ended up having further surgery a year later to fix the scar tissue.  I still have some pain,  which I think might be the epi scar.  
Use lots of lube and take it slow.
I'm putting it out there as well that if you're an "older" mum, you might need some oestrogen cream.  After dd2   I was in agony, so my Dr prescribed some hormone cream and it's helped alot.

#11 MrsG2

Posted 05 June 2017 - 10:39 AM

Thanks for your responses, I guess it's a matter of just re-adjusting to things.. I'll wait till I'm 100% ready but I do feel sorry for dh. He's been so patient and helpful .. poor thing

#12 JinksNewton

Posted 05 June 2017 - 10:48 AM

View PostMrsG2, on 05 June 2017 - 10:39 AM, said:

Thanks for your responses, I guess it's a matter of just re-adjusting to things.. I'll wait till I'm 100% ready but I do feel sorry for dh. He's been so patient and helpful .. poor thing
There's lots of things you can do (if you want) to make him happy that don't involve PIV sex. Just saying ;)
And it was months for us after DS, mainly due to stuff not healing well and hormonal issues.

#13 jem_cat

Posted 05 June 2017 - 11:25 AM

I had forceps birth with episiotomy.
We really struggled with this because it was so painful. It wasn't made easier with DS being a rubbish sleeper, meant we could never really relax.
We kept trying for a while, and eventually went back to Dr, turns out I had granulated scar tissue (I think that is what it is called). It wasn't bad enough to get picked up at 6 week check up, but got worse and worse, until I realised this was more than normal pain.
So if you try , and find it doesn't get any better, don't be afraid to go back to doctor just get everything checked.

#14 Guest_Willis023_*

Posted 05 June 2017 - 08:31 PM

View PostMrsG2, on 05 June 2017 - 10:39 AM, said:

Thanks for your responses, I guess it's a matter of just re-adjusting to things.. I'll wait till I'm 100% ready but I do feel sorry for dh. He's been so patient and helpful .. poor thing

We didn't manage sex until after 9 months! And I had an emergency CS...our baby just never slept.

Patience is deserved after everything a woman goes through :)




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