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how do you decide when you could go either way?


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#1 Always amazed!

Posted 26 June 2017 - 03:16 PM

how do you decide whether or not to have another child when your split 50/50??

hubby and I have been in talks about having another child...

We cant make up our minds...  one minute we cant think of anything else we would rather do and the next i dont want another...

I was so sure our last was going to be our last. but now i dont know

i know theirs the head vs heart thing and honestly we can make both work.

we cant seem to make a decision either way and i hate being stuck in limbo!

( put it in here as we have 6 so if we had another it would be no7)

#2 Literary Lemur

Posted 26 June 2017 - 03:24 PM

What are the pro and cons?

#3 BeStill

Posted 26 June 2017 - 03:26 PM

What are your reasons for wanting another child/ do you want another baby or are you equally as excited about the idea of a preschooler, teenager and adult child? I know for me that was the decider. I'd love seven million more babies but I am not ready to raise another preschooler or teen and I don't fee the drive for another adult child in our further.

#4 ~river song~

Posted 26 June 2017 - 04:30 PM

How do I decide? I decide based on what I can handle both physically and emotionally. How will another child impact the whole family financially and emotionally and will it be a positive or negative impact.
Just because we can do something doesn't mean we should.
My husband wants another (it'd make 4) but I don't. As the mother who would be pregnant, morning sickness for months, newborn period (ugh) time away from work and loss of income, my body taking the hit again, I feel the final word comes down to me (or you as mum) because ultimately it will impact on you the most.


#5 BadCat

Posted 26 June 2017 - 04:45 PM

Have you tried tossing a coin?

No, seriously.

Heads you have another, tails you don't.  Toss the coin.  See how disappointed or happy you are with the result.  You obviously don't have to follow the result but the feeling you have when you see that head or tail come up might be enough to tell you which way you truly want to go.

Of course if you both do the test individually and your feelings are opposite this really isn't going to help at all.  :lol:

#6 Mrs Claus

Posted 26 June 2017 - 05:14 PM

I figured if I was 100% sure then I didn't 100% want another which is a no. I think if I wanted another I'd be 100% sure

#7 Ianthe

Posted 26 June 2017 - 05:23 PM

I knew 100% when I was done. I have five. Now they're all older I am extra happy we 'only' have five because we are poor and old :lol:



#8 littleboysmum

Posted 26 June 2017 - 05:39 PM

Like a PP said, if it was just about another baby I'd have 5 more. I LOVE babies. But I know that I am done (with 3), as babies turn into, toddlers, preschoolers and children etc. I feel really sad that I'm done with babies but I know physically and emotionally I can manage 3 well but am not sure the same could be said for any more.

I would be considering the impact that another baby would have in the family/ existing children. I am
Lucky hat DH and I are on the same page in this regard, I feel for you being uncertain. Babies are really tempting little creatures!! Good luck making your decision and I wish you all the best either way.

#9 marple

Posted 26 June 2017 - 05:49 PM

I'm the same. I would love to be pregnant again , and then enjoy that gorgeous first year. But, beautiful babies turn into teenagers that at times make you want to run away from your own house. There's the rub. They suck you in by being so damn cute when they are young . Mind you I've got 4 so probably not the best person to ask.

#10 livvie7586

Posted 26 June 2017 - 06:03 PM

When we were undecided, we decided to stop preventing a pregnancy,  and gave ourselves a year.  If in that year i fell pregnant, great, if not, well that was that.

We were happy to add a 5th person in to our family, so the pros were more about going back to the very start rather than actual issues.

#11 Feral Grey Mare

Posted 26 June 2017 - 06:10 PM

View PostBadCat, on 26 June 2017 - 04:45 PM, said:

Have you tried tossing a coin?

No, seriously.

Heads you have another, tails you don't.  Toss the coin.  See how disappointed or happy you are with the result.  You obviously don't have to follow the result but the feeling you have when you see that head or tail come up might be enough to tell you which way you truly want to go.

Of course if you both do the test individually and your feelings are opposite this really isn't going to help at all.  :lol:

The old story was that you should toss a coin for any difficult decision because once the coin is in the air you suddenly know what you want the answer to be.

#12 bakesgirls

Posted 26 June 2017 - 06:31 PM

I have 4 now. I could easily have lots of babies, but I'm not keen on having more children unless they can go straight to adulthood. I love love love babies, I also like teenagers and adults, but I don't think I could handle anymore young children. I find young children monotonous to raise. I love mine dearly but I want it to be over so I can have my life back.

That and this last pregnancy just took it out of me. The older I get, the harder each pregnancy is.



#13 4keykne

Posted 27 June 2017 - 10:00 AM

I really don't like the baby stage! But I Love the children and young adults that form from them. I would love another child at the moment I am trying to decide if I could handle the baby bit.

At the moment my husband is a flat out no and I would do it in a second. Our decision will be made when we both have the same opinion as until both on board for another member of the family we can't add to it. If I have a bad baby day I need DH there to pick up the pieces.

#14 Always amazed!

Posted 27 June 2017 - 10:58 AM

Thank you for all your replies..

Love babies love pregnancy and love my children as they have grown up. eldest is 10 so no idea if i will like the teenage stage yet!




We have asked the other kids if they wanted another baby and all but 1 said yes.

there are many pros and cons to both sides.

MIght try tossing that coin!




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