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Issues with day care and me. What should I do?


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#1 c.sanders

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:24 AM

What do you think I should do here? I am thinking of speaking to the owner but I want to gather my thoughts and get your advise before I do. I haven't said anything so far but I've been feeling bad for awhile.
I've been on mat leave and studying full time for about a year now.
Ds1 started attending almost 5years ago. The workers there have a number of issues with me this last year. It is almost impossible for me to get the kids to the centre before 10.30. This is because once I wake and feed all 3 it takes time, to get there by 10.30 we are often up around 8.30 to 9am but at least 1 chucks a tantrum or something happens etc.
I do evening classes so I don't get home until 10.30pm or later and then have to stay awake to study and ds3 is often feeding a lot at night. So I've had them say to me things like "what's the point of you bringing them here if they miss the activities etc" I bring them so I can get study and assignments done during the day and so I can get to uni on time (i have to leave the house at 4pm). I've also often had them call me to ask me to swap days with working parents because they tell me their needs are more important. I've told them no since I won't be able to get to uni on time etc but I still get the calls. Anyway, today they emailed and said we haven't been bringing fruit in for the last few weeks and they use fruit to have conversations as they are eating them. Fruit is served in little cups around 10.15 (I think it's meant to be 10.30). I've always brought fruit religiously but I've stopped a few weeks ago because I've found out that my kids never actually get any fruit, even when they come and kids are eating fruit, even though the carers know they are coming, no fruit is given or kept for them. I even provided a large watermelon a few months back and it was not given to my kids. I'm assuming to gets given the next day. I'm happy to start providing the fruit again, but should I leave it at that or should I say something?

#2 Mooples

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:32 AM

I have no advice about the daycare aspects but is your ds off to school next year? I’m assuming he’s 5 if he’s been at day care for almost 5 years. If so I would use this time to start establishing a new routine because arriving at school at 10:30 won’t be acceptable. I’m amazed and jealous you have 3 kids that sleep until 8:30-9, I’m stoked when my only child sleeps until 7:30!

#3 mfpea

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:33 AM

I assume this is family daycare? I regularly drop my daughter off after 10.30- I pay for a full day and I don't see how it affects anyone what time she arrives! Some kids are picked up at 3 or 3.30 but my daughter is there until 5.30 or 6. Parents have different schedules. They sound bizarre to be honest... and studying or working or even staying at home, if you have a place at the centre you are paying for then I don't think they have the right to ask you to swap days because someone is more 'important'.

Edited by mfpea, 11 October 2017 - 11:34 AM.


#4 Heather11

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:37 AM

Is your eldest child in the preschool room at childcare because I would think that would be an issue if you are getting there late?

#5 Heather11

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:40 AM

View PostMooples, on 11 October 2017 - 11:32 AM, said:

I have no advice about the daycare aspects but is your ds off to school next year? I’m assuming he’s 5 if he’s been at day care for almost 5 years. If so I would use this time to start establishing a new routine because arriving at school at 10:30 won’t be acceptable. I’m amazed and jealous you have 3 kids that sleep until 8:30-9, I’m stoked when my only child sleeps until 7:30!

Yes, I thought the same if the child is off to school next year.  They will be starting transition visits some time this term and they almost always are held from the beginning of the school day.

#6 MerryMadrigalMadge

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:40 AM

I can see how they might prefer that children all arrive by a certain time, but that's just something that is what it is - unless they have a kind of session program for kinder at daycare?

But Mooples point is relevant too - is it school next year for your eldest? Routines will have to change.

#7 lozoodle

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:40 AM

Honestly I can understand that being a bit of an issue, not that it should be, but really... 10.30 is pretty disruptive when most of them have all settled into a routine, especially if the older kid is in the pre school room.
I'd probably just start setting my alarm and getting up earlier, say 6.30, getting myself ready, kids up at 7 and ready so i could be out the door at 8/8.30. Its going to have to happen with school anyway... and also, this benefits me, the longer they're at care, the more freedom i have hehe

#8 boysescakes

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:46 AM

NOt to sound harsh, but I do see there point.
Why not find a childcare that suits your needs? Missing activities and fruit time is because you are there late. It must be a disruption every day to the rest of the group.
You say you can't get there before 10:30. What will happen when your children go to school? They won't cater to your needs of being late. You perhaps need to look at your scheduling/organisation and work your time better, or like I said before, find somewhere more suited to your needs.

#9 mandala

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:47 AM

I have let my son's daycare know that I have flexible workdays and can move if needed - and they give me the flexibility on the other side, when I need an extra day here or there they really work to try to fit me in. I would just say, "Sorry, that doesn't work for me this time."

Honestly, if it were me, I'd send the fruit and ignore the rest. As you say, you're paying for the place, and that's the timing that works for your family. Some families are early, some are late. I can see, though, their point about the disruption for other kids.

I would, however, have a think about whether it might be time to change things up before school starts. That is definitely a time when being late is disruptive to the class and even more so to your child.

#10 No Drama Please

Posted 11 October 2017 - 11:51 AM

I don't think they should be deciding who needs daycare more and then assuming that you don't need it because you are studying, not working.  You are all paying the same amount.  If you book your child in and and pay for them, it's not up to daycare to decide someone else needs it more.

I agree with PP's that now is the time to be working towards an earlier start if your child is going to school next year. It's not going to work if they are getting dropped off at school at 10.30am.  Now might be a good time to get them used to school type hours.

#11 c.sanders

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:02 PM

It's not family day care. Just normal day care. I pay a full day regardless.
I can't wake at 6am now since I'm going to bed midnight at the earliest and waking multiple times due to ds3 breastfeeding at night.
Next year I will be back at work and this won't be an issue.

When they arrive kids are just playing usually outside. No specific task necessarily. Their main issue is they miss activities but I'm not sending them for activities.

Edited by c.sanders, 11 October 2017 - 12:05 PM.


#12 Not Escapin Xmas

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:03 PM

Send the fruit, ignore the rest and then spend your time thinking about how you are going to get your oldest to school by 9am in 3 months time!!

ETA: and tell them (maybe an email to the boss?) to stop calling you to ask to change days. How bloody rude!

Edited by Not Escapin Xmas, 11 October 2017 - 12:04 PM.


#13 Riotproof

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:08 PM

So you only need them for three more months?

I think ignoring them and finding somewhere different for the baby might be the best bet. You could send fruit but give your kids a banana as you arrive?

#14 Seven of Nine

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:09 PM

Daycare exists so that parents can work or study. Sure there can be other benefits, but its primary purpose is to provide care for your kids while you and your husband are busy elsewhere. You should use it in a way that suits you and your family. Don't reduce your sleep just to get the kids there earlier.

I think I'd provide the fruit, but make no other changes.

#15 2_little_boys

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:13 PM

Everyone is looking at it as "only 3 more months"

But that's only for the eldest child.

There are still 2 other children that presumably will still be attending.

Really if you are paying the full day its none of their business when you drop off.  Do they similarly harass the parents that pick up at 3pm?  Same thing just opposite end of the day.

#16 marple

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:28 PM

View Postc.sanders, on 11 October 2017 - 12:02 PM, said:

It's not family day care. Just normal day care. I pay a full day regardless.
I can't wake at 6am now since I'm going to bed midnight at the earliest and waking multiple times due to ds3 breastfeeding at night.
Next year I will be back at work and this won't be an issue.

When they arrive kids are just playing usually outside. No specific task necessarily. Their main issue is they miss activities but I'm not sending them for activities.


You only have a few months to get all that  sorted then? Maybe start with small steps?

#17 c.sanders

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:43 PM

I've asked the carers and they've advised they are missing out on the fruit. When I've asked if they can be given fruit they've said no. So I have been feeding them fruit before sending them. In regards to swapping days I hear this every year, this year alone I've been asked over 5 times some occasions even twice in 1 day  by different carers.
They have in the past asked the kids to be picked up more early but I think someone might have said something so they no longer ask. Dh picks them up, not me, depending on when he can finish work. But before 6 of course.

overall I am paranoid to change centres. The only other one near me has a lot more kids and too huge, the play area is not very nice either in my opinion.

I don't have a problem dropping them early if I'm no at class all evening like currently.

In the past I've normally dropped them around 8.30am when I'm working.

#18 CallMeFeral

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:48 PM

They sound utterly awful.
If all their activities are done by 10.30am, then what the heck are they doing with the rest of the day?
My youngest kids always got to daycare at around 10.30am and it was never an issue. There is a routine to the day and that was my kids routine - and of course there were activities all day.

I'm just flabbergasted about the rest, I would never have thought a daycare could do that stuff (hassle people to swap or pick up early etc) - you're paying for the whole day! I honestly don't even know where to start for that! In all my years of daycare at two different centres they have never done any of that stuff to us...

#19 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:50 PM

Are they all in daycare? Or just the older ones? If they are all in daycare, I'd probably get them up early and take them to daycare and then go back home and do the study in that two hours, instead of late at night and you go to bed earlier as well?

I get the feeding a lot at night, but you will have that next year too (whether you bf or not, he still could be waking a lot.) I think that is unfortunately one of those suck it up type things we have as parents.

I get it, I really do, I much prefer the days I am at home on holidays or when my Mum is looking after DS so I don't have bundle out the door all fed before 8am. But, such is life really!

Also, you can't really expect them to cut up a watermelon at 10:15 for a 10:30 morning tea. They would be getting lunch ready at that stage, surely? So it makes sense they are serving your fruit the next day. If you were there at 8am then perhaps they would end up with the fruit you bring?

Edited by FeralRebelWClaws, 11 October 2017 - 12:53 PM.


#20 c.sanders

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:53 PM

No they don't have availability for ds3 on all the days. They also can't keep him fo more than a few hours. He's just started and still breastfeed a lot so can't say for more than few hours. I get done whatever I can when I can but need both day and night to do it.


Re the watermelon,  we were early that day and they also have afternoon tea so could have been given it then but were given biscuits. They were surprised I wanted/expected them to give my kids the watermelon.

Edited by c.sanders, 11 October 2017 - 12:55 PM.


#21 Lady Gray

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:54 PM

View PostCallMeFeral, on 11 October 2017 - 12:48 PM, said:

They sound utterly awful.
If all their activities are done by 10.30am, then what the heck are they doing with the rest of the day?
My youngest kids always got to daycare at around 10.30am and it was never an issue. There is a routine to the day and that was my kids routine - and of course there were activities all day.

I'm just flabbergasted about the rest, I would never have thought a daycare could do that stuff (hassle people to swap or pick up early etc) - you're paying for the whole day! I honestly don't even know where to start for that! In all my years of daycare at two different centres they have never done any of that stuff to us...

I totally agree with this, I'm genuinely surprised that some people think what the centre is doing is OK.  

If it were me I would find another centre but it sounds like that is much easier said than done.  Perhaps just provide the fruit and ask the director to instruct the employees to stop calling you about swapping days.

Edited by Lady Gray, 11 October 2017 - 12:54 PM.


#22 chicken_bits

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:56 PM

In all honesty, that sounds like a really dodgy centre. If it was just your 5 year old I'd be sucking it up for the next few months, but considering you've got a baby (or toddler) who will be in care for the next 4-5 years, I'd be looking at moving centres. You don't want to be dealing with this long term even if your schedule changes, you'll still end up with other issues. huge red flags there. Sorry OP! Finding a new daycare sucks... I had to do it last year when there were issues at our previous centre.

#23 bandbub

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:58 PM

i understand where they are coming from and would be getting my children to daycare earlier
what are you going to do when your son goes to school?

#24 Greatmum

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:58 PM

They cant make u or suggest to change days if u r working or studying.

I wouldn't b taking fruit either if they never get any or are not there at fruit time.

It shouldn't matter what time u drop off u r paying for whole day. I have had friends drop off their kids at this time as they have other children that need to get to school etc.

Edited by Greatmum, 11 October 2017 - 01:00 PM.


#25 Gonzy

Posted 11 October 2017 - 12:59 PM

I can't believe people are being judgmental about the time the OP drops the kids at a service she is PAYING for.  What happens next year when her oldest child is in school will be for her to manage then, not for others to judge now.  And come on, the OP is studying herself so she clearly understands the value of education and will ensure her child is ready and able to receive his.

OP, your center sounds pretty annoying to me TBH. Childcare is presumably provided between the hours of 7.30-6pm and how you choose to use that time is really up to you.  You're paying for the full day regardless so I fail to see why they feel they have a right to gripe.

Fruit wise, I would probably be inclined to say something like "Very happy to provide fruit provided my children are also able to receive some".  As for swapping days, who are they to dictate who needs a day more than someone else.  I think you are well within your rights to say thanks but no thanks to any requested changes.




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