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What does a day with twins look like for you?
11 replies to this topic
Posted 21 October 2017 - 03:08 PM
I am a stay at home mum who works casually from home during school hours. My daughter is nearly 6 and son is nearly 4. We are expecting twins mid-December and I'm wondering what a day looks like for you?
I am self-employed and have cut my clients down to two with the idea of getting some outsourced help during the early months, but I am having trouble finding someone who is suitable. So I think I may need to fit in an hour a day for work. I'm having trouble imagining what it must be like to have twins to look after and manage a workload in between. Luckily their birth will co-incide with Christmas holidays but that is only a couple of weeks.
Do you get much time to yourself? Is it as crazy as everyone says it is? Is what I'm planning to do doable?
Thanks you for sharing in advance!
Posted 21 October 2017 - 07:15 PM
My twins are just over 1.5yrs now and my eldest 4yrs.
I've been studying for most of this year (since Feb) when the twins were 10months.
DH had 4 months parental leave when the twins were born, and we kept DD in day care for 2 days.
I found the first 6ish months incredibly chaotic... and my twins were born "full term" ( almost 38weeks) with no complications (no special care nursery or anything) so there were no health concerns or feeding issues (on their end... my faulty boobs made things a bit tricky, but *they* fed well) or anything to contend with and complicate things.
The first few months were pretty much just feed, change, put to sleep on repeat. Once they got to 4/5 months things started to change and once they established a 2 nap day pattern things got 1000 times easier to manage.
How much support will you have from your partner?.... I wouldn't have been able to do 1hr if work every day even with DH home but if I had to, I probably would have managed more often than not.
As for do you get time to yourself.... it depends on your point of view. I don't remember the last time I got to shower alone (at least 1 of the girls joins me) or sleep in bed with just hubby all night (the girls get put to bed in their own beds but when they wake during the night I co sleep with them in their bed). But I love studying, and that's my "me" time. And in that hour or so DH resettled the kids if they wake so I can study uninterrupted.
Having twins is crazy.... a singleton is definitely easier, but I wouldn't swap my twins for anything. It's hard, but it is very special.
Posted 21 October 2017 - 10:40 PM
They aren’t your first so that’s a plus, you know what those sleepless nights are like. I remember falling asleep on the couch once my ex got home from work, I would feed both when one woke at night so that I could sleep more. Everything runs on routine to keep life running smoothly but honestly once they were here they just slotted in like they had always been there, it was exhausting while they were waking through the night but once they were sleeping a solid 8 hours it was alright
Posted 22 October 2017 - 09:42 AM
I have a 22 month age gap between my twins and my oldest, so they are bit closer in age than yours will be, which means your older kids are hopefully more independent than mine was (she was still really a baby herself).
However, I can’t imagine trying to work with them at home. Admittedly they have never been the best nappers, but there is rarely a moment where someone doesn’t need me between 6am and 7:30pm. And then there is all the mess from the day to deal with. The twins are now almost 18 months and I can get a bit more done than I used to but they also get into things more than twice as much as their sister did.
Posted 22 October 2017 - 10:16 AM
It was busy, really busy and I am very organised. I actually loved it and ran it (with my 18mnth old) like a mini daycare.
I grabbed lie downs and sleeps whenever I could and made use of visitors to help me bath the babies.
I had to give up our farms office work when they were little, they were over one before I picked it up again. Too tired, my brain could not concentrate.
Congratulations to you, I would love to have twins again.
Posted 22 October 2017 - 02:29 PM
I have 15 month twins and the first few months are a blur to me. No way I would have had the mental ability to do work during the first 6 months. Mine weren’t good sleepers and despite my best attempts could not get them in a synced routine (mine are fraternal so as different as any other siblings) so the lack of sleep alone would have renedered me useless.
They, of course, are totally worth it and once the slowly started to sleep more it has become much easier and I think now I would be able to do extra work while looking after them at home.
Posted 22 October 2017 - 06:39 PM
Op, I have a 2.5 year old and 8 month old twins. I think you could fit in an hour of work a day when they are little, but unlike my first, I personally find they have gotten more difficult as they get older and teeth/are frustrated by their limitations etc etc.
It is very very difficult, I'm not going to lie. Some days feel near impossible and others are better, depending on how many times I am up during the night. It is totally worth it but I think you really have to be quite low in your expectations of your life and house etc. I learn this each day and still overdo it. If you breastfeed, expect that to take a lot of time.
Feel free to pm with any specific questions - more than happy to help!
Edit: Please for your own sake, never convince yourself not to wake up the other for feeding if one is awake. I spent months up all night and then remembered that I used to wake them both up at the same time! 😒
Edited by newmumandexcited, 22 October 2017 - 06:42 PM.
Posted 23 November 2017 - 04:20 PM
Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. It does sound like it may be too difficult to manage. I completely get the whole brain drain issue, I was trying to do some work recently and could not focus at all, and this is before the bubs are here.
I have told my clients about my situation and both actually have family members who have had twins so both are very understanding.
My husband will have about 4 weeks of leave up his sleeve but then after that I'm on my own. The two older kids will either be in school or daycare but I can imagine between the feeds, the nappy changes, just looking at my boys, resting, keeping the house and cooking the day will fill up pretty fast.
Only 2 weeks to go now! I can't yet imagine life with two little ones out of my belly yet
Posted 24 November 2017 - 10:54 AM
I am supposed to be working right now, but that's the upside of being the boss I guess, I get to play on EB when i want a few minutes break.
I haven't read all replies so apologies if I waffle. I do think it is doable, but being organised helps.
I worked from home when my twins arrived, I officially finished work 4 hours before they were born (37 weeks, so full term) and had around 10 days off before I started doing only the essential stuff. It was a shuffle for a while and I sometimes caught up on stuff at midnight or 4am or whenever I could. I also had two older children, but it wasn't a solo business, but a family business with me doing admin, so things didn't stop 100% if I was out of action.
My only advice would be if you are getting outside help, but still need to put time in the business maybe consider a cleaner/nanny etc to make your life easier when/where you can
Posted 05 December 2017 - 06:51 PM
My twins are now 9 months old. I also have a 3,5 and 7 year old.
I actually found those early days easy. From day 1, I settled the girls for their day sleeps in the stroller. That way, if I had to do the school run, I didn't have to wake them, we would just walk to school. Also, I could wheel them around the house and gently rock the stroller to get them to sleep while been on my phone or computer.
I started back working from home when they were about 4 months. I wasn't intending to but a great opportunity came up that I couldn't refuse. An hour a day was still definitely doable.
Now they are older, I mainly work of an evening. They are not waking so much so I can stay up later :-) But I still manage an hour or so most days, although I never commit to it otherwise I find myself getting too stressed if things don't go to plan.
Good luck with it all. Twins are exciting. You are entering a special club :-)
Posted 05 December 2017 - 07:18 PM
A rough routine is:
*7-7.30 - wake up, breakfast and make lunch for big kids. The babies are happy to play on the floor. If they start whinging, I normally send one of the big kids too talk to them. Too much complaining and it is time to pop them in the stroller for a nap.
8.30am - walk to school. Babies used to sleep on the way there but their sleep is getting later and later.
9.30am - home again. Normally pick up a few things for the local shop for lunch and dinner on the way home. Babies will normally sleep until 10.30 or so. I run around cleaning kitchen, doing washing etc.
10.30am - babies wake. Play, etc etc. The good thing with two is I never feel guilty leaving them on the rug while I do things around the house. Although now they are crawling it is a little more challenging
2ish - normally the babies have a short nap. About 2.30pm I head out to the school and preschool
3.30pm - home again. Snacks for everyone then play outside while I do dinner
5.30pm - dinner time.
6pm - babies bedtime. Kids play quietly while I put them to bed. Although these days it is a quick feed, into sleep suits a nd put in cot awake.
6.30 - 8pm - homework and time with big kids.
8pm - bedtime
8-8.30-prep for next day and tidy house
I normally work until about 11pm. I quite enjoy my work at the moment, so that is my hobby. It is a bit more challenging when my husband is around as he wants to spend time together of an evening.
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