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Not excited about upcoming holiday

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#1 VVV

Posted 28 December 2017 - 05:49 PM

We leave for a holiday next week and I don't feel excited at all, in fact I would happily forfeit the money spent and cancel but it is not fair to my family. The reason I don't want to go is because I am overweight and I just don't think I'm going to enjoy myself because of my weight. I don't feel like being around frolicking gorgeous people at the beach. There's not much I can do about it now considering we leave next week, but I know that I need to lose weight for health (both physical and mental.)

In the meantime, how do I get over feeling like this and have a good time regardless. A very first world problem, I know.

#2 ~Jolly_F~

Posted 28 December 2017 - 05:56 PM

Maybe try and change your mindset.

Think about it like this - if I go on this holiday and I mope around feeling like I do now about it, I am going to make my family have a bad time, regret not making memories with them and regret not enjoying the time we had to spend together.

Maybe go and buy some swimwear/beachwear that you feel confortable in to wear while you are away.

#3 Flaxen

Posted 28 December 2017 - 05:59 PM

I feel the same. Our beach holiday is in 2 weeks but i feel exactly the same re weight issues.
I wanted to lose some weight and tried, but after stacking it on earlier in the year it just hasnt budged.

Im just going to be telling myself, sure i dont feel comfortable with how i look, but no one will know me there and so who cares.

Edited by Flaxen, 28 December 2017 - 06:00 PM.

#4 Babetty

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:01 PM

I love seeing people enjoying themselves at the beach. I bet if you throw yourself into splashing in the water, building sandcastles, collecting shells or whatever your kids love to do, all that anyone would think when they see you is "what a lovely family" or "wow, look at her smile"!

#5 night jasmine

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:01 PM

Focus on the change of scenery, a break from responsibilities, warm weather, sea air, long sunny days, the kids enjoying themselves.

#6 aluminium

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:02 PM

I am right there with you, OP. I feel this post in all kinds of ways.

My best suggestion is to connect with the present moment.

I know you will feel uncomfortable - try to sit with those feelings, accept them, allow them to be there so that when you get home, you can use them as a catalyst for change.

But while you're way - acknowledge those feelings but re-direct your focus on the joy your kids are feeling, the scenery, the change of pace, the feel of the water and the sun. Anything that is positive - focus on it! and you will get through it all.

Good luck OP.

#7 Holidayromp

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:06 PM

A few wines if you are that way inclined helps :)

#8 RichardParker

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:08 PM

Get a spray tan. Then use the holiday to get back into being active. Be thankful you’re alive and embrace who you are. Please don’t let your perception of yourself stop you actively playing with your kids. My mum did that and it was awful- no-one cares what you look like, they care how engaged you are and if you’re too busy worrying about your weight to enjoy yourself, you’ll be insufferably boring. Being boring is a sin.

#9 spartan_mum

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:09 PM

I am a little overweight and not that happy with how I look either so I wear a supportive one piece swimming costume so I feel comfortable and a nice kaftan so again I feel nice with what I am wearing. This is for me not others.

I just figure when I’m out on the beach I couldn’t care less about what other people look like so I figure most other people think the same so why bother even thinking about it.  There will always be georgeous people far better looking than me so don’t fight it, don’t pay them any attention (I could almost guarantee they aren’t giving you a thought either, and not because you’re overweight but because everyone is too caught up in their own issues/having a great time themselves etc to give a random person at the beach much thought. Over weight or not)

Wear things that make you comfortable and enjoy your holiday. You deserve to enjoy this time with your family - whatever your size

Edited by spartan_mum, 28 December 2017 - 06:13 PM.

#10 Sweet.Pea

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:18 PM

View PostHolidayromp, on 28 December 2017 - 06:06 PM, said:

A few wines if you are that way inclined helps :)

It really does!

Plus if people are looking and judging you then they aren't enjoying life, which is pretty sad.

I'm overweight and happy to go to the beach and have a good time. I'm not shamed by my weight because who cares what people think?

If you are concerned about your health, try thinking that an unhealthy mind is just as bad as an unhealthy body.

I'm not discouraging you from losing weight, but please do it the healthy way - you can speak to your doctor and they will help you.

And enjoy your holiday and have fun!

#11 Veritas Vinum Arte

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:23 PM

I am the other way. I enjoy being on holiday and dont give a rats about how I look in a bikini (as I don't know anyone).

Last beach holiday I had an extra 20% bodyweight and felt terrible and depressed in myself, but knowing I would be relaxing where no one knew me I could let it all hang out and wear a bikini..... something I would never do locally.

Actually this year I am 20% lighter, am at my ideal body weight...... but refuse to wear the bikini as there are people I know hereabouts.

For me the "I will never see these people again" is a great mindset too.

#12 BornToLove

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:36 PM

I bet you that you won’t be the only woman dealing with the same issues. No one is judging, if anything, envious of the ones who aren’t letting their weight hold them back from enjoying a well deserved holiday.

So go, enjoy yourself and make happy memories with your family. You deserve a holiday away.

#13 Soontobegran

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:38 PM

I did not do beach holidays for years as my arm and legs are covered in scars from my accident and surgeries, I was way too self conscious to expose myself but with encouragement of friends and my DH last year I stripped off on a beach holiday and a cruise and it was empowering.....nobody gave a toss about me and how I looked and for the first time in a long while I could get cool.
I am also a 16/20 dependent on the brand so I was overweight and scarred.

Please let it go OP.......people do not care as much as you think they will.

#14 magnanimous

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:43 PM

I’m a lot overweight- size 18 at the moment. We go swimming a lot and am going to a Fijian island next week. I can’t wait.

I’d like to lose some weight - who wouldn’t. But I don’t give a toss how I look in my swimmers and I bet very few other people do either. I’m just one more fat middle aged woman in the background having fun with her family. And that’s not such a bad thing at all.

#15 No Drama Please

Posted 28 December 2017 - 06:52 PM

Take a look around and I think you’ll find there’s plenty of us at that swimming pool, all different shapes and sizes, who feel exactly the same as you.

I found a one piece that kind of shoved my tummy in a bit and brought some dresses on sale that are new at least and actually made me feel a lot better (I never buy new clothes because I want to lose weight first, which never happens).

Enjoy your holiday, it honestly will be great xx

#16 Pip_longstockings

Posted 28 December 2017 - 07:45 PM

I am carrying extra weight at the moment too. I understand exactly how you feel.

I was at the beach today and saw three overweight women. They were probably all in their 50's. They all had smiles on their faces and were laughing and having a great time. They all had on fantastic, but modest black one piece swimmers. I thought they looked fabulous. A bit on confidence goes a long way.

I made a mental note to myself to just enjoy things rather than trying to hide under the umbrella. I will keep them in mind next time I go to the beach. Although I know that is harder said then done.

#17 Ianthe

Posted 28 December 2017 - 07:53 PM

We are supposed to go away next week too. I am really annoyed about it and I am seriously thinking of staying home for a myriad of reasons.

1) it's with the in laws (most of them are ok but a couple are really intense)
2) we are camping-I don't camp
3) it's 14 fecking hours away because they all live in Qld-I don't know why DH agreed to the location.
4) I will have my period while we're away-a total pita for water activities

If your concern is weight then sometimes being at a place where people are swimming can be affirming, there's always lots of shapes and sizes.


Posted 28 December 2017 - 07:59 PM

It might be too late to make a significant change, but it's never too late to make baby steps.

Start eating better today, exercise, dress nicely, wear a bit of makeup (even just a clear lipgloss) do your hair and at least know that you are making small changes for a better lifestyle.

All the best!

#19 night jasmine

Posted 28 December 2017 - 08:03 PM

Esther Smith they are four very valid reasons for staying at home. Camping during periods, with in laws, after a 14 hour journey. I can’t even. I hope you manage to get some time to yourself and relax.

#20 Tokra

Posted 28 December 2017 - 08:10 PM

View PostEsther Smith, on 28 December 2017 - 07:53 PM, said:

4) I will have my period while we're away-a total pita for water activities

I'm not a fan of full on outback camping, but this would be an absolutely hell no for me. I already feel disgusting on those weeks and camping would have me miserable!

#21 BubbleBird

Posted 28 December 2017 - 08:14 PM

Two words - spray tan

#22 iwanttosleepin

Posted 28 December 2017 - 08:23 PM

Take the opportunity to adopt a daily morning walk. When I am working I find it harder to find an hour a day for me.  But recently went on a beach holiday ( no actual swimming as that is dangerous- stingers and crocodiles). But every morning I walked from 6-7 by myself.  Blissful!!! And then a swim in the pool before breakfast.

#23 ~river song~

Posted 28 December 2017 - 08:47 PM

Start today and make the changes you need to to lose weight. Once you get the ball rolling it'll put you in a better headspace

#24 Orangecake

Posted 28 December 2017 - 09:42 PM

We just came back from a popular holiday destination and there were all shapes, sizes and ages having a great time on the beach. Love the idea of a spray tan and some new swimmers/light dresses to lift your mood. Enjoy the holiday for what it is :)

#25 Prancer is coming

Posted 28 December 2017 - 10:00 PM

We go to the beach a lot but I don't get in that often as I find it too cold.  So I got a wetsuit for Christmas.  I have a few kilos I would li,e to lose, plus my stomach is a bit bigger from all the Christmas eating.  There is no where to hide in a tight wetsuit that is not flattering at all.  But everyday I am in the water with the kids and we are having a fantastic time.

I tend to spot others on the beach that are bigger than me and they all look fine in their swimmers.  There is no way to look bad when you are having fun!

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