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How much to spend wedding, christening and showers


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#1 Seapatrol

Posted 15 January 2018 - 08:28 AM

I am curious to know how much you gift or spend on weddings, christening, baby showers, bridal showers and bucks parties. When it comes to immediate family, extended family nd freinds

#2 onetrick

Posted 15 January 2018 - 08:57 AM

Depends on how close I am to the person? I hate over the top hens (payment wise- I haven’t spent over $100 on any, but even that is a huge amount IMO) so I’m likely to just decline if the payment is too much, but DH has gone to some bucks parties where the cost was in the hundreds (boys weekends and things like that...).
Wedding presents we usually gift somewhere between $50-100 each from DH and myself (so $100-200 as a couple, but we have been to some weddings by ourselves, too), but have spent more on people we are really close to.
Baby showers would probably be a bit more varied, depending on how I know the person and how close I will be to the baby (that reads weirdly, sorry!).
Both DH and I tend to have close friends, rather than lots of friends, so it’s not like we are off to social events every weekend or anything. If we were in a big group where everyone threw a bridal shower, hens, bucks and baby shower, we might have different ideas... but we don’t. Most of our friends are married, and those married more recently have skipped the OTT pre-wedding parties so we have spent more on the wedding present than if we had gone to multiple events previously.
I’m kind of interested to hear what others have to say, though :)

#3 YodaTheWrinkledOne

Posted 15 January 2018 - 09:16 AM

View PostSeapatrol, on 15 January 2018 - 08:28 AM, said:

I am curious to know how much you gift or spend on weddings, christening, baby showers, bridal showers and bucks parties. When it comes to immediate family, extended family nd freinds
Depends on how close we are to the person/couple.  I don't have a huge number of friends and those I do have tend not to do a lot of events listed above. I have a huge family but due to age differences and geographical distance, we are not always invited to all milestone celebrations (thank god, that would bankrupt me otherwise!)

Baby shower gift - anywhere from $15-$60
Christening/naming ceremonies - $20-$30
Bridal shower - $20-$50

Hens parties and bucks parties are VERY rare among my friends and family. Those parties that I have attended have often been a single night at a decent restaurant, pay-your-own-way type arrangements. So maybe $50-$80 for the night, including alcohol? I didn't have a hen's night. DH didn't have a bucks bight either although he did end up going out for drinks with a couple of mates a few nights before our wedding (it kinda evolved that way and they all got smashed because it was the first time they had all been together for about 3 years, hilarious!)

Wedding gift - anywhere from $50-$500

#4 Mooples

Posted 15 January 2018 - 10:09 AM

For us, most of these depend on how close we are to the person.

Baby shower could be anywhere between $30 and $250
Christening I’ve only been to 1 and we spent $25
Wedding usually $150 as a couple, more if we are really close to the couple. It was more when we were dinks
Hens nights I hate the ones that are $100 upfront because I don’t usually drink (pregnant/bf/pregnant again) but will pay whatever they are asking
Bucks nights to be honest I don’t want to know how much dh has spent. He doesn’t go out with his friends very often so will splurge on a bucks. It would probably be $300ish I reckon

#5 nom_de_plume

Posted 26 January 2018 - 06:23 PM

Weddings we usually give $200 in a card.

Christenings we've never been to. Not religious so probably wouldn't attend and if we did we wouldn't give a gift.

Baby showers I would spend maybe $30-$50 on a gift. Have also gone in with several other friends to buy bigger gifts like a car seat.

The most expensive hens weekend I went to ended up costing about $300 by the time I factored in petrol, accomodation and meals. If it's a night out on the town i'd probably spend $100-$150.

#6 Sweet.Pea

Posted 27 January 2018 - 05:25 AM

Weddings we usually give $100.

Christenings/baby showers we usually buy a present around $20 - $50.

I've never been to a Hens but probably wouldn't buy a present if I had to pay for myself and even then wouldn't go if it cost more than $50.

#7 Fi Fy Fo Fum

Posted 27 January 2018 - 06:38 AM

Weddings: up to $200
Christening: $20 to $30
Baby shower: up to $50 cause nappies and wipes are expensive
Bridal and bucks: 0! I don't believe in tbe gift grab.

#8 SeaPrincess

Posted 27 January 2018 - 08:22 AM

Weddings: $150 to $200

Christening: up to $30 if we’re not godparents, more if we are. I think christenings are for family and godparents, so we don’t normally go to others, and that’s all we invited to ours.

Baby shower: up to $30. I like to buy a gift once the baby is born. I could count on one hand the baby showers I’ve attended.

Bridal shower: not a thing in my circles. I went to one in 1995.....

Hens and bucks: no gift.

#9 seemingly

Posted 27 January 2018 - 08:33 AM

Wedding answers only:

One time my sister, dad and myself gave $200 each as a present to my cousin. She and her husband were double-income-no-kids and in their late 30s. Why did we give so much? I look back on it and shake my head. I also took photos of the event and they ended up using one of my photos as the thank you card, over the professionals.

At a recent cousin's wedding my mum gifted her hundreds in jewelry. My dad and sister gave $150 and I gave $100 + took candid photos that I plan to edit and give as part of my present. I noticed that besides the photographer, no one else too any photos at all. I was really surprised. I think the extra candid photos will be appreciated.

At another cousin's wedding, my sister and I filmed and photographed unofficially and made a video as our wedding present. They absolutely loved it.

At my partner's cousin's wedding (had only met them a couple of times), I didn't bring a monetary gift, but took photos. Again, my photos were used as Facebook profile photos and shared etc.

#10 Jelly Bee

Posted 19 April 2019 - 10:25 PM

View Postseemingly, on 27 January 2018 - 08:33 AM, said:


At a recent cousin's wedding my mum gifted her hundreds in jewelry. My dad and sister gave $150 and I gave $100 + took candid photos that I plan to edit and give as part of my present. I noticed that besides the photographer, no one else too any photos at all. I was really surprised. I think the extra candid photos will be appreciated.

At another cousin's wedding, my sister and I filmed and photographed unofficially and made a video as our wedding present. They absolutely loved it.

At my partner's cousin's wedding (had only met them a couple of times), I didn't bring a monetary gift, but took photos. Again, my photos were used as Facebook profile photos and shared etc.

I lost a close friend this way - she had a wedding that my partner and I travelled interstate for, and attending had cost several hundred dollars each we couldn’t really afford as we were going through IVF. She’d been fairly wound up prior to the wedding. My partner was a photographer so we gave a card and planned to have one of his images edited blown up and framed for them.
She got in touch with me two days later from her honeymoon to ask “which of the contributions was mine as she couldn’t work it out”
I told her of our intention but she never spoke to me again.

Edited by Jelly Bee, 19 April 2019 - 10:26 PM.


#11 Heather11

Posted 19 April 2019 - 10:43 PM

Are you talking about a gift at the bucks/hens night or how much you would pay to attend one?

I have never bought a gift for a hens/bucks night.  Possibly bought the guest of honour a drink.  I also haven't every been on one of those weekends away for the hens night.  I have only attended ones where you paid for your own meal and/or drinks.

For my own, it was a combined hens/bucks hosted by the bridesmaid at her house.  We supplied food and it was BYO drinks.

#12 MrsLexiK

Posted 19 April 2019 - 11:08 PM

It would depend on so much.

We got a lot of hard cash and gift vouchers for our wedding. One of my close friends gave us around $50. That was to them so much. We got married with little notice, a week before Christmas, she was on mat leave with a second child - I’m not sure if PPL was available then or not? - either by this stage they were down to one wage as she was waiting til the new year to start with the Christmas holidays and block out period coming up. Truthfully had she put a card in wishing us a long marriage that would have been enough, to be able to celebrate it with her is what I wanted. (Same when I invite people to my kids baptisms and birthdays)

#13 Popper

Posted 20 April 2019 - 07:00 AM

Engagement $100-$200 (higher end immediate family)
Wedding $200 min as I have always aimed to cover the meal cost per head
Baby Shower $50-$100
Hens -$0 always paid my own way and ever heard of giving gifts

#14 Heather11

Posted 20 April 2019 - 02:01 PM

Quote

Wedding $200 min as I have always aimed to cover the meal cost per head.

See I have never understood this.  If a couple decide to splurge on a lavish wedding where the reception meals cost over $100 per head then that is on them.

As a guest I don't feel the need to have to pay my way.  If a couple decided to have a BBQ in their backyard that cost $25 per head is that all you gift them??

#15 PrincessPeach

Posted 20 April 2019 - 02:37 PM

Wedding presents are around the $100, bit more for family.

Baby showers, christenings, engagement gifts, bridal showers - between $20 & $50, depending on how close we are to the person & what else is going on.

It gets very expensive when people have engagement parties, then a bridal shower, hens night, bucks night & wedding.

#16 Popper

Posted 20 April 2019 - 03:23 PM

View PostHeather11, on 20 April 2019 - 02:01 PM, said:



See I have never understood this.  If a couple decide to splurge on a lavish wedding where the reception meals cost over $100 per head then that is on them.

As a guest I don't feel the need to have to pay my way.  If a couple decided to have a BBQ in their backyard that cost $25 per head is that all you gift them??

Yep I would reduce the gift amount. I have never experienced a backyard BBQ wedding reception though so that is why I say min $200 for wedding. If I did attend a backyard BBQ wedding I would give $100 to cover food and alcohol costs for 2 adults. It is just how I figure out what to give. I imagine others just give a flat amount regardless of the style of event or what is included.

#17 FEdeRAL

Posted 20 April 2019 - 03:28 PM

View PostHeather11, on 20 April 2019 - 02:01 PM, said:



See I have never understood this.  If a couple decide to splurge on a lavish wedding where the reception meals cost over $100 per head then that is on them.

As a guest I don't feel the need to have to pay my way.  If a couple decided to have a BBQ in their backyard that cost $25 per head is that all you gift them??

It’s a personal preference isn’t it? And for some yes the general idea is to cover the per head costs. Yet some cultures literally equate monetary value with how close the relationship is. But above all, people give what they can afford to.

#18 seayork2002

Posted 20 April 2019 - 03:30 PM

I buy for the person/people so I have no budget as such, I don't work out cost of event versus present cost etc.

If I think a person/couple would like X I buy X

DH is the same

For a wedding would by an engagement and wedding gift if attending a related party

Maybe a small fun gift for a bridal shower but nothing for a hens/bucks




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