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#1 MrsG2

Posted 24 January 2018 - 08:15 AM

DS is due to start childcare in two weeks. I start work in March. I’m so worried the carers will not be able to handle him. Firstly, he’s super clingy and I think he’ll cry a lot the first few days if not weeks. Secondly he has gotten into a horrible habit that he will only nap if he lays on my chest (with me lying down). I can put him in the cot after he falls asleep but he’ll need to be resettled on my chest in half an hour. When he’s awake he’s happy to explore and play but I’m just so worried that he won’t do so if I’m not there or that he’ll cry so much that I’ll be Asked to take him home...

I know I’ve posted before about clingy babies and settling in, but just in need of some more assurance that they do eventually get used to it ...

#2 Hands Up

Posted 24 January 2018 - 08:18 AM

He really will. I was so worried about DS2’s napping but they fall in with h the program. They see other babies and toddlers in their cotsgoing to sleep and they are just so knackered. They behave quite differently at daycare than at home I find.

#3 redchick

Posted 24 January 2018 - 08:23 AM

I know it is stressful but remember carers are used to looking after bubs and have lots of experience with clingy bubs. PP is absolutely right too that bubs will behave differently when you are not there.

It may well take a little while for bub to settle (if your DS is only starting childcare a day or so a week it may take longer, if it is FT then they seem to get used to it faster) but the carers are there to help bub and you with that too.

All the best

RC

#4 laridae

Posted 24 January 2018 - 08:27 AM

He will be fine, honestly. Childcare educators are very experienced with this.
My first started at 5 months, would not take a bottle, would not sleep without being fed to sleep. She did spend a couple of days very tired but they got her to nap in a cot pretty quickly. Then she started having 3 hour naps!


#5 Thylacine

Posted 24 January 2018 - 08:27 AM

How old is your son? My very clingy boy started day care at about 18 months. It was a difficult start for him but he soon developed a connection with one of the educators and he was ok after that as long as she was there. He still cried at drop off for a long time but they assured me that he calmed down within 5 min and w as mostly ok for the rest of the day. He rarely slept at day care though, like your DS, mine also needed cuddles from me to sleep. He was very tired and overstimulated by the time we'd pick him up but there wasn't much we could do about it.

Since you have a month until you start work, I would start by just leaving him there for an hour or two at a time and then working your way up to a full day. Good luck!

#6 MrsG2

Posted 24 January 2018 - 08:33 AM

Thanks so much for these responses and please keep them coming ... it’s helping me feel better.. he is 9months now.. he’ll be starting 3days a week and hoping to build it up to four ...

#7 SeaPrincess

Posted 24 January 2018 - 08:39 AM

Daycare is a different environment with different stimuli, and they will surprise you. The carers know what to do.

My children did all kinds of things at daycare that they didn’t do at home. The one who happily napped at home for the longest barely slept at daycare, and another would have a nap at daycare long after it stopped at home (and then be up until 11pm!). One barely ate, while another ate things she refused to eat at home. DD started at around 6 months and NEVER drank her bottle at daycare. DS1 cried at drop off until he stopped going, but I could see into the playground from reception and by the time I got from the room to reception, he’d stopped!

#8 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 24 January 2018 - 08:39 AM

Dont worry about it.  The child care staff will have him settling in and sleeping in a cot in a few weeks.  He will get used to the new routine, and the fact that there will be no other options, will make sure he adjusts to the new routine.  Seeing other kids do the same things helps a lot too.

Sometimes a new location and new carers is just what a child needs to break bad habits.

He may still cry at every drop off, but he will most likely be fine once you actually leave, thats normal.

#9 sarahec

Posted 24 January 2018 - 09:48 AM

I think he will be fine. At home my 25 month old son will only sleep in cot, alone. On bed/ anyone else in room and he won't sleep.

At daycare he sleeps on a hammock thing in a small noisy room with 15 kids.

#10 MrsG2

Posted 24 January 2018 - 01:50 PM

View PostElle2k17, on 24 January 2018 - 11:55 AM, said:

I’m a child care worker with a clingy baby - the Mum side of me is terrified he wouldn’t cope in care - the child care educator knows that he will be 100% fine - as will your bub.

The caters are very compassionate and (in particular this time of year) are aware there is A LOT of settling in for kids to do. They ease them into it and completely understand it’s tough on bub and moreso the parent/s.

Always feel free to call and check in, our LO attends occasional care once a fortnight and I always call to check he’s settled half an hour after I’ve left (and it’s silly because I know he will be) simply because it helps ease my own anxieties.

Good luck xx

Thanks Elle! The thing I love about my childcare center is that they have an app which gives you real-time updates on your bub during the day.. it’s a good way to know how he is during the day.. I just really am hoping the tears will end after a while. My sisters daughter cried 4hours straight for the first 3days!!!

#11 liveworkplay

Posted 24 January 2018 - 03:10 PM

My eldest would only sleep in her bed, in darkness, with music playing. Even then, she would only sleep for one sleep cycle. At daycare she would sleep for up to 2 hours at a time...in the middle of the main room...in full daylight with kids running around her. My middle child dropped her daytime napping before she reached 2. However she would always nap at daycare, to the point I had to get them to keep her up at nap time or else she wouldn't go to bed until midnight! My youngest was fully breastfed, would not drink formula or cows milk and was generally fed to sleep. At day care she drank cows milk from a cup, fell asleep unaided (like DD1, she would sleep in the middle of the chaos with the kids playing around her) and didn't whine for a breastfeed at all (but continued BF at home until she was nearly 3.5 years old!)

Kids adapt to their surroundings and it is amazing what they will do for other people that they won't for you.

Take each day as it comes, expect increased clingyness and some bumpy roads but it will all work out in the end.

#12 Apageintime

Posted 25 January 2018 - 11:49 AM

My son has only ever slept in my arms, after being breastfed to sleep (he is 3 years old FYI)

He has been in daycare since 6 months and sleeps there on the little stretcher beds without a single issue. And even though he's been doing it at daycare for YEARS still will not fall asleep anywhere but my arms.

Don't even worry about it, bub will be fine!

#13 lozoodle

Posted 25 January 2018 - 11:56 AM

He'll be fine - and they'll be able to deal with him, childcare workers are fabulous and very experienced - its their job.

I think in a way its easier looking after babies and kids when you take out the emotional attachment as well. Eg if he doesn't sleep much - oh well, it happens. Kids cry a bit too, it happens. It'll be ok :)

#14 No Drama Please

Posted 25 January 2018 - 12:00 PM

When DD started daycare they just laughed at me when I said they would never get her to nap without doing XYZ as they said everyone says the same thing! They are so experienced with babies it’s just no problem, don’t worry.

#15 Ruby2Shoes

Posted 25 January 2018 - 12:29 PM

We have just started my 10 month old girl 3 days a week. Today is her 4th day, and it was the first day we had some tears with me leaving.

I read an earlier post of yours, OP, about working from home and a clingy baby - we sound very similar.

My bub is coping pretty well though. I had the same worries about sleep etc, but the staff are amazing and she naps fine when there. This morning was hard because it was quiet when we walked in, so no distractions and she worked out what was happening really fast. But one of the staff gave her a cuddle when I left and I'm sure she's fine now. Hopefully she isn't too much of a handful for them!

So it's all new to me too but hopefully it helps reassure you a little bit. Luckily tomorrow's a public holiday (even though we pay for it) so we get an extra day at home :)

#16 MrsG2

Posted 27 January 2018 - 01:54 PM

View PostRuby2Shoes, on 25 January 2018 - 12:29 PM, said:

We have just started my 10 month old girl 3 days a week. Today is her 4th day, and it was the first day we had some tears with me leaving.

I read an earlier post of yours, OP, about working from home and a clingy baby - we sound very similar.

My bub is coping pretty well though. I had the same worries about sleep etc, but the staff are amazing and she naps fine when there. This morning was hard because it was quiet when we walked in, so no distractions and she worked out what was happening really fast. But one of the staff gave her a cuddle when I left and I'm sure she's fine now. Hopefully she isn't too much of a handful for them!

So it's all new to me too but hopefully it helps reassure you a little bit. Luckily tomorrow's a public holiday (even though we pay for it) so we get an extra day at home :)

Thanks !! We start in two weeks .. I know it’ll be tough but hoping he settles in within a week or two

#17 MrsG2

Posted 18 February 2018 - 07:24 PM

First day without me tmr. 4 hours . So so scared I’m gonna get s call after an hour saying he won’t settle and to take him home

#18 Soontobegran

Posted 18 February 2018 - 07:32 PM

A couple of my grand children did everything at CC they didn't do at home including no crying and sleeping after just being put in a cot awake.
Some ate food that they would have gagged on if it was given by their parents.
Kids are weird and if you feel good about the CC centre then they will take good care.

Good luck.

#19 IkeaAddict

Posted 18 February 2018 - 07:54 PM

They are SOOO different at childcare than with their parents. Eating, behaviour, sleep, you name it. DS always had to be with me before starting daycare, I was worried they would drive the carers mad. He didn't, when there he was very independent, played with other kids, didn't bother the carers. Food....Mr fussy at home and still is.....would eat all sorts of vegie and legume creations. Lentil curry, lentil bolognese, vege pasta bake. For me, nuggets and popcorn were his staples for AGES. Sleep....would no nap for me at home for more than half hour unless in pram walking around shop....at daycare he would quite happily have 2 day sleeps and easily fall asleep at his regular time at night.

View PostMrsG2, on 18 February 2018 - 07:24 PM, said:

First day without me tmr. 4 hours . So so scared I’m gonna get s call after an hour saying he won’t settle and to take him home
I'd be worried about  daycare who would send a child home because they wouldn't settle, especially a child who has just started at the centre!! If he doesn't settle then it is their job to help that process happen or deal with it if it doesn't. He will probably be so distracted by the other kids, other toys, different room that it won't be a drama.

Fingers crossed for his first day OP!!!

#20 IkeaAddict

Posted 18 February 2018 - 07:58 PM

View PostRuby2Shoes, on 25 January 2018 - 12:29 PM, said:

We have just started my 10 month old girl 3 days a week. Today is her 4th day, and it was the first day we had some tears with me leaving.



When DS was about 18 months he would put on the tears and the tantrums when dropped off at daycare. The carers would need to pry him off me screaming and carrying on. As soon as I was out of sight it would stop. I could actually stand at the side of the room and look through the window and he was so happy. Till he saw me then he'd start with the tears/guilt trip. Same thing when he was older.....I had to pick him up early one day because he smashed his nose against a chair and when I walked in, before he saw me, they were having a hard time keeping him still....he was laughing, wanting to play, having fun. As soon as he saw me the tears started and he refused to even walk to the car.

#21 born.a.girl

Posted 18 February 2018 - 08:05 PM

View PostMrsG2, on 18 February 2018 - 07:24 PM, said:

First day without me tmr. 4 hours . So so scared I’m gonna get s call after an hour saying he won’t settle and to take him home


Bet you won't.  :)


It probably won't be long before you have to distract him if you drive past the place, or he'll burst into tears because you're not driving in.

I only used 3 x hours of occasional care a week between 1 - 2 yrs but drove past with her all of the time.  Got quite draining remembering to distract her.


Good luck.

#22 MrsG2

Posted 19 February 2018 - 11:33 AM

Update, I left him at 8:15. Waited by my phone all morning expecting the “please take DS home” phone call. Surprisingly I didn’t get it. The lead carer messaged me saying he is ok, has his upset moments but it’s not constant. He had his bottle and a short nap. Can’t ask for too much more. Hopefully he gets used to it soon

#23 Littlecloud

Posted 19 February 2018 - 01:12 PM

My daughter doesn't sleep anywhere except her room successfully.

You could have knocked me over with a feather when daycare said she slept for just over an hour, in the main room, with everyone else!!

My daughter cries in the morning, but when I peek through the fence, she literally stops the minute I would through the main gate! (Little turd probably does it to make me feel guilty!!)

Daycare is magical. Kids who don't sleep, sleep. Kids who don't eat, eat.

There is a kid in my daughters room who pretty much never eats, he's on the supplement milkshake tings for toddlers. 1st day he was there he had morning tea, afternoon tea and lunch. His mum broke down sobbing on the floor when she picked him up.

#24 MrsG2

Posted 19 February 2018 - 01:27 PM

View Postborn.a.girl, on 18 February 2018 - 08:05 PM, said:




Bet you won't.  :)


It probably won't be long before you have to distract him if you drive past the place, or he'll burst into tears because you're not driving in.

I only used 3 x hours of occasional care a week between 1 - 2 yrs but drove past with her all of the time.  Got quite draining remembering to distract her.


Good luck.
I didn’t :)
Not this time at least , thankfully.
Worried he may be more upset next time though since he’ll know he’s going to be left there

#25 SplashingRainbows

Posted 19 February 2018 - 01:39 PM

You’re describing my eldest! He’s 7 now, at primary school and doing incredibly well.

He slept at daycare when he didn’t at home.

He was happy there and it was great for him to learn to be cared for by people other than mum or dad. I never got the come and pick him up call. There was lots of interesting things to do, and carers who did genuinely care for him.




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