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Leaving the house with 2 year olds

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#1 Lallalla

Posted 06 May 2018 - 02:48 PM

Not really looking for advice just want to vent about the trials of the terrible 2s times 2.

Recently my girls (who are almost 2 and very much in the terrible 2s already) have been acting up so badly that I am starting to wonder if I should avoid leaving the house with them on my own. But given their father often travels for work this doesn’t seem feasible. Also I get cabin fever even when I don’t feel trapped at home.

It starts with the fight to get them in their car seats and then goes from there. I also cannot contain them in their pram anymore. They are contortionists who can escape no matter what I do. And that goes for both our fancy pants pram we’ve had since they were born and the cheapo double umbrella stroller. So they scream and run around/away and break things and then plank and scream when I try to get them back in the pram... and they don’t care about any consequences.

With increasing regularity I have complete strangers trying to help me. It is very embarrassing that I look so overwhelmed by my extremely badly behaved children that I have people intervening.

Thank god my oldest, who isn’t 4 yet, has decided to be very very good (for the most part) lately.

#2 SplashingRainbows

Posted 06 May 2018 - 03:20 PM

I’m not a twin mum but I am a mum and both my kids did that to me at that age. It was the most overwhelming feeling being bested by one toddler.

I strongly suspect anyone helping had been there done that and genuinely wants to help not judge.

Please be kind to yourself. Three under four is hard enough without you beating up in yourself.

#3 Mooples

Posted 06 May 2018 - 03:36 PM

I’m not a twin mum either, I have a 2.5 year old and a 3 month old. My main strategy for controlling the toddler is food. Are your girls bribable with snacks? I bring so much food with me wherever we go now. I too get stressed if I don’t get out and about but can only imagine how difficult it is with 3 little ones.

#4 SMforshort

Posted 06 May 2018 - 03:45 PM

I'm not a twin mum either but had three under four and my husband worked away during the week during that time.

I had to admit defeat on the sorts of outings I would have liked to do.  I got groceries delivered and became a playgroup junkie.

I went to four different playgroups because they were the only places it was doable for me in terms of safety.  I didn't love them all, but it gave the toddlers an outing and me a small amount of adult contact.  

I remember distinctly, the six seconds of silence after I strapped the last one into the car, shut the door and then walked around to my side of the car to get in.  They were blissful.

All the best to you.  It will get better.

#5 Luci

Posted 06 May 2018 - 04:21 PM

I am very sympathetic OP!!

I have 3 children, fortunately 2 them were OK with outings but DD was so bad for a while, going anywhere was a nightmare.  My DH worked long hours and travelled a lot so I felt isolated.  I would really look forward to going out ie Mother's Group or a friend's house, but DD was often so difficult it was impossible for me to talk to the other adults and the outings would be stressful and embarrassing.

Like a PP I also used to bribe her with food a bit, and fortunately it didn't last forever, she did get better over time.

Hang in there OP you are doing a great job.

#6 AdelTwins

Posted 06 May 2018 - 04:22 PM

We had two of these:

The boys would put a few things in there and were happy to wear it like a big kid. When they started to run off or not listen I would clip on the harness.

#7 TinCat🐱

Posted 06 May 2018 - 05:48 PM

I am a twin Mum.

Buy wine on the way home.

Keep trying, it does get better and unfortunately they only learn by trying again and again.

#8 Staying Strange

Posted 06 May 2018 - 07:18 PM

I have 2 yr old twins and a 4.5yr old. I'm in awe that you try to go out with them. I avoid it.

The twins have been out if the pram for some time now and it's just not worth the hassle. We go out for DDs  dancing twice a week and I play with them outside - generally at least one other dancing mum offers to help which is nice . The local RSL has a great playground that's enclosed so about monthly we go there (between lunch and dinner service so there's no one around) and I work 3 days a week so they go to day care  on those days. Otherwise it's with DH or with help of some sort (meet a friend, go with my mum etc). Luckily I'm a home body and my friends are happy to catch up at my place otherwise I'd be incredibly isolated and lonely.

#9 Mollyksy

Posted 06 May 2018 - 07:37 PM

Not a twin mum, but you are my idol! Twin 2 yos and an older not quite 4yo. And you go out. Of the house?! Took me 5 months to leave the house with my only. No advice other than the usual this too shall pass.

Do you have friends that can come to you? For those days when its too much.

You are doing a fab job.

Edited as I can't spell.

Edited by Mollyksy, 06 May 2018 - 07:39 PM.

#10 spartan_mum

Posted 06 May 2018 - 07:45 PM

Can you put them in one of the double trolley? I find my twins (22 months) aren’t too bad in that and are much better than if I kept them in the pram.

I also let them run around in the playground that our shops have. I find that uses up a bit of energy then I can get stuff done Without them losing it.

Having said that I hate going to the shops by myself and avoid it when I can.  inevitably one of my three children will  be crying and carrying on no matter how quickly I  try and get stuff done. I feel your pain and sympathise

#11 TinMan

Posted 06 May 2018 - 08:09 PM

Hats off to you for even leaving the house.

I promise if I've ever stopped to help another mum it's only with loving kindness in my heart- no judgement. I was the mum needing help not that long ago.

You're in the trenches at the moment. Sanity is a day by day proposition. Sounds like you're doing brilliantly if you're still prepared to go out knowing the likely outcomes.

#12 Crazy4

Posted 06 May 2018 - 08:12 PM

I’m a twin mum and I found that age way harder than the baby period. Two young kids on the move is hard work. I made all our trips out short and sweet as I couldn’t handle them in public for extended periods and praised them like an over the top crazy person when they actually listened and stayed in pram or stayed holding my hand.

It does get better though, I promise.  I can walk around the shops and they’ll hold each other’s hands so I have a hand free to sip my take away coffee but I could never imagine that being possible 2 years ago.

#13 Elsom

Posted 06 May 2018 - 09:56 PM

Vent away OP!  Totally valid vent!

I can remember those days vividly with my 2yo twins and a 4yo too (albeit a few years ago now).  Getting out of the house was such a massive effort, so good on you for persevering.  I feel your pain too!

I agree with Crazy4, by making our outings as short and sweet as possible.  I always told the little ones what the plan was and why and how we were going to do it and what I expected of them.  I found that if I said something like "when we get home, we will play with....", or "once we have finished here, we'll go to the park, this shop, to the service station.. etc" then they knew what to expect and how much longer it was going to be.  Definitely praise for good behaviour (positive reinforcement), even if it only lasts for a glimpse.

Hang in there OP

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