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Wedding etiquette (fluffy)


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#26 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 18 August 2018 - 07:52 PM

You guys are brilliant! The whole wedding is going to be difficult, involve lots of travel and will be expensive for our family (we can afford it fine, but you know). And of course the whole ‘no children’ thing, but all the family we would use as babysitters will be at the wedding, and we have a 10mo boob addict.

#27 PrincessPeach

Posted 18 August 2018 - 09:22 PM

I need a link to said dress!

If you love it & it looks great on you then I'd wear it. But if you are a bit worried, is there any way you could add a pop of colour like a scarf, bolero, belt etc?

#28 Ellie bean

Posted 18 August 2018 - 09:34 PM

How about a white fascinator with a white veil ;)

Edited by Ellie bean, 18 August 2018 - 09:35 PM.


#29 sahmie

Posted 18 August 2018 - 09:37 PM

Team petty - do the white. But only if it’s a pearl/Swarovski encrusted tulle layered ball gown.

#30 StartledFlamingo

Posted 18 August 2018 - 10:33 PM

Wear the white dress. With huge pictures of your kids printed on it. Then they can be in the photos too, right?

#31 *Marty*

Posted 18 August 2018 - 11:41 PM

Lets be honest, a white fascinator with a white dress would probably have the bride doing a Linda Blair.  I think you need to be a bit more subtle.  You probably should offset the white dress with a small pop of colour.

I have found the perfect hat....






Posted Image

#32 Lou-bags

Posted 19 August 2018 - 01:31 AM

View PostStartledFlamingo, on 18 August 2018 - 10:33 PM, said:

Wear the white dress. With huge pictures of your kids printed on it. Then they can be in the photos too, right?

This is too funny. Perfection.

#33 c.sanders

Posted 19 August 2018 - 07:09 AM

My SIL1 did this with me. Think Indian type wedding. She was more over dressed than me. Think tiara, all her wedding gold etc etc.  It was the least of my problems and I was feeling really self conscious being 7months pregnant. but it wasnt nice of her to do.

she later told me she realised she shouldn't have done that and all her friends to this day make fun of her for doing that kind of stunt.

For my SIL2's wedding I actually checked with/showed her what I planned to wear so we wouldn't clash (she bought her dress after mine because I was pregnant then too and chose to do my shopping before I was too far along). I think I look fantastic even being 8months pregnant there and look very fondly on the photos.


Anyway, I wouldn't do it op. I'm sure there are lots of lovely dresses out there. You will look lovely and everyone can look back on the pics in a positive way.



#34 MissMilla

Posted 19 August 2018 - 07:14 AM

Nooe, i wouldnt. But then again i wouldnt have been ok with someone wearing white to my wedding :)
I dont understand how anyone can even ask the bride that.

#35 Jenflea

Posted 19 August 2018 - 07:30 AM

I didn't wear white to my wedding, I wore cream, so i wouldn't care if someone had worn white to be honest.


I've also pretty much never looked at the photos again in the last 20 years since we were married.

#36 Hands Up

Posted 19 August 2018 - 07:36 AM

No, only because I’d be embarrassed of what the people who don’t know the history would think of me.

#37 PabloS

Posted 19 August 2018 - 08:30 AM

Do people even wear white dresses, apart from wedding dresses of course. I just can’t imagine how worried I’d be of stainage, visual underwear etc.

#38 BadCat

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:10 AM

View PostMissMilla, on 19 August 2018 - 07:14 AM, said:

Nooe, i wouldnt. But then again i wouldnt have been ok with someone wearing white to my wedding Posted Image
I dont understand how anyone can even ask the bride that.

There are these things called words.

You string them together to form what we know as sentences.  Some sentences are interrogatory.  We call those questions.

You can form questions and direct them at a particular person or at a group of people.

In this particular case you would form words into an interrogatory sentence and direct it to the bride.

View PostJenflea, on 19 August 2018 - 07:30 AM, said:

I didn't wear white to my wedding, I wore cream, so i wouldn't care if someone had worn white to be honest.


I've also pretty much never looked at the photos again in the last 20 years since we were married.

Yeah, my dress was gold with green and gold embroidery.  Because white is boring anyway.

#39 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:10 AM

View PostYumChaTheSecond, on 18 August 2018 - 05:13 PM, said:

Yes but what fascinator will you wear?

This one

https://www.google.c...2d-214c83c57e09


#40 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:11 AM

View Postc.sanders, on 19 August 2018 - 07:09 AM, said:

My SIL1 did this with me. Think Indian type wedding. She was more over dressed than me. Think tiara, all her wedding gold etc etc.  It was the least of my problems and I was feeling really self conscious being 7months pregnant. but it wasnt nice of her to do.

she later told me she realised she shouldn't have done that and all her friends to this day make fun of her for doing that kind of stunt.

For my SIL2's wedding I actually checked with/showed her what I planned to wear so we wouldn't clash (she bought her dress after mine because I was pregnant then too and chose to do my shopping before I was too far along). I think I look fantastic even being 8months pregnant there and look very fondly on the photos.


Anyway, I wouldn't do it op. I'm sure there are lots of lovely dresses out there. You will look lovely and everyone can look back on the pics in a positive way.

With a 10mo, I’ve been feeling a bit frumpy lately and have a desire to look fabulous (but don’t worry, I won’t try to out-do the bride really. I like the family way too much to do anything like that). I spotted a nice gold dress (after starting this thread), read the description and apparently it’s “perfect Mother of the bride dress”. I’m keeping on looking.

The invitation says formal, but the location is a beach holiday location, which to me suggests they are asking people to not wear jeans, rather than actually wearing formal wear (that would feel so out of place). So I’ll take suggestions if anyone likes this sort of thing, from the outrageous to the fabulous. I’m a short size 8 (depending on the brand) with a need to wear a proper bra for my milk-making boobs, and a tummy that’s still recovering from carrying a huge baby.

#41 Lucrezia Borgia

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:14 AM

yeh i wear white dresses - particularly in summer. you just wear white/light undies- and keep clear of the red wine. a wife of one of DH’s work colleagues only wears white - Ive never seen her in anything else. and yes - she wore white to my wedding! i didnt care - what even is the issue really? do people think theyre going to get confused as to which one is the bride? its usually pretty obvious ....

#42 BadCat

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:18 AM

I always assume the bride is the one bossing the people in matching frumpy dresses around.

#43 ~J_F~

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:21 AM

View PostShelbyP, on 19 August 2018 - 08:30 AM, said:

Do people even wear white dresses, apart from wedding dresses of course. I just can’t imagine how worried I’d be of stainage, visual underwear etc.

Ummm lots of people...

Dresses, skirts, pants.

Most adults can manage not to stain their clothing and there are undies available in colour and cut so they aren’t visible!!

These threads always deliver!

#44 FEdeRAL

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:31 AM

Based on your OP, I gather that she’s the type who “but the rule does not apply to me”. So this is what I will do,

Text her a picture (or three) of the white dress(es), tell her you love it, it’s only knee length so definitely ok but you want to check with her.

Give it 1-2 weeks for her to go ballistic.

Text her again and said nvm found another great dress in ivory. Only, it’s knee full length.

Etc.

Edited by FEdeRAL, 19 August 2018 - 09:36 AM.


#45 FEdeRAL

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:33 AM

:evilgrin:

#46 Froyo

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:45 AM

I wore a coloured wedding dress and wouldn't have cared in the slightest if someone had worn white to my wedding. Even if I'd worn a traditional wedding dress I wouldn't have cared. There's a vast difference between a white dress and a wedding dress.

That said, I wouldn't OP. It seems SIL wore white to your wedding to be deliberately provocative. If SIL was that ridiculous at your wedding that's her issue, and stooping to her level just makes you equally as ridiculous.

#47 Renovators delight

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:47 AM

View Post~J_F~, on 19 August 2018 - 09:21 AM, said:

Most adults can manage not to stain their clothing and there are undies available in colour and cut so they aren’t visible!!

More proof I am not really an adult.

I think I've worn white once since being an adult. It was a white top I bought to get married in.

I was carrying a bouquet with hibiscus. I got yellow pollen all over the white top before the 3 minute ceremony was even complete.

#48 ~J_F~

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:52 AM

View Postsuburban dystopia, on 19 August 2018 - 09:47 AM, said:



More proof I am not really an adult.

I think I've worn white once since being an adult. It was a white top I bought to get married in.

I was carrying a bouquet with hibiscus. I got yellow pollen all over the white top before the 3 minute ceremony was even complete.

I said most for a reason... I do not do white clothing because well I am a slob :lol:

But I know many, many people who do and it works for them!

#49 22Fruitmincepies

Posted 19 August 2018 - 09:55 AM

View PostFroyo, on 19 August 2018 - 09:45 AM, said:

I wore a coloured wedding dress and wouldn't have cared in the slightest if someone had worn white to my wedding. Even if I'd worn a traditional wedding dress I wouldn't have cared. There's a vast difference between a white dress and a wedding dress.

That said, I wouldn't OP. It seems SIL wore white to your wedding to be deliberately provocative. If SIL was that ridiculous at your wedding that's her issue, and stooping to her level just makes you equally as ridiculous.

That was pretty much why I gave her the ok to wear the white dress to my wedding - it seemed that she wanted me to say no, so I said yeah whatever I don’t care. Several people actually asked me if I was ok about it and seemed shocked that she would do it.

So no, I will not wear white. I will look fabulous though.

#50 BadCat

Posted 19 August 2018 - 10:01 AM

One up her and wear a giant foofy white wedding dress.




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