Kabu84, on 20 August 2018 - 11:18 PM, said:
DD1 was a sensitive, Mummy and boob-obsessed baby and even when she went to daycare 2 days a week at 12 months we both struggled with the long days and separation. DD2 is a different baby and although I have taken 18 months maternity leave this time I feel she would actually tolerate daycare pretty well even now (she is 8 months) and I wouldn’t mind a break from her busy-ness!
DS is very boob obsessed, so I'm not sure how that would translate to childcare! he's 16mths so far, all tactics of 'gentle' weaning are failing.
OP, for #1, she went to childcare at 2, I hated every moment of it. DD actually didn't mind it, but i did regret it, though it was crucial to my sanity as I had hit a bad time with PND and everything including my marriage was falling apart. I had no choice. I felt DD would have done better to wait until she was 3 or so. But if I hadn't done it earlier, I don't think I'd be here today. So there's gains and losses to putting them in childcare.
Upside of DD going into CC at 2, was that she got lots of social interaction. and that aspect she enjoyed hugely, barring the centre, which she didn't like. we must have gone through about 4 different centres before she settled in one she liked.
as for #2, I'd like to cart him off to child care now. I am ready for him to go, DS on the other hand... he's not. He's very much He and I are one and we don't ever part. We've been working on him spending more time without me around by hanging out with DH, but he will just go looking for me. and start getting worked up if he can't find me.
I am grateful and lucky I can afford to stay home. BUT I do wish that I HAD to go back to work, least then I can have no choice but to put DS in childcare and he'll have to adapt. But because I have that option, I just feel like I can't put him childcare.
All up, the first few days of childcare is always the hardest. I think thats where most of the anxiety is. you worry, will they be ok? will they get stressed? will the carers respond to their needs? will they enjoy this? will they still love me when I come pick them up, though I left them crying this morning?'
Once you get past that hurdle, it really does get easier. Soon you'll be happy to drop them off without the guilt, and you'll also relish in picking them up having spent the day away from them.
I admire the position of both sides, those who stay at home with their kids, and those who put their children in childcare. They both come with their pros and cons doing either.
Being a parent is hard. staying home with your child from the moment they wake up to the moment they go to sleep is hard. being away from your child all day is hard. we all have to make some sort of sacrifice, and trust that all the decisions we make, are for the best of ourselves, the kids, and family as a whole.