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Devastated *Updated*


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#1 gissellle

Posted 12 December 2018 - 12:20 PM

Sitting on my couch, feeling heartbroken and alone.

On the 25th October I got (very big surprise) BFP. According to my dates I would be due 3 July 2019.

On the 15 November I had a dating scan at 7w2d - baby measured 6w3d with HB of 136.

All seemed to be going well.

Then this Monday morning at 9w6d I started spotting brown. Started to panic a little but thought everything would be ok. Went to see my GP who gave me the options of going for an urgent scan and blood test OR heading to the local hospital where they would do a scan and bloods and let me know straight away. I chose the latter, so headed up at 6,30pm that day. They were pretty useless, did bloods after waiting 3.5 hours, but only got 1 lot of results back which were clear for infection etc. They tried to do an ultrasound but the dr couldn’t get a clear pic so they booked me in for u/s the following day. I left at 11pm with no answers.

Tuesday I went to work as normal. Spotting was like the start/end of a period with red blood on wiping.
Scan at 2pm showed no heartbeat and only measuring 5w6d. I virtually ran out of there sobbing (the lady tech wasn’t overly empathetic). Cried most of the afternoon.

Wednesday I headed back to hospital ED to follow up - they sent me away to wait for obgyn to ring me and book in to see them tomorrow. They called within 30min and I’m booked in for 8.30am tomorrow. She said come fasted as they may be able to fit me in for a d&c.

I’m so upset and can’t believe this has happened. So it’s possible my baby has been dead in there for 4 weeks!
I’ve gone from thinking I’m almost 10 weeks pregnant and getting really excited to sitting here praying I don’t miscarry at home by myself.

I’m also terrified of infection as I nearly died from septic shock after my second birth 9 years ago.
My hospital appointments arrived in the mail yesterday too... brutal stab in the already broken heart ������

Edited by gissellle, 20 December 2018 - 06:47 PM.


#2 Dianalynch

Posted 12 December 2018 - 12:27 PM

I'm very very sorry for your loss

#3 literally nobody

Posted 12 December 2018 - 01:07 PM

oh hun im so very sorry for your loss. :( please be kind to yourself.

#4 Mishu

Posted 12 December 2018 - 02:00 PM

I’m so sorry for your loss

#5 VVV

Posted 12 December 2018 - 02:01 PM

Sorry to hear of your loss. Do you have good support around you?

#6 Percival

Posted 12 December 2018 - 02:03 PM

I’m so sorry for your loss.

#7 gissellle

Posted 12 December 2018 - 02:12 PM

The only people that know are the 2 of us and 2 ladies at work who I told yesterday and Monday as I was upset and anxious.

We were waiting till 12 weeks to share with friends and family so I only have DH.

#8 cvbn

Posted 12 December 2018 - 02:40 PM

I am so sorry, it is a horrible thing to happen to you.

#9 maryanneK

Posted 12 December 2018 - 02:53 PM

I'm so, so sorry OP

I had almost exactly the same thing happen to me - right down to the timing. I also hated knowing that I'd gone from the scan at 6 weeks until almost 10 weeks thinking everything was fine when in fact it wasnt (same thing, only measuring 6 weeks size at 10 w by dates)

I hadn't told friends and family before then but told them at that stage. I wanted the support for the D&C and didn't want to pretend nothing had happened.

If you feel comfortable telling people (just a few close people, I mean) then I recommend doing that. I didnt tell work etc. Just called in sick on the day of the D&C.

I'm really really sorry for you - its heartbreaking. xx

#10 gissellle

Posted 12 December 2018 - 02:59 PM

View PostmaryanneK, on 12 December 2018 - 02:53 PM, said:

I'm so, so sorry OP

I had almost exactly the same thing happen to me - right down to the timing. I also hated knowing that I'd gone from the scan at 6 weeks until almost 10 weeks thinking everything was fine when in fact it wasnt (same thing, only measuring 6 weeks size at 10 w by dates)

I hadn't told friends and family before then but told them at that stage. I wanted the support for the D&C and didn't want to pretend nothing had happened.

If you feel comfortable telling people (just a few close people, I mean) then I recommend doing that. I didnt tell work etc. Just called in sick on the day of the D&C.

I'm really really sorry for you - its heartbreaking. xx

Thank you for your reply and I’m really sorry for your loss too
I think I will tell some people, I just feel so alone in this and while DH is loving and kind, I know he’ll get over this a lot quicker than I will...

#11 Mooples

Posted 12 December 2018 - 03:01 PM

View Postgissellle, on 12 December 2018 - 02:59 PM, said:



Thank you for your reply and I’m really sorry for your loss too ������
I think I will tell some people, I just feel so alone in this and while DH is loving and kind, I know he’ll get over this a lot quicker than I will...

I’m so sorry for your loss. I think it’s different for men because they don’t feel the physical pain of the loss like we do. A while after my mmc/d&c I was saying to dh I didn’t feel he was as sad as me, he revealed he was truly devastated but knew he needed to be strong for me. I didn’t see it at the time but on reflection it was true, he needed to pick me up and keep me going. Take care and be kind to yourself.

Edited by Mooples, 12 December 2018 - 03:03 PM.


#12 gissellle

Posted 13 December 2018 - 05:16 PM

Went to the early pregnancy assessment unit this morning. Started bleeding during my appointment.
Got home at 11.30 after filling out all necessary paperwork and bloods at the hospital for a d&c tomorrow at 11.
Feeling crampy and uncomfortable, still bleeding bright red blood with a few clots. Terrified it’s going to get worse after reading other ladies stories of excruciating pain.
I’ve got a headache and temp is sitting around 36.8 which is a little high for me.

Still can’t believe this is happening to me... :’(


Edited by gissellle, 13 December 2018 - 05:20 PM.


#13 Beanette

Posted 13 December 2018 - 05:50 PM

View Postgissellle, on 13 December 2018 - 05:16 PM, said:

Went to the early pregnancy assessment unit this morning. Started bleeding during my appointment.
Got home at 11.30 after filling out all necessary paperwork and bloods at the hospital for a d&c tomorrow at 11.
Feeling crampy and uncomfortable, still bleeding bright red blood with a few clots. Terrified it’s going to get worse after reading other ladies stories of excruciating pain.
I’ve got a headache and temp is sitting around 36.8 which is a little high for me.

Still can’t believe this is happening to me... :’(

I'm so, so sorry for your loss. It's especially cruel to think that things are going well after having an earlier scan, only to later find out that things weren't progressing.  

For what it's worth, I found the D&C to be very healing, in a way, because it allowed me to feel like things were truly "over". The bleeding also decreased afterwards.

Take time to grieve, lean on your DH and be there for each other. Thinking of you xxx

#14 Deb999

Posted 13 December 2018 - 06:28 PM

I'm sorry for your loss. Your experience read almost exactly like one of mine many years ago and it's really shook me. I hope you've got lots of people around you. <3

#15 gissellle

Posted 14 December 2018 - 06:11 AM

So the bleeding all but stopped yesterday evening, just a little bit of brown/red overnight. No more cramping either.

Surely that wasn't all of it though? I passed a clot about 3x1cm but it just looked like jelly and one 1/3 size, again like jelly. Sorry TMI...

Could this just go on and on? Is it possible for it to stop/start?

I know there's zero hope but I can't help but feel confused by the bleeding stopping.

:cry:

#16 taters

Posted 14 December 2018 - 09:53 AM

My miscarriage happened naturally and I didnt need a d&c but it went on for about 3 days of very heavy bleeding then about 10 days more of period type bleeding. There were lots of little clots then I had severe pain and passed a very large clot and after that the bleding was less. My OB did ultrasounds to make sure it was all gone and follow up blood tests for hcg to check nothing was left.

#17 MrsT2018

Posted 14 December 2018 - 10:34 AM

I'm so so so sorry this is happening to you Gisselle.

It is lonely but if theres one thing I learnt, we're not alone. Unfortunately its just all too common. Almost every person who I've told has empathised with me and told me they understood all too well.

I do suggest you tell close family/friends. You need all the love and support you can get.

Big hugs. xo

#18 MontyMumma

Posted 14 December 2018 - 10:38 AM

I really don't want to get your hopes up, but it sounds like your results are not completely conclusive.
I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and had it confirmed with a NOT PREGNANT test result, I had heavy bleeding for four-five days which reduced to nothing just like a normal period.
No D&C required.

In my second pregnancy I had serious bleeding at 9 weeks and went straight to hospital, blood tests revealed a HCG level of 150000, which was quite high and definitely not an indicator of miscarriage, have you been told what your HCG levels are? Unless they're zero it's not conclusive.


Your scan showing no heart beat isn't unusual for a 5 week pregnancy. Heart beats usually only show up at about 7 weeks sometimes later.

I'm not sure if my comments are helpful, I hope they are. But it seems like things are inconclusive. I would not go for a D&C without conclusive confirmation.

#19 taters

Posted 14 December 2018 - 10:47 AM

View PostMontyMumma, on 14 December 2018 - 10:38 AM, said:

I really don't want to get your hopes up, but it sounds like your results are not completely conclusive.
I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and had it confirmed with a NOT PREGNANT test result, I had heavy bleeding for four-five days which reduced to nothing just like a normal period.
No D&C required.

In my second pregnancy I had serious bleeding at 9 weeks and went straight to hospital, blood tests revealed a HCG level of 150000, which was quite high and definitely not an indicator of miscarriage, have you been told what your HCG levels are? Unless they're zero it's not conclusive.

Your scan showing no heart beat isn't unusual for a 5 week pregnancy. Heart beats usually only show up at about 7 weeks sometimes later.

I'm not sure if my comments are helpful, I hope they are. But it seems like things are inconclusive. I would not go for a D&C without conclusive confirmation.

Did you read the part where she said shes 9 weeks pregnant and there was a heart beat but now there isnt? It could not be any clearer that she is having a miscarriage so dont give false hope that is so hurtful. I dont think you even read her post?

Also I was having a miscarriage and my levels were 13000... it can take weeks for the hcg to leave your system so saying it has to be 0 isnt correct.

#20 Demera

Posted 14 December 2018 - 10:52 AM

View Posttaters, on 14 December 2018 - 10:47 AM, said:

Did you read the part where she said shes 9 weeks pregnant and there was a heart beat but now there isnt? It could not be any clearer that she is having a miscarriage so dont give false hope that is so hurtful. I dont think you even read her post?

Also I was having a miscarriage and my levels were 13000... it can take weeks for the hcg to leave your system so saying it has to be 0 isnt correct.

Completely support this post.  It's very clear the OP is having a miscarriage.  

Very high HCG levels can still occur during a miscarriage (such as molar pregnancy) and HCG doesn't fully leave the system often until the next period occurs.  It does not suddenly drop to zero. Misinformation can be really hurtful.

I'm really sorry Gisselle.  My third MC also occurred after a good 7 week scan with heartbeat of 159.  I didn't know until 12 weeks, as I was still very sick.  It was rough.

Edited by Demera, 14 December 2018 - 10:54 AM.


#21 gissellle

Posted 14 December 2018 - 11:41 AM

Thanks ladies.
Hcg levels were 19000 on Monday night (9w6d) I never had my levels checked prior.
I’m checked in at the hospital and I asked the nurse if my hcg levels had dropped on yesterday’s bloods and they had.
I’m thankful we didn’t tell our big kids about this pregnancy, it would’ve destroyed them.

It’ll be waiting till at least 2pm as I’m on the afternoon emergency list. Sitting in a recliner watching Netflix.

#22 gissellle

Posted 14 December 2018 - 12:10 PM

View PostMontyMumma, on 14 December 2018 - 10:38 AM, said:

I really don't want to get your hopes up, but it sounds like your results are not completely conclusive.
I had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and had it confirmed with a NOT PREGNANT test result, I had heavy bleeding for four-five days which reduced to nothing just like a normal period.
No D&amp;C required.

In my second pregnancy I had serious bleeding at 9 weeks and went straight to hospital, blood tests revealed a HCG level of 150000, which was quite high and definitely not an indicator of miscarriage, have you been told what your HCG levels are? Unless they're zero it's not conclusive.


Your scan showing no heart beat isn't unusual for a 5 week pregnancy. Heart beats usually only show up at about 7 weeks sometimes later.

I'm not sure if my comments are helpful, I hope they are. But it seems like things are inconclusive. I would not go for a D&amp;C without conclusive confirmation.

I should be 10w3d today - no heartbeat and only measuring 5w6d on Tuesday means baby died sometime after my dating scan 4 weeks ago where it had a heartbeat.

#23 MontyMumma

Posted 14 December 2018 - 12:35 PM

I'm very sorry, I clearly didn't read the post very well and did miss the part about the heart beat in the first scan.
I'm sincerely very sorry.

#24 Beanette

Posted 14 December 2018 - 06:15 PM

View Postgissellle, on 14 December 2018 - 11:41 AM, said:

Thanks ladies.
Hcg levels were 19000 on Monday night (9w6d) I never had my levels checked prior.
I’m checked in at the hospital and I asked the nurse if my hcg levels had dropped on yesterday’s bloods and they had.
I’m thankful we didn’t tell our big kids about this pregnancy, it would’ve destroyed them.

It’ll be waiting till at least 2pm as I’m on the afternoon emergency list. Sitting in a recliner watching Netflix.

I hope your procedure went smoothly and you're recovering at home. Big hugs to you xxx

#25 gissellle

Posted 14 December 2018 - 09:39 PM

Thanks Beanette:)

Procedure went well. Went in at 2pm and woke up at 3.30, no complications and left at 5.10.

Just some period type pain and light bleeding.

I told my 2 close girlfriends which I think will help with the healing. Feeling more at peace now, so hopefully tomorrow will be brighter.

Thank you to everyone for all your kind words and sharing your own stories.


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