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Devastated *Updated*


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#26 Coco36

Posted 15 December 2018 - 03:13 PM

I’m so sorry. It’s so hard isn’t it?! I’ve gone through it 4 times the longest 16weeks I was having my scan done watching him die, his heart was beating fine then he starting moving around so fast and they saw something wasn’t right and went back to check his heart rate and his little legs were kicking and heart rate dropping quick it was heartbreaking and had to give birth which broke me for weeks. Grieve and know it’s not your fault. I hope you have a lot of support around you. My partner was working away the last 2 times and I had no one to fall back and just cry on. I wish you all the best and hopefully you get your healthy bubba soon.

Edited by Coco36, 15 December 2018 - 03:15 PM.


#27 gissellle

Posted 15 December 2018 - 04:44 PM

View PostCoco36, on 15 December 2018 - 03:13 PM, said:

I’m so sorry. It’s so hard isn’t it?! I’ve gone through it 4 times the longest 16weeks I was having my scan done watching him die, his heart was beating fine then he starting moving around so fast and they saw something wasn’t right and went back to check his heart rate and his little legs were kicking and heart rate dropping quick it was heartbreaking and had to give birth which broke me for weeks. Grieve and know it’s not your fault. I hope you have a lot of support around you. My partner was working away the last 2 times and I had no one to fall back and just cry on. I wish you all the best and hopefully you get your healthy bubba soon.

OMG, my heart breaks for you :cry: I can't imagine how painful that would be... I'm so sorry for your loss.

Edited by gissellle, 15 December 2018 - 04:44 PM.


#28 gissellle

Posted 18 December 2018 - 08:13 PM

It was a week ago I found out my baby had no heartbeat.... my heart is still broken  😭😭

Edited by gissellle, 18 December 2018 - 08:14 PM.


#29 MrsT2018

Posted 18 December 2018 - 08:16 PM

Its been 5 months and 1 day for me. I'm still shattered and broken.

Big hugs xo

#30 just roses

Posted 18 December 2018 - 08:23 PM

I am very sorry, OP. And PP. It's a heartbreaking loss xx

#31 Pal30

Posted 19 December 2018 - 06:21 AM

Im so sorry to all of the lovely ladies who have been through this horrible experience. Its been 8 months since my 1st and I still think about what could have been every day. You are not alone.

#32 gissellle

Posted 19 December 2018 - 12:05 PM

The sad thing is this was a unplanned surprise (very much wanted by me) however not as wanted by DH.

So I don’t have the option to “try again”. This was my last chance at another bub. My older kids are 9 and 10 and I’m 35.

He’ll probably get the snip and I’ll feel empty for the rest of my life....

😭😭😭😭😭

#33 MrsT2018

Posted 19 December 2018 - 12:10 PM

Oh OP its so hard isn't it!

We're similar as I'm 35 and my kids are 11 & 14.

My XH constantly threatened the snip once the youngest was born. Was the worst feeling to have to accept that it was it when I knew I wanted more.

My heart breaks for you. FX he doesn't go through with anything permanent.

I was seriously going to look into fostering kids as an outlet to help me through.  Probably still will, but now I'm re-married I have a second chance now.

xo

#34 kirstenfleur

Posted 19 December 2018 - 12:50 PM

I'm so sorry, so so sorry. Miscarriage of a wanted pregnancy is terrible.

My story- I had a scan at 10 weeks, where we could see the baby flipping in all directions, got to 12 weeks, let everyone know, went in for the official 12 week scan, found out that the baby had died two weeks prior. Probably the day after that first scan.
Hearing "I'm sorry, there's no heartbeat" is still the worst moment of my life. Even though I have 2 kids, the second one born after the miscarriage (and life wouldn't be thinkable without him in it!) I still grieve that baby that never was.

Take good care of yourself.

#35 Beanette

Posted 19 December 2018 - 01:46 PM

View Postgissellle, on 18 December 2018 - 08:13 PM, said:

It was a week ago I found out my baby had no heartbeat.... my heart is still broken  😭😭

I don't think it ever really goes away. My first loss was over two and half years ago and I still think about it.....
Don't try to rush yourself into feeling over it, it's so normal to still be acutely grieving right now xxx

#36 gissellle

Posted 20 December 2018 - 04:44 PM

Update:

6 days post op - went back to work today. Felt crampy/achey and at 12 started passing clots, around the size of 5c pieces. They’re black in colour and have increased in frequency as the days gone on.

Rang hospital and they said if the clots get bigger or I’m in pain that can’t be managed with paracetamol and ibuprofen to head up to the ED. Otherwise to follow up with my GP .

I’m getting intermittent stabbing pains in my abdomen at the moment and I’ve had a headache on and off most of the day - but no fever. I’m also bloated.

Anyone had this?? Since the op I’ve had light red/brown bleeding with very little pain/discomfort.

Edited by gissellle, 20 December 2018 - 04:45 PM.


#37 Beanette

Posted 20 December 2018 - 08:44 PM

View Postgissellle, on 20 December 2018 - 04:44 PM, said:

Update:

6 days post op - went back to work today. Felt crampy/achey and at 12 started passing clots, around the size of 5c pieces. They’re black in colour and have increased in frequency as the days gone on.

Rang hospital and they said if the clots get bigger or I’m in pain that can’t be managed with paracetamol and ibuprofen to head up to the ED. Otherwise to follow up with my GP .

I’m getting intermittent stabbing pains in my abdomen at the moment and I’ve had a headache on and off most of the day - but no fever. I’m also bloated.

Anyone had this?? Since the op I’ve had light red/brown bleeding with very little pain/discomfort.

I have not had this with either of my D&Cs, after the procedure the bleeding was like light/medium period bleeding. I did feel bloated, but no stabbing pains (my pain was basically gone within 24 hours of the operation). It sounds unusual to me to be suddenly having pain and passing big clots now since your operation was a few days ago.

Did you see an OB for the D&C, or a GP for shared care of your pregnancy? I would go back to them and ask their advice. Or if you have another GP that you trust. Try to get in tomorrow if you can, otherwise there will such a big wait over Christmas.

#38 gissellle

Posted 20 December 2018 - 08:56 PM

I didn’t make it to my antenatal hospital visits. I had only seen my GP.

My d&c was done at my local hospital, however it wasn’t  the hospital I was booked into for the birth (I’m high risk and my local couldn’t accommodate me there).

Yeah I thought it was a bit strange to start passing stuff 6 days post op. I only lost 2 clots straight away the procedure and since then just light bleeding.

I’ve booked my GP for 11.40am tomorrow.

#39 DM. 2012

Posted 20 December 2018 - 09:51 PM

Gissell, I’m so sorry for your loss. I lost my first pregnancy the same way, found out at 10 weeks that the baby died at around 6 weeks.  I didn’t have a D&C because I’d been to the obstatrician I had originally booked. He did a scan and said that most of it had gone. I ended up passing lots of clots over the next couple of weeks.

Don’t let the clots go on too long. Also, go to the chemist and ask for some iron tablets to prevent your iron tablets getting too low. Just a warning that higher strength iron tablets will probably cause constipation.


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