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4 month sleep regression advice!
18 replies to this topic
Posted 17 December 2018 - 08:52 AM
Hi everyone. My second bubba is 14 weeks tomorrow. Last few nights she has been waking every 2 hours and after every hour from 4am. Shes usually asleep around 7ish (depends on the day sometimes earlier sometimes later). She sometimes falls asleep awake sometimes I have to feed her before sleep as she doesnt eat much in the day last couple weeks no matter what I try she gets so overtired by bedtime that she cries before she can eat I have to basically hold her on the boob
The early waking has been happening since she was a newborn only sometimes she would sleep through it a bit better. She has never been a great napper its a struggle to get more than 2 hours in the day. She doesnt nap in car, pram, carrier unless its in constant motion and if theres any interesting stimulus she wakes up, so Ive ben putting her into the bassinet to self settle since around 10 weeks.
She usually settles ok usually I try to resettle but can take a very long time to do that. So by 4pm she is cranky! Anyway after my long story my question is did anyone just keep feeding baby every 2 hours in the night and they grew out of it? Did they go back to waking 2 or so times rather than 2 hourly?
I dont want to keep feeding her every 2 hours and then her not eating in the day so getting most of her food at night I dont want it becoming a habit to eat mainly then.
I think for the first few times she is hungry but after that she just snacks. I dont want to leave her for too long to cry I dont want her waking my 4 year old. I was previously feeding her around 2x in the night.
Also after a feed sometimes I can hear her 'talking' to herself to go back to sleep which is what she does in the day. But it can take 45min of talking/tossing before shes asleep again then the process starts all over again after that next cycle. Do babies get better/quicker getting back to sleep as they get older?? Feel like shes missing out on a lot of sleep overnight.
Sorry for the novel!
Posted 17 December 2018 - 09:16 AM
Yes, I did wake up every 2 hours to feed both my babies from about 4 months. The eldest improved on her own by about 7 months (would only wake once or twice a night then). The second has taken a little longer but when she woke I would only need to roll over, feed her for 5 mins then fell back to sleep ( we co slept). Most nights the wake ups were so short that I didn’t even remember them as I basically slept through them. She has just turned 1 and the past month has started sleeping through the night. So I’m my experience it passed on its own but it is exhausting.
Posted 17 December 2018 - 09:35 AM
My bubs sleep changed so much at 4 months and things didnt get better until 6 months. In saying that over the past couple of months (he is almost 9 months) he has woken up during the night at least once and it is so hard to get him back to sleep. Im exhausted from work so I just sleep with him from when he wakes as its the only way we both get sleep. I dont have any advice but I know your struggle!!!
Posted 17 December 2018 - 10:33 AM
It passes, eventually. Just try and get as much rest as you can.
If it’s possible, try and get someone who can help you out with chores as it’s very hardto stay on top of cleaning during this time. Nothing deep,just clean clothes, clean plates and clean floors.
We also had a lot of takeaway food during this time.
And sometimes you’ll find things that work. When DS was this age, his dad used to sit on the couch at night holding him and that was how he slept.
Posted 17 December 2018 - 11:30 AM
Yes, no matter how much they fed at regression/ leap times they eventually settled back to normal for me. I suggest do whatever you can to get as much rest as possible, call in any help you can get and wait it out. The 4 month regression is particularly rough, but it will pass
Posted 17 December 2018 - 05:38 PM
Sorry but I think you sound too definitive there. You can’t guarantee that it will not become a habit. All babies are different.
It won't become a habit at all, babies change a mllion times in that first year
Posted 17 December 2018 - 06:02 PM
Your words bring back memories of my four month sleep deprived period. I felt I was going insane at the four month mark. It has been four months of very little sleep. I fed on demand and cuddled on demand. It meant very little time for me and no time at all to manage a house and DH who didn't "get it". Everyone told me I shouldn't be getting up for the baby and to let him cry it out, Maternal Health Nurses were really on my case at that time about it. Yeah, no. I did what I wanted to do because at the end of the day, he's my baby.
About 4 months I started really getting strict on my day/night routine as I knew he could sleep at night with only two wake ups. I dream fed my DS at 11pm and then again at 3am after putting him down at 7pm. Yes, I was told that I shouldn't be dream feeding beyond 4 months. Well, I wasn't prepared to let my baby scream until he fell asleep. Some people can do that, I couldn't. So don't feel bad for your choices. Its your gut instinct, if your instinct says, go and comfort your baby, go and do that and don't worry what anyone else says.
My DS was sleeping with two wake ups (on good nights) until about 5 months, when it all went haywire and he wouldn't sleep at all during the day and nights had returned to hourly wake ups. I got a sleep consultant in then, who modified my routine (essentially my DS was getting fed solids at a time that didn't work for his gut, so we scaled back the last feed of solids to 3pm and the last bottle at 6). I was told that if I didn't let him cry it out, then he'd never learn to sleep overnight.
So, at 6 months I let him cry on lengthening intervals between pick ups. This was hard (on me), but it helped him learn how to self settle. With no overnight feeds at all, because he shouldn't have needed them. (I cheated and gave him a dream feed at 11pm though, up until 8 months). It took until 9 months before he was "sleeping through" without an 11pm dream feed. In the last few weeks we added another solid feed at 5.30 and bedtime is 6.30 (and he usually falls asleep at 7), with last bottle still at 6.
DS is just on 10 months now and we have had more nights with him sleeping well from 7pm until 6.30am in the last fortnight than in ever. He's had some rough nights the last few days because of the weather and he's in some weird regression probably due to a Leap.
It does get better but it feels interminable and I found the time between 4 and 7 months the hardest so far, although my DS has an allergy and a few other things that are making life a bit trickier than for other bubs his same age.
Posted 17 December 2018 - 10:24 PM
I had a similar issue with constant night feeding to get bubs back to sleep. Wasn't working for either of us, we both had rubbish sleep. By 5 months I had enough and got a sleep consultant in for the night. That night he took 3 hours to self settle with ongoing comfort (patting, shooshing etc), and another 1.5 hrs at 4am. The next night he settled in 15 mins, had a dreamfeed and slept in until 8am - I kid you not. Changed my life.
Day routine improved also. After 3 or 4 weeks I would pop him in bed and walk out. We kept the dreamfeeds going for a while, and he'd sleep until about 7ish.
He did have extra feeds over a couple of growth spurts but it was only 1 or 2 extra bottles and for a short period of time.
So now I'm a believer that babies can have habits and those habits can be changed. They do eventually grow out of things but I wanted to train/encourage sleep habits that worked for both of us. I was fortunate that DS was so responsive.
Book a phone consult with a sleep school and see what they say. The mob I used don't work with babies under 4 months old.
Posted 20 December 2018 - 08:42 AM
Thanks everyone the last couple nights have been better. The main issue thats causing it is overtiredness because of the naps. She is beside herself by 4pm. She fell asleep at 5 the other night didnt waks till 1130 then 530 and was still grumpy. Were starting to have feeding issues too hardly eating while awake refusing to eat anymore than one side for a few min. If i keep trying to put her on she cries coz she thinks im trying to put her to sleep. By the afternoon its horrible i have to hold her down on to my boob just so she will eat :/
Posted 20 December 2018 - 09:36 AM
She can self settle its just that shes chronically overtired that she ends up a crying mess by the afternoon 🙁 but you wouldnt know she was tired because she goes tired to hyper in minutes. Shes just now woken after 45min screaming and is trying to suck on her fingers to go back to sleep in between the crying poor bub. If I try to resettle her she continues to cry anyway :/
Posted 21 December 2018 - 10:23 AM
Have you tried baby wearing? At four months they’re still so little you can have them in a sling or carrier and she might sleep better near you.
My son slept best when he was held, and at that age they’re so portable.
This was my experience too, in the tula and off we went. bub slept for hours happily.
Posted 26 December 2018 - 02:36 PM
Lunafrey she only catnaps in carrier too and I habe to be constantly moving and she hasnt napped in the pram much since she was a month or so old. Plus its very hot here so too hard to go out for long walks. Im just hoping itll click one day...
Posted 30 January 2019 - 12:42 PM
Thanks everyone for your advice! As soon as she finished leap 4 shes been more settled and not so screamy at bed/naptime. She still has her moments but is a lot more chilled out in general and happier to talk herself to sleep in her bassinet.
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