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Sleeping arrangements

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#1 My4beautifulboys

Posted 08 January 2019 - 12:17 PM

Just curious for those with large families. What do you find works well for sleeping arrangements. Do your older children share rooms or separate? We currently live in a 3x 1 and need to extend. We have four children and each would like their own room. Eldest is 13 youngest is 5. My Mil thinks that if we extend the house to a 5 x 2 that one day when they’ve all left home, well have a huge house for just two people. I’m seeing this with my friends children, as soon as they reach 18 it’s off to uni or travelling. A lot of them are moving in to their own home in early 20’s.

#2 Hypnic Jerk

Posted 08 January 2019 - 12:30 PM

But then you will potentially have 4 sets of grandkids.  MIL and I discussed this at the weekend.  By the time the youngest moved out the eldest had kids, sometimes staying for a week in the school hit.  We were just there with my 2 kids plus DSS, his wife and baby, so 7 extras.

#3 Mollyksy

Posted 08 January 2019 - 12:30 PM

I actually see the opposite of kids staying home (or actually returning home) all through 20s and early 30s! Good luck with your decision. Maybe if you build the 5 bedrooms and the kids do go, and stay gone, you could sell and downsize? I'd talk to real estate agents and see what they think re different configurations and investment v resale. You could configure the extension such that you could split into two residences and rent half out. Lots of options. But try and get some advice that's not just MIL!

#4 Expelliarmus

Posted 08 January 2019 - 12:38 PM

I sometimes wonder aloud why we have a big house (2 years old and the kids are now 15-18) and every time DH counters with 'Grandchildren'. I see a lot of adult children returning home or staying longer these days. My sister sold her 4x2 house with carport to downsize when her boys left home but then ended up building a 3x2 with double garage due to market factors and she says she couldn't have a smaller home anyway given how often her interstate son and grandchildren come to stay!

Of course I also look at my hermit children and wonder if DH is delusional assuming there will be grandchildren ...

#5 jessa86

Posted 08 January 2019 - 12:41 PM

I have 5, eldest is 11, youngest is 2 months. We have a 5 bedroom house. The two youngest boys share and they're happy to do that for the time being, they're 4 and 7, but I doubt it will always be like that. Our plan is to eventually convert our garage to a granny flat for our eldest and when he eventually moves out, then the next one etc. We are also going to extend so we can add another bathroom, at the moment we only have 1.5 bathrooms and it isn't going to work for much longer.

I look at it from my parents perspective. It's just my brother and I, but they have a 4 bedroom house. My brother and I have both gone back home with our families when we've been in-between houses or saving up for our home deposit and I'd like to be able to do that for my own children. Also with the way things are with house prices I can see my children living with us well into their 20's.

#6 Seven of Nine

Posted 08 January 2019 - 12:53 PM

I wonder the same thing about whether a large house is the right way to go for our large family.

All my kids would like their own room... as long as they don't actually have to sleep in it. Apparently sleeping alone is terrifying. So at the moment I have four kids in one bedroom, and a pull out mattress under DH and my bed. Bed 3 is a small rumpus.

#7 4kids mostlysane

Posted 08 January 2019 - 01:12 PM

I have 4 kids.  Oldest is 18 (and just started a full time job - yay!) and youngest is 8.

8yo and 12yo share a room.

15yo has her own room

18yo has his own room (but is a converted study so quite small, and with no built in cupboard - not that he hangs anything up in the small one he has....)

18yo has lived in his small room since 8yo was born, so 8 years.  I think, once his three month work probation is over (and assuming he stays there) his next goal will be to move out of the family home.

15yo could easily fill an entire house right now - she's going to have her own tv series of hoarders when she grows up.

12yo would love her own space - really coming into those teenage girly hormones god help me.

8yo says she'd like her own room but has been moping about since Thursday when 12yo went to Scout Jamboree for 10 days.....

DH and I have fantasies of how we'd extend the house but realistically we should have done it when the 8yo was born.  Can't see it happening now.

When we visit my parents in Sydney (they have a 3 bedroom plus study house) we all cram into various rooms/on sofa beds as it's usually only for one or two nights and Mum would be highly offended if we stayed elsewhere.  Same with the ILs - (3 bedrooms plus study) mid-north coast- we all "fit" but only just and we are living on top of each other.

I don't feel the need to expand my house now for possible future grandkids.  If we'd had the money 8 years ago, I would have done it in a heartbeat.  Now I think it's too late.

#8 Seven of Nine

Posted 08 January 2019 - 01:36 PM

I love your username 4kids mostlysane. I'm mostly not sane 😂

#9 Ruf~Feral~es

Posted 08 January 2019 - 01:59 PM

I would also look at something that gives you a dual-occupancy option down the track, whilst being useful now as well.

We currently have a large 'studio' with attached ensuite, which has space for a small kitchenette to be added in down the track.  I would have added another room if we had the area.  That way you could have two extra bedrooms and a bathroom, or a large activity room to share and 1 bedroom.

At the moment it is a music studio and party room, as well as guest accommodation.  The kids use it for sleepovers too.

ETA - the kids might be happier sharing a room longer too, if they have an alternative to crash in with friends, and additional space to just 'hang' with their mates.

Down the track it can be used as an air-b-n-b, as well as when/if the kids and families come back.  Also a great selling feature.

Edited by Ruf~Feral~es, 08 January 2019 - 02:00 PM.

#10 just roses

Posted 08 January 2019 - 02:01 PM

When we bought our house, it had this really interesting bedroom. Imagine a large rectangular room with a single door opening but a built-in wardrobe right down the middle about 3?4 of the way. So you walk into the room and the end of the wardrobe is about a metre from you, and on the right side there's a room and on the left side there's a room. Each room has its own half of the wardrobe and a window. It was perfect for my kids as they each got their own room (despite the common door, they were pretty separate). But when it came time to renovate, it was very easy to knock out that wardrobe and be left with one large room.

#11 born.a.girl

Posted 08 January 2019 - 02:23 PM

From memory you are out in the country a bit?

I've got a feeling you had a new build planned a few years ago, too, that was a thread on EB???

Anyways, I definitely think that if you do the extension, you should from the beginning allow for a section to be fully self contained.

A kitchenette can be tiny, but the absence of one can mean restrictions on the use of the space.

Even if it's just for family returning later, it means people have their own space.

It also means you could Airbnb the space if it does actually remain empty for any length of time.

A few that we've stayed in have been like that - completely self contained but under the same roof as the host's house, with a securely locked door between the two.

#12 ~LemonMyrtle~

Posted 08 January 2019 - 02:37 PM

Not me, but family friends have 4 older kids coming and going and are building a house. They are basically building 2 houses in one. It’s split level and lower level is 2 bed, bath, kitchenette. Upstairs is the main house, 3 bed 2 bath, pretty standard config. They’re including a lift too.

It’s a great idea because it’s multi purpose. Older kids can have their space if they need to move back home, but also, It’s set up so that they can look after their elderly parents if required. Or they can just never go downstairs and just live on the one level.

For resale value having two separate but together living spaces is a huge plus, because in many cultures, living with your elderly parents is common.

So I’d be doing that in your position OP, do the 5 beds but configure it so that you have at least 2 masters and maybe even a separate kitchen space.

#13 Tweetybird91

Posted 08 January 2019 - 02:41 PM

View PostSeven of Nine, on 08 January 2019 - 01:36 PM, said:

I love your username 4kids mostlysane. I'm mostly not sane 😂
Also love it. Another one who is mostly not sane.

#14 My4beautifulboys

Posted 08 January 2019 - 02:47 PM

Thanks for sharing your replies. Yes I did post a thread on here ,some years ago now. We had plans drawn up to extend but then Ds suddenly became critically unwell, so all went on hold.
The plans are alright, but not completely what we can see being suitable for our family. Especially now that the children are getting older.
I think that 5 bedrooms would be ideal. But definitely need two living areas.
We do live with acreage so space isn’t an issue.

#15 Newbutoldish

Posted 08 January 2019 - 02:49 PM

We bought a 4 bedroom house just before our 4th child was born. We have now turned it into a 5 bedroom house. It’s bliss. All their crap is in their own space. They can all get away from each other if they need to.
They have ‘sleepovers’ together sometimes but mostly they sleep in their own rooms.

We are so much happier as a family having our own space. We would really struggle back to a 3 bedroom house now. Obviously you make whatever you have available work but if it can be done, I’d do it. We also hope that it means the kids will be in no rush to leave home. They are only young now (will see if I still feel that way when they hit the teens lol)

#16 Tweetybird91

Posted 08 January 2019 - 02:53 PM

I've tried various combinations but at the moment the oldest and youngest each have their own room and two middle children share.
Down the track the younger two will share (once I trust the two year old not to bury the almost one year old underneath a mountain of toys in his sleep) and the older two will have their own rooms

#17 Soontobegran

Posted 08 January 2019 - 03:10 PM

We extended from 3x1x1 to 4x2x2 after our fourth baby only to have an unexpected pregnancy so we had 5 children in 3 of those bedrooms.
We had 4 girls and 1 boy so girls always shared and the boy had his own room.

It is 'nice' to have your own room but it is not necessary....they will live.

As for kids leaving home and ending up with a huge house and 2 people........leaving home tends to not be like it used to be these days with older children living at home for much longer. We never felt our home was too big.....there are grandchildren and sleepovers and stuff.

We just sold and bought....... we still have a 4x2x2 for two of us but one bedroom is an office, one is the grandchildren's bedroom and play room , one is a guest room and one is ours.

Each family's needs will depend on it's dynamic, also when it comes to resale value the more bedrooms the more you are going to get in most areas.

#18 c.sanders

Posted 08 January 2019 - 03:18 PM

We literally just moved back home... In a granny flat... But still...

We are in the middle of building but regardless this would have happened

#19 Bigbaubles

Posted 08 January 2019 - 04:15 PM

A granny flat could be a great option if you've got the space.

We've got a self contained huge 2 bedroom granny flat that is bigger than most 2 bed units. My brother currently lives there, however it would be great for our kids as they get to uni age etc. we have far more rooms than we will ever need, but always useful.

#20 tiggy2

Posted 08 January 2019 - 06:26 PM

We have four kids in a 5 BR house - the two girls share and so do the two boys, the extra bedrooms are a playroom and extra study/music room.  Kids choose to share and know they can take over the other rooms if they want in future but they like having them the way they are.

I would go the extra rooms, there are plenty of different ways you could use them if you don’t need them as bedrooms.

#21 SummerStar

Posted 08 January 2019 - 06:39 PM

We have 4 kids and intentionally looked for a house with 5 bedrooms when buying. I  personally felt having their own space was important. We ended up with three living areas which is handy but the kids mostly hang out in their own rooms.

Our previous house was only 3 bedroom but the kids were much younger. The smallest was in our room, the next was on their own and the two eldest that were close in age shared. It was an important feature to me when looking for our current house for them to have their own rooms. Their rooms are slightly on the small side, big enough for what they need, just smallish but its their own space they can get away from everyone if they feel the need. I'd always opt for a room each and then downsize later in life, my parents have a 5 bedroom house and there was only two of us kids, they're still there and still make use of the space even though us kids moved out 20 years ago.

Edited by SummerStar, 08 January 2019 - 06:42 PM.

#22 123Babies4Me

Posted 08 January 2019 - 06:48 PM

We are renting a 3x1 now with 5 kids after living in a 4x2 for a few years with 4 kids  (we’re now closer to the city). Man I miss our extra bedroom and bathroom! And I imagine it’s going to get harder as my kids get older (eldest is almost 9).

#23 Oriental lily

Posted 08 January 2019 - 06:52 PM

We have five kids in a 4 bedroom house . It’s very strange here ! Me and Dh for countless reasons need our own seperate rooms .So this restricts the kids rooms to two . The 15 year old has a room of her own . The 10, 8 and 3 year old share the other and the baby sleeps with me .

Looking forward DH is currently converting garage to his room , so we will have the 15 year old in her own room, the middle girls sharing a room and the two youngest boys sharing another and me totally on my own ( looking forward to it !).
Looking forward even further down the track I want to build a ‘parent retreat’ upwards . We can not extend out so up we will go so I want to build two extra rooms bathroom and small living area on the second level .

That will turn house in to a five bedroom x 2 bath x 2 living area with a converted garage .

I actually think generational living will become more of a thing as living expenses increase . So even if we want to sell and downsize in the future I imagine others would love a big home .

I have zero belief that we will be empty nesters for a very very long time!

#24 4kids mostlysane

Posted 09 January 2019 - 07:54 AM

View PostSeven of Nine, on 08 January 2019 - 01:36 PM, said:

I love your username 4kids mostlysane. I'm mostly not sane

View PostTweetybird91, on 08 January 2019 - 02:41 PM, said:

Also love it. Another one who is mostly not sane.

I lie....... a lot :-)

#25 knottygirl

Posted 09 January 2019 - 09:46 AM

We have a small 4 bed 2 bath house. We are planning to build a detached 2 bed granny flat for the oldest kids once they are older. The idea is that we will build a shell and the boys and dh will fit it out themselves as a bit of a project.

Once they leave it will be either room for an older relative of needed, like my mum, space for the kids if they need to move home with family between houses or extra income as an air bnb.

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