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Marie Kondo and sparking joy


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#26 YumChaTheSecond

Posted 09 January 2019 - 07:35 PM

I just decluttered a heap of my too-small suits and shirts. I now have a huge IKEA bag full of workwear to donate to 'Wear for Success'. I have accepted that if I do lose the weight (which I hope to) I will buy new suits at that point. For now, I will enjoy a wardrobe full of the things that i can and do wear.

The method doesn't seem to be exclusively about joy. Sometimes she rephrases it so you picture the life you want to create and only keep the stuff that you want to see in your future. So, although boring, you are probably going to need your toilet brush in your future. But I don't need my holey Egghead sweatshirt.

#27 TheGreenSheep

Posted 09 January 2019 - 07:44 PM

My DH is an horrendous horder. His attachment to ‘things’ is distracting and bogs things down. Sometimes he will have a clean out, but loses focus and just finishes before I think it’s done. Sort of undermines the whole reason... or he will wear old clothes at home, and wear them to the shops anyways... I have busted him wearing a pj top under his jumper before, he looked like a homeless man. He will keep clothes for good, and then continue to wear old clothes, so the new ones never wear out, and then it’s too good to throw as he barely wore it.. FML.

My kids are appreciative of a clean out, they embrace new clothes, cleaning out the small outgrown ones, and love a good tidy up. I spent hours over two days recently cleaning out their bedrooms and ruthlessly throwing stuff in the bin. The kids helped and made decisions about everything. They bloody loved the end result.

DH is a work in progress. He has so much stuff. I find it suffocating.

#28 Crombek

Posted 09 January 2019 - 07:51 PM

View PostTheGreenSheep, on 09 January 2019 - 07:44 PM, said:

My DH is an horrendous horder. His attachment to ‘things’ is distracting and bogs things down. Sometimes he will have a clean out, but loses focus and just finishes before I think it’s done. Sort of undermines the whole reason... or he will wear old clothes at home, and wear them to the shops anyways... I have busted him wearing a pj top under his jumper before, he looked like a homeless man. He will keep clothes for good, and then continue to wear old clothes, so the new ones never wear out, and then it’s too good to throw as he barely wore it.. FML.

My kids are appreciative of a clean out, they embrace new clothes, cleaning out the small outgrown ones, and love a good tidy up. I spent hours over two days recently cleaning out their bedrooms and ruthlessly throwing stuff in the bin. The kids helped and made decisions about everything. They bloody loved the end result.

DH is a work in progress. He has so much stuff. I find it suffocating.

Mines the same! Got cranky when I threw out 3 pairs of boxers that had holes in the elastic because they were still perfectly wearable. Mate I can’t close the drawer because of all the undies I keep buying you so you don’t have to wear saggy holey ones 😂.

#29 ERipley

Posted 09 January 2019 - 07:51 PM

View PostYumChaTheSecond, on 09 January 2019 - 07:35 PM, said:

The method doesn't seem to be exclusively about joy. Sometimes she rephrases it so you picture the life you want to create and only keep the stuff that you want to see in your future.

I love this! I have so much guilt about every I I should be doing but what I want in my future is just a sense of light and order. At this point I can’t even imagine walking into my wardrobe and not having stuff all over the floor, piled up the walls, spilling over the shelves. Boxes full of god knows what. The obvious place to start is the stuff sitting on the floor that I haven’t even touched in the last year probably but there are so many expensive dresses I wore once ever, or things I’ve never even worn that I feel bad about chucking. Of course I’ve since had 3 babies and I probably wouldn’t wear any of it now anyway because it would be too “young” for me even if I could iron out the new bumps.

I have gone for the very basic clothes uniform that keeps me going now. I spend enough for 3 basic outfits to get me through autumn and then about 3 for summer. Nice shorts and shirts for summer because I live in the playground with my kids, then in summer it’s just jeans and a few oversized jumpers. Like a PP, I can’t tell you the joy it sparks not having to think about this. I don’t get bored because I don’t have time to think about fashion anymore. I don’t go out except for the odd lunch and those clothes I buy are nice enough to double. Smart casual I suppose, so they can be dressed up or down. I have s couple of nice dresses in case. I have hundreds of other items of clothing but they are just gathering dust. It seems so ridiculous as I’m writing this.

#30 Jane Jetson

Posted 09 January 2019 - 07:55 PM

View Postsueratbag, on 09 January 2019 - 06:41 PM, said:

Actually, you're still following Marie Kondo's principles, because for you, having 6 potato peelers is what gives you what you want. (Murdering DH and DDs may achieve the same thing, but would probably have Consequences.  You're safer to stick to the 6 potato peelers.) Posted Image


Heh, maybe she's all right then :)

#31 Crombek

Posted 09 January 2019 - 07:56 PM

View PostStillDreaming, on 09 January 2019 - 07:09 PM, said:



Perhaps holding onto those clothes is holding you back.... Can you create a skeleton closet for now and slowly start adding pieces you love that suit who you are today?

There’s the rub. Who I am today is not who I want to be. And I’m not talking weight really, I’m not particularly far off pre kid weight, but I still see myself as the Alannah Hill,high heels wearing gal, not the frazzled mum of three. Gah.

Edited by Crombek, 09 January 2019 - 07:56 PM.


#32 TheGreenSheep

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:04 PM

View PostCrombek, on 09 January 2019 - 07:51 PM, said:



Mines the same! Got cranky when I threw out 3 pairs of boxers that had holes in the elastic because they were still perfectly wearable. Mate I can’t close the drawer because of all the undies I keep buying you so you don’t have to wear saggy holey ones .

I have been known to tear tatty clothing apart at the clothesline and throw in the bin as the bin goes out. I have also torn up his fave footy shorts in 2003. We’re still married, so lucky he doesn’t hold a grudge LOL. I now chuck any dodgy underwear as it comes off the line. There was the time he was wearing holey jeans, hole high up the thigh, I poked a finger and rip rip rip. The kids were delighted.

#33 ERipley

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:10 PM

View PostCrombek, on 09 January 2019 - 07:56 PM, said:



There’s the rub. Who I am today is not who I want to be. And I’m not talking weight really, I’m not particularly far off pre kid weight, but I still see myself as the Alannah Hill,high heels wearing gal, not the frazzled mum of three. Gah.

This. DP is making me keep all the Alannah Hill for our daughters so I don’t have to chuck that at least. Some really nice things there. So sparkly. Sigh.

#34 EmmDasher

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:12 PM

View PostCrombek, on 09 January 2019 - 07:56 PM, said:



There’s the rub. Who I am today is not who I want to be. And I’m not talking weight really, I’m not particularly far off pre kid weight, but I still see myself as the Alannah Hill,high heels wearing gal, not the frazzled mum of three. Gah.

I get this. After my second child I spent a long time thinking about what I actually wanted to wear - what would mesh with my personality and style and my new lifestyle. Clothes are important to me. I could fit into my pre-kids clothes but I no longer enjoyed wearing them. They were high maintenance and not great for a life with little kids. I’m definitely not a baggy tee and track pants kind of person either. While my old clothes held great memories they really didn’t make me happy in the present - they made me sad. It took me the better part of 12 months and several trawls through my wardrobe. Each time I let go of more items and had a better sense of what I did like.

The capsule wardrobe (Project 333) process was invaluable because when I picked out my limited number of items my present style became really obvious - both from the items I picked and the things I was wishing for.

#35 MadMarchMasterchef

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:20 PM

View PostEllie bean, on 09 January 2019 - 05:24 PM, said:

My toilet brush doesn’t spark joy but I need it... (I don’t like the whole Marie Kondo thing at all personally)

:rofl:   You have made my night with that comment


Also I have things that give me joy that are useless, like my guitar I haven't played for years, but I probably will get back into it once the kids are older and I have more time.

To be fair I haven't read her book so I am willing to be open minded and see what she has to say. I will probably watch the Netflix doco.

Edited by WannabeMasterchef, 09 January 2019 - 08:25 PM.


#36 Expelliarmus

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:24 PM

I’m sorting my underwear ... it doesn’t spark joy but I can’t just chuck it all out - I need to wear that stuff!!

I’m not on board with joy sparking but I’m a reasonably good de-clutterer- when I get around to it. It’s that part I struggle with - motivation to de-clutter/tidy.

I tried folding t shirts like Marie Kondo but I got bored and gave up. It did not spark the joy ...

#37 Lucrezia Bauble

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:28 PM

yeh i cant get it...going through my bottom kitchen drawer (does everyone have *that* kitchen drawer?) - looking at some sad discarded detritus of my life....and saying “does it spark joy?” no. no it doesn’t.


#38 MadMarchMasterchef

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:29 PM

View PostEmmDasher, on 09 January 2019 - 05:59 PM, said:

It has inspired us to really change our approach to waste & consuming because the volume of stuff we had tucked away was a bit embarrassing.

I really want to buy less and buy better quality stuff that lasts but its so hard to find sometimes :no2:
Even the quality in the expensive stores is often rubbish.

#39 EmmDasher

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:30 PM

It’s not really about spark joy IMO. It’s about having a vision of where you want to go and making choices that align with those goals. The spark joy question is just one tool to get there. People seem to get so hung up on it. In that sense I don’t think her method is that different to any other decluttering method except instead of room by room you do it by categories of thing - and once you get to miscellany it almost ends up in a room by room anyway.

Edited by EmmDasher, 10 January 2019 - 03:05 PM.


#40 MadMarchMasterchef

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:38 PM

Me again - sorry for the lazy question and not having read the book - what does she say about gifts?

EG if you were given something that is a present from somebody special but you don't actually like the item, its not your style or whatever?  

I thought about taking a photo of the item then getting rid of the item itself. Does anyone do anything like this?

#41 cfwact

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:39 PM

I’m a big fan of her method. For me it’s a simple philosophy about valuing your possessions, minimising waste and appreciating what you have.

#42 EmmDasher

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:43 PM

View PostWannabeMasterchef, on 09 January 2019 - 08:38 PM, said:

Me again - sorry for the lazy question and not having read the book - what does she say about gifts?

EG if you were given something that is a present from somebody special but you don't actually like the item, its not your style or whatever?  

I thought about taking a photo of the item then getting rid of the item itself. Does anyone do anything like this?

Personally we just receive the gift with gratitude and then regift/donate/sell/exchange as appropriate.

In her book she says - I’ll quote it because it’s shortish:

But let’s consider this more carefully. Most of these gifts remain unopened or have been used only once. Admit it. They simply don’t suit your taste. The true purpose of a present is to be received. Presents are not ‘things’ but a means for conveying someone’s feelings.

When viewed from this perspective, you don’t need to feel guilty for throwing a gift away. Just thank it for the joy it gave you when you first received it. Of course, it would be ideal if you could use it with joy. But surely the person who gave it to you doesn’t want you to use it out of a sense of obligation, or to put it away without using it, only to feel guilty every time you see it. When you throw it away, you do so for the sake of the giver too.

#43 a letter to Elise.

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:46 PM

I watched the whole series over the weekend, and did my wardrobe and desk while I watched.

I found the spark joy thing useful for my clothes. I have a LOT of clothes. 3 kids over the last nine years, a fluctuating body, and different life style needs. When I really went through them I found a lot of the clothes I was waiting to fit back into either aren't in fashion any more, or they simply aren't "me" anymore. Waist lines in particular have changed a lot over the last few years, and a lot of my skirts and trousers looked so dated. My weight is the same as pre kids, but my waist is a bit bigger, and my boobs are 4 sizes bigger, so different things suit me now.

Really looking at things, and recognising that I once loved them, but they just didn't suit me anymore, helped me let them go. I got rid of a third of my wardrobe. I kept one box of pretty dresses that I still really love, that don't fit. I will revisit them in 6 months, and probably cull some of the, as well.

It's been so nice in the mornings, not having to rifle though the mess to find things. My wardrobe isn't all squashed, so I can see what I have.

I can't wait to do more of the house. Ornaments are next.

#44 IShallWearMidnight

Posted 09 January 2019 - 08:48 PM

I love Konmari! Im an emotional hoarder so find it easier to rid of something by thanking it and then letting go.

#45 nom_de_plume

Posted 09 January 2019 - 09:00 PM

Overall i'm not really a fan of the Konmari method. What I did like about it though was sorting things by category instead of room. I found it much easier to find time to declutter the tea towels or the Tupperware as opposed to the entire kitchen, and of course once i'd started i'd get on a roll and think 'i'll just do the pots and pans too!' So I did find it really helpful in that regard.

#46 StillDreaming

Posted 09 January 2019 - 09:14 PM

I’ve just spent the last couple of hours since ds went to sleep sorting through my room. I’m desperate to do my clothes, as I know I should have done first, but I don’t have time to put everything on my bed and sort through it all. I did go through my pants though and also folded them the way she suggests. Omg. So simple but I know it will make a massive difference because I won’t always grab whatever is on top... and if I do, I’ll know I can get rid of more things because it’s not a matter of not being able to see them.

I’m super keen to finish going through my clothes now that I’ve started. I know I’ll look at things differently this time and won’t be umming and ahhing so much with things I don’t wear but feel that I should.

I’m a fan 😊.

#47 wannabe30

Posted 09 January 2019 - 09:50 PM

View PostRowenas Necklace, on 09 January 2019 - 06:34 PM, said:



Do you mind if I ask what your basic uniform is? I'm considering taking this approach, but I keep going back and forth on it.

I have two: “work uniform” and “mummy uniform” ...

WORK
Black pants x2
Black skirts x2
Black tops x3
Navy pants
Navy/blue pinstripe pants
White shirts x2
Coloured cardigans x2
Black cardigan
Black shoes
Navy shoes

All tops/shirts go with the black pants, striped pants and skirts. The shirts go with the navy pants. Cardigans go with everything. I could probably ditch the plain navy pants and simplify the uniform further, but I get compliments on them so that’s joyful 😊

HOME/MUMMY DUTIES
Blue jeans x2
Black jeans
Black tshirts x5
Coloured tshirts x2
Shorts x4
Hoodies x2
Cardigans from the work wardrobe also go with everything here.

I also have a couple of dresses and two fancy tops (which go with the black work pants) for “going out”. That hardly ever happens, but I love my few going out clothes and have worked really hard to find the perfect ones so I always feel like I have the right thing to wear. Like a PP mentioned, I keep a list of what I feel I’m missing. I actually find that now I’m just replacing existing items I love when they get worn out, or doubling up on them so I have enough, rather than looking for new things. I’m not afraid to buy the same style if it’s the right one for me (all my tshirts are the same style, and my work shoes are the same style in two different colours).

Quantity-wise it’s not crazy minimalist. People might say “oh you don’t need so many tshirts” for example. But it’s the right number for me to make sure I have enough to keep up with washing (or dry cleaning for work stuff) and not get caught out because it rained yesterday and I couldn’t get the washing dry.

I’m also not an accessories person. For a while I tried to build a collection of scarves (for the “pop” of colour fashiony people talk about) but I’ve concluded that’s not my style. Likewise belts, handbags, etc, all got donated.  I have an everyday handbag and a blingy clutch. Easy.

#48 wannabe30

Posted 09 January 2019 - 10:01 PM

View PostChaotic Pogo, on 09 January 2019 - 06:36 PM, said:

I'm also doing the capsule thing - I noticed I didnt stick to the list, bought a black pair of jeans and suddenly had to buy shoes, a shirt etc etc because nothing went with them

I was just thinking about how this is such a benefit of “uniform” dressing.

I needed a new coat last winter and it was so easy - it only had to work with two outfits (my work uniform and my mummy uniform). My handbag is the same - no need to worry about matching different bags to different outfits because all my outfits are almost identical!

#49 FeralRebelWClaws

Posted 09 January 2019 - 10:04 PM

I have about 6 garbage bags waiting to be donated. That's after donating about 5 bags last week!

I haven't got to my drawers yet! (My clothes are organised, I just need to cull... so I am doing it one section at a time.) I'm not entirely sure that KonMari folding for pants will work for my plus size clothes, but I will see! I probably could cull even more, there were a couple of things that I kept because I do wear them, but I don't love them and they truely don't spark joy. I will reevaluate those again in the future.

I am hoping to get through the rest of my clothing before I go back to work at the end of January (starting next week DH is on holidays too and I will have DS home every day!)

I like the idea of thinking about your vision for your life and whether the item fits in with that vision.

#50 **Tiger*Filly**

Posted 09 January 2019 - 10:20 PM

I've been watching it and honestly it's over the top to ascribe so much meaning to tidying IMO. But you know, it's TV, and she's cute, and there are some good ideas. The spark joy thing though - it's a very privileged view that you'd only own things that spark joy not what you happened to afford.
I like makeover shows but Queer Eye is much better.




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