Jump to content

Marie Kondo and sparking joy


  • Please log in to reply
275 replies to this topic

#51 Crombek

Posted 10 January 2019 - 05:29 AM

View PostFresh Start, on 09 January 2019 - 11:08 PM, said:

Years ago I heard a similar suggestion for utensils. Put them all in a box. If you take it out and use it put it away in the kitchen. After 6 months of it is still in the box you don’t need it.

Doesn’t this kind of organising assume a static lifestyle though? I hear about this often and feel like yet again I’m doing life wrong lol. I mean, for 11 months of the year I don’t touch the vast majority of my utensil drawer because I’ve barely got time to chuck some bread at the kids for dinner. But now, when I’m on holidays I use all the fancy baking & cooking things. At least with the Konmari method I can still keep them.

#52 gracie1978

Posted 10 January 2019 - 06:18 AM

If you're happy with your home and your life then you don't need it.

If you hate the way your house looks and it's hard to live in, or you feel stuck in your life and WANT a change, then it's great.

I just cleaned out my make up drawer and cleared my dresser top, it feels great and is making life easier on busy mornings.

I've done most of the Karen Kingston courses and I've even been known to offer services in my local community.... I love decluttering so much I'll do it for free in a stranger's house :p

Please get rid of clothes that don't fit.  You'll never get back to a smaller size if you hold on to them.

Trust me.
I week after I got rid of mine I had the clarity about what I needed to do about my weight.
Also the joy of loosing weight is clothes shopping and pre baby
70kg needs slightly different styles to post baby 70kg.

#53 needs to get out

Posted 10 January 2019 - 06:26 AM

Fresh Start, on 09 January 2019 - 11:08 PM, said:

Years ago I heard a similar suggestion for utensils. Put them all in a box. If you take it out and use it put it away in the kitchen. After 6 months of it is still in the box you don’t need it.

We used to move house every couple of years (Dad taught in country schools).

Mum would box up things she thought she didn't need together in one box. If we went to leave the house without her needing to unpack it, the whole box would go.

It took me quite a while to get over the hoarding tendencies I experienced as a result of moving so frequently! DP still hasn't got over it, but he moved exponentially more times than me as a child. Likes DVDs, physical copies of games, various nick nacky dust collectors. He did an enormous clean out of computer parts before Christmas though.

#54 MadMarchMasterchef

Posted 10 January 2019 - 07:52 AM

View Post**Tiger*Filly**, on 09 January 2019 - 10:20 PM, said:

The spark joy thing though - it's a very privileged view that you'd only own things that spark joy not what you happened to afford.


Yeah I have this thought quite a bit about this concept. My parents tend to hoard because we went through a time period of being very poor when I was a child.
That dress you only wear to weddings that you get invited to only every 3 years?  Some people can only afford to throw it out if they can afford to buy another dress if they do get invited to another wedding.

Im in a different financial situation now and Ive had to try really hard to let go of some of that emotional baggage about being 'poor'.  Some of the concepts on this thread are really useful to me.

#55 Hypnic Jerk

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:18 AM

.... or serves a purpose.

Sparking joy is just one aspect.  We did the garage recently.  Nothing much inthere to set off sparks but I was saying to DH “what purpose does it serve?” and that got rid of s few more things.

#56 Hollycoddle

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:29 AM

View PostExpelliarmus, on 09 January 2019 - 08:24 PM, said:

I tried folding t shirts like Marie Kondo but I got bored and gave up. It did not spark the joy ...

Yeah I'm not a fan of the rolling stuff up thing, I prefer my clothes and linen to be in neat, orderly stacks.  If you only have a limited amount of stuff like I do then it's hardly necessary to be able to see at a glance what you have because you usually already know.  And I pretty much have a capsule wardrobe so everything should go with everything else anyway, no matter what I pull out.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 10 January 2019 - 08:53 AM.


#57 a letter to Elise.

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:42 AM

I think that's why I like this method better than others. I have three really beautiful dresses that I wear to weddings. One very formal dress, and two less formal dresses. I've had one for 11 years, and the others for over 6. I haven't worn them for about two years, but I know I will again.

I also feel like it's a kinder way to acknowledge to myself that my life has moved on from some things, and that's ok. I don't have to get rid of everything, but I can arrange the things I do have in a way that make them easier to access and use.

#58 Staying Strange

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:46 AM

I think one of the things people misunderstand about Konmari is that is not about minimalism.  It's more..... mindfulness I guess.

And if keeping an item of clothing that fits (even if you don't like it) sparks joy because it means you don't have to buy another (that you don't have the money for) that's ok too. Keeping 12 sets of spare linen so you have it when you need it sparks joy? keep them neatly in a designated space. Having only items in use sparks joy? Ditch 10 of the spares.  

It's a tidying method not a de-cluttering method.

I've done it a few times (each time we move,  have another child) and it works for me. My wardrobe has only pieces I enjoy wearing.... though I thrive on consistency and routine so don't mind having 3x tops; 2xpants and 1x shoes for work (I work 3days). My sister on the other hand gets joy from choice and variety, so keeps a much larger number of times. Both of us have work wardrobes that "spark joy" but both are very different.

I find the konmari sub Reddit really useful: https://www.reddit.com/r/konmari/

Edited - to fix typo

Edited by Staying Strange, 10 January 2019 - 08:49 AM.


#59 FearsomeFeralFreak

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:47 AM

Having a house with next to no storage space helps if you struggle with hoarding. Move to Sydney's inner west to a workers cottage without wardrobes or cupboards of any kind!

I'm a bit the other way. I get rid of stuff constantly because I hate clutter (even if its out of sight) or things I perceive as useless items. Too much 'stuff' makes me feel weirdly claustrophobic and a bit anxious. So does having a messy house. My poor children, both my DH and I are tidy freaks.

That said, I'd love to have a collection of clothing that gives me joy. I definitely don't- but I despise shopping so the idea of hunting around for the perfect clothes feels me with dread. And will never, ever happen.

Edited by FearsomeFeralFreak, 10 January 2019 - 08:49 AM.


#60 seayork2002

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:51 AM

I find having method to simplify your life a bit of an oxymoron, we are (alright DH, who has done 80% of it already) in the big process of getting rid of stuff and just keeping stuff we really want to keep.

I like all these ideas in theory but (for example only) I love coffee mugs, others think they are boring and I totally get that!!, so am going to get rid of the mass of rubbish ones we have and just keep and buy some nice ones.

So I find joy in my coffee mugs but just wear basic knickers, so I guess her ideas may works for some

#61 Hollycoddle

Posted 10 January 2019 - 08:56 AM

View PostStaying Strange, on 10 January 2019 - 08:46 AM, said:

Keeping 12 sets of spare linen so you have it when you need it sparks joy? keep them neatly in a designated space. Having only items in use sparks joy? Ditch 10 of the spares.  

Lol I'm planning on doing my linen cupboard this weekend.  Pretty sure I'll go with ditching the spare doona covers (I have about 6 sets) but then that's in conflict with my wish also to not buy any stuff, if I don't have spares then in a few years I might have to be buying more.  The solution is probably just to have one set of spares, after all a doona cover can last a lot of years.  I used to care about having choice and variety but my desire to just not have stuff has superseded this.

Edited by Mollycoddle, 10 January 2019 - 08:59 AM.


#62 Riotproof

Posted 10 January 2019 - 09:08 AM

View Postseayork2002, on 10 January 2019 - 08:51 AM, said:

I find having method to simplify your life a bit of an oxymoron, we are (alright DH, who has done 80% of it already) in the big process of getting rid of stuff and just keeping stuff we really want to keep.

I like all these ideas in theory but (for example only) I love coffee mugs, others think they are boring and I totally get that!!, so am going to get rid of the mass of rubbish ones we have and just keep and buy some nice ones.

So I find joy in my coffee mugs but just wear basic knickers, so I guess her ideas may works for some

But that’s exactly her point. You like having fifty coffee mugs. Other people might get rid of the 10 tucked in the back that never get used, but you might like them.

I agree with her on lots of things, but I also find it hard to do when no one in my house agrees with me.

#63 Chchgirl

Posted 10 January 2019 - 09:09 AM

View PostStillDreaming, on 09 January 2019 - 07:09 PM, said:



Perhaps holding onto those clothes is holding you back.... Can you create a skeleton closet for now and slowly start adding pieces you love that suit who you are today?

This was me a few years back. I kept a few pre children dresses and clothes to wear again when I lost the large amount of baby weight fromt first dd. Then I had my 2nd.

I got close to my pre preggo weight in 2014, but couldn't wear the dresses as my body had changed so still couldn't fit in them! Never been able to get rid of my gut lol. And I was 30 when I had my first dd, and am now nearly 51, I don't even like them anyway, so chucked them last time I moved.

I didn't even know who Marie Kondo was, but it came on my Netflix so have watched two episodes. I might try some of this when I get my container of goods sent to nz.

It will be interesting to watch the widow one. When my dh died 7 years ago, I sent all Hus clothes to Vinnie's 3 months later as I didn't want them and wanted the wardrobe space. As callous as that sounds, it was good. He had a lot of very nice suits and business clothes, hopefully someone got good use out of them.

But gee, he was a hoarder. U don't know how I am going to deal with sone of that stuff as they were his things.

#64 Caribou

Posted 10 January 2019 - 11:35 AM

View PostStillDreaming, on 09 January 2019 - 05:37 PM, said:

Will do. Thanks.

Tayto.tired - that’s great to hear that you had a lot of success with the wardrobe. I’ll defonitely be giving it a go. I’ve tried in the past but often hold on to things ‘just in case’ and never wear them...


I find if you're nervous about tossing clothes, bag everything you want to ditch. put that bag in the spare room or garage. mark on the calendar for 1-2 months time, 'charity drop off' then see if you really missed or cared about any of those items. if you didn't touch that bag for the entire month, then you should be able to toss it without second thought.

#65 seayork2002

Posted 10 January 2019 - 11:40 AM

View PostCaribou, on 10 January 2019 - 11:35 AM, said:

I find if you're nervous about tossing clothes, bag everything you want to ditch. put that bag in the spare room or garage. mark on the calendar for 1-2 months time, 'charity drop off' then see if you really missed or cared about any of those items. if you didn't touch that bag for the entire month, then you should be able to toss it without second thought.

This times a billion (see I don't exaggerate much)

DH finished work early December and spent most of the time getting rid of stuff around the place, I was a little nervous sat at work thinking what has gone BUT I am have not missed anything so far (I am a big hoarder)

Finding stuff is 'interesting' though

#66 cardamom

Posted 10 January 2019 - 12:20 PM

I haven't read the book but watched the series over the weekend and quite liked it. I thought it did a nice job of exploring why people have the attachment that they do to particular items, and how easily you can become overwhelmed by 'stuff' when it's not set up/organised in a way that works for you.

I strike a kind of middle ground between accumulator and minimalist.

I like having my little bits and pieces around that bring me happiness and brighten up my flat - various tchotchkes and decorative pieces, an excessive volume of scarves, more cute serving dishes than strictly necessary, and so on - but I also like knowing that my space is very organised and everything has its place.

My parents struggle with clutter and hoarding and it caused SO much conflict during my childhood - still does. Everything was so unorganised, you could never find a single thing and it led to constant fights. I refuse for my home to be like that, it fills me with dread and anxiety to even think of it.

I cull things regularly, I enjoy sitting down with a TV show while I go through the pantry/wardrobe/Tupperware cupboard etc. Over time I've gotten better at asking "do I really need this?" and reminding myself that it's okay to get rid of something if I no longer need it - and likewise, when purchasing something new, I'll stop and question whether it's really necessary or if it will just add unwanted 'stuff' to my space that I'll regret later. I try to get most things second-hand now too, to help minimise waste/guilt.

I noticed that DP started watching the show last night so I'll be curious to see if it leads to any de-cluttering/organising on his part!

Oh, I also folded my T-shirts her way and am really pleased with it, it means I can see them much more easily - before they were stacked in a drawer and it was only ever the top two or three that got worn.

#67 Schmig

Posted 10 January 2019 - 12:29 PM

I first attempted to user her methods a year ago when we moved out to rebuild. Now that we are back in the house I am going through the process again. I was feeling overwhelmed by stuff. I feel it is a good way of assessing what you want to keep in your life and being thoughtful with what you buy and keep in the future. It helped me to think about what I really want to have in my home and my kids find it helpful  to keep their things tidy. (My eldest DD was getting very stressed as she was always losing stuff).

I feel like having less that I don't use and being more considerate with what I buy makes my home and life simpler for me.

I am not sure that sparking joy is the right way to describe how I think about what I want to keep. It's more about 'what do I want in my life moving forward'.

#68 Jingleflea

Posted 10 January 2019 - 12:57 PM

My biggest obstacle in the way of doing a proper declutter and konmarie of the house is DD.

She's 8 so still in the 'toy' phase, hardly ever plays with her toys, but everything she has sparks joy in her, but not me!

I try to teach her to declutter, I don't want to be the type of mum mine was and yelling at her and not respecting her space, but my god her room drives me nuts.

And today she buys one of those stupid LoL toys with all the bits and packaging...but it was her Christmas money to spend so I couldn't really say no.

I just pointed out the amount of waste thats in those toys.

#69 MerryMadrigalMadge

Posted 10 January 2019 - 02:55 PM

https://www.theguard...rap?CMP=soc_567

Piece today in the Guardian.

#70 Riotproof

Posted 10 January 2019 - 03:02 PM

Yes. I do agree that mindless consumerism is a huge part of the problem.

#71 EmmDasher

Posted 10 January 2019 - 03:03 PM

I think you could take any decluttering process in the cycle of consumerism suggested by that article. In my observation it doesn’t tend to happen though. I’m part of a large Konmari group and for many families the Konmari process puts them on a path to minimalism and/or zero or low waste living. The idea that people will use the Konmari process as a justification for even greater consumerism obviously could happen but doesn’t really sit well or align with the ‘mindfulness’ and ‘careful choices’ philosophy underscoring the process. I think if you end up in that sort of cycle you’ve really thoroughly missed the point.

#72 WaitForMe

Posted 10 January 2019 - 03:49 PM

View PostMarigoldMadge, on 10 January 2019 - 02:55 PM, said:

https://www.theguard...rap?CMP=soc_567

Piece today in the Guardian.

Yeah. Its been a while since I read it but I'm sure she talks about going forward, thinking about whether the item will spark joy before buying it.

But it is so easy to get swept up in the consumerism of it all. Convincing ourselves that these items do indeed spark joy and need them in our lives. Only to realise a month or so down the track that nah not so much, or perhaps forgetting about the almost identical item that has been doing just fine sparking joy before this shiny new and improved one turned up.

#73 Missy D

Posted 10 January 2019 - 05:34 PM

View Postwannabe30, on 09 January 2019 - 09:50 PM, said:



I have two: “work uniform” and “mummy uniform” ...

WORK
Black pants x2
Black skirts x2
Black tops x3
Navy pants
Navy/blue pinstripe pants
White shirts x2
Coloured cardigans x2
Black cardigan
Black shoes
Navy shoes

All tops/shirts go with the black pants, striped pants and skirts. The shirts go with the navy pants. Cardigans go with everything. I could probably ditch the plain navy pants and simplify the uniform further, but I get compliments on them so that’s joyful

HOME/MUMMY DUTIES
Blue jeans x2
Black jeans
Black tshirts x5
Coloured tshirts x2
Shorts x4
Hoodies x2
Cardigans from the work wardrobe also go with everything here.

I also have a couple of dresses and two fancy tops (which go with the black work pants) for “going out”. That hardly ever happens, but I love my few going out clothes and have worked really hard to find the perfect ones so I always feel like I have the right thing to wear. Like a PP mentioned, I keep a list of what I feel I’m missing. I actually find that now I’m just replacing existing items I love when they get worn out, or doubling up on them so I have enough, rather than looking for new things. I’m not afraid to buy the same style if it’s the right one for me (all my tshirts are the same style, and my work shoes are the same style in two different colours).

Quantity-wise it’s not crazy minimalist. People might say “oh you don’t need so many tshirts” for example. But it’s the right number for me to make sure I have enough to keep up with washing (or dry cleaning for work stuff) and not get caught out because it rained yesterday and I couldn’t get the washing dry.

I’m also not an accessories person. For a while I tried to build a collection of scarves (for the “pop” of colour fashiony people talk about) but I’ve concluded that’s not my style. Likewise belts, handbags, etc, all got donated.  I have an everyday handbag and a blingy clutch. Easy.

Just want to say I love your work and mummy uniform! My mummy uniform needs improvement and your list has helped me identify what I was missing!

#74 MadMarchMasterchef

Posted 10 January 2019 - 05:41 PM

View PostMollycoddle, on 10 January 2019 - 08:56 AM, said:

Lol I'm planning on doing my linen cupboard this weekend.  Pretty sure I'll go with ditching the spare doona covers (I have about 6 sets) but then that's in conflict with my wish also to not buy any stuff, if I don't have spares then in a few years I might have to be buying more.  The solution is probably just to have one set of spares, after all a doona cover can last a lot of years.  I used to care about having choice and variety but my desire to just not have stuff has superseded this.

I find it really helps me feel better about giving away (good condition ) stuff is if I freecycle or op shop it as opposed to just chucking.
That way I feel happy that somebody is getting use out of it

#75 Lalala4

Posted 10 January 2019 - 05:43 PM

I just have to tell you all that my Australian designed spin-dry toilet brush DOES bring me joy...

https://dreamfarm.com/spindry/




0 user(s) are reading this topic

0 members, 0 guests, 0 anonymous users

 
 
Advertisement
 

Top 5 Viewed Articles

 
Advertisement
 
 
 
Advertisement
 
 
Essential Baby and Essential Kids is the place to find parenting information and parenting support relating to conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids, maternity, family budgeting, family travel, nutrition and wellbeing, family entertainment, kids entertainment, tips for the family home, child-friendly recipes and parenting. Try our pregnancy due date calculator to determine your due date, or our ovulation calculator to predict ovulation and your fertile period. Our pregnancy week by week guide shows your baby's stages of development. Access our very active mum's discussion groups in the Essential Baby forums or the Essential Kids forums to talk to mums about conception, pregnancy, birth, babies, toddlers, kids and parenting lifestyle. Essential Baby also offers a baby names database of more than 22,000 baby names, popular baby names, boys' names, girls' names and baby names advice in our baby names forum. Essential Kids features a range of free printable worksheets for kids from preschool years through to primary school years. For the latest baby clothes, maternity clothes, maternity accessories, toddler products, kids toys and kids clothing, breastfeeding and other parenting resources, check out Essential Baby and Essential Kids.